Multiplicity

A Ranma fanfic by Mike Breslau

Disclaimer: You know the drill: better folks than I own the characters that appear in this scribbling.


Ranma was visiting Happosai in his room at the same time that he was sparring with Xian Pu.

"I think you should know what you did this afternoon," said Ranma.

Happosai was surprised. "I know what I did - I rotted in this ugly cage of yours, Ranma, just like every other day."

"No, you gave Pantyhose a new name," said Ranma. He proceeded to recap Taro's encounter with the fake Happosai.

The old pervert giggled while he listened. "I wish I'd been there - it sounds like fun." Then he grew thoughtful. "You know, my boy, maybe I should take 'my' own advice. It seems that you do a better job of being me than I can do. Perhaps I should retire and appoint you my successor. How would you like to be the new grandmaster of Anything Goes? You're certainly qualified..."

"I'd rather not," Ranma protested, "Your school is tainted; I'd prefer to found my own school."

Happosai had prepared for that. "Doesn't matter, my boy. I hereby resign and appoint you my heir and the new grandmaster of my school. Bring me some paper and I'll document it."

Ranma made a sour face. "Thanks, but no thanks." He prepared to leave.

"Wait," pleaded the pervert, "Won't you at least let me out of here? I'll be good."

Ranma considered the offer. "Okay, I'll release you. But, if you molest any women or steal any underwear, then I'll lock you up and throw away the key. And you know I can do it."

Happosai's shoulders slumped. "That's harsh, but I suppose I deserve it. Okay, Ranma, and thanks."

Ranma released the barrier around Happosai's room and left. The former grandmaster began to carefully remove and collect the pictures that adorned his walls.


Happosai bounced into the Nekohanten wearing a mischievous expression and carrying a large manilla envelope.

Cologne was not pleased to see him. Judging by his aura, this was the real deal, not Ranma's imitation. "What are you doing here, Happi?" asked Cologne gruffly.

"Just visiting," replied Happosai. "I'm so glad Ranma let me out of his cage. He had the nerve to decorate my room with these..." He held out the envelope.

Cologne took the proffered package and began to examine its contents. She cackled. "Very artistic. I'm sure I never posed for these pinup pictures. It's not Nabiki's work - who else?"

"I think Ranma made those pictures, though I don't think he used a camera," suggested Happosai. "He's a boy of many talents." The old pervert had hoped Cologne would get upset by the pictures; the old gal was spoiling his fun.

The splashing and giggling sounds which could be faintly heard from upstairs abruptly ceased. Ranma and Shampoo came downstairs wearing matching terrycloth robes.

Happosai raised an eyebrow. "Ranma shared a tub with Shampoo? Is the lad growing up?"

Shampoo mock pouted. "Ranma see Shampoo naked and he no react! Is Ai Ren gay?"

Ranma came to his own defense. "No, not gay, just strong self-control. My pop's training, you know. Besides, I'm part girl, and that affects my outlook." His voice softened, "You have a very attractive body, Shampoo,but it has no surprises for me." To prove his point Ranma morphed into a duplicate of Xian Pu.

Shampoo poked Ranma gently in the breast. "Aiyah! Is a perfect copy. Just like looking in mirror."

Happosai feigned horror. "Ranma behaves like a gentleman in the presence of beautiful naked women? Oh, where have I gone wrong?"

"Blame my Pop," suggested Ranma. "For over a decade he drilled into me that women were weak, silly, and a distraction from the Art which I'm better off avoiding. Then he expected me to turn on a dime and marry a girl of his choosing. As if!"

"Amazons need to teach stupid panda-man the error of his ways!" declared Shampoo. "Stupid Genma is weak and silly, not us!"

Ranma nodded. "Be my guest. Just leave him alive so I can 'educate' him further."

"Surely you don't believe Genma's teaching about women?" asked Cologne in a dangerous tone of voice.

"Ninety percent of what Pop says is flat-out wrong, and one hundred percent of it is self-serving. He just didn't want some cutie to come along and lure me away from his influence."

Heads nodded in agreement. Shampoo realized that it was going to be harder to capture Ranma than she had expected.


It was another late-night session with Dr. Tofu Ono. Ranma had arrived in a form almost identical to Kasumi's, which was making the good doctor nervous. Ono could only keep control because he knew in his heart that this was Ranma Saotome, no matter what he/she looked like.

Ranma asked, "Sensei, What is love? How do I know if I'm in love?"

"Why do you ask?"

"My mom says if I have to ask, then I'm not in love. That's not a helpful answer to my question."

Tofu leaned back in his chair and thought. "You ask the damnedest questions, Ranma." A moment later he continued, "Here's my take on it. When you feel happy just being near someone, that's infatuation - also called 'puppy love'. Real love is the desire to make someone else happy, healthy, and successful. That's how a husband and wife should feel about each other, and how a parent should feel about a child. It's a bit much to expect a child to feel that way toward his parents, but children feel infatuation toward their parents. Of course, other people will give other answers to your question, but that's how I see it."

