A Ranma fanfic by Mike Breslau
Disclaimer: You know the drill: better folks than I own the characters that appear in this scribbling.
Ryoga trudged across the frozen wasteland, his breath visible as a white
fog. Judging by the penguins, he certainly wasn't in Tokyo anymore.
"Ranma, this is all your fault!" he shouted at the uncaring sky. Although
he really couldn't figure out how it possibly could be Ranma's fault. It
didn't matter - everything bad was always Ranma's fault, and would always
be so, forever and ever.
Ranma decided to postpone the Demon Head for a while and work instead on
Ryoga's Iron Cloth technique. It took less than an hour to duplicate the
technique itself. Having pure ki, and plenty of it, made many things
easier.
"Okay, now how do I improve this technique? 'Iron Skin' could be a neat
armor..." he thought. It turned out to be great armor provided you didn't
need to breathe or move. Ranma dropped that approach quickly. "Maybe lots
of overlapping little scales, like dragon skin?" It was complicated to do,
but it seemed feasible. He could still move and breathe.
"Perhaps I can get that original seamless approach to move with me?" He
took 40 minutes to figure out how to do it. Now it was time for a test.
He manifested a ki claw and tested its sharpness on a nearby rock, and
then - carefully - on his forearm. The rock cut easily, his skin didn't.
Ranma nodded, pleased with himself.
"Iron Air technique?" Ranma applied ki to a film of air just outside his
clothing and dropped the Iron Skin technique. He tested it to make sure it
would move with him. This was more comfortable than hardening his skin -
and it kept the bugs away too. Neat! He tried moving the film of hardened
air a few inches away from his body, an effect that resembled a force
field. Oops - that pushed the ground a little bit away from beneath his
feet, leaving Ranma floating in the air. He got no traction, making it
hard to walk or even remain upright. That was amusing, but not very
practical. He modified this approach so he could still walk on the ground.
Ranma was on a roll now. "Iron Water technique?" There was a brook near
his campsite. Applying ki to the surface of the water allowed Ranma to
walk on water! It was quite slippery, so he either had to stabilize his ki
envelope or improve his balance when walking on turbulent, slippery
surfaces. He chose to do both. The setting sun saw Ranma dancing on the
surface of the brook. This was the life!
Now he had a permanent raincoat. The curse could draw water to him, but he
wouldn't get wet unless he wanted to. Anyone who tried to glomp him would
slide right off his frictionless shield unless he wanted to be glomped.
Ranma went to bed elated. "I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna be the best martial
artist in the world!"
There was a beauty pageant in Kyoto. Happosai made certain that it wasn't
dull.
That brief bit of floating above the ground the day before gave Ranma an
idea. Herb could fly without any wings, using only his abundant ki. Ranma
now had more ki than either Herb or Saffron. Why not try to fly?
During his numerous trips through the sky via Akane Airlines, Ranma had
learned to use brief bursts of ki like rockets to orient his body and
direct his trajectory a little bit. He could reduce his landing speed by
using a little more ki at the last moment. Would simply using ki jets
allow him to take off and fly under his own power? A little
experimentation showed that it could be done, but it took more ki than he
wished to expend.
Could he duplicate Herb's flying technique? In less than an hour he could
fly, but his top speed was only a little faster than he could run. Nice
try, but not too useful.
How about modifying his Iron Air technique, making the enveloping ki
travel upwards and taking him with it? Success! He could now fly fast and
high. Better yet, shaping his outer ki shield into a long slender
streamlined shape allowed him to break the 'sound barrier' and fly really
fast without causing shock waves. Ranma was elated.
Flying was a rush. It was better than surfboarding, motorcycle riding, and
hang gliding combined! The world rushed past him while he skimmed the
treetops and did loop-de-loops. Ranma finally understood what "carefree as
a bird" really meant. The hardest part was stopping.
He was also lost. He had flown far enough that he was having trouble
finding the temporary camp he had been using today. He retraced his path
as best he could, then cloaked himself in the Umi Sen Ken and rose
straight up to get a better view. "I think that's it," he said, "remind me
to take a good look around when I take off so that I can recognize it when
I try to return."
He landed and looked around his campsite. "Come to think of it, why do I
need to come back? I don't need my backpack or things anymore, I can make
what I need when I need it and undo it when I'm done. I'm traveling
light..." Ranma removed all traces of his occupancy from the site, then
rose invisibly into the air and flew twenty miles in a random direction.
"Now let then try to track me!"
Somewhere in China Pantyhose Taro sat on a hilltop and brooded. Changing
his awful name was his highest priority, and then perhaps getting his
revenge upon Ranma Saotome. He began to plan his next trip to Japan.
