Chapter 14: I Should Tell You
(Author's Notes: Just a note to any readers out there, some of my concepts for a few of the chapters had been inspired by certain aspects of movie and television shows I watch. The last chapter and this chapter are inspired by certain scenes from the first season of The OC to those who follow the show. The concept of this chapter will feature a lot of recounting days before and after. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the rest of the story and keep sending in those reviews.)
Mimi's Apartment…
"Okay Mimi hold still I need to put the final touches on your outfit for the competition this Saturday," Angel replied as she was stringing together the last pieces of Mimi's outfit for the dance competition, "Now you'll be ready to compete Saturday."
"I can't believe it's already April and the competition is at the end of the week," Mimi said as she sighed, "I'm just a bit nervous about all of this…it's my first real formal competition."
"Trust me girlfriend you'll do fine and we'll be routing for you…well maybe…" Angel trailed off.
"Yeah I know…Roger is heading out for a few days to Santa Fe for a few days on a business trip," Mimi sighed, "He left early this morning so I went to see him off and Mark is watching Courtney while he's gone."
"Something's bothering you isn't it?" Angel asked, "It's not just the competition…something else is on your mind."
"Angel…the way I sent him off wasn't what I really expected," Mimi sighed as she sulk her head, "I'm stupid to say that unexpectedly to him and Roger didn't even know how to react."
"What happened this morning?"
"You really want to know what happened this morning?" Mimi asked as she was modeling her outfit for the competition in front of the mirror, "I don't know where to begin…"
"I think I might have a feeling what's going on," Angel replied as Mimi began to think back to this morning when she drove Roger to the airport.
This Morning-JFK International Airport…
Mimi walked Roger to the terminal gate heading that was departing for Santa Fe as he was preparing to check in. It was a surprise for Roger to learn that the record company was sending off for a business trip involving Cardigan Records to preview some of his new demos to be recorded and produced. Actually, the business trip Roger was going on turned out to be a performance assessment to preview his recent works he wanted recorded. So far he only got demo samples and not full out recordings yet, but the sad part was he was spending a week away from Courtney and he was going to miss Mimi's competition.
"So are you sure you have everything?" Mimi asked, "You packed everything you needed?"
"Yes babe I did," Roger smiled as the two kissed, "I'm sorry I'm going to miss your competition but this deal is something I've been working on for a long time. I'm just hoping they like my stuff."
"Those two demos you previewed to me especially was something I loved," Mimi smiled, "I hope you do get those put out one day and I'm sure Cardigan Records would produce it."
"I know but still…your competition is Saturday and I'm going to miss my girlfriend dancing in her first Latin Ballroom competition," Roger sighed, "If you came by this morning it was worse trying to leave while you had Courtney prying on my leg begging not to go. Unfortunately she couldn't come so I had Mark take her to school. I got to call her once I get in just to make sure Mark is capable of looking after her."
"If Mark can't handle her you can always rely on me," Mimi added, "You're daughter practically loves me…and I'm definitely going to miss you for the next week."
"Me too Mimi I'm going to miss you," Roger smiled as the two kissed and hugged, "Don't read too much of A Walk to Remember to my kid because it's hard enough to try to dodge her demands to know what happens next. However, I just tell her wait until your Aunt Mimi reads to you the book when you turn sixteen." Mimi smiled as they continued to hug and kiss and then suddenly she whispers and sighs in his ear.
"…I love you," Mimi whispered in Roger's ear. However, this practically stunned Roger as he stops hugging his girlfriend and clears his throat, "…oh my goodness…huh…I mean…"
"Huh…I…huh…beg…huh…" Roger stuttered nervously not knowing how to react.
"I-I-I…didn't mean…huh…Roger…huh…" Mimi replied nervously to Roger's reaction.
"…Thank you," were the only two words that just came out of Roger's mouth.
"…Uh you're welcome," Mimi said surprised, "Huh…yeah I'm really sorry it just…I didn't really mean for that to come out…it's just…it…just…"
"I know…I'm sorry too," Roger replied as he heard the attendant announcing the final boarding for the flight to Santa Fe, "I guess…it's time for me to huh…you know…"
"Yeah your flight is boarding…I don't want to you to miss your plane," Mimi quickly said, "I'll see you in a few days and call me when…you fall…huh…I mean when you arrive in yeah."
