Multiplicity
A Ranma fanfic by Mike Breslau
Disclaimer: You know the drill: better folks than I own the characters that appear in this scribbling.
The next morning Nodoka went to visit the Tendos. The sky was overcast and
gloomy, which suited her mood perfectly. Kasumi opened the door just
before Nodoka could knock.
"Good morning, Auntie," said Kasumi brightly, "Ranma told us that you were
coming over."
A shiver ran down Nodoka's spine. The Tendos were waiting for her. They
looked happy, not sad. Weren't they aware that Ranma had died? "Good
morning to you, Kasumi, Soun." She walked slowly into the living room. All
of the Tendos were there. "I am afraid that I bring sad news. Yesterday
Ranma fulfilled the contract he signed when he was six years old, and has
committed ritual suicide. His final wish was that I absolve him from all
engagements and obligations of honor. I have freed him as he requested."
With great effort she resisted breaking into tears.
The mood of the Tendos seemed unaffected, almost as if they hadn't heard
her. Kasumi spoke sympathetically, "That must have been quite stressful
for you. How do you feel about it?"
Nodoka thought and replied, "Proud that he didn't shirk his
responsibilities, sad that I have lost my only child, sorry that he didn't
turn out manly enough, angry at Genma for not raising Ranma properly..."
"We think Ranma is more than manly enough," answered Kasumi, turning to
the others she asked, "Don't you agree?" Everyone but Nodoka nodded. "Do
you regret holding Ranma to his contract?" asked Kasumi softly.
Nodoka drew herself up ramrod-straight. "Honor is the most important thing
in the world to me - honor is what makes everything else in life possible.
Sometimes you just have to take the good with the bad."
Nabiki spoke up. "I don't think you knew Ranma as well as you thought you
did, Auntie. We all underestimated him, and didn't realize what a prize he
was. For example, I classified him as a 'dumb jock,' and wow, was I ever
wrong!"
Now Akane chimed in. "Ranma is beyond amazing, Auntie. 'Unique' and
'incredible' doesn't begin to cover it. I used to accuse him of being a
pervert and a two-timing womanizer. I was wrong, and I regret my
mistakes."
"Why are you all speaking in the present tense?" asked Nodoka. "He's
dead!" She began to tear up, but would not allow herself to cry.
"Do you wish Ranma was still alive?" asked Kasumi gently.
"I wish he hadn't disappointed me so that I'd have to hold him to his
contract. Yes, I do wish things were otherwise and my child was alive and
well."
Kasumi responded, "Perhaps you should sit down, Saotome-san. You see,
Ranma wouldn't let something as insignificant as dying get in his way.
Yes, he killed himself yesterday, but he is alive and well today. Are you
prepared to meet him again?"
Nodoka sat in a state of shock and confusion. Finally, she nodded.
Ranma walked out of the kitchen with a smile on his lips and a twinkle in
his eye. "Good morning, Mother. I hope you are well."
Nodoka fainted.
"That went well," observed Nabiki wryly.
Ranma caused Nodoka's body to float across the room and settle comfortably
on the couch. They all waited for her to revive.
Nodoka stirred. "I just had a strange dream..."
"No dream, Mother. I am here, alive, and well." Ranma's voice sounded
amused.
Nodoka sat upright. Sounding almost angry, she asked, "Did you fake your
death yesterday, Son?"
"No, Mother, I really died last night, and it really hurt too. But, it
didn't hurt as much as believing I had failed to live up to your
expectations."
Nodoka was experiencing cognitive dissonance. "How can you be alive and
dead at the same time?"
Ranma sat down comfortably, floating two feet above the floor. Nodoka's
eyes bulged. "I didn't explain everything that happened on my recent
training trip. I used the time to reinvent and improve upon every martial
arts technique that I had ever heard of. For instance, Herb can fly using
his ki, and now I can fly better than he can. I killed Saffron, and he
came back from the dead..."
