His Heart
He stared, suddenly oblivious to the rest of the world.
She stared back.
It had only been a few weeks since the war between Suna and Konaha had broken out.
There had been a mishap between two scouting parties on the border of Wind and Fire, and tensions and resentments that had been building for the last few years exploded, Sand and Leaf shinobi straining for each other, hungry for the kill. The kage's found there was nothing they could do to stop it, and instead turned their minds to protecting their respective people, any thoughts of peace and alliance pushed back behind war and death.
He had suspected this might happen. After all everything seemed to go wrong for them. Neji would call it fate. He called it bad luck and stupidity. And although he had known that as jounin they would most likely find each other on opposite ends of a battlefield, he had denied it to himself. And know that moment was here.
It was times like this he felt cursed by his remarkable brain, the brain that was at this time constructing plan after plan, situation after situation, all resulting in her death. Fight or flight. Instinct had kicked in, since flight was no option.
He shook his head, gnashing his teeth, trying to shake away the images of her blood staining his hands that pooled through his mind. Looking at her face, he saw a look that most likely mirrored his own. Horror. Pain. Love.
It was that that made his mind stop, the sight of her love giving it pause and allowing his heart to gain control. Now fight was no longer an option. But how? To leave her alive would be to betray his village, to kill her would be to betray his soul. Then he saw it. The opening he was looking for. The one thing he had left. His village bound him. There was a way to escape those bonds.
"Shikamaru," she breathed, the torture in her voice painfully evident. He grinned at her the smile he gave to only her. The smile that came from his heart.
"Relax," he called out. But his smile disappeared as the full weight of what he was about to do hit him. "I won't hurt you." His voice softened. "I can't kill you." She still looked troubled.
Temari's P.O.V.
She felt like she was suffocating, slowly being ripped apart between to large forces. On one side was her fierce loyalty to Suna. On the other her love for this mn who had stolen her heart, in a way no one else could. She knew he thought the same things she thought, and felt desperation close over her as his quiet words floated to her ears. He sounded so sweet, like the way he did on those afternoons when they would stare at the clouds all day, except he would always wind up staring at her, telling her how much better she was then any cloud in the sky. Her body began to shudder in response to her revulsion to the thought of his death. His death at her hands. She looked up at him, begging with her eyes, hoping he found away out, praying that this won't be the day his mind fails. But so far, he's done nothing. She had to know. She had to ask.
"I know you're a genius," she spoke quietly. "But how can you get out of this one?" He smiled tenderly at her, as he pulled a kunai from his holster.
"Easy," The kunai flashed down towards his heart, as she felt a cry, no, a scream rip free from deep inside her, tearing her throat as it echoed into the air.
But the fountain of red she expected did not flare into existence. Instead his weapon struck across his arm, the screech of metal on metal painful to her ears. As the sparks faded away, the deep gash splitting his protector became visible.
"Why?" Was the only thing she could force through her shocked lips. The tender smile still rested on his face.
"Because, Temari, killing you would be equivalent to killing my heart. And god knows I wouldn't want to do that now." The smile took on a bittersweet air. "As a missing-nin I renounce my allegiance to Konoha, thereby allowing me to ignore the orders I've been given. Orders that command me to kill any Suna ninja on sight, orders which I have followed with doubt ever since this accursed war started. Doubts like 'is he her friend?' or 'will this hurt her?' and worst of all, 'can she forgive me?' Temari-love, there is a point when duty is impossible." She stared at him mouth agape.
"You...renounce...Konoha?" She choked out. He chuckled slightly.
"It's easy, I tell you that. My mind tells me to follow orders. My heart tells me to ignore them." He looked at the sky as she had seen him do so many times before. "I've always been told to ignore my emotions. But with you that's impossible." That annoying, heart-wrenching, painfully endearing smile was back. "Do me a favor? Once I leave, if you could find a way to let Ino and Chouji know I'm alive, I would hate for them to mourn me." He looked at her for her answer. She nodded stiffly. He looked back up at the clouds. "So, I guess-" He vanished in a puff of smoke, reappearing behind her. She didn't move/ Slowly he bent down and kissed the crook of her neck, as he had done so often in the past. Lifting his lips to her ear he whispered his final words. "-Good bye, Temari."
And with that he was gone.
