Chapter 13

Jenny woke with a start to find the room pitch black. She had been having an awful dream about . . . that night . . . sighing in frustration, she turned to the warm body next to her.

Brookes's face stared back at her, merely inches away, his mouth curled into a menacing sneer.

Jenny screamed at the top of her lungs and sat up, flailing to get out of the covers.

"What?" Cutter's voice shouted, sounding panicked. "What's the matter?"

Jenny scrambled out of the bed and over to the wall, breathing hard.

"What's wrong?" Cutter demanded, switching the light on.

The room was completely empty, apart from the two of them.

"Jenny?" Cutter persisted, approaching her slowly. "What is it?"

Jenny tried to steady her breath, her heart still racing a mile a minute.

"Nothing," she breathed eventually. "Just . . . bad dreams . . ."

"About what?"

"Him," she replied bitterly, still so disturbed that her pride had disappeared.

Cutter gave her a sympathetic look, pulling her into a hug.

"It's alright," he soothed. "He can't hurt you anymore."

"No, not until he's free to roam the streets again," Jenny muttered.

Cutter didn't reply, probably because he didn't know what to reply with. He just held her for a long while, until she felt herself calming.

"Sorry, I must have given you a heart attack," she said, with an attempted smile.

"Yeah," Cutter laughed. "I'm joining a gym tomorrow, that's now not fun it was."

"I'm sorry," Jenny whispered again, kissing him as way of an apology.

As she did so, she felt him kiss her back; a loving, needy kiss that tugged right at her heart . . . she felt so safe with him.

Before she knew it, they were in bed as the kiss intensified; she was aware that Cutter was carefully trying to avoid her injuries as his hands wandered over her very slowly and hesitantly, as though he was afraid that she would break. Jenny closed her eyes; this was exactly what she needed - blissful oblivion where she didn't need to think or worry. However, as soon as his touch slid under the material of his long shirt that she wore and glided up her thigh, she flashed back to Brookes's cold hands doing exactly the same thing.

"I can't!" she heard herself shout as she pushed him off.

"It's okay!" Cutter insisted immediately. "It's fine . . . we don't have to do anything . . ."

But Jenny was already on her feet, pulling her jeans on quickly.

"Where are you going?" Cutter asked, sitting up urgently.

"I just need to go and clear my head," she answered.

"I'll go with you - "

"No," Jenny replied quickly. "I just need to sort myself out . . . alone . . ."

"Look, I'm sorry if I . . . well, if I pushed you - "

"You didn't," Jenny insisted truthfully. "It's me, I'm all over the place . . ."

"Jenny - "

"No Nick, just give me some time," she snapped, as she walked off, grabbing her coat as she ran down the stairs and pulling it on over Cutter's shirt she hadn't bothered to change out of.

Even before she got in the car, she knew where she was going to go. As she drove, her mind wondered back to Cutter; the hurt look on his face when she had bailed on him. She'd been causing that look a lot lately - after the brief moment of happiness they had shared when they'd both said 'I love you', their relationship had descended into arguments and abrupt conversations. And it was all Jenny's fault. She knew that Cutter was trying his best, and she was being so horrible to him. And she didn't even know why. Perhaps it was the fact that she hadn't back to work in a week on Lester's orders, and it was sheer boredom. Or maybe it was because every time Nick touched her, it was Brookes's hands she felt on her instead.


Grumbling, Sarah staggered out of bed, pulling on her dressing gown and making her way to the door. The bell was ringing incessantly.

When she finally opened the door, Jenny was standing there, dressed very strangely in a large men's shirt, which hung off her. Her face was still bruised; however since the last time Sarah had seen her (which was in the hospital a week ago), the swelling in her lip seemed to have gone, and her black eye was more of a yellowish discolouring, showing that it was healing slowly.

"Jenny, it's . . ." Sarah began in a croaky voice, checking her watch. " . . . three am," she finished. "What's up?"

Jenny took a deep breath, tears falling fast from her eyes.

"I can't do it Sarah," she cried, hugging herself around her stomach. "I can't - "

"Come in," Sarah insisted, perplexed as she stood aside to let her past.

She closed the door behind her, all tiredness forgotten.

