The last thing Derek expected when he walked into the house was to see what he saw. For the first time in almost eight months he was home in time to take his family out to dinner. He was there in time to see his wife and daughter before they fell asleep. Instead he walked in to see his wife sleeping with his best friend and his world turned upside down.

"I'll go, you stay. I'll get our stuff in the morning." Derek said, his mind established. His voice was certain, he didn't even flinch at the idea of losing the woman he'd had by his side for over a decade. He couldn't even look at her, every time he tried he felt like he could taste the bile raising up his esophagus.

" 'Our' No, Derek...you can't do that. You can't take Ella from me." Addison replied desperately. "I'm her mother, she's all I have."

Derek laughed incredulously. "You're not her mother." he reminded her harshly. "You're no one to her."

Addison had made countless mistakes in her lifetime, but considering Ella as her own child was not one of them. That may have been the one thing she did right. Her proudest accomplishment. She did everything in her power to be a good mother, better than the one who claimed part in her own life. She sacrificed all that was needed to raise a close to perfect child. But hearing Derek's words made her second guess all of it. He was right. She had been too busy living her dream to remember reality. Facts remained that Ella was not her child, she was the outsider of the family. She realized that didn't fit in and never really had despite what she thought.

"She'd be better off with her actual mother. You know what?" he paused. She could tell his voice was about to get a lot more harsh to match the words he would utter. "I respect that woman so much more than I respect you. At least she left. She knew she couldn't reach my expectations of a wife, she knew she couldn't mother a child. She was a horrible example and she knew it..so she left. Unlike you. If you knew you couldn't handle the demands of this family you should have left!"

She didn't leave because she knew she could handle it. She'd handled it for 12 years. She raised his child, she supported him through medical school, their internship and their residency. Whenever either one of them needed her, she was there. She always put them ahead of herself. She could handle it all until she found out that she was the only one in the marriage putting that much work into it. Than she let herself go.

"How does it feel to lose everything?" Derek asked spitefully.

Addison looked up into his eyes for one brief second before he looked away in disgust. She didn't answer him but the answer was clear in the form of tears.

Derek just shook his head disapprovingly as he took in the last sight of a broken Addison. Then he walked out the door to go find his daughter and they never turned back.


Derek paced back and forth in his recently acquired house. His daughter had been missing for two days and he had no idea where she could be. He didn't know if she had left or if she was taken. The police had not been at all successful in finding her. Naturally, Derek was concerned.

He had the phone in a tight grip but he couldn't go through with the call he intended to make. He didn't want to bother her with something that he thought she wouldn't care about. She wanted out, she didn't want a child or a husband anymore. She wanted to leave it all behind. So why would he call her? He reasoned that Addison would be the last person to know any where abouts in regards to Ella. She's the last person Ella would ever go to. However, she's the first person he would go to. His fingers automatically dialed the number without even having to look. He held it to his ear and listened to the ringing until he heard her voice at the other end of the line. "Addison." he breath. Just hearing her voice somehow loosened all the nerves that were tightly wound. "It's Derek."

"Yeah, 12 and a half years of marriage...a few weeks apart doesn't mean I can't recognize your voice." she answered. "Is there something you needed?"

"I uh.." he paused, "I'm not sure if you'd care or not but I thought I should tell you."

"I'm busy, Derek. If you have something to tell me than tell me. If you're bored and you just want to waste time than stop."

"If you're busy I could call back later..." he answered softly, somewhat intimidated by her dismissive attitude. He knew she was being defensive but he didn't know how to get her to listen for a few minutes.

"No, Derek...if you have something to say than say it!"

"Ella is gone, okay?!" Derek yelled back. "I have no idea where she is. I thought you'd care but I guess I was wrong."

There was silence on her end of the line. She had no idea how to respond. He was about to hang up in defeat when he heard her sigh. "Addison?"

"Have you called the police?" she asked in a low, calm and even tone.

"Yeah, two days ago... They said they'd call me if they get any information on her." He answered.

"And they haven't called?" she wondered.

"No."

"Why don't you call and follow up? How big a search have they organized? Have they alerted any divisions outside of Seattle?" She asked, hoping that he would realize that these were the sort of questions he needed to discuss with whoever was in charge of the case.

He knew she'd be able to handle this whole thing better than he could. She was always the one to remain logical and level headed in time of panic. She would never let anyone notice the stress she was feeling, she'd keep it bottled up and she'd do what needed to be done. "I guess I was hoping that she may have come there...ya' know, for you..."

"Oh." Addison answered sadly, realizing that she was about to ruin his last hopes for his daughter's safety. "No, Derek. I'm sorry. She's not here. The last time I saw her was the day I left Seattle."

Derek nodded to himself. "I knew it was a long shot...but I had to ask."

"I'll let you know if she hear from her though." she assured. "And I'm here if you need me, Derek. If you need to talk or something...call me whenever."

"Thanks, Ad."

"Will you let me know if you hear anything?" she asked shyly, almost as if she was embarrassed by the fact that she cared.

"You'll be the first person I call." Derek promised. "I'm sorry I bothered you. I'll um...talk to you later." he mumbled before hanging up.

Addison heard the line go dead but she needed to check the screen on her phone to confirm the fact that he had hung up on her. And suddenly after a brief call it was as if everything in her life had been turned upside down again. Naomi pushed the door open and popped her head in. She was drunk with enthusiasm, like she always as at the end of the day. "We decided to go out and drink all our problems away. You in?"

Addison looked up and shook her head. "I'm just gonna go home."

"And do what? Dwell well your failed marriage? Think about the child you never really had? Come on, live a little. Move on." she encouraged persuasively.

"I'm just not in the mood to go out right now, Naomi." Addison answered with her mind made up to assure her best friend that the guilt trip was not going to work.

"Are you sure you're okay? You look like you did that one time Ella thought it would be funny to play 'hide and seek' by herself and hid in the trunk of Derek's car. You looked like you didn't know whether to cry or scream...kinda like you look now."

"Can we please not talk about that?"

"Who went missing this time or are you torn between crying and screaming for absolutely no reason?" She interogated further after walking in and sitting beside Addison.

"Same person..." Addison answered absentmindedly. "She's hiding, I know she is...but he doesn't...." she paused for a second before amending her choice of words. "We don't know where to look."

"And you're worried?" Naomi asked.

"Yes." Addison admitted in a whisper. How could she not be?

"I wish I was surprised. But you have to care, you have to be worried. You're her mother...it's your job." Naomi answered. Although Addison tried to hide it, she knew. It was obvious just by the was she acted that she still cared. Addison could lie and pretend all she wanted, but Naomi could see right through it.

Addison had tried to detatch herself from Ella, she made a smooth transition into being the most uninterested person in her life. But the fact of the matter was; in her mind Ella would always be her little girl. No matter how hard she tried to put past her. Except now in difference to the past, she hid it. She tried to bury it deep enough to forget it but that didn't work.

Like any mother, biological or not...she would always worry, she would always care, and she would always love her child. Nothing she could do would erase any of that.


I think people are going to hate me for that but I promise it'll work out fine.
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