As he was setting up his new campsite for the evening Ranma heard
something that made his skin crawl. "Meow."
He looked around, feeling very nervous. There was a small grey feral cat
at the edge of his clearing. Ranma reflexively rose six feet into the air.
"What am I doing?" he thought as he fought to hold on to his sanity. "It
can't possibly hurt me - I have the iron skin technique for protection. In
fact, I am the most dangerous animal in the neighborhood."
Years of cringing can be a tough habit to break. Ranma gritted his teeth,
descended to the ground, and slowly, very cautiously approached the
feline. It was the toughest challenge of his training trip. The cat hissed
at him once, but it didn't back away. Ranma paused, then continued to
approach the cat even more slowly. Soon both participants were satisfied
that the other wasn't about to launch an attack. With a sniff the wild cat
turned away and walked off into the forest, tail held high.
Ranma was almost disappointed. He wanted to cure his fear of cats, but he
didn't really want to go through the experience of desensitization (much
the way most people feel about getting an education). He considered
following the feline, then rejected that thought. "Maybe next time..."
"Akane, you look depressed," Nabiki observed.
"Not depressed; thoughtful, I think. Ranma's been gone long enough, and
things have been quiet enough, that I've had time to discover how I really
feel about him."
Nabiki raised an eyebrow.
"I definitely have feelings for him; I'm just not sure what they are. I do
miss him, and I think I might...might even love him," Akane admitted
reluctantly.
"So you've figured out for yourself what's been obvious to everybody
else?"
"Am I that dense? Yes, I guess I am! At the same time he makes me so
mad..."
Nabiki went into wise counselor mode. "Little sister, what you're feeling
is insecurity - which leads to anger, and affection - which leads to
jealousy."
Akane sighed. "I suppose you're right, but what can I do about it? Can I
just tell him how I feel when I'm not even sure myself?"
Nabiki smirked. "Two yen."
"What, only two?"
"Just kidding. First, don't tell him, show him! Actions speak louder than
words. Second, stop pushing him away. Listen to what he has to say before
you bash him. Is he really chasing the other girls, or are they chasing
him? You have to stop letting insecurity and jealousy dictate your
actions. Think before you act."
Now it was Akane's turn to smirk. "You mean I should act more mature than
Ranma does?"
"Yes, little sister, he has to grow up too, and this is a particularly
good time for it."
It was another sunny morning. Ranma was in a clearing in northern Japan.
"Today is a good day for the Demon Head technique," he thought. He
materialized a large mirror propped up by a tree. It took less than half
an hour to duplicate Soun's "dreaded" manifestation.
"So why stop with only the head and neck?" Ranma soon had illusory demon
hands, then demon legs, and finally a demon torso. He looked truly scary.
"Now how about improving this further, and going from illusion to real?
After all, I went from a ki-based hammer to a real one." It didn't take
long to see the problems that would raise. "The 'demon's' head is above my
real one; its air tube and food tube would have to pass through my brain.
Not good. My eyes and ears would be inside the demon's neck...I'd have to
rewire the demon's eyes and ears to my brain..."
Minutes passed. "Baka! I've been changing from one real form to another
several times a day for nearly three years now. All I have to do is
smoothly morph from one form to another. I just need to imitate the way my
Jusenkyo curse works. I already know how to make matter into ki and ki
into matter..."
Soon a real, solid, eight-foot-tall demon roamed the Earth for the very
first time. "This is so neat!" The demon's voice was guttural and
unintelligible. "So it needs work." Ranma changed back to human male form.
"Why limit myself to demons?" In a few minutes he morphed into a shaggy
golden dragon 14 feet long. Asian dragons can fly without wings, and so
could Ranma. He was soon airborne, looping and twisting just above the
treetops. "Herb would be so jealous, and Taro would have a fit if they saw
me now. Whoopee!"
The dragon landed and morphed into Ranma's girl form, complete with girl's
clothing. "This is even better than my curse - now my clothing fits
properly." Ranma halted in surprise. In a bemused voice he exclaimed,
"I've accidentally mastered my curse! All I wanted to do was imitate it,
but now I can have complete control over it. I can even go into shapes
that Jusenkyo has no templates for!"
That evening's meal was a banquet of celebration. He concluded it with an
ice cream sundae while in boy form. Yatta!
Tatewaki Kuno stormed through the echoing halls of his ornate palatial
home. "Sasuke! Where the devil is that servant when I need to speak with
him?"
The diminutive ninja appeared as if by magic. "You called, master?"