The two of them traded one more kiss before Roger checked into the terminal as Mimi watched him boarding on, however she was shocked of how it turned out. What she didn't notice was Roger was thinking the same thing at the same time while he was on the plane waiting for it to take off. He was wondering how the heck did that happen and it was something he should didn't expect Mimi to say suddenly.
"I love you," Roger softly whispered to himself, "I love you, I love you. How hard is it to say?"
Now…
"So you told Roger you loved him?" Angel asked shocked, "How…did he react?"
"Angel it just happened I don't know how to explain why I said it but it was like something I've never felt before," Mimi replied, "It just came out like that…we were making out before he was boarding and I just said…I love you. However, it wasn't the reaction Roger expected because he was stunned and surprised. He backed off eventually and stopped and I looked at him bewildered realizing what I said to him and of course I didn't even know either."
"What happened next?" Angel asked.
"He just said…thank you and I suddenly replied back you're welcome," Mimi sighed, "If a guy says you're welcome…does that mean anything? I've only known him for a few months and suddenly I'm feeling something deeper than usual. I know he's already had to deal with the loss of April and he probably loved only one woman in his life and had a kid with her, the thing I'm worried about is…"
"You're not sure if he feels the same way too," Angel assured her, "Roger is someone different Mimi and he's had his share of high and low points…but don't doubt your true feelings for him. He'll probably say it when he is ready just have faith in him."
"But how do I know…if he does really love me?" Mimi wondered, "How will I know if he doesn't even know how he feels about me."
Meanwhile in the loft…
"I don't know what to say here…do I love her or not?" Roger replied on the other line on the phone in Santa Fe, "It just came out suddenly and I'm like oh my God I can't believe it! I don't want to be afraid to tell Mimi how I feel…but I'm not sure if I'm ready yet or better yet if I deserve to be loved by her. I've haven't been in love with anyone besides April since then but now…Mimi comes into my life and suddenly I'm viewing things from a different retrospective. I want to feel these things but I'm just confused right now."
However on the other end of the phone, Courtney was too confused to figure out what her dad was talking about despite the fact it was on speaker phone and the seven year old girl's mind was left in wonder to figure out what Roger was talking about.
"You talk a lot daddy and I don't understand what you are saying," Courtney replied, "You're saying things that make my head hurt and you're all the way in Santa Fe. When will you be back daddy because Uncle Mark is boring to play with?"
"I'll be back by the end of the week sweetie," Roger replied on the other end, "I'm aiming to leave early by Friday so I can come back Saturday and watch Aunt Mimi dance and to see my little miracle girl."
"I miss you daddy I didn't want you to go to Santa Fe," Courtney sighed, "You've never been away from home in a long time daddy. Couldn't I come with you daddy?"
"I wish I could have taken you but you have school and I didn't want you to miss school but I promise the next time I go to Santa Fe I'll take you with me," Roger said, "Where's your Uncle Mark by the way?"
"I'm right here Roger you're on speaker," Mark said from the couch, "It makes it easier for us to talk to you. I know you're calling to ensure us you got in safely and don't worry Courtney is in good hands while you're away I assure you that. I'm not going to corrupt my niece's mind while you're away. Anyways I always got Mimi and the others to help out just in case you don't trust me to take care of Courtney but she's well look after Roger. I'm probably guessing that the only reason why you'd called is to let us know you arrived safely or…is there something else you wanted to talk about?"
"Uncle Mark daddy was talking a lot and I don't understand what he is saying," Courtney replied on the other end, "He kept talking and talking about mushy stuff I don't know what grown ups talk about."
"You can stop now tiny," Roger replied on the other end, "Being almost 3000 miles away from home you probably know that is there is something wrong which I don't want to discuss about. My daughter is in the room and this is more of the PG rated to PG 13 topic I need to discuss about now. Courtney if you can hear me I need you to leave the room for a minute while I talk to Uncle Mark okay tiny? I love you and I promise I'll call you back soon and be a good girl okay? I don't want to come back and find out that you were a little terror to your uncles and aunts okay?"
"Okay daddy I love you come back home soon," Courtney said as she left the room.
"Judging by your tone of voice you didn't want Courtney in the room to tell me something that was very important," Mark said, "I'm guessing…it has to do with Mimi or it is…"
"This morning when Mimi dropped me off at the airport," Roger answered, "Mimi said three words I thought I wouldn't expect to hear."
"What do you mean Mimi told you…oh my God she didn't say what I'm guessing?"