Ranma reminisced. "About a year ago Akane had died at Jusendo. I yelled out 'I never told her that I love her' - and she returned to me! It was a miracle! At the time I thought I was in love with her, but to tell the truth, I'm not so sure what I feel. There's a connection between us, more than a friendship but less than love as you've described it. I'm attracted to her, I feel good when she's near me and not angry...We're kindred souls, much alike. She doesn't trust me, and that's a problem. But, since I don't really understand what love is, I can't tell for sure if I love her or not. Does that sound to you like a good basis for marrying someone?"

Tofu considered. It was odd hearing "Kasumi" declare her love for Akane."You're almost 19 now, so you were less than 18 at Jusendo. Some people that age are mature enough to feel adult love, but, much as it pains me to say this, neither you nor Akane is that mature yet. I think you should make no commitments now, but try to grow up and see what develops. Try to get to know each other without the pressure of an engagement - you might be surprised."

Ranma nodded. "Sounds good, Sensei. Thanks."


The next day Ranma approached Akane. She gave him a hooded glare that was hard to interpret. He asked diffidently. "I'd like for us to get to know each other better, Akane, but I'm not really sure how to go about it. Do you want to go on a date like the other girls?"

Akane was relieved, but still feeling resentful. "Why did you go with all the other girls first?"

"Saving the best for last?" offered Ranma semi-facetiously. "I haven't gone with all the girls - I've omitted Kodachi and others."

Akane was almost mollified. "Humph. If you really want to get to know me, then train me seriously," she said with her arms crossed.

In unison, they both continued, "I'm a martial artist too."

Akane giggled. "I guess you do know me, at least a little bit." Ranma joining in her declaration had lifted her spirits. "And then you can take me out on a date." She smiled.

"She has a beautiful smile," he thought. Ranma turned serious. "I'd like to train you, but I'm reluctant to spar. I've yet to learn enough finesse and self-control to avoid injuring you severely. Can you imagine sparring with a locomotive?"

"Are you really that strong, that dangerous?"

"Hit me, 'Kane, and don't hold back. Give it your best shot - I won't move."

Akane raised an eyebrow. Producing her mallet-o-doom, she took a mighty swing at Ranma. Blam! The resulting recoil hurt her hands. It would have been easier to smite a mountain. Once her hands stopped stinging she said,"You weren't exaggerating! How did you get so strong?"

Ranma answered seriously, "I had a decade and a half of strenuous training. Your father never could bring himself to really train you the other hand that left you with enough free time to go to school, go shopping, have a normal life, and to have friends. I never had any of those things."

Akane realized that just as she was jealous of Ranma's martial arts skills, he envied her social skills. Ranma had paid a serious price for his accomplishments. "I see. Well, the sooner we start, the better. Can you start training me now?"

Ranma nodded. "Follow me, student." He led the way into the dojo, then gave Akane a pair of 15 pound dumbbells. "Lesson one: fast and slow fibers. I want you to slowly lift these over your head, using curls and then presses, as many times as you can. Try to move slowly and gracefully."

Akane was puzzled, but she complied. At first it seemed easy, but she soon found herself growing tired. Akane stubbornly persisted, but eventually had to admit defeat. "That's it," she muttered.

"Now do it as quickly as you can," Ranma responded.

Akane was sure she was too tired to continue, but she tried to comply with her sensei's wishes. To her surprise, she could manage ten more reps before she began to feel too tired.

"Okay, now sit and listen," ordered Ranma. "All great artists must understand their instruments; their tools. To be a great martial artist you have to understand your body and how it works. Did you notice how the second group felt compared to the first group?"

"It started out easier, then it became harder as I grew more tired."

"You see, there are two kinds of fibers in your body's muscles: fast twitch and slow twitch. The fast twitch fibers are thicker and stronger; slow twitch fibers have more mitochondria."

Akane interrupted, "Mitochondria?"

"They're the organelles within a cell that convert fuel into energy. Your slow twitch fibers were tired out, but the fast twitch fibers were rested when you began the fast movements. Men have more fast twitch fibers than women do, so they can develop bulging muscles and great peak strength. Women have more slow twitch muscle fibers, so they have greater endurance than men but cannot exert as much peak force as a man can."

"Is that why you're faster than me?"

"That's part of the reason. If you want to speed train, then you have to exercise your fast-twitch muscles. The exercises you have been doing will build strength, but won't improve your speed."

"But won't I develop bulging muscles like a male bodybuilder? I don't want to look like that." Akane fretted.

"Don't worry, it isn't likely. Women can develop body builder muscle bulges, but it requires dedication and persistence. You don't want to concentrate on speed or strength exclusively - you need to develop both, and martial art moves too. Knowing this, how would you fight a male opponent?"

Akane pondered for a moment. "Try to drag it out until he got tired; then I'd have the advantage."

Ranma nodded. "You'd have to avoid taking too much damage while your opponent is fresh, so you'd need to work on dodging his blows."

"Hai, Sensei." Akane bowed her head.