Nodoka felt dizzy. "You're immortal?" she gasped.
"Only if I wanna be," confessed Ranma.
Nodoka thought of someone else who was said to have returned from the
dead. "So, can you walk on water too?"
Ranma smiled at the memory. "Mother, I have danced on water! It was a
glorious feeling." He paused, then continued, "I have begun to master my
fear of cats and come to terms with the nekoken. I have tamed, but not
cured, my Jusenkyo curse, and adapted it to my own use. Watch this!"
He dropped to all fours as his body grew and morphed. Ranma was now a roan
pony, with intermixed black and red hairs in his fur. The effect was
exotic, but quite handsome. "Behold the wild horse," said the pony.
Nodoka fainted.
"Oh my!" said Kasumi, hoping that he didn't shed or otherwise make a mess.
Ranma morphed back to his male human form and helped his mother revive.
"Ooh...I hope you don't have any more shocks in store, Ranma," moaned
Nodoka.
Nabiki grinned her "I've got a secret" smile.
"Oh, I've saved the biggest one for last, but we can wait a while if
you're not feeling up to it yet," answered Ranma.
"Worse than turning into a horse?" asked Nodoka. She looked at the
expressions on the faces of the others and knew that a really big secret
awaited her. She steeled herself. "Okay, I'm ready now..."
The Ranma in the living room began, "You see, the Amazons have a ki
technique that permits them to create illusionary copies of themselves..."
A Ranma came down the stairs saying, "But my improved technique creates
real, solid copies of myself..."
A Ranma came in the front door and added, "All my copies can move and
think independently..."
Another Ranma phazed through the living room wall and concluded, "There is
still only one mind among us. We can all know and experience everything
any of my other copies does."
Nodoka was too stunned to even consider fainting. She sat there like a
statue, her mind evidently locked in a tight loop. After a minute her
eyes began to blink rapidly.
The four Ranmas chorused, "I think I can claim to be four times more manly
than anyone else, Mother."
Dazed, Nodoka could only nod her head. Kasumi quietly brought her a cup of
calming tea. Everyone waited politely. Finally, Nodoka asked, "Why didn't
you tell me all this yesterday, Son? Why did you put me through the trauma
of cutting off your head?"
"First, I had to demonstrate that I was honorable enough to uphold my end
of the contract even though it was stupid," said one of the Ranmas.
"Second, I wanted to get rid of the contract, the multiple engagements,
and all the other entanglements I was ensnared in," said another.
Nodoka nodded and finished her tea. Her hand was trembling, but she
managed to not spill a drop.
Three of the Ranmas left to attend to other business. The forth took a
deep breath and began, "Mother, I heard what you said about honor, and I
have to respectfully disagree."
Nodoka was ramrod straight in an instant. "What do you mean?" she asked
icily.
"Do you agree that only Kami-sama is perfect; you and I are human and
therefore imperfect?"
That was self-evidently true. Nodoka nodded.
"Only Kami-sama is capable of the ultimate and absolute knowledge; you and
I are too limited to have the ultimate knowing. Our minds are too weak to
know what He knows."
That was also self-evident, but slightly disturbing.
"Now Kami-sama has given us mortals freewill, for reasons which we cannot
know, but it must be very important to Him. This includes giving us the
possibility of error, the ability to make mistakes."
Nodoka had to agree. She didn't like where this was going.
"Therefore, being human, we do not have the comfort of absolute knowledge,
and we do have the freedom to make errors. It follows that we must always
keep in mind that we are not infallible; that even the things we are most
certain of may not be entirely true. Mother, while I consider honor to be
quite important, I must reject your absolutist view of honor. In fact, I
have to reject all absolutist dogmas."
Nodoka could find no rebuttal. "But..." She fell silent.
