par après avs yeux

- a jalex story-

a/n: This chapter was difficult for me to write, not because I am not interested in this story, but because I had to piece the bridge from the realization of the curse to the action they will take perfectly, otherwise I won't get the emotion or reasons in right and you as the readers will find the eventual conclusion mediocre compared to how it could be. So, I apologize and hope you all enjoy this. Reviews are ever welcome (:


chapter five - alex


Je sais bien que je fuis de mais que je ne suis pas dans la recherche de.

I know well what I am fleeing from but not what I am in search of. - Michel de Montaigne


Justin's fingers are clenching around mine, little pulses that make me fear for his sanity. Then I am filled with irritation.

"Stop trying to have a heart attack," I snap, clutching his hand a little tighter to keep him from going off the deep end. His touch helps to calm the frantic edge to my nerves, a fear that I'll lose the little moments like these.

Justin gulps and looks down at me. "You would be too if -" he pauses, seeming to remember that I'm going through this too.

"And he remembers the predicament we're in," I respond sarcastically. "Bravo." My feet come to a halt then and I stare blankly up at the second story of the Waverly Sub-station, picturing the rugged condition of my sheets and wondering how many nights I'll be allowed to lie there before my memory deserts me.

I untangle my fingers from his and Justin hisses under his breath.

"Are you at all worried about losing this?" he asks, practically hyperventilating as he gestures between the two of us.

How stupid my brother is at times, I think, giving him a look that means "shut up, idiot." Here we are, stuck back in our childhood with the entire Council against our decision and he's brazen enough to talk about us as though we're exchanging pleasantries over tea-cups. Of course I'm worried about losing you. I touch his cheek, shivering as a gust of wind rips its way through the dimly lit streets. I'm just not stupid enough to show it.

Instead of baring my heart, I shrug my shoulders loosely and say, "Well, at least you've got a back-up plan in case anything happens." Gesturing to his back pocket where his engagement band rests, I feel a hint of anger burning in my gut and wish that I wasn't so emotionally tangled in things. While I love my brother, seeing him talk about Juliet like she's the brightest light of his existance, knowing that back where we're from he's slept with her too many times to counter, well, it hurts. Plus, it's not illegal for him to love her.

"Don't do this," Justin mutters, trying to touch me.

I skitter back, avoiding his gaze. "Do what?" I ask, flicking my eyes up and cocking back my shoulders.

I shouldn't play these games, shouldn't do this to him. But he's willing to do it to you, my thoughts whisper venemously. And besides, I've always been known for running, and, armed with the knowledge that saying the wrong thing is likely to kill Justin, I'll play games. I'll do whatever it takes, because I've always been the strongest link in our family, even if no one could believe it.

Justin sighs and touches my arm. I allow it.

"Let's just go inside," he mumbles, heading towards the door.

"Um," I begin with a guilty look, "you might want to prepare a speech of sorts, considering Mom was expecting us to be at school today. I'll get off the hook like I normally do; truancy is already a permanent black stain on my record. But you might be in for a little fun." Flipping my hair over my right shoulder, I follow him up the stairs and into the sub station.

"You think Mr. Laritate called her?" Justin wonders, looking back at me.

I gesture towards the counter where our mom is taking orders and say, "There's your answer." In that moment, Mom spots us and her eyes darken furiously. We're in for a hell of a rant later, I think to myself as I reach for one of the sugar tubs on the closest table. The sweetness tastes wonderful and I smack my lips, content for the time being.

"Do you have any idea how bad that is for you?" Justin grumbles, snatching the clear tub from between my hands.

Flashing him a glare, I stand up and grab it back, responding with, "Does it look like I care? You can work out for the both of us."

He rolls his eyes. "I don't think it works like that, Alex."

At that moment, Dad joins Mom against the edge of the counter and they both commence shooting us murderous glares.

"Oh man," Justin starts to fret like the dork he is. "This is going to tank my chances of honor roll."