"Ah, Sasuke. Tell me, have you seen any sign of that accursed Ranma or my
pig-tailed goddess recently?"
Sasuke sighed. "As you are well aware, Ranma is away on an extended
training trip alone. That means he has not taken the red-haired girl with
him." Sasuke was well aware of Ranma's curse, but had never managed to
convince either of the Kuno siblings of its reality. "The flame-haired
goddess has not been seen since Ranma left. Nobody seems to know where she
is. Perhaps she seeks the company of the missing Ranma?"
"That is not possible," roared Kuno, "I shall forbid it!"
"I don't see how you can prevent it," thought the ninja, "since they are
one and the same." Aloud, "yes, master."
Ranma had camped in a narrow strip of land between the base of a cliff and
a small stream. He was doing his morning katas, only today he was doing
them about a foot above the ground. It was early, he had broken camp and
had yet to have breakfast, the sun was shining, and life was good.
Then the inevitable happened. While nobody could trace Ranma, Ryoga's
utterly random wanderings had brought him within sight of our hero
strictly by chance. Ryoga had not been present in the dojo when Ranma gave
his goodbye speech, so he hadn't heard the "leave me alone" declaration.
Ryoga did not notice that Ranma was floating above the ground. He charged,
maddened, swinging his deadly umbrella, and yelling, "Ranma, prepare to
die!"
Ryoga was expecting Ranma to dodge at the last moment before impact -
that's what he usually did - but instead Ranma merely turned to look at
him and smirked. The umbrella bounced off something unseen and
frictionless just before it reached Ranma's body, leaving Ranma unaffected
and Ryoga fighting to control the umbrella's trajectory, his hand
stinging.
Ranma stood perfectly still, about nine inches above the ground, and
watched with mild amusement as Ryoga launched attack after attack against
him, all futile. Finally, Ranma reached out with one finger. "Bakusai
tenketsu!" The umbrella exploded into a hundred fragments.
Ryoga ground to a halt in fatigue and frustration. "Now look what you've
done. I need that umbrella! Ranma, this is all your fault." He brandished
the useless stub of the handle at his foe. It was only then that he
noticed that Ranma was ignoring the law of gravity and the police had yet
to call him out on it.
"You want it, you can have it," answered Ranma. He held out his hand and a
duplicate of Ryoga's bumbershoot appeared in it. "Here," said Ranma as he
handed Ryoga the new umbrella.
Ryoga stood there looking dumbly at the new umbrella, then the fragments
of his old umbrella littering the ground, then at Ranma still floating in
the air. It began to dawn on him that he was totally outclassed - again!
"Damn it, Ranma, why do you keep setting impossibly high standards?" It
was a rhetorical question.
"Maybe it's because I have to contend with the likes of you, Tatewaki,
Kodachi, Taro, Shampoo, Cologne, Happosai, Herb, Saffron, etc. sometimes
several at once," answered Ranma.
Saffron! Ryoga remembered that he had just challenged the god-slayer. It
was a reflex, but not the wisest idea for those who wished to remain
living. "Point taken, Ranma," Ryoga said as he calmed down. "You have new
techniques?" he asked, sounding tired.
Ranma nodded.
"Any others you care to show me?"
Ranma said nothing, but he turned into a girl, complete with suitable
clothing.
"Would you be willing to teach me those?" Ryoga asked, not really
expecting an affirmative answer.
Ranma surprised him again. "I'd be happy to teach you, old friend. It will
be hard for you to learn, at least in the beginning, but we'll both be
happier in the end."
Ryoga was baffled - not that this was anything new. "Why?"
Ranma explained patiently. "The first step is to get rid of that
depression ki you use and replace it with pure ki - having no emotion.
Pure ki is hard to make, but it's more powerful than emotion-based ki, so
you need less. Besides, that depression-based ki is slowly poisoning you."
"Okay, I can see why it's hard for me to learn. What's in it for you?"
"Once you have your emotions under control you'll realize that you have
nothing to gain by attacking me, and then we can be friends again."
"?" said Ryoga. Loudly.
"Suppose I allowed you to kill me today. How would you feel?"
"Elated, I suppose," Ryoga said, sounding unsure. This was getting into
unfamiliar mental territory.
"Yes, you'd feel glad for the rest of the day. But tomorrow your life
wouldn't be any better: you'd still get lost, you'd still turn into a pig,
and you wouldn't have the driving goal of killing me. Your life would
suddenly be purposeless. Worse, when anything bad happens to you you'll
have to find someone else to blame it on because you just can't accept
that it might be your own fault."
"You make killing you sound like a bad idea," accused Ryoga.
