par après avs yeux
- a jalex story-
a/n: I am determined to finish this story. I know that I haven't been updating very frequently and I apologize. Life just consumes me sometimes and I realize afterwards that I'm behind on this. So sorry. Oh, if you get notices in your email saying that I've updated the story many times, it is simply me correcting some issues with the earlier chapters. But it shouldn't stop you from reading :) Reviews are always welcome!
chapter seven – alex
Je ne sais pas qui est pire, l'être le l'un avec le coeur cassé,
Ou l'être la personne qui casse les coeurs.
I don't know which is worse, being the one with the broken heart,
or being the person that breaks the hearts.
"Can you stop holding my hand so tightly?" Justin complains.
I untangle my fingers from his and give him a glare. "Excuse me for being a little worked up," I growl, charging on ahead. "If we don't get to the Metro station in time then we'll never be able to set this right."
His eyes meet mine, serious and deep in thought. He's stewing over some aspect of our predicament again, for the millionth time. Every time I turn around he's probing some part of the spell or giving me a cautious look every time we slide into bed together and huddle close. Obviously, he's trying to be his typical Justin-y self, but here, that's practically impossible.
"Is this the right thing?" Justin asks me.
I ignore the question, wrapping my hand around his wrist and pulling him along faster. He's dragging his feet and we don't have time for this. If he were bringing up anything else, even our illicit relationship, then I might cooperate. But the fact that he's probably thinking about giving Max the short end of the stick again is just not okay.
"Max always comes in last," I shoot back, my eyes burning with something I can't place. "Tell me something, and be honest. Will you be able to look into his eyes when we get back to our time and tell him that we forfeited his happiness for ours?"
His eyes are scorching holes in the back of my head, but I'm too focused on rounding the next bend and taking the stairs to the platform where a battered Metro bus sits waiting. Smoke pours from the pipe in the back of the bus, congesting the air and making my brother cough.
"We don't even know if we'll get back to our time," Justin says at last.
"Say we do," I respond, rolling my eyes. Sometimes my brother just gets on my nerves, what with his technical side and ideas about morality. It wouldn't surprise me to find the 1000 Morality Commandments for Dummies stored somewhere in the back of his cranium, if such a thing exists.
Justin says nothing and I quickly forget our conversation as I notice the last stragglers boarding the bus. "We've got to hurry," I snap at my brother, sprinkling the magic dust over us and waiting for it to take effect before creeping closer.
"Do you have any money?" Justin asks.
I reach behind me and smack his cheek just hard enough to leave a bruise.
"Why would we be invisible if I planned on paying?" I reply in a dark tone, taking hold of his hand once more and knotting our fingers together. I could lie and say that I was only holding his hand to make sure the dork didn't get lost, but I'd be lying.
"Would it kill you to follow the rules once in awhile?" Justin mumbles, probably hoping I won't hear it. He's so stupid it's adorable.
I lead him up to the shivering doors and wait for a lady carrying two toddlers to board before sneaking on with Justin in tow. Instantly my eyes shoot about, looking for an alcove or corner where the two of us can stand, preferably a place where no one will lean against us and freak out. I find it in the front, a crevice in front of the first row no one ever sits in – considering the bench has a layer of dust probably an inch thick by now – and behind the driver's chair. Sinking down, I shake out my legs and sigh gratefully.
"Do you see Jocelyn?" I whisper into Justin's ear. He cranes his neck around and looks behind us. A second later he nods.
"They're four rows back, to the right. You can probably see them if you twist around like this," he whispers back, squeezing my hand.
I shrug, looking towards the back for the heck of it. Jocelyn is sitting there with her worn satchel in her lap, a grim smile about her face. Seconds later, the familiar face of one of my students plops down beside her and Jocelyn relaxes visibly. "That still freaks me out," I mutter to Justin, "seeing one of my delinquents right there."
"Technically you're still a delinquent right now," Justin says, looking at me with soft eyes. My fingertips brush his cheek of their own accord.
"You never answered my question," I whisper, shifting until I can rest my head on his shoulder.
