par après avs yeux
- a jalex story-
a/n: I was encouraged by the response to the prologue, so here is the first chapter of the story. I apologize if it moves slowly right now; I want to set the background so that the rest of the story makes sense. Hope you enjoy :D Keep on reviewing; they make me happy.
chapter one - justin
[three years later]
Le prix de grandeur est la responsabilité.
The price of greatness is responsibility.
- Winston Churchill
My fingers clench around the pencils, moving them into perfect alignment on the right end of the desk. Pulling a few out, I tap the tips to make sure the lead is still sharp - I refuse to use those mechanical pencils that promote laziness - then color coordinate them from cold to warm. Blue here, fuschia over here and finally it looks in order. Wrapping my hands around the stack of papers in front of my chair I slap them against the desk until they are aligned, then set them to the left.
"Professor Russo?" My secretery peeks around the door and gives me a look so sharp I cringe, wondering who's really in charge here. "I have McCourt here waiting to speak to you about the recent restrictions you placed on him."
I clear my throat, wrap my hand around the edge of the desk, then ask, "Does he have an appointment?"
"Yes," she says with a brisk nod. "Can I send him in?"
I realign the pencils just to make sure I did it correctly the past five times. "Of course," I respond, trying to sound authoritative. "Thank you, Georgina."
She runs a hand through her short, spiky brown hair, "I've told you a million times to call me Gina. Would it kill you to listen?"
This is one of the reasons I keep Georgina around. Unlike all of the other Council members or bystanders, she isn't afraid to call me out on my obsessive need to keep things neat and orderly, or tell me that I need to stop distancing myself from the rest of the world. Even from the moment she walked in the door three months after I took Professor Crumbs' position, she wasn't afraid to open her mouth and tell me the truth. She said it wasn't her fault she was a quarter Centaur and thus had a short temper and blunt personality.
"The moment you stop calling me Professor Russo, then I'll compromise," I tell her with a triumphant smirk.
Gina laughs, adjusting her burgandy blouse. "The only reason I keep that up is to stop you from going insane, and you know it. We're past pretenses, Justin."
I flinch, then try to cover it up by fidgeting with my dark hair. A flush darkens by neck and cheeks and, angrily, I attempt to banish it.
"Bring him in," I mutter, glancing towards the row of pencils for the seventh time that morning.
"Bring him in, who?" Georgina pushes, crossing her arms.
I rise to my feet, smoothing out the wrinkles in my suit, then meet her expectant gaze. These little games she plays with me are often necessary, but it doesn't mean that I like them. It only serves to prove the point that I've gotten horribly paranoid and I cannot let anything of the sort slip out to the Wizard Tribune.
"Bring him in, Gina," I mutter so quietly I can barely even hear myself.
A satisfied smile stretches across Gina's face. "Thank you," she purrs, slipping back out the door and into the foyer.
Shoving my hands in my front pockets, I take a leisurely lap about the office, lingering over the photographs of the previous headmasters at Wiztech, noticing yet again how none of them are younger than eighty. A frown crosses over my face. What was Professor Crumbs thinking, giving me position in the spur of the moment? He hadn't thought it through; I recognize this more every time I run into a group of capable Council members attempting to give me advice involving important decisions.
Why did Professor Crumbs choose a child - in wizard years - to take his place? It is one of the questions I often toss and turn to at night. He couldn't have been thinking, because this job is harder than I ever could have anticipated. He'd made it seem so easy, shuffling about in his sparkly robes with a content expression as though he was on vacation. There is never a situation in which someone doesn't lose and every odd week I have angry members of the Wizard community banging on my door demanding an alteration in the newest set of laws.
Though I try to stop the uncertainty, it crowds in anyways, telling me that I'm not good or experienced enough for this job.
I need a vacation.
"Professor Russo?" A voice wobbles from the doorway and I turn to see one of my less-inspired students standing there. With his shaggy brown hair and perpetual smirk, the look in his eyes that suggests trouble, he reminds me all too much of those kids I studied with back before the wizard competition; they were always the students who went nowhere in life, though, so I had told myself to leave them in the midst of their antics and focus on my own studies to make sure I actually became somebody in this world.
"Sit down," I say, gesturing to the chair opposite mine. After a second, the boy sinks down into the chair and waits for me to sit in my plush recliner. "Fredward, right? Fredward McCourt?" My eyes fly over the paperwork to the left of my clenched hands, taking in the basic facts about the kid.
"Yeah," he mumbles. "I go by Freddie."
A little voice in my head laughs at the name, but I push away the childish thought.
"Look, I just wanted to ask you for a favor," the boy continues, brushing his hair out of his eyes. I wonder if he trips a lot.
"And that would be?" I respond, keeping my tone neutral. Inside I'm wondering what the heck he wants and how he could be so stupid as to ask a favor from the headmaster of his school. Don't people earn anything anymore?
Fredward knots his hands together, then blurts out, "I don't know how, but my wand privileges are this close to being taken away." He gestures a less than an inch between his thumb and pointer fingers, eyes widening. "I get that I'm not the best student, but I can't lose my magic, not when I'm so close to getting my full powers."