"Relax dude. I think your GPA is safe." I pat his arm reassuringly and begin my way towards our parents. "If anything, Mr. Laritate finally decided to expel me. Wouldn't be the first time."

"Wait, you've been expelled before?" Justin asks, his voice raising two notches.

My shoulders rise up and down several times before I reply, "Yeah, but he can't bear to have the halls silent for long. I spice up the school and probably save him from abysmal depression."

"Alexandra Margarita Russo," Mom hisses.

"Man, I'm in for it this time," I mumble half-heartedly, waving my hands as I continue towards our parents. "She used my full name."

"I hope she doesn't call my -" Justin begins.

"Justin Vincenzo Pepe Russo!"

Justin groans and I watch several customers turn from their questionably meatless subs to find the source of the booming voice. Figuring it best to hustle a bit, I tug my brother along behind me by the wrist and we soon reach our parents.

"You called?" I ask them with an innocent smile I've perfected, hoping that we won't be stuck here too long. Justin has books to cross-reference and I have sleep to catch up on after I pretend to study. Justin whimpers behind me, the studious wuss.

Mom thrusts us both into the back of the shop by the door to the wizard lair and fixes us with a dangerous look, asking slowly, "Would either of you care to explain why you didn't show up for school?"

"You know teenagers," I start.

The look on my mother's face stops me cold. God, the woman can be really intimidating sometimes.

"Alex, I'd like to say I'm surprised by your behavior," Mom continues in her deadliest voice, "but I'd be kidding myself. Professor Laritate -"

"Mom," I interrupt, sinking back against the wall, "his name is Mr. Laritate. No need to suck up unless you're at a parent-teacher conference."

"Would you stop talking?" Mom snaps and all three of us cower back. "I would have thought you'd be with Mason, but he's been calling all afternoon. Apparently you cancelled your date with him and he's worried sick."

I groan, covering my face with my left hand. Great, now I get to deal with a whimpering boyfriend on top of the rest of the potentially life-threatening mess Justin and I are in. Fantastic.

"Finally, an appropriate reaction," Mom replies, shaking her head. "Do you want to fail out of high school, Alex? Is that really want you want?"

I find it prudent not to answer, save sagging my neck in a repentant manner.

"And Justin." Mom's voice sounds actually disappointed now, like she's heart-broken her favorite child would be truant one day in his entire life. "I thought you cared about your grades. You told me that you wanted to be on the honor roll, but if you keep this up -"

"I'm sorry, Mom," Justin whimpers, and I hear the catch in his voice that means he's about to confess the truth. Time for me to fabricate something good.

"There was a Wizard Fair on Neptune," I say, smiling believably. "I really wanted to go and Justin told me that I couldn't just abandon my responsibilities. But, I mean, c'mon. Wizard Fair, people." No one grins back at me and I sigh.

"I wasn't aware of any Wizard Fair," Dad says, finally speaking up. By the way that he's huddled into the wall, I suspect he wishes he was anywhere but here right now. He's never liked confrontations.

"Well, there was," I insist, stretching out a hand vehemently. "But I mean, obviously, I found a way to get stranded and I had to call Justin to help me. The only reason he missed school was to help his little sister like the amazing wizard he is." The look in Justin's eyes is worth the awkwardness it took to say those words. I'll never be good at complimenting people, but for him I'll try.

"Oh." Mom's face lightens a little bit and I sigh in relief. She believes me. "Justin, is this true?"

"Um, uh, yeah," Justin stutters, exhaling as Mom throws herself into his arms.

The little hero, I think to myself, heading into the wizard lair. Dad's eyes watch me go, but he doesn't say anything and it makes me love him all the more. I miss the father from my future, the one who finally accepted me for who I am and tries to spend father-daughter time with me, not this man who is caught between expectations, love and fear of what will become of us once the wizard competition hits. I miss the mom who invites me over for dinner every Thursday evening, yet understands that I need my space.