Justin says nothing, the silence saying more than any explanation he could have thought up.
I shift again, unable to get comfortable. Then I frown as I feel something crinkle in my clenched hand. Unfurling my fingers, I swallow hard and give the newest post-it-note on my palm a frustrated glance.
Do what you must to resolve your relationship with Mason, or Justin will start losing his memory.
If the Council members knew this situation, would they try and counter-act the spell? Because if not, they're seriously stupid threatening the memories of the future President of Wiz-tech. Part of wants to bring this up to Professor Crumbs and the rest of the Council, but I know, deep inside, that it will change nothing. If anything, the Council members would strive to keep Justin and I secluded from the world and each other until we agreed to let go of these treacherous feelings.
I never thought I would actually be afraid of Professor Crumbs, yet here I am, shivering like a frost-bitten leaf. How pathetic, I think to myself, smiling as Justin rests his head on mine. He makes a little sleepy noise and though we've only been seated for a few minutes, it seems that my brother is already prepared to crash.
My thumb rubs absentmindedly against the blue surface of the post-it note and I flip it over without any real reason why. It's probably a good thing I did. Roughly, my heart pounds in my chest and I refuse to look at my brother's reflection in the window.
Don't tell Justin.
Just break his heart.
The ride to the station we're looking for takes about an hour and a half, what with all the stops at subsequent stops and passenger issues. The whole time I am clenching the seat to my left, tearing away at the flattened chartreuse padding with no remorse. If God so happened to love this one bench, might He smite me now. Justin gives me curious little looks blended with a smile meant to ease my anxiety every two minutes. Normally I would love to see my brother care, but right now I'm too nervous and his smile reminds me of nothing but what I'm going to have to do to him later.
Finally, the bus pulls into the Forest Glen station and I flash a tense look out the window, sighing when I see the crowds of people. Why – of all days – does it have to be busy now?
"Is this us?" Justin asks, his eyes following Jocelyn and Freddie as they get up from their seats and shuffle towards the opening doors. I squeeze his hand in response, rising to my feet and dusting off my jeans. Resisting the urge to shove aside an elderly couple trying to board the bus before they should, Justin and I slip through the doors of the bus and begin to weave through the crowds of frenzied people.
"Stop feeling guilty," I mumble to Justin, watching as the boarding passengers swipe their cards to deposit the payment before finding their seats.
"But we cheated them out of money," Justin whimpers.
"Yeah, and we could potentially lose our memories any day," I hiss harshly, wincing as his hand quivers in mine. "I'm sorry. I'm being harsh. It's just – try and rearrange your priorities for a few days."
He says nothing and I feel guiltier than usual. But I am quick to shove the emotions into the farthest reaches of my heart, focusing instead on the impressive architecture displayed in the skyscrapers right in front of our eyes. They stretch along for miles, common here in the heart of the city. It's amazing just how majestic the structures are, especially when combined with waving streamers, balloons swelling in the cloud dotted-skies and the sunlight playing a pattern against the thousands of glass windows. Somewhere in the distance, Here Comes The Sun wafts along, Paul McCartney's voice reverberating beautifully.
"Aren't we supposed to be following them?" Justin asks, pointing towards Jocelyn and Freddie, who are disappearing down the side alley to the left, towards the net-work of side streets leading to Demeurer.
"Right," I say, willing my legs to stop wiggling in response to the song. "Sorry." Hurrying along, I tug Justin behind me as though he's the one lagging. Honestly, I'm tired of chasing after people. I'd like to just collapse on the couch in our parent's apartment with a bowl of popcorn.
Suddenly the pair stops. Freddie reaches into his pocket and fishes out his phone.
"I'll meet up with you," he tells his sister.
Jocelyn shrugs, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear as though she's not concerned about today. But her arm is shaking. She's terribly nervous. "I'll wait over there," she says, pointing to a hot dog stand by the entrance to a slim alley thirty feet away.
Freddie presses the phone against his ear, "Hello?" His eyes dart about cautiously.
"We should go," Justin says, pulling on my hand. "Let's wait by Jocelyn so we don't lose her."
