Thanks for the reviews! Sorry for not updating, but I left my computer at my dads when I went to visit him last Tuesday, and I just got it back Saturday, and then it was Easter.

(By the way, in this chapter, Emmett talks about bigger people, and it does not take anyone into account. Please don't be offended.)

Chapter 22- Floral Dresses

Emmett's POV

I couldn't believe what Alice wanted me to do for my job, assignment, whatever you wanted to call it.

Number 19- Walk around Wal Mart in clothes belonging to the opposite sex and talk in an obnoxious voice.

Great, just great, up until now, I had been all for this game. But now I had to dress up as a girl, I mean come on.

Oh well, I probably should just get it over with. I walked over to the clothes- the women's clothes. Man, would any of these even fit me. I picked up a random shirt, and held it up to my chest; it would probably fit a Barbie Doll better than it would fit me.

I wondered over to the plus section, god, this was embarrassing; I was shopping in the plus section. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but I had never thought of myself as big before.

I mean, sure, I was muscular, but never in my life had I bought anything that was a plus size. I liked people that were plusses size. Don't get me wrong, but was I getting fat? Was that even possible?

Oh well, I thought, and grabbed a hideously floral print dress, and went into the dressing room. I tried it on- a perfect fit! I couldn't believe it, and on my first try! That never happened- sure Alice bought most of my clothes, but I sometimes went with her, it kind of sucked when you were stuck in a dressing room, for hours and hours at a time.

I walked out of the dressing rooms, earning stares from everyone, and I marched over to the shoes, and grabbed the highest pair of shoes in the place- If I was gaining weight I needed to gain height too- and put them on, time for phase two.

I went into the middle of the star and started talking.

"So, oh, my god, did you see what was happening with the Joe Bros today. I mean, come –awwn, seriously, really, can you, like believe it?" I said in a high voice.

People were staring, but I didn't care. This was actually kind of fun.

"And then, she like said, like, nu-uh girl friend, and I was like uh-huh girl friend, and she was like no way, and I was like way, and then he said yes!" I squealed.

I didn't know if I was making sense or not, but it was fun making all these dramatic gestures.

"And then I was, like, that was so yesterday." I continued on. "Oh no," I muttered under my breath, as I saw Tag walking toward me. He looked slightly mad, a little red in the face, and determined. Not a good combination.

"Excuse me sir, mam?" Tag said, coming towards me.

"Yes." I said, staring down at the little man.

"You and your friends are no executing proper Wal Mart enterprises behavior, and we would appreciate it if you would please leave our store." He said, his voice all official.

"Um, I rather not, but thanks for the suggestion." I said, turning around. He ran around to face me- I looked down at the top of his head, was that a bald spot?

"Um, sir, mam, you need to leave." He said, more forcefully.

"Um, I'm a dude! And not right now, ok?" I said, annoyed.

"Um, sir, we need you to leave." He said, his voice trembling, I rolled my eyes.

"Um, little man, why do you keep saying um?" I asked.

"Um, well, please just leave." He said, scared now.

I laughed, though I wasn't in the mood for getting this guy to poop his pants, though I defiantly didn't want to loose face, especially if I was fat now.

I need to go out in style, quick Emmett, think. Oh, I know, Brain blast!

"See you." I said, walking out runway fashion. With my hips swaying back and forth- man I was sexy- I pranced out of the store, holding up my three middle fingers.

"Read between the lines!" I shouted, which was basically flipping him off with out flipping him off.

I looked to my right, seeing the door, a pole, the edge of the wall, wait, why was there a pole?

oOoOoOo

Hope you liked, Emmett's mind is always fun to venture into.

Please check out my website, the Cullen Awards, it is my home page.

And just to let you know, I am going to put out two new stories soon, one is going to be titled Soul mates, and the other is called All's fair in a Lover's War. Look for them coming soon!

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