Ranma drove the point home. "Shampoo comes from a culture that is even
more strict about honor than we are. Her honor requires me to be her
husband; my honor required me to be engaged to Akane. Is Amazon honor less
important than Japanese honor because she is a foreigner here? If so, what
happens to my honor when I visit China? What happens when honor conflicts
with honor?"
Nodoka had no reply. The foundations of her world view had just been
shaken by her returned-from-the-dead, impossibly accomplished, child.
Finally, she softly said, "I will have to think about this."
After her visit to the Tendos Nodoka was given a ride home riding bareback
on a flying roan Pegasus. It was a unique and exhilarating experience.
The next morning Ranma, dressed in a proper school uniform, went to
Furinkan High School. His old classmates were all seniors now; almost all
the former senior class had graduated. Unfortunately, Tatewaki Kuno was
still outside the school waving his boken and harassing the other
students. Ranma had thought long and hard about how to handle Kuno. Ranma
didn't want to battle any ordinary martial artists; he would have trouble
holding back enough to avoid killing them. Simply hitting Kuno, no matter
how hard, wouldn't do any good. Further, any display of extraordinary
talent would just reinforce Kuno's belief that he was a "foul sorcerer."
When Kuno challenged him Ranma merely stopped and smiled. Ignoring the
delusional kendoist, Ranma produced four brightly colored balls and began
to juggle. Every time Tatewaki swung his sword Ranma managed to dodge it,
making his moves look like part of his juggling routine instead of a
martial art maneuver. Kuno was furious at being ignored; he struck faster
and faster with mounting fury - and was studiously ignored. Ranma produced
two more balls and continued juggling.
When Kuno tried a low sweep aimed at Ranma's legs he found his boken
trapped underneath Ranma's heel. Ranma seemed to be unaware of what he had
done - it was all part of his juggling routine - in fact, he wasn't even
looking at Kuno. When the warning bell rang Ranma ended his performance.
He tossed a green ball to Tatewaki, caused the other balls to vanish, and
went into the school. Kuno stood there seething, furious that his hated
foe considered him too insignificant to even look at. It was only later
that he noticed that his ball bore the inscription, "you lose."
Ignoring the gawking of the students who knew him, Ranma went to the
administrative offices. He told the clerk who greeted him that he wanted
to return to taking classes. The clerk looked disturbed and directed him
to the vice-principal.
"That would be a problem," said the vice-principal. "Your classmates are
seniors now; you have missed nearly a year and would have to be moved into
the current junior class. Actually, it might be better for you to wait for
the next term to begin and then join next year's junior class. You'll have
to talk to the principal to make such an arrangement."
"That's okay, I'm in no rush," replied Ranma. After all, he had all the
time in the world. "By the way, why is Tatewaki still here? Shouldn't he
have graduated by now?"
The vice-principal made a sour face. "Mr. Kuno's academic performance did
not warrant his graduation."
Ranma thanked him and knocked on the door of the principal's office.
"What are you doing here, keiki?" asked Principal Kuno gruffly, "I'd
thought we were rid of you."
"I want to return to class and complete my education," replied Ranma
blandly.
"No can do," said the principal. "You've missed too much school and caused
too much trouble."
"I was thinking of joining next year's junior class when the new term
begins, and until then I'd like to use the school library for self-study,
if that's okay with you. I'll try not to cause any trouble."
The coco-nut leaned forward. "Are you tellin' me that you, Ranma Saotome,
who sleeps through class when he's not causin' trouble, actually want an
education?"
"Yes. Here I am at the doorstep of adulthood, and I realized that my
education is sorely lacking. It's not my fault; I blame my Pop who is also
responsible for much of the trouble that I get into. I want to do better."
The principal leaned back in his chair. "Haw haw. Hmm. You'd be two years
older than your classmates, an' you have a reputation. It won't be easy."
Ranma morphed into a mousy young female student with the proper girl's
uniform. "I could enroll under a false name, if you'd let my records
appear under my real name at graduation. None of the students would know
it's me."