"No," I mumble, glancing at Freddie. "I want to hear this."
Justin looks at me for a long moment, reading something in my eyes that must reassure him I genuinely want to listen in, and nods. "No pranks," he mutters as an afterthought.
I roll my eyes.
"Hey, hey," Freddie says into the phone, his face and voice softening. "You don't have to worry. It's all planned out, okay? I'll be home later." There is a pause. "Shh, you won't have to worry about that after Joce and I are done. Look, I've got to go." He listens to the person on the other end for a minute, smiling. "I love you too, Lisa."
He hangs up, a shadow of guilt hanging over his face. Then he makes his way over to his sister.
"Probably his mom or something," Justin says, placing a hand on the small of my back and guiding me towards the hot dog stand. Freddie has reached his sister and the two of them are talking. She stretches up and hugs him, her expression serious, sad.
"Probably," I say, somehow doubting that it was Freddie and Jocelyn's mom. Why would he call his mother Lisa, unless she'd only married into the family?
Jocelyn wraps her arms around her brother and they head into the alleyway beside the hot dog stand, the shadows swallowing them whole. I follow them, still mulling the phone call over in my head.
You would think that you'd have to a complicated magic spell or something to get into Demeurer, but that isn't the case. The passage to get to the entrance is longer than anything. Heart thundering, I hurry after Jocelyn and Freddie and double-check to make sure Justin and I are still invisible before entering the thin alley. The Council must have been watching Harry Potter when they ordered these alleys to be constructed, I think with a little smirk. The first alley swallows one up, and we make a right, taking three stairs down that lead to an abrupt left. Dark brick walls surround us, some sprayed with various gang symbols and others falling out, leaving dusty gaps in the walls. Every second the space between the buildings disappears and by the time the four of us reach a T-shaped spot in the network of alleyways, only a few twinkling rays of light are still visible. Jocelyn and Freddie make a right and I follow them, still holding Justin's hand. He's sweating like an elephant and I wrinkle my nose, fingers playing with his.
Like I said, it isn't all that hard to get into Demeurer. I'd say that we're going to be exposed one of these days, but the Council isn't that stupid. These alleys are only visible to magical beings. The first alley exists, but to mortals, it ends in a threatening brick wall splattered with someone's trash.
Squeezing my way around the last corner, I watch Demeurer unfold around us with glittering sunlight and perfectly unblemished streets. There isn't even a door. You just round the corner and walk right into the magical realm. They used to use an elevator system, but apparently it was getting too backed up and wizards that fund the programs around here were starting to complain. Now it's neat, perfect, calculating. Just like the Council, I think grimly.
Suddenly, Jocelyn and Freddie make a right and start heading in the opposite direction as the old power transfer room thing. My brow furrows.
"What are they doing?" I half-ask my brother, more directing the question to myself. "Where are they going? The building is over there." Pointing to the left, I give Justin a puzzled look.
"There must be something special about this transfer," Justin mumbles to himself.
Suddenly, it hits me. Justin's eyes flash a second later in frustration and he turns to me, growing worried at the expression on my face.
I remember now, the conversation we had with Max the night everything went wrong. The day that Freddie spoke to Justin, he said that he was failing and Justin put him in my delinquent class. He'd failed out of delinquent class several months after starting – even I had a limit as to how much I could tolerate, surprisingly – and I'd thought nothing of it until Max had mentioned Freddie being Jocelyn's brother.
"When you looked up Freddie's grades," I whisper, "what did you find?"
"Straight A's," Justin admits, trying to grab my hand. I pull it away, trembling.
So that's what he's doing, I think, pride rushing through me. All those months in my class when Freddie had finished his tests and spells faster than anyone else, only to fail perfectly; it had all been a lie. He'd been planning this for a long time, planning to fail.
"He's purposely giving up his powers for his sister," I say, the words echoing.
"But, that doesn't make sense," Justin starts.
But it does.