"Just pointing out the obvious. It's amazing what having time to think can
do to clarify one's mind. On the other hand, if you don't kill me then I
can teach you to control your Jusenkyo curse."
"Like you just did?"
Ranma nodded. "And then I'd have a sparring partner closer to my own
level. It's lonely at the top."
Ryoga pondered for a while. It wasn't as if he had anything better to do.
"Can we start today?"
Ranma spent the rest of the day teaching Ryoga how to purify his ki.
"Practice this for a few days, but be careful how you use it - it's strong
stuff. I'll teach you the some more new techniques when we meet again.
Later." Ranma cloaked himself and flew off into the sunset.
Out beyond the Oort Cloud, an alien artifact of indeterminate size
continued to quietly do something incomprehensible. It looked sort of like
a golden moebius strip with jewels embedded in a sandpaper-like surface
texture, but you couldn't be sure because trying to focus on it hurt your
eyes. We need not be too concerned about it, because it does not appear
again in this story.
It was an overcast day, which suited Ranma's mood perfectly. Ranma
considered today's "assignment" with distaste. He was going to imitate,
then improve upon, Happosai's underwear-stealing techniques. "No way I'm
gonna turn into a pervert," he thought. "I don't know exactly how he does
it, but I can think of only two approaches: he could teleport the panties,
bypassing space and whatever lies in his way, or he can interpenetrate it
somehow, two solid bodies moving through each other without resistance.
I'm gonna hafta try it both ways..."
He created a finely-crafted jade urn, and then another one identical to
the first. Ranma had always wanted to explore his artistic side, but Genma
wouldn't let him. He placed the copy on the ground about four feet from
the original. Ranma studied both objects, trying to determine exactly how
they differed. "Okay, let's try this." He moved the "target" urn out of
the way, then concentrated his attention of the other one and tried to
make it similar to the target one before it got moved. At first nothing
happened. Ranma kept trying, and then with a soft pop the original urn
vanished and reappeared where the target urn had been. "That wasn't so
hard," he thought. But, then Ranma looked at his wristwatch and discovered
that the entire morning had gone by while he was figuring out this
"simple" technique.
"Okay, let's see what sort of range I can get out of this." He moved the
target urn eight feet away from the other one and repeated the exercise.
It was harder to focus at that distance, but eventually he managed it. He
moved closer to the target object and then teleported it six feet from its
current position. It was taking longer than he would like to teleport an
object, but he expected to get faster with practice.
By the time Ranma was satisfied the sun was going down. He decided to end
his research for the day and have dinner.
The next day Ranma tried the other approach to mastering Happosai's trick.
He created a silken handkerchief as a stand-in for panties and a square
piece of felt to simulate clothing. He tried to make the silk
insubstantial, but didn't really know how to go about it. After two hours
of trying he could not get the handkerchief to pass through the felt.
"Maybe I should make the felt insubstantial instead." That didn't work
either. "Okay, how about making them both intangible?" After a few minutes
the two pieces of cloth passed through each other effortlessly. Ranma
grinned in satisfaction.
"Now let's see if I can pass it safely through my body." The silk would
not pass through Ranma's unmodified leg. He did the same thing to his
thigh as he had done to the felt - quite carefully checking for pain or
injury. So far so good. Now he could pass the handkerchief through the
flesh and bone of his upper leg without meeting any resistance.
"It's a nice trick, but I don't see how it's useful for martial arts. It's
good for perverts, though. Teleportation is more useful in my opinion." He
spent the remainder of the day exploring and perfecting his two new
techniques.
"What is bothering you, mistress?" asked Sasuke. "You haven't been
yourself these past few weeks."
Kodachi considered. Her ninja servant rarely spoke unless he was invited
to - should he be punished for expressing concern for her, or was she
seriously out-of-sorts? Kodachi sighed. "Life seems to have lost its
sparkle since my beloved took his leave. Tell me, faithful servant, has
any word of Ranma's whereabouts been heard?"
"Nay, my lady. I would have told you at once if there were any word of a
sighting."
Kodachi brightened a little as a plan formed. "Then perhaps I should go
looking for him myself! He must be pining in my absence even as I pine for
him. Ohohoho!"
Sasuke wondered for the 88th time if there was a school that taught
demented madwoman laughter.
Ranma was camped in a clearing in a woody, hilly area. He was doing his
morning katas when he suddenly stopped. He had felt the faintest
suggestion that something was not right - not exactly dangerous, but
anomalous and worthy of attention - and he had learned never to ignore his
danger sense.
He examined his surroundings visually. Nothing. Ranma extended his ki
senses. There - a faint sensation of something hiding where there should
be only empty air. He focused all his attention on the indicated area.