"Mark…Mimi said I love you," Roger slowly answered, "Right before I left."
"Shut up Roger!" Mark yelled shocked, "Mimi said that to you? Well…what did you say?"
"I said…uh thank you," Roger replied while Mark laughed on the other end, "What's so funny about that Mark? I didn't expect that to happen and like gosh I'm not sure if I'm ready to fall in love again with someone besides April. I do really have feelings for Mimi and I care about her a lot and she means everything to me but I'm not ready to love someone all over again. I feel terrible she poured her heart out to me and I just…said thank you."
"You're worried because you don't know how to say it don't you," Mark said as he began to yawn, "It's like 11:30pm at night here and I'm guessing with the time difference I need to sleep soon. You want to tell her but the problem is you want to say it when you mean it. You know Mimi meant it when she told you she loved you but you doubt yourself because of everything that happened with April's accident and the disownment by your family. I'll tell you this Roger she has changed you in ways you can't imagine and you will know when the time is right to say it when you truly realize how you feel." After the two finished talking, Mark hung up the phone hoping that he could help Roger realize his true feelings for Mimi.
Santa Fe, New Mexico…
A few days passed and Roger was busy attending meetings at Cardigan Records to present his new demos to the company. The executives were impressed with Roger's work that they wanted him to do a pre-recording of one of his songs. Day by day Roger was keeping contact with his bosses at Spark Records to update them on how the deals were going. However, he was having a hard time focusing on his initial job interview to work to Cardigan Records with Mimi on his mind. He was in the recording studio watching one of Cardigan's recording artist Karen Tang sing a verse of one of his songs.
"Okay Karen I need you to take it from the top again," Roger announced while Karen was in the recording booth, "Just start from the last verse."
"There are those who shield their hearts, those who quit before they start, who frozen up the part of them that feels," Karen sang, "When the dark they lost their sight, like a ship without a star in the night, so hold on tight."
"Okay you can stop from there," Roger said as he stopped the recording, "So Mr. Ward what do you think? I was working on it sometime for awhile and I started recording with a few of the artists at Spark just for a demo until it gets produced."
"I got to say that this song of yours is a piece of work Mr. Davis do you have a title for it?" Mr. Ward asked, "Karen you can take five and ease up on your voice."
"Actually…it's called Love Heals," Roger said, "I wrote it sometime a few years back but I didn't finish it. Just recently I found it and then…suddenly I felt like I wanted to finish it."
"You've been here for about maybe a few days now and I see you're a hard worker," Mr. Ward added, "You know that this business trip is a job interview to find some up and coming songwriters and we've had business deals with Spark Records for over 3 years and you're name has been well respected by your company. Grant says that you're a talented musician as well that's why he sent me some of your demos to consider as a candidate for this job. We've been seeking talent from the east coast for a long time and you've been with Spark Records for over 8 years now. So far you are one of the top candidates for this job and I'll be in New York in a few weeks to announce the final decision."
"So there is a chance that some of my stuff will get produced if I get this job?" Roger asked.
"Very highly and your chance to even work with some of our top artists here at Cardigan," Mr. Ward added, "This is a very high demanded company and your work and dedication to the music business has stood out. You'll never know Mr. Davis that maybe you'll get this job. I do like that song Love Heals and if you get that song produced under our record company you'll be a hit on the west coast here." After a few hours of pre-recording, Roger took a break when he got a call from on his phone.
"Hello…Roger Davis speaking," he replied as he heard Mimi on the other line, "Hey baby how are you doing?"
"I haven't heard from you in the last few days," Mimi replied on the other end, "It's been tiring and I've been preparing for Saturday nonstop with all the rehearsals. I miss you a lot Roger although you've only been gone foe a few days only but it seems like a long time."
"I know that feeling I've been swamped with work the minute I got here recording my demos so the executives of Cardigan Records can hear them," Roger replied, "It's part of the job interview here for the selected candidates invited to come. There were about seven from the east coast they were considering and I was one of them. Mimi? Mimi are you still there?" It was a shock for Mimi to find out the reason why Roger went to Santa Fe…for a job interview at Cardigan Records and she didn't know about that.
"Wow…I didn't know about that you didn't mention about considering a job at Cardigan Records in Santa Fe," Mimi sighed, "How long have you been applying?"