"Do you have any siblings?" I ask him, inwardly shaking my head. He looks so desperate, but it would be wrong for me to give him an easy way out.
"Nah," Fredward mutters, clenching his lips together as his eyes bore pleadingly into mine. "There's gotta be something I can do to keep my powers. Can't you, like, delay the process a little bit?"
It's no wonder the boy is so full of himself, I think, unable to keep a pitying chuckle from bubbling out. He doesn't have anyone to compete with. So, understandably, he thinks he has the full wizard powers in the bag.
"Look, Fredward -" I begin.
"Freddie," the boy interrupts, and I give him a warning look. He gulps and shuts up; I give myself a figurative pat on the back for authoritative behavior on my part.
"Look, Freddie," I start again, straightening my back to look more professional. "I have a class I can offer you that could get you back on track, but it's going to require some work on your part. At this point you have no other options."
The boy's shoulders slump a little further, "Isn't there anything else? Like an extension of sorts. I know you could pull some strings."
You think so low of me?
"Freddie, do you want to qualify for your full wizard powers?" I ask, keeping my voice steady, slow.
The boy's fingers tremble against the edge of the desk and this is when the guilt sinks in. I cannot stand to be the one to deliver news like this, though my siblings said I had a knack for it back in the day.
"I'll do whatever is necessary," Fredward says after a pause.
I smile at him, but inside I'm anything but calm. You remind me a little too much of someone, Freddie. Memories of curly black hair and a mocking smile surface for a second, but I brush them away. As professor, it is my job not to get too sentimental, to remain detached and serve the school the best I can.
I just hope I can meet Professor Crumbs' expectations.
"There you are," Juliet says the moment I step through the door. Relief saturates her tone.
"Sorry I'm late," I apologize, pulling her into a hug and kissing the top of her head. She squirms a bit, but I ignore it, needing to just hold her for a moment. "I had to assign a student to the 2.B Delinquent class right as I'd planned to leave."
"I'm just glad you're safe," Juliet responds, kissing me softly. I love her kisses, I think as she pulls back and smiles at me, but sometimes it's just not enough. She never asks about my work except when I tell her about important cases, though she'll tell me I'm doing fantastic as Headmaster. I love her, I really do, but I do wish she'd take a little more interest in my work.
"So, what's for dinner?" I ask, tangling our fingers together and allowing her to lead me towards the kitchen. The apartment we share isn't that big - even as Headmaster I don't make a fantastic salary, and Juliet usually only keeps odd jobs every few months - but there's something about it that's nice all the same. A fire is crackling in the fireplace and Juliet has set up several vanilla scented candles on the kitchen counter because she knows they calm me down. Some of the tension seeps from my body and I slump gratefully into one of the black barstools facing the counter.
"Well, I know you've been working really hard," Juliet replies, reaching into the oven, "so I went and asked your mom for her special chicken enchilada recipe. You deserve something special." She touches my hand and I'm reminded again why we've been together so long. No one else knows me like she does, and honestly, she's one of the most normal girls I've ever dated. The only time she goes a bit psycho is when she picks up Mason's scent at my parent's home, which isn't that often since we rarely visit Mom and Dad anymore.
Or, at least, she doesn't. I usually make trips later when she's gone to sleep so she won't think I'm abandoning her.
"Justin?" Her voice cuts through my thoughts like a knife.
"Hmm?" I wonder, meeting Juliet's worried gaze. "Sorry, I'm just tired. Been under a lot of stress lately."
"Hey," she murmers gently, cupping my face in her hands. Our lips brush. "You're so strong, do you know that?" she asks. "And I know that I haven't told you lately, but...I love you so much."
I smile at her, letting her know that her efforts mean a lot to me. "I love you too," I whisper.
Juliet pulls back then, and I get the niggling feeling that something is missing in our relationship that we used to have. But I associate with the stress of work and banish the thought. I know I love her, I think to myself as she hands me a green plate with two enchiladas, beans with cheese melted on the top and white rice - because she knows I can't stand any other kind. I can't imagine life without her.
It's a quarter to midnight that night when I untangle myself from Juliet's arms in our bed. She mumbles in her sleep, her face smoothing out as she twists and curls into a little ball, her fingers tugging on her pillow. Her golden curls spread behind her and she looks beautiful. I smile seriously down at her, remembering the many nights we wound around each other, becoming one, leaving imprints in the bed until we finally collapsed in exhaustion. I remember the times Juliet would actually want to go on dates with me to inconsequential places, when she had a streak of fire but knew that we brought out the best in each other.
Something changed in the last year; somehow I lost that girl. She changed, and I feel guilty that it causes so little for me to doubt our relationship. I don't know how to get her back, but I know that I want to try, because I could never live with myself if she ever walked away.
Stepping through the portal in my second closet - Juliet never fails to laugh at the fact that I have more closet space than her - I make my way through the mist until I reach the door to the old lair that Alex now uses. Predictably, she never moved out, but at least she had the good judgment to get a job. I see her now, through the crack in the lair door Max caused by accidentally setting loose his pet griffin.