"Of course it does," I reply, wondering why my voice is so soft. "Max said that magic is the only thing Jocelyn can really be sure of. It's all she has other than Freddie and he can't always be around her." Hesitating for a second, I think of Freddie's phone call. "Lisa isn't Freddie's mom. He wouldn't call her that. I think, I think," I pause to swallow, "I think she's a mortal. He's in love with a mortal."
"But that doesn't –" Justin begins again, words coming into a halt as he really thinks about it. He knows that I'm right and part of him doesn't want to admit it. Instead of saying that my conclusion is right, he asks, "Where did they go?"
I whirl about and look to the right, heart shriveling in my chest. "We've got to stop it," I cry, feeling something off about my words. "If she's a full wizard, Max can't be with her. We have to stop the transfer." Without another word, I take off, ripping my hand from Justin's. He shouts after me, but I ignore him, ignore the fact that for some reason I want to cry. I run, ignoring the little voice inside of me screaming 'this isn't right.'
Just as I'm about to catch up to Jocelyn and Freddie, they disappear behind an ornate gate leading to the homes of Council members and the beautifully designed doors lock. I tug on them, uselessly, growling and spitting and pleading to no one in particular. Please, please –
"Alex!" Justin yells, screeching to a halt beside me. I throw his invading hands off and yank once more on the gate, screaming when it won't unlock.
"We've got to stop the transfer," I mumble, knowing that I don't really mean the words.
"Alex," Justin says again. I hate how calm his voice is.
"We've got to make Max happy," I whisper. "We've got to stop the transfer."
"We can't," Justin says.
I step back, releasing the gate. Several tears roll down my cheeks and I wipe them away, disgusted with myself. Justin's arms weave around me and I collapse onto his chest, keeping my posture rigid and my face blank. He sees the fight in my eyes, the terror, anyways. He always sees it.
"What's wrong?" my brother asks.
"We can't do this," I admit, not that it makes much of a difference. "Freddie is doing this for a reason and if we screw that up –" my breath hitches and I struggle to rein in my emotions, "If we screw that up, I can't even begin to think about the consequences." My brain registers foreign images of Jocelyn waving a powerless wand, of Freddie saying goodbye to a beautiful girl with honey blonde hair and teary eyes. "We can't affect the past like this," I say, tone numb, dead.
I feel anything but dead inside. Inside I am a raging tornado, all splintering emotions and the truth I don't want to face. When Justin looks at me, surprised, I laugh flatly.
"Is that the conclusion you were hoping I'd come to?" I ask him, appreciating how he doesn't let go of me. "Were you hoping I'd finally see how wrong I was about trying to stop the transfer?"
"Well, yes," Justin responds, shrugging as an embarrassed blush colors his cheeks. "We'll figure out something, Alex," he adds, smiling hopefully at me. "There's got to be something in a spell-book, something to reverse this. We'll find it."
I nod, letting him believe that he's comforting me. The blue post it note burns in my pocket and I swallow guiltily. For the first time, I realize that we might not make it out of this.
"There's nothing here," I hiss several hours later, throwing my hands up and nearly knocking the thousand year old, musty spell-book off my lap. For people who claim to thrive in the land of order and perfection, they sure aren't good at restoring books.
I cough as a wave of dust rises in the air, smacking me in the face.
"You've only looked at two spell-books," Justin mumbles from his position on the floor. Sitting criss-cross and surrounded by a dozen different spell-books, he paints the perfect picture of a mortal student during finals.
"Yeah," I answer, closing the spell-book and setting it on the huge ten foot table to my left. "Well, they were big ones. I don't see how you're getting anything out of those pages, what with them flipping so fast."
"Actually, I spelled the books to search for any possible solutions to our problem," Justin says smugly, reaching up and messing his hair further. "I just have to sit back and wait."
"Well, what if these books don't have the solution? Maybe they have a spell that leads you to a spell-book that does have the solution," I argue, knowing that I'm being a brat. But I figure I have somewhat of a right. Between running off of four hours of sleep and visiting a library for the first time since fifth grade, I'm cranky. Not to mention, even after six hours of diligent searching, we have found nothing. It's like the curse doesn't exist.
