Ella stayed up until midnight so she could wish herself a happy birthday. Her father had taken an additional shift for some unknown reason. Addison would usually be home by before it got too late, but one of her patients had gone into early labor. She had no choice but to leave her daughter alone to be at work.
Since the year that Addison came into their lives, the Shepherds had a new tradition. Addie would go out to one of those overpriced cupcake shops and buy mini red velvet cupcakes. They would stay up until midnight and right at the stroke of 12 Ella would make a wish and blow out her candle. This was the first year that tradition had been broken. It was midnight on her birthday and she was home alone.
Addison did not arrive home until three hours later. She stood in her daughter's bedroom and watched her for a few seconds. She carefully leaned in and placed a gentle loving kiss on her forehead. At that second Ella's eye fluttered open and she looked up with a questioning gaze. "Happy Birthday." she whispered to the groggy child.
"You remembered!" Ella exclaimed. "I thought you guys forgot."
Addison shook her head in response. "I could never forget, but I had to go to work. I had no choice. But on my way in I stopped by at the cupcake shop before they closed. There is a box of red velvet downstairs with your name on..." she paused. "Actually, it has my name on it because I placed the order like three weeks ago. But you know what I meant."
Ella's eyes lit up as she pulled herself up in bed. "You got cupcakes, too?" She pulled off her blanket and raced downstairs to the kitchen. Despite the fact that Addison arrived seconds after her, Ella was already preparing to devour her custom made cupcake.
Addison lit the single standing candle on one of the cupcake. "I'd sing to you but I don't want to torture you on your birthday." she joked, watching as her daughter blew out the flame. "What did you wish for?" she asked looking up to see Ella concentrated on consuming her cupcake.
"Sorry." Ella wiped away the icing off her face with a wet paper towel. "I tend not to listen to people while im inducing a sugar high. Whatcha say?"
"What did you wish for?" she repeated.
"I can't tell you because it wouldn't come true."
"Oh come on... that's the lamest thing a 14 year old could say."
Ella looked up from the crumbs on her plate. She looked straight into her mother's eyes. "I wished that Dad could have been here."
Addison gave small smile. She looked down at her still to be consumed cupcake and dug her fork into it. "You and me both." she mumbled quietly to herself.
Ella walked into the building she had only read about. She had googled Addison to find out where she was. She walked out of the elevator toward the reception desk where a young blond man was sitting. She approached him hesitantly and cleared her throat before she was able speak.
"I uh...Is Addison Shepherd here by any chance?" she asked in a soft tone almost as if she was preparing to be turned away.
"Shepherd?" Dell asked strangely. "We have an Addison Montgomery but no Shepherd. But I think we're talking about the same person. Do you have an appointment?"
"Oh, no. I'm not a patient. I just wanna talk to her." Ella answered awkwardly. The fact that the receptions didn't know who she was said it all. Addison probably never spoke about her, probably had no pictures for anyone to ask about. It was simply as if she didn't exist.
"Does Dr. Montgomery know you? Was she expecting you?" Dell replied.
Ella shook her head. "Im probably the last person on this plant she'd expect to see. But she does know me. I'm Ella. She has to know me, I'm her daughter."
"Her daughter?" Dell asked in the typical tone he used when he refused to believe what he had been told. "I knew it! She would pretend that there was nothing she was running from but there is! And it's you...and who ever your father is. She ran from you two and she's out here hiding from you. I knew it!" Dell grinned.
"So is she here?" Ella asked.
"Yeah, she is but she's with a patient. You can go wait in her office. I'll let her know as soon as she's done."
Ella smiled, grateful that she was able to get her way. She walked toward the direction that Dell pointed out. Ella stepped in to the very Addison styled office and looked around. Everything was exactly the way anyone could expect it to be. She glanced over the desk, noticing the absence of the one thing that every professional had in their office. Picture Frames. It was designed perfectly except it was missing that personal touch. The door opened just as Ella sat down. Addison walked in looking almost terrified. She could see a group of strange people (minus Sam and Naomi who she knew) staring in through the window.
"Hi." Ella said to break the silence. "I probably should not have come...but I didn't know where else to go. I can leave."
"What are you doing here, Ella?" Addison answered numbly. "Your father called me. He's worried out of his mind."
"I went to New York...to find my mom. And I found her. She didn't want to see me. She has her own family. Her son is just a year younger than me and she didn't give him up. But she didn't even bother to look at me when I was born."
"Ella, you should not have done that. You know that. I could have told you that she would not welcome you with open arms."
"Well you weren't around for me to ask." Ella replied more harshly than she had initially intended to. "Besides, how would you know?"
"I've met her." Addison answered. "Your father and I once saw her. Right before the wedding. Your were with us but you probably don't remember. We went out to dinner and she was our waitress. She pretended to not recognize your father."
"What did he do?"
"Nothing. What could he have done? He followed her act and pretend he had no idea who the hell she was." Addison replied, sitting down on the magazine table across from Ella with her legs crossed. "Are you okay?"
Ella shook her head. "I'm miserable." she admitted. "What's wrong with me?"
"What are you talking about, Ella?"
"What is wrong with me? Everyone has a mother, everyone. How the hell am I an exception from that?" Ella replied. "My mother left me at birth, Addie. You get that right? She carried me inside of her, she pushed me out of her and she didn't even bother to look at me. She just walked away. And then there was you....and I think we know how badly I screwed up with you. You were actually there for me, you cared about me, you loved me...and I threw it all away. So what's wrong with me? Why can't I be like any other child on this planet? Why didn't I deserve a mother?"
Addison sighed as she looked into the child's eyes with guilt in her own. At that second there were no words to answer the question. Nothing she could say would ever be enough.
I know it's almost been a week, and I know I promised I'd update every few days. This weeks been hectic. Been doing everything to get ready for prom, which is in two day. Problem? I got sick.
BTW: Flashbacks are in no specific order.
A review would make me feel a lot less miserable.