"Actually…I didn't really expect this to happen I found out at around Christmas time that my boss Grant recommended me as a candidate," Roger replied, "I know I should have told you sooner or later about this but…it was an opportunity of a lifetime, my dream to remember."
"So I'm hinting you're planning to pack up and move 3000 miles away from New York if you get this job or not?" Mimi replied, "Does anyone get a say in this like me for instance? Why didn't you tell me that you were considering a job in Santa Fe?"
"I don't even know if I got the job yet or not Mimi you're acting like if I was going to move away or something when I don't even know if they'll want me or not," Roger argued, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner or later but I just went for the sake of going and trying out something out of the ordinary. I was hoping you'd understand…why I wanted to go and that is my blaze of glory I wanted to go for."
"I understand and I'll support you by any means," Mimi said, "I called you to see how things were going and now suddenly we're unexpectedly arguing over the telephone here. Are you just bringing up the topic of the job in Santa Fe to avoid talking about something else that maybe on my boyfriend's mind?"
"Well I didn't really expect to tell you about Cardigan Records," Roger sighed, "But I think you probably might be upset with me mainly because right before I left…it…I…didn't say…"
"What didn't you say?" Mimi asked lying knowing to what Roger was talking about.
"I didn't say…when you said…" Roger stuttered on the phone, "Never mind…just forget it I'll see you in a few days…"
"Roger…I know it's still a shock to you and I don't blame you," Mimi said, "I just wish…we had an idea of where things were going now between us. I sometimes feel I maybe pressuring you into this whole relationship and that I'm making you become something that you don't want to be in this relationship. I'm probably wishing that we can go back a few days ago and I regret saying I love you when you weren't ready to tell me how you truly felt. Are you scared about your true feelings because you can say it right now?"
"Here's the truth I've never said it to anyone besides April…but she's dead," Roger said, "I don't know…when you said it to me…I should have told you right back but then…"
"You felt awkward I guess…I'm not April, I'm not your wife," Mimi sighed, "When I said…I mean when I said it I meant it and it felt like the right time."
"Listen I don't…I don't want to discuss that right now," Roger sighed, "I got to go now I'll see you in a few days. Promise to look after Courtney till I return home?"
"Of course Roger she's in good hands," Mimi replied on the other end, "I guess…I'll see you when you get back. I…I…I mean take care baby."
"You too Mimi," Roger replied as they both hung up. He felt even guiltier by revealing the truth behind his trip to Santa Fe, but even worse the whole "I love you" issue. He found himself in a position to figure out where things truly stand between him and Mimi. The fact of the matter stands is he was in love with Mimi but was he ready to fall in love all over again?
"I should tell you…but how?" Roger thought to himself, "I should tell you…that I love you but do I really mean it? If I don't…then I'm going to ruin something I know that is good…" He was looking through his planner trying to figure out what his next move was.
New York City…
The day of the Mimi's dance competition came, however Mimi was a nervous wrack. This was her first big dance competition and she was wearing the dance outfit Angel made for her. It was fortunate for the others to cheer on the young dancer. Mark had the camera again on him and Courtney brought the video camera Mark got her for her birthday. Mimi was going over the dance steps with her partner Kyle minutes before the competition was going to begin.
"So Mimi today is the big day," Mark said video taping her, "How do you feel?"
"How do you think I feel?" Mimi replied, "Fifty percent excited, twenty percent nervous, ten percent worried, and twenty percent upset that my boyfriend isn't here to see me dance…I kind had a little fallout with Roger. I know news broadcasts fast when you all found out I told Roger I loved him probably at the wrong time."
"Mimi chica relax I know you two seem to be having problems right now but you need to focus on the competition," Angel assured her, "You've worked hard on this for months and today is your big moment. Just dance your heart out and give them all you got…we believe in you."
"Thanks you guys for supporting me I don't know where I'd be without you," Mimi smiled, "I heard from Kyle that Miss McRae invited some her former colleagues from the Avalon School of Dance from London to the competition. Rumor has it that they're looking for some dance teachers to teach in London. I don't know if it's true or not but it sounds exciting."
"Sounds like a similar opportunity a particular musician boyfriend is going after," Maureen added, "Oh my gosh Mimi I didn't mean it in that sense…I mean…"
"It's okay Maureen I understand I got dreams to remember too," Mimi replied realizing that maybe she was too hard on Roger, "His dream to finally get one of his songs produced by a top record company and maybe go out in see the world…I don't want him to give up on that."