Principal Kuno collected his jaw back from the desktop. "How you do dat?"
"Remember my Jusenkyo curse? I've tamed it now - no more unpleasant
surprises. That's part of the reason I think I can avoid making trouble."
"Awright, wahini, I'm willing to give it a try. What name do you propose
to use?"
"How about 'Kitti Kato?'" asked Ranma. She tried to put on a slightly
feline expression.
The principal slammed his fist on the table. "Done. You'll start next
semester as a junior, and you can use the library till then as long as you
keep out of trouble." He tossed a pineapple to the disguised Ranma.
"Here's a token of my appreciation, wahini. Heh."
Ranma quickly ate the pineapple, rind, leaves, and all. Then she burped.
"Excuse me," she muttered.
The principal gawked until the little palm tree on his head exploded.
Ranma morphed back to his original form and left, smiling.
In another universe Nightmare had encountered a society of warrior/priests
who chose to resist him. Nightmare was not worried - indeed, he lacked the
capacity to worry - the fact that he was still alive was proof enough that
he had always triumphed in the past. Besides, the taste of fear in the ki
of his victims was so delicious. Ordinary ki was merely nutrition,
terrified ki was a real treat for such as he.
As he was leaving the school Ranma was attacked again by the True Blunder.
"Vile miscreant, thou shall not escape my wrath. I strike!"
Ranma yawned, still evading Kuno's blows without seeming to move. "You
need a new speech writer, Kuno. You're getting boring and predictable."
"Die!" commanded the enraged kendoist, redoubling his attack.
Ranma lazily waved his hand. Kuno's sword, and all his clothing too,
vanished leaving Tatewaki clad only in a pink bra and panties with a
"Hello Kitty" logo. Ranma smirked and whistled, then walked away
calmly.
For once Tatewaki was speechless. He stood there paralyzed with
embarrassment and tried to cover himself.
"Kick a fool and he'll come back for more. Humiliate him and he'll be more
circumspect in the future," mused Ranma.
Later at the Kuno mansion, after Tatewaki had been rescued by his faithful
ninja, there was a rare conflict brewing. Sasuke was refusing a direct
order - that was unheard-of!
"I said, go to the basement and bring me the Musashi sword," Tatewaki
insisted.
Sasuke would not budge. "That sword is much too dangerous, Master - it
will eat your very soul! My grandfather swore he would protect your
grandfather and all his descendants, and I am bound by that oath. I will
not give you a weapon that will destroy you!"
"Then I'll go fetch it myself," insisted Kuno.
Sasuke attempted to restrain him. "You mustn't, Master. Desist in this
foolishness, and use your head..."
Kuno struck his servant. "Unhand me, knave. My cause is just, and you must
not delay me." He hurried away and ran down the stairs.
In a dusty corner of the basement, Tatewaki carefully unlocked a sealed
and booby-trapped oaken door. The chamber beyond was dark and foreboding -
no light, however bright, would shine far through the gloom. A giant
spiderweb blocked his way; Kuno brushed it aside with a boken. Tatewaki
found the secure safe he sought in a corner, surrounded by spirit wards.
Removing the seals, he opened the safe and withdrew a plain-looking katana
that seemed to emit a malevolent dim flickering orange glow. Kuno chuckled
triumphally, not realizing how demented his laughter sounded. He ignored
the slight burning sensation wherever the weapon made contact with his
skin.
Ranma was having another after-hours conversation with Dr. Tofu. "Can you
tell me, Sensei, what do women want?"
Tofu laughed. "That is one of the world's most famous unanswered
questions, Ranma. Even a woman couldn't answer it!"
Ranma raised an eyebrow. "Really? Why not?"
"Because much of what a woman wants is outside her awareness, which means
that it's unknown to her."
"..." said Ranma. Loudly.