Alex is wearing her hair shorter again and it weaves about in loose curls, resting on her shoulders. She's mumbling to herself as she attempts to scrub at the gum stuck under the tables in the lair and I muffle a laugh. She hears me anyways.
"You try teaching this group of rabble-rousers," she mutters irritably.
"I did," I remind her with another little chuckle. Stepping through the portal, I grind my heels into the familiar floor of the Russo wizard lair. Not much has changed in two years, though Alex has painted the walls in a blur of purple, blur and gold. It's kind of gaudy, but it could be worse, and it does fit her.
Alex rolls her eyes at me, stooping to get another piece of gum stuck under one of the chairs in back. "So, you sent me another delinquent today. Poor kid has absolutely no idea what it means to earn something."
I laugh, replying, "That's what I thought, though I must admit, he reminded me of you."
She stands up abruptly, waving her wand in my face. "Family wizard. Ring a bell?"
I catch her wand in my hand and our fingers brush. I flinch but keep my hand where it is and Alex looks surprised.
"You look like you had a long day," Alex says, reading me in that annoyingly accurate manner. "Feeling inadequate again?"
I pry my fingers off her wand and she slides it into her left boot subconsciously, a habit she's performed many times over the years. When our eyes meet again, Alex looks sympathetic.
Shrugging, I say, "I don't understand why I have to keep all the portraits of the professors of the wall. When you're looking at pictures of people who are hundreds of years old, it makes you feel small in comparison."
"That's why I never visit your office," Alex replies with a tired smirk. "If you feel inadequate, imagine how I would feel."
"I don't think I want to know," I answer, and we both laugh.
Alex's hand touches my cheek out of nowhere and I feel something burn in the pit of my stomach; I get the same reaction every time she touches me, something I haven't experienced with Juliet in a long time.
"Justin," Alex begins in that soft tone she rarely uses with anyone, let alone me. "I know you have this completely ridiculous fear that you'll never be good enough for anyone, which is not true, by the way. But I want you to remember how you studied all those years and proved to everyone that you were capable of being the family wizard. No matter what happens, you always fight back, in your paranoid, Jim Bob Sherwood obsessed way. Just remember that the next time you feel like giving up, because the Justin I remember never gave up."
"That Justin drove you crazy," I say with a little smile, remembering our constant fights and her "panties-in-a-twist" comments. I hate to admit it, but I kind of miss those days. At least I knew what to expect; it was comfortable, routine. And I guess that even with Alex's smart aleck comments I was happy.
"He drives me crazy now," Alex responds with a signature smirk, her fingers still planted against my cheek. "But I guess brothers and sisters have the natural instinct to outsmart each other. We're nothing special, even though you are the Headmaster of Wiztech and I'm secretly plotting to kick your feet out from under you."
"What?"
"Nothing," she says in a lilting voice that means she's up to something. Her laugh rings out again, and I can't help but smile at the joy on her face. Alex has always been so sure of herself, of who she is and I respect her for that. I suppose I respect her for her devlish plots too, because it proves she actually has a brain bigger than a walnut.
"Sure," I reply, dragging out the word. "You know, I thought you were a better liar than this."
Before she can do more than raise an eyebrow - she'd probably already been expecting it; she's always been two steps ahead of me - I lean down and kiss her gently. I can feel horrible guilt the moment our lips touch, guilt for committing an act so illegal, for defiling my sister even further, for sneaking behind my parents back, but I don't pull away. Alex is worth more than any of that.
The moment I pull away, Alex's eyes flutter open and she murmers, "I was waiting for you to do that."
"Was I that obvious?" I respond, touching her cheek once before moving a safe distance away.
She shrugs, "Aren't you always?"
I feel even more guilty once I see the hurt in her eyes, hurt because she knows that I'm not fully committed to this terrible thing between us. We both know that in a few minutes I'll slip back through the portal and curl up in bed with Juliet, pretending like I don't need anything but her.
"I'm sorry," I stutter. "I - I just - well -"
"It's okay," Alex says, forcing the nonchalant mask on her face. "You needed it." I know that's her way of telling me I love you. But with our parents sleeping just upstairs, we can't risk speaking the words we really need to say. So we'll keep playing this game until the end; that way, we can at least have a little piece of each other.
"Thank you," I tell her honestly, smiling and wishing that it wasn't so complicated, that we weren't so screwed up.
"Tell Juliet I said hi," Alex says sarcastically, knowing that I'll never do anything of the sort. My girlfriend would probably flip if she knew I was sneaking out to meet my sister in the middle of the night, then feel hurt that I thought I needed to sneak around.
I don't realize that the weight has lifted off my chest until I'm disappearing through the portal and I see Alex slump into the old arm-chair, tears pooling in her eyes the moment she thinks I'm gone. But it doesn't matter, because a different sort of weight latches onto me, one I can't fix nearly as easily.
I love you too, I think, and then I'm gone. The portal door shuts softly behind me.
..::.:.:::être continué:::.:.::..
..:.:..::...to be continued..::..:.:::.:..