"What can't you do?" Sarah asked, shepherding Jenny into the living room and onto the couch.

"Cutter . . . me and Cutter . . . I can't do it anymore," she sobbed. "I keep pushing him away . . ."

"Okay," said Sarah in her most soothing tone. "You've completely lost me. Just start from the beginning."

Jenny took a deep breath, and when she spoke next, it was in a much steadier voice.

"We were at his house," she began, wiping the tears away from her cheeks impatiently. "And we were in . . . you know . . . and we were about to . . . you know . . ." she continued, giving Sarah a meaningful look.

"Jenny, my house isn't bugged, you can actually say the words," Sarah pointed out, suppressing a smile.

"It's easier this way."

"I never thought of you as a prude," Sarah teased, trying to joke her out of her mood; it worked slightly, as she smiled reluctantly.

"Anyway," Jenny carried on. "While he was . . . getting to work . . ." Sarah rolled her eyes at this point, "I felt like it was Brookes, and I pushed him off."

"Well I'm sure that's perfectly normal after what you've been through," Sarah reasoned, curling her feet underneath her on the couch.

"What about you?" Jenny asked. "How are you doing it?"

"Well luckily for me, I don't have the burden of sleeping with hot men at the moment," she replied sarcastically.

Jenny smirked. "That's not quite what I meant. You went through exactly the same thing as me, and you seem to be handling it a lot better than I am."

Sarah paused and thought for a moment; true, she had been attacked as well - she face and body was bruised, and her self esteem was shot. But it was completely different to what happened to Jenny.

"It was you Brookes was after," Sarah pointed out. "I was just in the way. That's probably why you're finding it more difficult."

"If I can't sort myself out soon, I'm going to lose Nick," Jenny sighed, sinking back into the couch.

"Hey, if Cutter was annoyed at you for not sleeping with him, then he's being a pig," Sarah said.

"Oh no, Nick's been brilliant," Jenny informed her quickly. "He's been really understanding and supportive - "

"The fiend," Sarah interjected sarcastically.

"It's me who's the problem," Jenny continued, ignoring her interruption. "I just lose it; and I can feel myself getting nutty, but I can't stop it. I'm pushing him away. I keep starting arguments, and doing stupid things."

"If you let that psychopath get in the way of you and Cutter, I will kill you," Sarah said, slightly aspirated. "It took you both ages to stop being idiots and get together - "

"I know this - "

"And if you let your relationship go, then Brookes has won," Sarah finished.

Jenny sighed, leaning her head back on the cushion.

"He's in my head," she spoke after a while.

"Who?"

"Brookes," she said quietly. "And I can't get him out."

They both sat in silence for a long while, both obviously lost in their own thoughts.

"I need a drink," Sarah said eventually, prizing herself off the couch.

Jenny looked up at her in disbelief.

"It's four-thirty in the morning!" she laughed, checking her watch.

"And?" Sarah asked as she made her way to the kitchen. "If I've got to once again deal with a Jenny-and-Cutter drama, I need a drink."

"But we can't drink this early!"

"It's midday somewhere, right?" Sarah reasoned as she brought in a bottle of wine and two glasses. "And you're the one who woke me up."

"You're a bad influence Dr Paige," Jenny mocked as Sarah poured out the drink.

Sarah handed her a glass.

"Here's to . . ." Sarah thought. " . . . us kicking the crap out of some nutter."

She raised her glass and clinked it with Jenny's; a reluctant smile flickered across the woman's face.

"I never did thank you," Jenny said quietly, looking down at her drink.

"For what?"

"You saved my life," Jenny continued, taking a sip of her drink. "If you wouldn't have showed up, I would be dead right now."

"Well you saved my life too," Sarah pointed out truthfully - she remembered clearly Jenny pulling Brookes off her as he was choking her to within an inch of her life.

"Well I guess I did," Jenny smiled.

They drank in silence for a few moments. Then suddenly, an idea popped into Sarah's head.

"I know how you're going to get over this!" she exclaimed sharply, causing Jenny to spill half her wine on herself in shock.

"What?" Jenny grumbled, dabbing the shirt she was wearing.

"But it might be quite tricky to arrange . . ." Sarah continued.


Okay . . . maybe one more chapter! X