Chapter eleven: The blue mushroom

Will woke on Tuesday morning screaming awake from the same nightmare he had had the two previous nights in a row. All he could see was the blue mushroom. Had he reached it in time? Or had Lyra really faded into the forest and been lost forever? Like in his dream? He had no choice now but to go back to the bench and wait for Lyra to send him turning over in the darkness until he hit the ground of some unknown world. But would she come? Or was she trapped in some limbo? He couldn't live the rest of his life not knowing, he would rather die. He had to go. He knew it was dangerous, but Lyra was right they couldn't part ways with the last time they had seen each other. Panicked and scared. Even if it was only for a minute, it would be better than nothing.

Will sighed and got dressed for school. Breakfast was ready when he got to the table. His mother gave him a concerned look,

"Will, you woke up screaming again this morning, is everything all right?" Will forced a smile on his face and reassured his mom that everything was fine, he just had a bad dream.

Lyra hit the ground in front of the bench with unpleasant force. Luckily she landed on her hands and knees so she only had a few scrapes. She rolled over on her back for a few seconds to catch her breath. She closed her eyes and pictured Will's face in her mind. She might never see him again.

As Lyra opened her eye's she saw an owl perched in a tree. It "hooed" at her and then fled. Lyra sat up straight and stared after the owl. They didn't have owls in this part of England? Realization hit Lyra like a splash of cold water. She started running through the streets after the owl. She found herself taking an all too familiar route back to her dorm. She cursed herself for being so foolish. She should have checked to see if she was being followed.

When Lyra entered the dorm Nelie was in a state of bitter anger. She was pacing the room kicking anything in her path while she made obscene motions with her arms. All the while muttering to herself. Lyra stepped into the room with her eyes cast downward at her shoes. Nelie confronted her as soon as the door closed.

"LYRA! I told you not to do it! You're just lucky you made it out alive! Let's just hope that Will was as lucky!" Nelie yelled in a shrill high pitched voice. Lyra looked up startled at this last statement.

"What do you mean? Will must have made it in time if I got back." Lyra speculated as Nelie shook her head.

"Lyra, you just don't understand. It's no guarantee that he made it-" She was interrupted by Lyra.

"How do you know?" Lyra was becoming angry at Nelie for suggesting such things. Nelie looked up at Lyra, hurt by her skepticism.

"I know, because I lost a loved one in the same way." Lyra gasped staring at her, confused.

"Yes, about three years ago, just before the end of the war. I was fighting when I slipped into a hole that led to this world. I've been trapped here ever since, unable to get back to my people." Nelie had a distant shimmer in her eyes as she recollected her story.

"My love from my world was able to survive the war and went back to our home. We had a "special place" much like you and Will do. It was on the outskirts of our village in a flowered meadow. In the middle was an oddly shaped rock. We used to sit on it as children and play and talk for hours." Nelie took a shaking breath and continued.

"One day I felt the same sensation you have felt while on the bench in the park. I was in the meadow, curled up on the rock when I transported to a tropical jungle world. He was there too. We decided to stay, forever. Neither of us had anything to go back to in our respective worlds. His family and most of the clan was dead. And I was trapped in an unfamiliar world." Nelie stopped, trying to hold back her tears. Lyra moved to comfort her but she brushed her away coldly.

"When the world started to fade, and us along with it we had to get back. Luckily he was smart enough to suggest going back to the spots we had appeared. His, was under a tree that had a vine of purple flowers which we were already standing under. He told me to run back to the stream a few hundred feet away. It was out of the jungle, on the beach. While I was running I could see him standing on the edge of the forest under his tree, waiting. Just before I reached the stream I fell over a rock. I got up hastily and reached the stream in a few more strides. But I was too late. As I turned to get one last look at him, I watched his body wink out of existence as I was wisped up to the sky." Nelie wasn't crying anymore. She was looking even more angry than before.

Lyra stood, aghast, unable to respond. Nelie stared at Lyra for a minute, then turned away shaking her head.

"I've never been able to forgive myself Lyra. If I had been faster he would have survived. It's my fault that he's dead." Nelie sat on the edge of the bed. Lyra followed and she allowed her to put a comforting hand on her knee.

