Chapter 27
Once Brandon sets down the mugs on the coffee table Kelly is walking into the living room, but stops by the entryway.
"Hey, tea will be done in a few minutes," Brandon says. Then he walks over to her and puts out his hand, "Is Sammy asleep?"
Kelly takes his hand and allows him to walk her over to the couch, "yeah, he's completely out."
As they sit down, Kelly keeps her distance, but is still holding onto his hand, "Brandon….you need to know ….that I do need you more than I know or even have ever realized. I want to lean on you I just….I just don't know how to again. It's been so long since we have actually been together and we both know that things were far from prefect. It's still just been two weeks since you've been back and I love how diligently and patient you have been with me this last week because I'm just still adjusting that you're actually here in front of me. It's like I know you, you're still the same person when we dated, but there's all of these new things about you that I don't know. And my brain is trying to play catch up with my heart because my heart knows and always has known that it belongs to you. But my brain doesn't realize that it's been capture again by this totally new being that is still part of the old. But it helps that I can talk to you as I hold your hand everyday instead of having to write in a notebook so I could remember everything that I wanted to share with you while trying not to dwell on how much I've missed living our lives together."
"Kel, I know it's a big adjustment for everyone, especially Sammy. I feel like I've missed so much of your life and I hate it that there are things that I don't know because I used to know everything about you. I also hate it that I've missed everything in Sammy's life. But Kel, it's okay because we will adjust. Everything may not always be prefect as we want it to be, but as long as we lean on each other and stick together through the good, bad, and ugly then we'll be just fine," Brandon says as they both have tears in their eyes.
"Can I ask you a question?" Kelly asks him.
"Yeah of course, anything," Brandon tells her.
"When did you become so sure of us? Especially after the non-wedding," Kelly asks looking directly at him.
"Well, it's been a long process. Since I left that morning in New Orleans, I immediately started to do a lot of thinking once I got settled onto the plane. I think writing the journal as it was addressed to you got me wanting to come find you first thing off the island even more. My time there, really gave me a chance to process how I really felt during our relationship compared to how I felt after I left LA. By spending time with you in New Orleans ignited like this fire inside of me to really examine everything about myself and you while I was also learning from the natives how they live their lives. I saw how much they actually knew about themselves and how to care for their relationships. It gave me the opportunity to discover why I felt so much better about being alive while you were in my life everyday. But I also got discouraged a lot because I would be thinking and dreaming about you, but I couldn't have you there with me, so it was like you became a figment of my imagination. It was the picture that kept me straight in remembering that you weren't just in my mind and what we had was real. And that we both decided that getting married that young wasn't the wisest decision for us. It was then when I was finally able to not regret leaving LA. And, finally the moment that I became absolute certain of us was two weeks ago when we meet on the beach. When you told me that ever since Sammy was conceived that you haven't even tried to date or move on with anyone else. That's when I knew that you have felt the same about our relationship and neither of us are really going to be truly happy without each other. I know that things are going to be hard, but we got to be willing not to give up on each other, be honest, and fight for our relationship," Brandon finishes. "Now Kelly, I have a question for you, well actually two."
"Okay," Kelly says.
"First, what made you decide that it didn't feel right to try to move on past me after you, Steve, and my parents couldn't find me?" Brandon asks.
"Because I knew that I still loved you. It was hard enough just looking at Sammy because he reminded me so much of you that I almost couldn't care for him right after he was born. I don't know what I would have done without your parents. He would constantly cry whenever I held him when I was tired or couldn't get my mind off of you. It got to the point that every time I held him, he would just burst out in tears. Until your mom took this old blanket, wrapped Sammy in it and placed him in my arms. As he just stared up at me with the hugest eyes, she told me that it was your old baby blanket. It was then when I realized how strong of a connection he has with you and that I couldn't try to break that with dating some random guy. We had never received a death notice from the paper, so I knew that I would just have to wait to see what would happen.
"And for the second, are you and have you been happy?" Brandon asks his second question.
"Simply, yes because Sammy is my happiness; he's able to brighten up my day no matter what. I know it's not only because he is my child, but because he reminds me of some of the best times in my life and that was when you still lived in LA because he is part of you. Nothing else has ever been able to compare to how both you and Sammy have made me feel. I wasn't ever sure of anything in my personal life until after Sammy was born," Kelly says.
"Good, it makes me happy that you are happy Kelly," Brandon tells her before going in for a kiss because Kelly looks down in her lap instead.
"What's wrong," Brandon asks suddenly really confused.
Kelly looks back up, "I want to tell you that on Thursday night, I wasn't actually with the girls. Instead I decided to go to that abandoned lifeguard tower to try to process what has been happening and why I was having those nightmares again? But I was also trying to find a way that I could take care of them on my own because one, I didn't want you or Silver to ever know and two, I didn't want to bother you with my problems as we are still trying to get to know each other again," Kelly tells truthfully.
