"Calm down." Addison begged her best friend, Naomi who was in the midst of having a larger than life panic attack.
"Don't tell me to calm down, Addison... I have a child growing inside of me." Naomi snapped. "Do you know what children are like...they are time consuming, and messy and they are loud...and one is inside of me."
"I know what children are like, Nai." Addison reminded dulling. They were on campus, sitting in a grassy knoll where most students were studying, a few couples were sitting under trees and craving their initials in. They were the only ones who had a child with them. Addison pointed that fact out. "And I can tell you that in addition to being loud and messy they are a lot of responsibility. They need a lot of attention and care. But, on the other hand they are amazing."
"Addison, you're different. Your kid is perfect. Your kid probably shits gold." Naomi said sarcastically. "Everything you do works perfectly. You make a mistake and turn it into the best thing that could happen to you. You're Addison, you manage."
"First of all...she doesn't shit gold. That is a promise. The second she does though, you'll be the first person I call. Second, being 'Addison' has nothing to do with it. You'll see, Nia, when this baby is born you're gonna be the same way."
"What if I'm not? I mean... I'm not exactly very maternal. I laugh when people fall, and I think sugar is great for you."
"I'm sorry, have we met? I'm Addison, I was the least maternal person on the face of this plant. I had no idea that there are channels that show catroons all day long. I didn't know that bed time stories are the most crucial part of the day. I had no idea that who the hell the Telebubies were. And the second Ella came into my life that all changed. The second you see this baby, you'll be the exact same way. You're life will have a whole new light. You won't be able to understand your life before her."
"You sound like you've got this whole thing down." Naomi answered, suddenly relaxed and calm. "I really never thought Addison Montgomery would ever become Addison Shepherd. And I never imagine you to sit here and be this amazing mother with all this amazing advice. It's seriously unbelievable how much this child has changed you for the better."
"I'm not even her real mother, Nai, but she gave my life meaning. I have no idea what the hell the point of my life was before her. She's everything I could ever have wanted, she's anything I could have wanted. I don't care if I lose everything else... she's all I need to be happy."
"That sounds a little like obsession."
"That's unconditional love, idiot!" Addison exclaimed.
"Hi." Ella said cautiously as she walked closed to the nurse's station where Addison was seated. Things between them had been less than comfortable since Addison had moved back into the trailer two month prior.
Addison looked up from the of the computer. "Hi." she responded before going back to what she was doing.
"Do you have a minute? I really wanted to talk to you."
"I have a patient in the ER that I'm trying to diagnose. I don't have time right now."
"Please, Addison." she begged. It had become insinctive to call her 'Mom' it was the only thing that sounded right. It took an actual effort to not refer to her as that. She had practice this coversation over and over in her mind just to adjust to calling Addison by her first name instead of the title that she'd earned years ago. "I promise it'll only be a minute. I know you're busy and you don't have time, but it's really important."
"Okay...what is it?" Addison answered.
"I hate how awkward I've been feeling around lately. You've been there for almost every day in my life, minus those first few years and now we're like complete strangers and it's all my fault."
"It's not your fault." Addison replied. "You got older. You started to understand what's going on around you, you learned the truth and we grew apart. It happens all the time. The same thing happened to me and your father. It happens to everyone and no one can control it."
"Yeah, I know but the thing is... I know you haven't forgiven me, and I know I shouldn't expect you to but I still want you to know that I'm really sorry."
"Ella, I told you before that you don't have to apologize to me. You were right, I was wrong for forcing myself into your life and lying to you. I deserve what I go. You don't have to be sorry and you don't have to feel guilty."
"Does that mean you're gonna stop hating me?"
"I could never hate you." Addison assured. "But I can't be like I used to. I'm not the same person anymore, you're not the same person and you're father is not the same person. We all changed, we can't go back to what it used to be and expect to be as happy. That's over, Ella. It's never going to be like that again."
"So you're really not gonna try to fix it? You're gonna leave as soon as we hit six months?"
"Yes. I'll be gone as soon as my lawyer tells me I can leave." Addison answered. "I'm sorry for everything your father and I put you through but it'll be over soon enough. I have to go check on my patients."
Ella nod, pretending to understand what she had just been told. She watched as Addison walked away and stood frozen in her spot. She assumed that after an apology everything would be okay, or at least she hoped.
"You realize that the only time that we get along is right after therapy? But as soon as we get home that's gone." Derek asked as he held the door open for his wife. Once she got out he slipped his arm around her waist as they walked toward the restaurant together. "I'm really glad you agreed to do this, Addison. I miss doing things like this."
Addison didn't respond, instead she smiled. They followed a seating hostess to a table and he pulled out her chair for her before sitting down himself.
"I feel like we're dating all over again." Derek laughed, again there came no response just a glance and a small smile. "So you're not going to talk to me?"
"I'm sorry." she whispered. "This feels weird to me. I'm just trying to adjust. I don't know what to say or how else to react."
"I was thinking that maybe we could do this after we see the stupid shrink every week. You know... just me and you. It's the only time we spend together all week, it's the only time I feel like you don't want to jump on top of me and kill me. Besides, we have less than four months left. I don't want to waste that time."
"If someone would have told that this is where my marriage would have ended up I would have had them committed." Addison finally looked up from her menu and admitted. It was the first comment she had made in regards to their situation.
"We could still prove them wrong, Addison. We still have time to make this work."
A waiter stood beside the table with an overly friendly smile on his face. "Ready to order?"
"No." Derek responded quickly.
"Can you please give us a little more time?" Addison added. The waiter nodded and walked away and all Derek would do was look at her and roll his eyes.
"Watch him come back in 2 minutes." he said dryly. "Anyway, comment...on what I said about still having a chance to work this out."
"We have to think about Ella."
"Ella loves you, Ads. Ella will not object to making this work."
"But she'll be devastated when it doesn't and I don't want to break her heart again." Addison answered. "Our marriage is over and for the most part it's my fault. I can't expect you or your daughter to forgive me, I can't stay with you and dwell on what we used to have. Ella deserves so much more than what I can give as a mother and what we can give her as a couple. We failed her a long time ago, Derek. I failed her. I can't..."
"Will you at least do this with me? Once a week, just you and me. Forget marriage, forget love and sex and all that bull shit. Once a week, after the shrink can we just do something like this to escape reality for an hour or two?"
"Sure." she agreed. "But I reserve the right to be a complete and total bitch at all other times."
"I wouldn't have it any other way." Derek smiled, finally opening the menu he had set in front of him. He was in the midst of deciding what he wanted when he heard someone ask if they were ready. He looked to see the waiter standing there with the same joyous smile. "Do I look like I'm ready?" he snapped.
Btw, for everyone who has been asking for more scenes with Addison and Ella, I promise that the next chapter will fill that need. But if you had specific conversations or scenarios in mind than I'm open to hear them.
And I was wondering if you guys are more into the flashbacks or the present? I like this whole thing of splitting the chapter up like that. I'm not sure how other people feel about it. Review and let me know.
Oh and my last random thought: Waiters that keeping coming to the table to ask if you're ready when you're clearly not annoy me.