Justin pauses to think and sighs when he realizes that I have a bit of a point. Rising to my feet, I begin to pace around the deserted section of the library, weaving about tables and chairs. Above us, a chandelier swings gently, thousands of diamonds shivering and shining, illuminating the brightness. The ceiling looks like it was painted by Van Gogh, with cryptic drawings and designs that don't even exist in the mortal world. This room alone is stunning, comprising only one of five thousand rooms in the library. From our position here, I can look out of the French style windows and see throughout the entire east side of the magical realm. The people on the ground look like ants and my head spins just thinking about how high we're up.
"I don't know what else to try, Alex," Justin admits, letting weariness leak into his tone. I look over my shoulder, catching his eyes. He feels guilty that he can't do more, guilty that he's letting me down and potentially dooming us. I sigh.
"It's not your fault," I tell him, approaching the circle of spell-books. Touching his shoulder, I wait for him to look at me before smiling. "We'll figure something out, okay?"
My phone buzzes in my pocket. Justin smiles, looking at me in such a loving way that I shiver.
Fishing out my phone, I head towards the opposite end of the room. "Where are you going?" Justin calls after me and I wiggle my hips a little, hearing him inhale sharply.
"Ten minute break," I respond, flashing him a smoldering look. The way he's looking at me is more than carnal, something that makes my skin erupt with goose-bumps. I remember the way we moved together on my bed, the way his lips bruised mine, and try not to let my brother see just how much he affects me.
I haven't allowed myself to think much about that night, I realize as I slide between shelves and rest against a row of Demeurer history books. With everything we've been going through, I didn't find it prudent to entertain sexual fantasies about my brother. But those stormy eyes of his bring back the memories and every muscle in my body jumps at the thought of doing something so intimate again with the man I love.
Not yet, I chastise myself, fishing through my phone for the new message.
Hey there =) I'm sorry for how I've been acting. It was wrong. Care to meet me for some tea and crumpets? – Your Werewolf
My first thought is to ignore his text, but it would be rude. I'm supposed to love Mason when I'm this age. I remember feeling like he was it and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. The blue post it note crinkles in my pocket, reminding me what I'm supposed to do, even if it hurts Justin.
Right now, we've got no answers. So we have no choice but to follow the blue post it notes and hope that they'll save us from this monstrous end.
When and where? Please tell me you're joking about the crumpets. – Your Wizard :)
Now to deal with Justin, I think, sighing to myself.
"Hey," I call out, slipping back towards our study spot. Justin is still sitting there in the same position, flipping through a book with rapt attention. The moment he hears my book he puts a flowery book-mark in between the pages and closes the book.
"Everything alright?" he asks.
I nod. "Actually," I say, "I have to go. You're welcome to stay here if you want." Turning to dash off, I hope that Justin won't stop me.
"What do you mean?" Justin asks, giving me a confused look.
My shrug is a little too unsteady to portray nonchalance. "Mason asked me on a date," I tell my brother, watching his face fall. My heart falls with it. "Maybe he and I will be able to work things out. I can't imagine losing him."
"But I thought –" Justin starts, hurt flashing across his face. "Alex, who's side are you on? I'm trying to save us and you're over there flirting with Mason like you're back in your senior year of high school." I haven't heard him this upset since he lost Juliet and I swallow back the tears. I'm sorry, Justin.
"If you haven't noticed, I am a senior in high school," I retort bitterly, trying to put as much contempt into my voice as possible. I've got to protect Justin. I have to. "While you're over here searching through spell-books uselessly, I'm trying to make sure our cover isn't blown. Get over yourself."
I turn around and begin to stalk off, head held high.
"Alex," Justin says. That's all that comes out of his shaking lips: my name. The damage it does, the ache it sends rushing from the top of my head to the tip of my toes, is so much worse. I've hurt him again, only this time I don't know if I can fix it.
"Get over yourself," I repeat, voice hollow.
Then I walk away, more miserable than I've ever been.
..::.:.:::être continué:::.:.::..
..:.:..::...to be continued..::..:.:::.:..
