A/N: Well, it took a while, but here's Brittany's POV…
-H
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee :(
No matter what, she would always be able to find her. No matter how far or close they were, she was always her destination. She was her beginning, her middle, and her end.
She was her purpose.
Brittany Pierce didn't remember much about her life before she met Santana Lopez. Later, she realised that it was because nothing mattered because Santana gave her life meaning. Before Santana, nobody looked twice at her, deeming her too unimportant to spend time with. She used to spend her recess alone on the swings or sitting under a big tree so that no one could see her cry.
The day that Santana Lopez walked into the classroom, seven-year-old Brittany felt her heart flutter. She thought that it felt kind of like a bird had got caught inside her chest which suddenly made her worry about a bird being stuck inside of her.
Brittany was the only one with an empty space beside her because no one wanted to sit next to her.
She watched as the teacher bent down to whisper something in Santana's ear and gestured to Brittany. Santana frowned and walked to her table.
"Hi, Brittany," Santana said with a smile. "I'm Santana."
"Hi," Brittany whispered. She wasn't used to being spoken to by other kids but her parents had told her that not replying was rude.
Santana pulled out the chair and sat down, resting her head on her hands, looking bored. Brittany tried hard to study her math workbook in front of her, but after a while, the numbers started to swim together and her head started to hurt. She grimaced and Santana saw it.
"You stuck?"
Brittany shook her head. She could do maths. It was actually pretty easy. But she always got distracted and then she'd forget to do the work.
"Show me."
Santana pulled her chair close to Brittany's and she thought that the new girl smelled really nice. Like…she smelled like sunshine. Brittany liked the sun.
"You've got all these right," Santana said in surprise.
Brittany shrugged. She was used to people talking to her in those kinds of tones.
"Then why…?" Santana trailed off and frowned at the teacher.
"What?" Brittany asked softly.
Santana turned to look at her and Brittany felt the little bird in her chest flying around, trying desperately to get out. Her eyes were so dark, the darkest she'd ever seen.
"Do you have any friends?" Santana asked.
Brittany sucked her lips in and shook her head. She turned back to her work and wanted to cry at the amount of hurt in her chest. The little bird had stopped fluttering, but now it felt like there was nothing there and Brittany thought that it was worse.
"I'll be your friend," Santana declared.
Brittany looked up and blinked at Santana. The action caused two tears that had been pooling in her eyes to run down her cheeks. Santana's dark eyes looked more chocolate now and she smiled a small smile before lifting her thumb to catch the tears.
"I'm going to be your best friend."
"I think you already are," Brittany whispered.
She was twelve when she had her first kiss. Mike Chang had dance class with her on Wednesdays and one day after they'd finished, he came up and asked her if she wanted to go to a movie that Friday night.
Brittany paused because Friday nights were usually her sleepover nights with Santana and she loved them because she got to cuddle with her best friend and the little bird in her chest really seemed to enjoy it when they did that.
She told Mike that she'd have to think about it and he leaned in to her. Surprised, Brittany turned towards him and his lips met hers instead of, what she figured later was probably a kiss destined for her cheek. She just stood there and let Mike kiss her. He blushed when he pulled away and told her he'd see her at school.
When she told Santana, her best friend's eyes went darker than she'd ever seen them – and she saw them a lot. Before she could say anything, Santana turned from her and ran. She didn't see her again until that Saturday. She didn't go to movies with Mike because she really, really wanted to have a sleepover with Santana.
But when her best friend didn't arrive at her house, she curled up on her bed and cried, the little bird in her chest going very quiet.
When they started high school, Santana told Brittany that they had to keep their relationship a secret. Brittany didn't understand why because she liked Santana and Santana liked her and she liked kissing her.
They joined Cheerios and became popular. But Santana changed. She became mean and Brittany didn't like it. When it was just the two of them, though, she was the Santana that made the little bird fly around in her chest like a crazy thing.
Her best friend told her that she had to act like that because it protected them. Brittany didn't pretend to understand the complicated high school totem pole. As long as she got to dance and be with Santana, she didn't care. If Santana told her that they needed to do something, like join Glee, then Brittany did it without question. Glee actually turned out to be fun and it relaxed Santana so much that she allowed small moments of affection between them and Brittany loved Glee for that.
Santana still kissed Puck and Brittany kissed lots of people. She knew that it didn't mean anything because Santana was still sleeping in her bed, cuddled up to her every night, whispering that she'd never leave her. Those moments made the little bird in her chest fly around excitedly.