Max is sitting in one of the chairs in the wizard lair when I enter and I watch him try to change a brick back into a dove with a little smile on my face.

"Hey, Alex," Max speaks up a second later, face lighting up as I peel off the wall and step further into the lair.

"And here I thought I was here to escape from you," I joke, pulling him into a hug and running my hand through his curly hair.

"But," Max starts, frowning as he looks at me, "you haven't seen me in awhile. Is my new cologne smell too irresistable for you?" He sniffs his armpits and I roll my eyes.

"You just keep working on that, Maxie," I tell him, my smile widening with his. I realize only now how much more serious he has gotten through the years and am relieved to see the sadness absent from these brown eyes. It will be there soon enough and I want to prevent it so badly.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Max asks, tilting his head to the side.

Because I love seeing you happy, I think. Just thinking such mushy words has me cringing.

"Just distracting you," I say instead, pulling the ten-dollar bill out of his back pocket and waving it in front of him victoriously. "If Mom or Dad asks, tell them that I went to apologize to Mason and make our date up to them."

"Are you really going on a date with Mason?" Max asks suspiciously.

"Smart one," I give him, heading towards the portal. "Maybe I will. Maybe I won't. I tend to get lost really easily."

I'm through the blinding white portal before Max can begin to make sense of the statement.


There aren't many people on the streets in the Magic Realm for whatever reason. The sun is just beginning to dip behind the mountains here - the time is a little behind that of the mortal realm, often confusing people who travel back and forth frequently - and it casts a ghoulish, orange edged shadow across the city. Normally I don't visit the Capital of Magic, for two reasons: 1) The name of the capital is Demeurer, or, Remain; which basically means that the Council is caught up in past rules and policies and refuses to consider new possibilities, plus they're ancient, and 2) People here are way too smart and instinctively don't like me.

The inhabitants of Demeurer all seem to be watching some magical broadcast or something - why else would they be inside, unless they're couch potatoes too - and I find it a relief not to have to worry about running into anyone. I find myself glancing over the design of the houses lining the wide street. Magic has wonderful capabilities and the citizens here are allowed to decorate their homes according to their personal preferences. One home looks like a Greek temple and another resembles a barn. A third looks like the modern mortal home. But appearances are decieving and I would bet that the interior of these homes all look the same.

The house I am looking for is three rows in on the right and the last house down, folded somewhat into the side of a rolling green hill. The lawn is trimmed to perfection and there are several statues decorating the front, but nothing huge. The outside is painted a pale cream color and I feel like I've entered Anne of Green Gables.

I knock on the door, some part of me wondering if I have the wrong address. But I know I don't. This house looks too close to what I pictured.

"Alex Russo?" Professor Crumbs peers around the edge of the doorway and I resist the urge to snort as I take in his fuzzy maroon robe and palm-tree patterned slippers. He would be wearing something like this.

"I'm sorry for barging in," actually I'm not, "but I needed to ask you something." I gaze up at him expectantly, watching him stroke his beard as he thinks.

At last Crumbs nods and beckons me inside. "Would you care for a cup of Dragonberry tea?" he asks.

"Will it kill me?" I respond, arching an eyebrow. You never know what these magical drinks contain.

Professor Crumbs chuckles in that way old people do when speaking to younger generations and says, "I do not believe so. Take a seat, Miss Russo." He gestures to the cream couch in front of us and the moment I sit down he disappears into the kitchen.

The living room looks the same as the outside of the house: well-kept, not a speck of dust on the white carpet. I can see a Helping Hand burrowing into it's nest in the wall, probably returning from cleaning up one mess or another. The glass table in front of me is so shiny I can make out my reflection perfectly. Ew, when did I get a pimple in between my eyes? Ignore the pimple, just ignore it. Reaching into the satchel I stole from the wizard lair - it was probably just one of Justin's many school bags - I pull out the spell book I found the ancient curse in and run my finger over the print slowly. "Should they refuse to do so, their powers will be stripped and their identities lost."