Yes, there was no mistake; something didn't want to be seen. He made a
mental note to ensure that no such defect existed in his own invisibility
techniques. Fully alert now, he called, "You can come out now - I don't
like being spied on."
There was a ladylike sigh, and a woman faded into view. She appeared to be
a gaijin, tall and slender, with light brown hair. She was also floating
two feet above the ground. "I'm sorry to have disturbed you," she said
politely. "You weren't supposed to know I'm here. I mean you no harm."
Ranma evaluated her quickly. She had a power level that exceeded Saffron's
together with the ultra-niceness that marked Kasumi Tendo. Probably a
goddess, Ranma concluded. Par for the course. She didn't appear to be a
threat, at least not now. "Are you here to marry me or kill me?" he asked.
His visitor was taken aback, but controlled it well. "Oh, no. I'm engaged
to someone else, and I would never harm you without a very good reason.
I'm supposed to observe you, that's all, and I mustn't interfere (unless
it's really necessary). It's our policy not to interact with mortals - you
have free will, and must be allowed to make your own destiny."
Ranma felt reassured. "So why are you watching me, if you're not supposed
to interfere?"
"I have to determine if you're a danger, and if you need to be watched
more closely."
"Danger to what?" asked Ranma, "At my power level I could be vary
dangerous..."
The goddess was reluctant to go into details. "You have enough power to be
a danger to the whole world; you could do damage that would be very
difficult to repair. Fortunately, you have a very strong sense of honor,
and that should be protection enough." She tactfully refrained from
mentioning Saffron.
Ranma thought about his past actions. "Yeah, for as long as I can remember
I've tried to help and not do any harm. It's not something my pop taught
me, it seems to be my own instinct."
The two of them talked for the entire morning, reviewing Ranma's life and
how he felt about it. The goddess revealed as little as possible about
herself, not even her name. Ranma was glad for her company and didn't
press her for details, except for one question: "Don't you have other
means of finding out about me without having to visit me in person?"
"We know everything you've done, and everything that's happened to you.
But, we don't record your thoughts, your feelings, or your motivations.
Those are most easily determined by watching you in person."
They finished reviewing the highlights of Ranma's life so far - the
curses, the conflicting demands of honor, and the endless line of new and
more powerful challengers. The goddess was a sympathetic listener, but
could contribute no suggestions.
"What I don't understand," muttered Ranma, "is where these ridiculously
strong martial artists all come from. Why is each one more dangerous than
the last?"
"That might be your fault indirectly, Ranma," replied the goddess.
Ranma was confused. "How could I do that? I certainly never intended to."
"There seems to be a balancing principle at work in the universe.
Superheroes breed supervillians of comparable power. Where would Batman be
without the Joker, or Superman without Luthor?"
Ranma seemed to get it. "Without obstacles to overcome, heroes are just
ordinary guys. Am I a hero? I always felt I was a victim..."
She smiled sadly yet again. "Remember, that parade of challengers has made
you what you are today. Without Herb and Saffron you could never have
become as good as you are now."
Finally, Ranma summarized what was really bothering him the most. "As a
martial artist, I have no equal. I'm the best there is, and I'm proud of
it. But, every evening I think about my life and my future. As a man - or
even as a woman - I'm a complete failure. I have no schooling to speak of,
a useless father, few friends, if any, and too many fiancees. I don't even
know anyone who could be considered normal. I've never even seen a couple
in a normal loving relationship, so I really have no idea what love is.
How am I supposed to tell whether I love someone?"
The goddess nodded. "I've heard that when you're really in love you stop
asking what love is. You have some serious concerns there. At least you
are aware of them and will try to correct these deficiencies."
"You know, I sure could use some normal friends. Do you know of anyone
who's reasonably normal and well adjusted, friendly, and with a high
tolerance for weirdness, someone who might become my friend?"
His visitor hesitated - this would go beyond her "don't interfere"
directive. Finally she shook her head and said, "I'm sorry, I can't help
you with that."
Ranma thanked her, he hadn't been expecting even that much help. His
visitor said her goodbyes and teleported away. Ranma sat and pondered -
what did it signify that the gods were watching over him?
Author's Notes
Ranma and Ryoga have a curious love/hate relationship. Ranma doesn't hate
anyone, of course, but Ryoga will always come to the aid of his rival when
needed. Yet, Ryoga keeps fooling himself into thinking that he hates
Ranma. Ryoga should seek professional help...
About the goddess: yes, there will be covert divine influences in this
story, but they will be minimal. Any resemblance to Oh My Goddess! is
purely coincidental.