"Love is always about sacrifices too," Collins replied, "But at the same time…it can be unpredictable too. No one ever knows what happens when you're in love."
"Mimi you're up now," Joanne announced as they saw the other competitors coming out, "We'll be rooting for you girl…break a leg."
"Good luck Aunt Mimi," Courtney smiled giving her a hug, "To me you're the best dancer."
"Thanks Courtney I really appreciate you being my number one fan," Mimi smiled as Kyle was waiting for her, "Okay…well here we go then."
"Go Mimi knock them dead!" they all replied as they headed out to the dance floor and took their seats to watch the competition.
"Good even ladies and gentlemen," the host announced, "Welcome to the 57th annual Park Ave Ballroom Dance Competition. Tonight we have a extraordinary competition ahead of us for the evening showcasing the array of dance categories. We have many couples competing tonight who have been practicing and preparing for months. With that saying…please enjoy tonight's competition. Our first category tonight will be the Latin Dance competition. We got eleven couples dancing and here they are."
Mimi came out a few moments later with her dance partner Kyle and the other competitors came out to the dance floor. The others cheered from the stands as the first dances that performed was the Samba and Cha Cha. They were pretty impressed with Mimi's performance despite this was her first competition while Mimi kept her focus on dancing. It was very fast pace and it surprised the others of how quick Mimi's steps were on the dance floor. The judges seemed very impressed with the competitors. After they were finished performing their dances, the judges picked the final 5 couples and luckily enough, Mimi and Kyle were in.
"Oh honey I'm so proud of you," Kyle's fiancée Rosie smiled, "You're in the finals."
"I know one more round and then…I don't know this is exciting," Kyle replied, "Thank you again for your help Mimi."
"No problem besides this a team effort Kyle," Mimi replied, "Besides…you still have a long night ahead of you with Rosie."
"Is my suit ready for the Standard competition?" Kyle asked.
"Ready as it should be," Rosie replied as her and Kyle went off for a moment, "The finals don't start till later on after the first round of Standard competition. You should rest first Mimi."
"Thanks," Mimi said as she took a walk in the hallway. She met up with the others while they were congratulating her on making the finals. Afterwards, she found herself in the lobby when she heard a familiar voice.
"Mimi!" the voice called out and she turned around to find Roger with a bouquet of roses. She was surprised to suddenly see him there.
"Roger what are you doing here?" Mimi replied shocked, "I thought you couldn't make it back on time! What are you doing here?"
"What is it a crime to see my girlfriend dance in the biggest competition she's been preparing for months?" Roger smiled, "Besides…I was here the whole entire time watching from the back. I wanted to surprise you by coming back a day early and I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner or later. I came last night and stayed at a hotel room till the next morning. I dropped by the loft to drop off my stuff and I came here. The others don't know I'm back but I wanted to surprise them…but it was you I wanted to surprise."
"Well I'm glad you're back," Mimi smiled giving him a kiss, "It's pretty nerve wracking dancing out there in front of those people…why did you come back early?"
"Because I know…it would mean a lot to me seeing out there dancing and going after what you wanted," Roger said, "I'm sorry…for not telling you about the reason behind my trip to Santa Fe and you deserved to know about it because we'd had to be honest in this relationship. I did a lot of thinking and I know I'm a difficult person to be around with. You put up with me than any other person would and that is something I like about you."
"Is that all?" Mimi asked, "The reason I want to be with you is because I feel that you're something special to me and I want to know where we stand in this relationship. I don't want to make you feel unsure about your true feelings for me and I understand…that I'll wait a bit longer than usual but I'll wait for you."
"To me no matter how unsure I can be or how messed up and confused I'll be…you'll always be perfect in my eyes," Roger smiled giving her a kiss back, "Even on that dance floor you were perfect to make it in the finals. You know I'll be routing for you."
"I know that because you're telling me that right now," Mimi replied. The two began to embrace as Roger suddenly whispered in Mimi's ears the three words she wanted to hear.
"I should tell you…I love you," Roger whispered.
"What…did you say?" Mimi asked.
"I love you Mimi," Roger smiled at her, "I love you and I should have told you that before but now…I can say because I really mean it." Mimi smiled as she finally was happy to hear what she waited for a long time to hear. She then suddenly replied back with a kiss two words.
"…Thank you," Mimi smiled giving Roger a kiss back now knowing that he loved her.