"You are reading a book?" Professor Crumbs asks as he re-enters the room and sets a tea-cup filled with a purplish brown substance in front of me. He looks so shocked that I want to burst out laughing.

"I do believe so," I tell him, turning his own words back at him. "So, about that favor -"

"Take a sip of your tea," Professor Crumbs interrupts. "Should I call my personal massage assistant? Your shoulders look tense." His eyes probe me and I recoil uneasily, never having liked the way he'd see right through my defenses. He does it with all of his students.

I take a sip of tea and let the expression bleed from my face, leaving me peaceful for just a second. The taste of berries and something sharp settles on my tongue, something not quite wonderful but not horrible either. I wonder what ingredients are really in this tea and decide that I don't really want to know. Suddenly, Professor Crumbs' attention shifts to the dusty book probably dirtying his couch and his eyes widen microscopically.

"Why is it that you are in possession of an ancient spell-book?" he asks, smiling and reaching out for it. "I have not seen one of these for generations, literally." A chuckle shakes his frail frame.

I decide that "I'm from the future and was sucked back here because I had sex with Justin, whom I am in love with" should probably not be shared. There must be other reasons one would be carrying around an ancient spell-book.

"Well," I begin, hoping that my tongue is sharp as ever, "I happened to run into it at one of the libraries in the mortal world and just had to get it away from there. While I was walking away from the library, I started to get curious and opened the book and I must say, I was rendered speechless. These spells are so incredibly complex and powerful."

Professor Crumbs looks horrified. "What is an ancient spell-book doing in a mortal's library? Thank you for retrieving it, Miss Russo. The Wizarding World thanks you for your bravery."

"Yeah, yeah," I reply. "I was - I wondered if there was any way to reverse these spells. What if they were activated accidentally, or - or something went wrong. Is there any way to reverse the effects of the spells?" It takes a second to realize that I'm not breathing.

"Well," Professor Crumbs responds slowly, taking another sip of his tea, "there is one way, but it isn't perfect. Many cases are never reversed and while I find it saddening to see people lose their lives in such a manner, it does protect everything the Council has striven for."

Taking another sip of tea, I try to still my trembling. "How do you reverse the spells?" I ask again.

"It would require an act of complete selflessness, a sacrifice so great that it alters the lives of those who activated the original spell drastically," Professor Crumbs says, eyes drifting off in memories. "Sometimes it works. However, other times the result of the sacrifice ends in much the same way the spell promises: broken memories, loss of identity and magic. Truly tragic, it is." He almost looks sad as he speaks, as though he knows the pain these spells cause.

"So, it could work?" I try and confirm, pleading that he is right, that perhaps Justin and I have a way to right things.

"It could," Professor Crumbs admits, setting down his tea-cup with shaking fingers. His face suddenly looks very pale. "Miss Russo, I am afraid that I must usher you out for the evening. I have a Council meeting to attend and I cannot be late again. They are threatening to take away my tennis privileges."

I smile, "Sure thing. Thank you." Swinging the satchel over my head and sliding the book back inside of it, I head for the door, probably tracking more dirt across the spotless carpet.

Professor Crumbs doesn't move from his position on the couch and, with a little frown at his puzzling behavior, I exit. One of the Helping Hands closes the door behind me.


The breeze feels nice against my face as I walk across the quiet street leading towards Waverly Place. I don't bother using the crosswalk here unless traffic is crazy and threatens to run me over like road-kill, considering the crosswalk isn't for another block, up at the signal on Parker Ln. A car switches to its high beams for a moment as it draws near me while heading up the street and I flip them off, refusing to move faster. I can practically see the driver frowning at me as I step up on the curb but I don't really care.

The darkness nearly swallows me whole as I make my way towards the little bake shop on the corner. I'm in the mood for something sweet, not to mention that I haven't eaten since yesterday, other than dumping straight sugar down my throat earlier. A little lump squeezes its way into my throat as I notice a couple walking past me, their hands linked and swinging back and forth. They are both smiling and she laughs at something he says.

