Note To Readers- I just want to warn you right now, this chapter is going to be a bit-morose. But it's all part of my plan, my 'writers block' had passed; I know what I want to write and how to write it. -Alayna
Mickey didn't leave his apartment very often; he just sat on the couch and played xbox, ate microwaved food and cups of jello. He rarely showered; he had gotten used to the smell of himself. The only people who came to see him were Mandy and Lip; Mandy was fucking huge, the baby, a little girl, was due in less than a month. Mickey had spoken to Gallagher via webcam once a week, every week since they had started doing it.
Once fucking Fiona showed up at Mickey's door; he didn't let her in. She stood outside yelling at him, saying that she wanted to talk to him; he ignored her, kept killin' shit on the game he was playing.
Over the course of the last six months Mickey had only left his apartment three times. Mandy usually brought him groceries and cigarettes and booze, lots and lots of booze. She didn't like getting him alcohol, he was drunk pretty much all the time, she had once said that he was turning into Terry; he told her to fuck off, said that if she didn't like him drinking then she didn't need to come over and move.
The three times he had gone out; he always went to the same place, the same corner store he had gone to when he had first gotten back to Chicago. The first time he went to the store he bought three bottles of vodka, two twenty-four packs of cheap beer, a bottle of bourbon and two carton's of cigarettes. The following two times he went to the store the amount of alcohol and cigarettes doubled.
Mickey felt out of place, he felt like he wasn't himself anymore.
He was depressed; anyone could see that. Mandy and Lip both thought that he was depressed because of Ian; but it was so much more than that.
Mickey felt worthless. He wasn't wanted or needed by anyone. Sure Mandy said she needed him, but she was a big girl, she could take care of herself, and she had Lip. What did she need Mickey for? Nothing.
Ian needed him; he didn't need Mickey to protect him, he could protect himself, but he still needed Mickey. They kept each other sane; they loved each other.
Sane, yes Mickey was completely sane; not even close to it.
Mickey felt like he was constantly suffocating; he couldn't breathe. The alcohol and the nicotine helped, made him feel numb; made him forget for a while.
Some days when Mickey felt so completely helpless, he would do stupid shit; purposely burn himself with a cigarette, shallowly cut himself with a knife, leave the lighter light lit too long and touch it to the flesh of his arm.
He felt stupid when he did it; but it felt good. He would clean up the wound and it would make him feel like he wasn't completely useless, like he could still do something.
It was a thursday; around five thirty in the afternoon, when Mickey's cell phone rang. It was Lip.
"What the fuck do you want?"
"It's Mandy," Mickey interrupted him.
"What about her?" He was worried about his sister, he knew she was about ready to pop, but she was still early.
"We're at the hospital. The baby's coming, right now."
Fuck.
"She isn't supposed to come for like another month."
Mick didn't want any thing bad to happen to his sister or his niece.
"Yea, the baby is early, but she should be fine. Just Mandy wants you here."
"I'll be there in a few minutes."
"Mick, I gotta ask, are you drunk?"
"Fuck, who gives a shit if I'm drunk?"
"I do, I don't want you coming here if you're fucking drunk." Mickey snorted.
"I've only had like three beers today, I'm fine. I'll be there soon, Mandy wants me."
"Yea okay, well no more fucking beer." Mickey hung up the phone and ran to change his clothes and shower, he didn't want to show up at the hospital smelling like sweat, cheap alcohol and stale cigarettes.
His shower took less than five minutes. He dressed in under two.
He was going to take the El, but figured it would be faster if he just ran; it wasn't logical but his brain was cloudy, and his thoughts were racing.
Mandy needed him.
It was still a little bit cold outside since it was early April. His lungs hurt from the cold, but he kept running.
He got to the hospital pretty quickly.
"I need to know what room my baby sister is in?" He was trying to be polite, he still sounded like a dick.
"Name?" The receptionist was an old grey haired woman.
"Milkovich, Mandy Milkovich." The woman nodded.
"Fifth floor, room number One seventy-six." He didn't say thank you or anything just ran to the elevator.
He walked into Mandy's room, she was laying in the bed, hooked up to an IV and some monitor, Mickey guessed it was keeping track of the baby, but he wasn't sure.
"Mick, you came." Mandy sounded tired.
"Of course I did, why wouldn't I?" He sat down in the chair across from her, Lip was sitting next to her.
She smiled at him.
"Maybe you aren't like Terry after all." Mickey growled low in his throat.
"You know I'm not like him." She laughed.