Tofu continued, "I can't answer the question, but I can give you the tools
to understand and approach an answer. Ranma, much of the behavior of
women, and of men for that matter, is motivated by the need for
reproductive success. That means more than just having children - it means
having offspring who are healthy and successful enough to have
grandchildren and great grandchildren. If it were not so, there would soon
be no more people."
"You're telling me that even women who say they don't want children really
want to have kids and don't know it?"
The doctor answered obliquely, "Consider an earthworm. It does whatever it
has to do in order to make more earthworms. Or consider a pine tree - it
does whatever it can to make more pine trees. Do you think that the worm
or the tree knows that it wants to reproduce? You don't even need to have
a mind to feel this drive. You and I have this essential drive too,
whether we know it or not."
Tofu continued, "For humans, reproductive success means much more than
becoming pregnant and giving birth. Of all the species on Earth, only
humans need 16 to 20 years of education to become a successful adults and
parents. A woman needs a healthy and dependable mate - healthy to give her
strong babies; dependable to support her while she has her hands full
taking care of the kids for 20 years."
"So women want strong and dependable men? Why are so many of them after
me? Sure, I'm strong, but am I dependable with the life I lead?"
"Oh yes, you're dependable. You're kind and caring, your sense of honor is
strong, and you always try to do the right thing. Why if I were ten years
younger and female, I would chase you myself."
"Don't go there, Doc," replied Ranma hastily.
Tofu laughed. "Relax, Ranma, my heart belongs to another. There's more to
the story, though. A woman has approximately 400 opportunities to become
pregnant in her entire lifetime, then it's all over. In contrast, a man
produces enough sperm in his lifetime to impregnate every woman on Earth.
Can you see what that implies?"
Ranma thought "I guess that explains Hiroshi and Daisuke." Aloud, he
replied, "I guess it would mean a girl is selective about whom she beds,
while a guy would have the urge to make it with every girl he could.
Doesn't that conflict with the 'dependable mate' part?"
"Yes, it does conflict. Biologically a man wants to be promiscuous; by
training and culture a man is taught to stay faithful to his wife or
wives. Often, that faithfulness fails and causes much unhappiness.
Remember, sometimes women are also unfaithful if their men don't take
proper care of them."
"You make it sound as if everything revolves around reproduction, Sensei."
Tofu nodded. "To a great degree, it does. Men pursue wealth and power
because those things are attractive to women. Women strive for beauty
because it attracts men. You try to be the best martial artist because
that would make you the alpha male, and then you would attract lots of
mates."
Ranma observed, "The Amazons care a lot about strong husbands, but they
don't seem to value 'dependability.'"
"The Amazons are an anomaly. They suppress males and keep them tightly
controlled in their matriarchal society. They enforce dependability. It's
a model that hasn't been successful for anyone else."
"Yeah, it's usually the women who are controlled and suppressed. Why is
that? Is it just because men are usually stronger? It's unfair!"
Tofu steepled his fingers. "When a baby is born everybody knows who its
mother is. Without a DNA test, which wasn't possible until recently,
nobody can be sure who the father is. Indeed, if a woman was promiscuous
even she can't tell who the father is! A man does not want to support and
raise another man's child, so he tries to control his women to reduce the
chances of extramarital sex."
"Okay, I can understand that, even if I don't approve. Wouldn't a grownup
successful man want a wife who was as mature and capable as he is? I want
a wife who's my equal, and I fear there may not be any..."
Tofu smiled. "Well, that's a sign of maturity, Ranma. As for finding a
wife or wives who are at your level, well, that's an exercise left for the
student."
"Thanks, Sensei. You've given me a lot to think about."
Author's Notes
As I have mentioned elsewhere, I can't believe that Ranma is as stupid as
he often seems to be. He is woefully ignorant thanks to Genma's malodorous
upbring, but it takes real brains to do some of the things Ranma has done
(such as inventing new techniques on the fly.) In this story Ranma has
extra brains to think with...
As you may have noticed, I don't post stories until they are finished.
I don't want to leave my readers hanging...