I swallow, hard. "Are you at all worried about losing this?" Of course I am. Then I take a few more steps and enter Mario's Bake Shop. The scent of fresh cinnamon rolls fills my nostrils and I inhale happily, knowing that I'll have to buy half a dozen to take back to the sub-station. If Justin's still awake, I might let him have my left-overs.

"Where have you been?"

I turn to meet Mason's wide eyes and wrap my arms around him without thinking, needing the warm contact. I miss the days where I used to be able to love him for who he was, the days before he transformed into a narcissistic jerk who thrived off putting me down. I miss his hugs and his kisses, miss him so much it hurts. But I don't regret breaking up with him. Of course, there's the little problem of me dating him right now, but I'll just have to go with it.

"I'm sorry," I mumble, forcing guilt onto my face. "I just had a - erm - friend emergency."

Mason looks suspicious when he says, "Your parents had no idea where you were."

"I was in the Wizarding World," I whisper into his ear.

"Oh." His hands tighten around my waist and I look back at the empty line and the expectant cashier sadly, wishing that I could just get my food and go. "Well, do you want to make it up to me right now?" His eyes look so hopeful and I hate to crush him.

"I can't," I say, watching his face fall. "Got to pick up some stuff and bring it back to my - um - sick friend."

"What is your friend sick with?" Mason asks and I know he's trying to get me to confess.

You should know me better than this, I think wistfully.

"Dragon-pox," I say, matter of fact. "So, I um, should get my order I guess."

"Yeah," he mumbles, lips pressing against my cheek. "Whatever."

When I turn back around to apologize, he's gone.


"There you are." Justin sounds worried and I don't blame him.

"I know," I mutter, knowing that I look wearier than I should. "Turn around."

"Why should I - oh," he says, flushing as I begin peeling off my shirt. For a second, he looks like he wants to rip the rest of my clothes off himself but then he decides otherwise and shifts over until his face is burrowed into the pillows.

My eyes flit about his room as I strip off my sweaty clothes and deposit them in the dirty clothes bin by the edge of his closet. Grabbing one of his t-shirts that reads Brain-o-meter = Exploded on the front, I tug it on and hope that my brother doesn't notice how it clings to my body in the most intimate places. If Justin was hoping to get it on tonight, he'll be disappointed. I'm so tired I could probably hiberate for a good month.

"You look sexy," Justin says when I slide into his bed beside him.

"Try again," I respond, looking around his room again. I've missed being able to come in here and steal some of his precious wall decorations and mementos stored in boxes under his bed. At least Mom had given him permission to paint the room silver or I think I would have gone insane with the boring nature of it all.

His eyes study me kindly and I lose myself in their gray depths, feeling my own eyes blur with tears. I'm scared, Justin. I don't want to lose you.

"You look beautiful," he whispers after a moment, his tone so sweet I nearly break down right there. His fingers skim down my matted hair and brush my cheek lightly.

"I meant to bring you home a cinnamon roll, but I needed the extra sugar rush," I admit, smiling as his fingers brush my collarbone.

He shrugs, eyes drooping with exhaustion and murmers, "It's the thought that counts, especially with you."

I twine our fingers together under the blankets as my lips meet his softly. Our mouths brush cautiously and I remember the sensations of making love in my bed, of looking at him and knowing that I could spend the rest of my life with this man, if society would only permit it. One tear skims down my cheek.

"I love you too," Justin breathes when I pull back.

I ruffle his hair affectionately, laughing to myself when he reaches up to flatten it back. His eyes slowly close again and as I watch him drift off to sleep I begin to cry silently. Tears drip down my cheeks and dot the sheets, proof how much I hate the position we're in. I'll fight for us until the day I can't even remember who I am, I think, shifting until my head is burrowing against his chest.

I just hope that it is enough.


..::.:.:::être continué:::.:.::..

..:.:..::...to be continued..::..:.:::.:..