"Of course not."
"Look Mandy I don't want to get into an argument with you right now." He was trying to be nice to his sister, she was in a hospital bed for fucks sake.
"I know Mick, I'm sorry. I just-" He stopped her.
"No Mandy, it's fine, don't apologize. I know what's wrong, I know why you're upset. Just calm down okay?"
She nodded. Mickey looked toward Lip, he was just sitting there, he looked a bit surprised at how Mickey was acting. Lip looked a bit on edge as well, but more than that he looked happy; fuck why wouldn't he be? His daughter was going to be born, even if she was early.
A few hours later, around nine Mickey was kicked out of the room for a little while. Mandy was getting an epidural or some shit; Mickey wasn't sure what the fuck it was, but he knew that it would take the pain away.
He went to the cafeteria and got some coffee; he needed to chase the booze away, he could still feel it coursing through his veins. He wasn't lying when he told Lip that he had only had three beers; that didn't mean he had told the truth either.
He did only have three beers, but he had also had half a bottle of vodk, but Lip didn't need to know that.
When he finally got back up to Mandy's room, she seemed to be a lot more comfortable.
"So how much longer?" He was getting impatient, he wanted to get this over with. He wanted to see his niece.
"We just gotta wait, they said I'm a little over half way there. It should be soon." Mickey fucking hated waiting.
Mandy started to fall asleep around eleven. Lip fell asleep not long after.
Mickey didn't sleep though. He wanted a fucking cigarette; no smoking in the hospital though. He was glad that it was only thursday, him and Ian were supposed to talk to each other on friday night. If it had been friday and he missed his 'skype date' with Ian he would've been pissed.
Around two a nurse came in to check Mandy's vitals and shit, as well as see how far dilated she was. Mickey wanted to puke, just the thought of someone sticking there fingers in his sister's twat made his stomach turn, and then having to see it, was just to much. He shut his eyes and tried to picture something not as disgusting.
Mickey must have fallen asleep because around four he woke up to Mandy saying she needed the doctor.
Lip was a pretty heavy sleeper; Mickey wasn't. Mickey didn't think twice he just jumped up and ran into the hall to find some one.
There was a nurse, Mickey was pretty sure it was the same one that had been in Mandy's room a few hours earlier, coming out of the room across from Mandy's.
"My sister needs the doctor."
"I'll send someone in a minute sir." Mickey wanted to punch the bitch.
"I don't fucking think you heard me, she needs the doctor now." The nurse looked a little offended, but that's what Mickey wanted.
"Of course, right away." Mickey shook his head as she walked away.
He re-entered Mandy's room, Lip was still fucking asleep, Mandy was gripping the sides of the bed.
"Fuck. Are you okay?" Mickey really was worried.
"No, I'm not fucking okay, there is a baby trying to push itself out of me." Mickey flinched a little.
He quickly woke Lip up.
"Wha'?" Mickey snorted.
"Dude take fucking care of Mandy." Lip was fully awake instantly.
"Shit. Mandy did you call for the doctor?"
"Of course not, I'm just gonna fucking do this without her."
"I told a nurse, she said she was telling the doctor right away." Lip just nodded.
A few minutes later three nurses and the doctor entered the room.
After twenty minutes of pushing the baby was out. She was a little small but healthy.
Shortly after Mandy had delivered the baby Mickey moved to hug his sister.
"I'm proud of ya. She's fucking adorable." Mandy smiled.
"Thanks Mick."
They named the little girl Acacia Mikaela Gallagher. They were already calling her Caci.
Mickey thought the name was pretty cute. He didn't comment on the fact that her middle name was pretty much the same as his name; he thought it was really fucking awesome though, that his niece was kinda sorta in a way named after him.
A few hours later Mandy was asleep, and Lip was falling asleep in the chair next to her. Caci was in the little moveable crib thing they put the babies in, she was asleep as well. Mickey was wide awake. He pulled out his phone and took some pictures of Caci. He would send them to Ian. And maybe keep a few for himself.
Around noon he went back to his apartment, he promised Mandy he would be back the next day; he still felt like he wasn't there, he still felt like he was suffocating but he was happy.
Note To Readers- There ya go. Let me know what you thought. Oh and I don't want anyone to think that Mickey is going to start like cutting himself or anything like that; because that totally isn't something Mickey would do. Also I don't want any of you to think that after Ian comes home it's going to end, I've still got some ideas for what I want to do once he is home, so don't think this story will be ending soon because it won't be. -Alayna