"Nelie, I'm sorry. I had no idea. Maybe if you had told me sooner I wouldn't have been stupid enough to go back and risk both of our life's." Nelie looked down at her hands, deep in thought. When she looked up again her eyes were wet with tears.

"I'm sorry Lyra. I shouldn't have been so mad at you. The truth is, I was just so worried about you. I was afraid that you wouldn't come back. And you're the only friend here I have." She took Lyra's hand in hers and smiled through her tears. Lyra couldn't return her smile. She still had to tell Nelie that she was going back. She quickly averted her gaze away and tried to think of how to tell her. Nelie noticed her aversion and her smile faded instantly.

"Lyra...you can't seriously be thinking of going back...not after what I'm sure you just experienced."

"I have to go back Nelie. I told Will I would wait for him one more time. The way we parted...we didn't get to settle things between us. I couldn't live the rest of my life knowing that he might think I'm dead!" Nelie sighed.

"You told him about Jason didn't you?" Lyra nodded, "Oh, alright, but you have to promise to stay no more than an hour. I don't know how long the world you end up in will remain stable this time." Lyra beamed and hugged her,

"Thank you so much Nelie, I can imagine how hard it must be to watch me disappear into the unknown and not know if I'll come back alive. But I promise I will." Nelie hugged her back tightly not wanting to let go.

Lyra went through school that day in a daze. She let Nelie do all the work in her biology class during the lab. She couldn't seem to concentrate. All she could think about was how she was going to manage to say goodbye to Will for a second time. She was in so much distress that she even considered not going back to this world again. She knew what would happen, but it was almost impossible to bear the thought of losing Will again. But Lyra knew Will would never let her do that, even if she had her mind set on it. He would tie her to the spot while he went to his and transported her back.

A small smile broke across Lyra's face at the thought. On the other side of her astronomy class Jason was staring at her with an odd expression on his face. She hadn't realized she was gazing in his direction. He must have gotten the wrong idea when she had smiled his way.

Behind Lyra, Nelie was observing the little exchange between the two. Lyra's head turned away quickly. Her smile had turned to a frown and her cheeks were slightly flushed. She couldn't tell if the blush was from thinking about Will or Jason's relentless staring. He was concerned about her, this much she could tell.

Nelie too, was worried about Lyra. She wasn't sure that she could be happy again after another separation. But what Lyra didn't realize was even if Will really was something unique, someone who could never be replaced; there were still people in this world that loved her. She did, Jason did, her professors admired her for her cleverness, even their dorm leader took a liking to her.

Lyra didn't realize that she was well loved in her little college world, she had a home here.

When Mr. Pigott dismissed the class, Nelie rushed over to Jason. He seemed surprised that she had come over to talk to him.

Lyra approached them tentatively, her expression was one of extreme loneliness and dejection. Nelie patted her shoulder and told her to go on to the dorm, she needed to talk with the professor and Jason about a project. She managed a meek smile towards her professor on the way out. Who raised his eyebrows in a question towards Nelie. Lyra was always in good spirits and he was concerned about her recent behavior. Nelie motioned for him to come over to her and Jason.

Nelie was fast at work explaining something to the two of them. It looked like she was giving direction to some place, then she pointed at the watch on her wrist. The two nodded and the group separated, Nelie seemed to be in a hurry to get somewhere. She rushed down the hallway in the opposite direction of the drom.

It was the last time he would get to see her. Ever. It was bad enough that he had to go through it once, but he never imagined that it would happen again. Even so, the past week had been memorable despite its bittersweet ending. At first he had been unhappy that Lyra had obligated him to meet her again, now that they knew the risks it didn't seem worth it. Then again they had parted in a hurry with no last words or kisses. And he had realized that he still had one last thing to say to her. He needed to make sure that she would move on after they parted. She couldn't live in the past forever. There are more opportunities that should be taken, there are other people out there that love her. However much it pained him to say it, it was true. The same was true for him too.

It was four o' clock when he boarded the bus to go downtown to the garden. Plenty of time for him to walk leisurely to the gardens from the bus stop, more time to think of what to say.