Santana's hands on her body set the little bird in her chest free. When she felt that amazing explosion in her stomach, it escaped her chest for a brief moment before resettling. Hearing Santana whisper words of devotion and affection as their naked skin was pressed together was possibly Brittany's favourite thing in the world.
Coach Sue was mean. She laughed at Brittany and said horrible things to her. Even though Santana always made her feel better, Brittany felt like she needed to do something to prove to Coach Sue that she wasn't stupid. Because she wasn't. She really wasn't. The world was just very…distracting.
So when Coach told them to go after Finn Hudson together, she didn't mind so much. But that didn't work, so she thought that if Santana tried to seduce Finn that it would make the both look good.
That was the worst decision Brittany had ever made in her life. When Santana crawled into her bed afterwards, crying, Brittany just turned and held her, the tears that had been streaming down her cheeks all night running into Santana's hair. The little bird had been very quiet.
Brittany was excited for Santana's birthday. She had a weekend trip away planned for them. Just them. They were going to go to the beach spend hours and hours in bed. Just them. No parents, no early morning Cheerios practice, no Glee rehearsals, no Puck or Finn or Sam or Mike or any other boys to pretend with. Just them.
"Brittany?"
She'd just got home from Glee and Santana had given her a wonderful goodbye kiss before driving off with the promise of returning later than evening. Her little bird was very happy.
She skipped into the living room and saw her parents sitting on the sofa.
"Hi! You guys are home early. Santana's coming over later. Is that ok?"
"Brittany, you should tell Santana that she should stay home tonight."
Brittany frowned. "Why?"
Her parents looked at each other and Brittany saw that sympathetic look that Santana hated. It always made her best friend really angry when people looked at Brittany like that.
"Brittany, we have something to tell you," her mom said.
"Ok."
"We're moving to Pennsylvania."
Brittany blinked. Her little bird went very quiet.
"Where am I going?" she asked.
"What do you mean? You're coming with us, of course."
"But what about Santana?"
"Brittany, your relationship with Santana is too intense. You're only sixteen. You need to make other friends."
"I don't have other friends because no one else likes me!" Brittany suddenly shouted. "Santana was the only one who spoke to me. Every one else just pointed and laughed. She…she's everything." She whispered the last part.
"Exactly the point, Brittany. We feel that your relationship has become…unhealthy."
Brittany frowned. Nothing about Santana was unhealthy. She breathed life into her. She was her reason to get up every morning. The little bird protested in her chest, demanding that she do something.
"I love her." It was the first time she'd said it out loud.
"And that's why we're moving."
"Why can't I love her?"
"It's…Brittany, you can't have a future with someone like Santana."
But Brittany knew they were wrong. Santana was completely her future. No matter where she was, Santana would be there. Her little bird knew that as much as she did.
No matter what, she would always be able to find her. No matter how far or close they were, she was always her destination. She was her beginning, her middle, and her end.
She was her purpose.
Brittany hated Pennsylvania. She knew Santana hated it too. Her best friend looked sad every time they Skyped and her emails and texts were lacking the energy she knew Santana always woke up with. Her little bird was very sad too.
Brittany's new school was ok. She became a cheerleader and joined their Glee Club too, hoping that the common activities might take her to Santana at some point.
She asked her parents if she could visit her over winter break, but they said no. They told her that she needed to forget Santana and make her new life in Pennsylvania. Brittany refused.
"I will never forget her."
So her parents took away her phone and disconnected her internet. Brittany was devastated. She had no way to even tell her best friend what had happened. Santana was going to think that she'd deserted her when in fact all she wanted was to be right next to her, touching her, holding her, kissing her, whispering in her ear how much she loved her and would never ever leave her.
She couldn't remember Santana's number, no matter how hard she wracked her brain. She went to bed every night, sobbing her eyes out because she just wanted the little bird to fly out of her chest and go and find Santana and tell her that she loved her. But the little bird stayed put, fluttering every now and then but staying generally quiet.
No matter what, she would always be able to find her. No matter how far or close they were, she was always her destination. She was her beginning, her middle, and her end.
She was her purpose.
Brittany's Glee Club didn't get to Nationals, but she knew that New Directions had and Santana had apparently had a solo. She wished so, so much that she'd been there to see it. Her parents weren't budging on giving her phone back so Brittany thought long and hard about what her options were.
Number one, she needed to go to college as far away from her parents as possible so that she could find Santana. Where would Santana have gone? She wouldn't stay in Lima. She'd always said that they were gonna get out, but they'd never mentioned where. Would it be in New York? LA? Would she come and find her? What if Santana came to Pennsylvania and she was gone? What if…she'd forgotten her?