Brandon takes a moment, "Thank you for being honest. Kel, you have never been a bother to me and never will be because I love you and care for you deeply. It's my hope that we both can tell and ask each other anything. We may not be able to give each other what we want, but I want to try my best to give you everything that you deserve," Brandon says.
"How did I become ever so lucky to have you in my life? Brandon, I love you and need you so much!" Kelly says.
"I love you too, I think the real question is how did I become ever so lucky to have you in my life?" Brandon states.
"I don't know, but I'm happy and overjoyed that you're here. Can I ask you one more thing tonight?" Kelly says.
Brandon gets a wide grin, "only if I can kiss you now?"
Kelly leans in for a gentle and sweet kiss and afterwards she asks, "Stay tonight and hold me," Kelly looks directly at him with pleading eyes, "I don't think I'll be able to sleep without you here. And I really need it, I'm so tired since I've been avoid sleep."
"Hey come here," as he wraps his arms around her, "there's nothing more than I would enjoy than staying here with you. Come on lets head on upstairs, it's been a long day."
After they move Sammy into his own bed, Brandon changes out of his jeans and shoes, leaving on only his boxers and a white undershirt. When they settle into the bed, Kelly rests her head on his chest and after a moment Brandon asks, "You comfortable enough?"
"Hmm Mmm, more so that I have been in ages. God, Brandon, I've miss being here like this with you so much!" Kelly comments.
"I've missed it too. It feels so good to have you lying here in my arms again." Brandon starts to gently rubbing her back.
"Thank you, Brandon," Kelly says.
"It's my pleasure…now close your eyes okay. I'm here and nothing bad is going to happen…I won't let it," he says. After a couple of minutes Brandon can start to feel Kelly's breathe slow down as she fall asleep and he soon falls asleep after a few more minutes.
The next morning at about six o'clock Kelly starts to stir awake because her body is so used to waking up early, but as she feels an odd hold around her and starts to struggle thinking that she is dreaming again. Kelly's wiggling around and softly saying, "No," waking up Brandon and he quickly realizes what is happening.
As he tightens his arms around her, "Shh….Kelly, it's okay. It's only me Brandon, remember?"
Kelly suddenly opens her eyes looking directly at Brandon, "Brandon," she says softly.
"Yeah, it's me," Brandon says as he brushes a piece of hair out of her face.
Kelly lifts her right hand to gently touch Brandon's face, "you're really here, and this isn't a dream?"
"I'm really here, it's no dream" Brandon whispers to her.
"Good, I was really scared for a moment," Kelly says as she lies her head back down on Brandon's chest.
"It's okay, close your eyes again," Brandon says.
"Sammy will be up soon though I need to get up," Kelly says sleepy.
"Last night, I asked Silver to get up early and watch him so you can catch up on some much needed rest," Brandon says quietly.
"Thank you," Kelly says as she shifts slightly to become more comfortable.
"You're welcome, now sleep in as long as you need, and I'll be right here."
They continue to sleep in until about ten o'clock in the morning, when Kelly begins to stir wake, she remember exactly where she is and who is with her this time as she feels peace settling in her mind, body, and soul. She moves slightly to give Brandon a kiss on the cheek to wake him up. Even though he was already slightly wake, he is just enjoying the comfortable feeling of holding Kelly again in bed.
As she gives him the small kiss, he whispers, "Morning beautiful, how do you feel?"
"I feel like I could stay here all day with you," Kelly returns the whisper.
"Hmm, that good, lets just do that," Brandon says.
They remain like for a couple more minutes until Kelly stomach growls, "I think my stomach is trying to say something, what time is it?"
Brandon opens his eyes again to look behind his shoulder at the clock, "A little after ten."
"Wow, I can't remember the last time I slept in this long…probably before Sammy was born."
"Well, I guess we will just have to do this again sometime then. But why don't we go find some food and see what Sammy and Silver are up to. I'm a bit hungry myself," Brandon says.
"Okay, there should be leftovers from yesterday's breakfast in the freezer," Kelly says as she gets up to put on a robe over her satin pajamas.
For the rest of the day, Brandon, Kelly, Silver, and Sammy just hung out the house relaxing and playing. Brandon finally had a chance to tell Kelly the details about the liaison manager at the Wyatt Foundation. They also have a chance to plan their trip to New York that is coming up in a week in half. Kelly also asks Brandon to stay with her at night to hold her for the next couple of evenings. Though they know they can't have intercourse yet because Sammy is in the house, but also because Brandon needs to go to doctor to make sure he has a clean bill of health and not have HIV, AIDS, or any other unknown diseases. But it's taking awhile to get an appointment because of the red tape by the insurance companies since he technically isn't covered by his job anymore.