No.
No.
They were everything. Brittany and Santana. She believed that with her whole heart. Every now and then, the little bird in her chest flew around a little to remind her.
Brittany worked harder than she'd ever worked in her life. Her cheer coach was actually quite nice – a lot nicer than Coach Sue – and offered her cheer scholarships to different colleges. Her first thought was whether Santana would go to college, and if she did, would she pick any of the places that Brittany had been accepted to?
She had a dream where her little bird escaped through her belly button and Brittany followed it, running down road after road after road. Eventually she found it sitting on a bench in a big park. Brittany walked around, the bird perched on her shoulder. She came to the edge of the park and looked up to see the Empire State Building. She remembered it because Santana had shown her a picture of it for a project they'd done in middle school.
She woke up the next morning and looked at the schools in New York. The bird was back in her chest and fluttering around happily.
New York wasn't what Brittany had been expecting. She was majoring in dance and trying to shuffle her cheerleading schedule around rehearsals and gym. The programme was incredibly demanding and all Brittany thought about when she got back to her dorm was falling into bed. The little bird in her chest was not happy, but Brittany knew that she had to keep up her grades if she wanted to stay in New York and keep her scholarship. The scholarship was the only reason her parents had let her even go to college out of state.
She heard Santana's song quite by accident. One of her classmates was playing it on their phone and Brittany froze when she heard the familiar, sultry, smoky voice of her best friend. The little bird went crazy and Brittany smiled. How would she find her?
Life threw Brittany a curve ball that she wasn't expecting. Her group of dancers were asked to put together a piece for a showcase. But the showcase was in LA. Brittany knew that she was at a crossroads. She could go to LA and lose more time with Santana or she could stay in New York and lose her scholarship, which meant that she'd have to go back to Pennsylvania anyway.
Her little bird wasn't happy and stubbornly remained very still for the nine months that Brittany spent in LA with her group.
No matter what, she would always be able to find her. No matter how far or close they were, she was always her destination. She was her beginning, her middle, and her end.
She was her purpose.
She returned to New York and her first order of business was to get a phone. The whole troupe had been paid pretty well and now Brittany could afford a phone and internet and all that stuff.
Her little bird fluttered around like crazy and it made the blonde smile. She was going to find her Santana. She downloaded her song that she'd sung with Tony Bennett. Tony Bennett! Brittany remembered her best friend going through his music many times for Glee assignments. She bought a laptop and immediately logged onto the wireless network in her dorms. Santana had an album coming out. Brittany grinned widely. She was so happy that her best friend was sharing her beautiful voice with the world.
She was having a big birthday party in two weeks. The little bird flew excitedly around in her chest and Brittany agreed. She was going to do whatever she had to, to get an invitation to that party.
No matter what, she would always be able to find her. No matter how far or close they were, she was always her destination. She was her beginning, her middle, and her end.
She was her purpose.
There she was. She was beautiful. She was breathtaking. Brittany held her breath and just watched her for a few moments, taking in the reality that Santana was standing a few feet away from her, staring out at the New York skyline.
The little bird flew around furiously and Brittany listened to him. She did more often these days. He seemed to know exactly what she needed. She stopped a foot away.
"Santana."
Her best friend seemed to have heard her, but didn't turn around. Brittany swallowed and raised her shaking hands to Santana's bare back, lightly caressing the soft skin she'd missed so much. Santana started to turn around and the little bird went into overdrive. Her eyes were closed and Brittany just stared at her. She was so beautiful. She really, really wanted to kiss her.
So she did.
Santana responded, but Brittany kept it quick, wanting more than anything to look into those dark eyes that reached into her soul and encased her heart, keeping it safe and warm.
"San, open your eyes."
And there they were. Those beautiful orbs that showed surprise, happiness, suspicion and above all, love. Brittany smiled.
"Is this real?"
She nodded and leaned down to kiss her cheek. "I found you. I'm sorry that it took me so long."
No matter what, she would always be able to find her. No matter how far or close they were, she was always her destination. She was her beginning, her middle, and her end.
She was her purpose.
Later that night, they were lying naked in Santana's bed, bodies completely entwined when Santana turned her head to rest her lips on Brittany's forehead.
"How did you find me?"
Brittany smiled. "A little bird told me."
A/N: And there we go…not as angsty as Santana's POV, but anything keeping this perfect couple apart is heart wrenching for me.
Sixpence None The Riches' Don't Dream It's Over was playing as I wrote the end of this. Pretty fitting methinks.
What did you think?
-H