An hour later Akane felt that she now understood the Art and her body better than before. She continued diffidently, "How did you get to be so smart, Sensei? When you arrived here you seemed to be an ignorant barbarian."She blushed as she realized what she had said. "I mean..."

Ranma made a dismissive gesture. "I'm still an 'ignorant barbarian', but I'm trying to correct that. Akane, my father may not be good for much, but he is an excellent martial artist. Genma also set a good example for teaching martial arts..."

Akane blanched. She did not want to train as Ranma had.

Ranma continued, unperturbed. "But unfortunately, he mostly set a good example of what not to do."

"Ah," said Akane, feeling much relieved.


Kasumi opened the front door of the Tendo home in response to the doorbell. Even she, with her untrained eye, could easily tell that Ryoga had changed. His depression and resentment were gone, and now he was almost calm. "Accepting" or "at peace" would be a more accurate description.

"Good morning, Ryoga," she greeted him in her usual friendly voice.

Ryoga smiled. Kasumi could make anyone feel better. "Good morning, Kasumi. Are Ranma or Akane available?"

"Oh my! Yes, they're in the dojo," was Kasumi's predictable reply.

Ryoga carefully made his way out back to the dojo - without getting lost. He opened the dojo door and stopped to watch. Ranma was instructing Akane in the Art, and doing a good job of it too. Ryoga had never seen Ranma acting so mature or self-confident, and Akane was taking her lesson seriously. "They've grown up," he thought, "and I guess I have too."

There were eight two-by fours standing on edge on the floor, laid out in an octagonal pattern. Akane was balancing on the narrow edges as she ran clockwise around the pattern. This was similar to the fence-walking that Ranma used for balance practice, but much safer.

"Faster," commanded Ranma. Akane did her best to go faster. She was beginning to look stressed. Ranma casually tipped over one of the boards,interrupting the smoothness of the octagonal layout. Akane grumbled a bit, but she quickly adapted to the irregularity.

"Halt," said Ranma. He restored the tipped-over board to its original position. "Now do it backwards, student."

Akane's eyes opened wide briefly, then she tried to run backwards around the octagon. She was slower than she had been when going forwards, but she did all right. Ryoga nodded in approval.

After another minute Ranma commanded Akane to stop and dismount. Only then did the two of them pay attention to their visitor.

"Well done!" exclaimed Ryoga. Then he grew nervous as he asked, "Akane,may I speak with you- alone?"

Ranma quietly left the dojo. Akane looked puzzled at Ryoga's nervousness as she gave him her undivided attention.

"Akane, I have been keeping two important secrets from you," began swallowed and said, "I really hope you can forgive me." When Akane made no reply he continued, "You see, I have a Jusenkyo curse too. When I get wet, I turn into..." His voice dropped to a near-whisper, "a little black pig."

Akane displayed a range of emotions as she processed this information and realized its implications. "You are P-chan?" Ryoga nodded, looking mortified. "You watched me getting dressed; you slept in my bed?" Akane was slowly growing angry, but hadn't reached the blind rage that would have followed if she'd learned this a year earlier.

Ryoga made warding gestures. "I never watched you getting dressed - I always turned my head when you did that." Actually, he couldn't have watched her getting undressed even if he'd wanted to - he would have passed out with a nosebleed.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Akane demanded.

"That's my other secret." Ryoga paused to gather his courage. "You see, I was, and I still am, in love with you. If I had to be a pig to be near you, then I'd be a pig. It was a small price to pay..."

Akane was dumbfounded. "Oh! I never realized...Oh dear! Ryoga, I don't...I mean, I like you as a friend..." She trailed off, uncertain about how she should react.

"Do you at least not hate me?" asked Ryoga.

"Oh, Ryoga, I could never hate you. You're a pretty nice guy, when you're not feuding with Ranma." Akane paused. "How did that happen, anyway?"

"Years ago he and I attended the same school. We were friends and rivals, but he always teased me or competed with me. You know how he is - it's just his way. He helped me by leading me home from school so I wouldn't get lost. But at lunch time in school it was always a race to see who got the last katsu-sand; Ranma was so quick that he almost always won. Finally, I challenged him to a duel. It was to be in an empty lot behind my house. I wouldn't let him lead me there for our duel because of my pride."

Akane had heard parts of this story before. "Ranma says he waited three days and you didn't show up. On the fourth day Genma knocked him unconscious and dragged him off to China."

Ryoga blushed. "I didn't realize Genma had taken him away, so I blamed Ranma for running out on our fight. I managed to trail him all the way across China - to Jusenkyo. I guess you know what happened next. In my rage I blamed Ranma for getting me cursed; in fact, I blamed Ranma for every thing bad that ever happened to anyone."

Akane blushed in embarrassment. "I know how you feel. Ranma's attitude set me off. I was jealous of him for being so much better than me, and I blamed him for everything that I didn't like..."

"We were both quick to rage against him. Actually, you and I are much alike: strong, quick to anger, emotional, and ready to blame Ranma for any thing at all."

"But you seem much calmer now," observed Akane.

"Ranma told me that I should purify my ki of all emotion. He said pure ki is more powerful than emotion-based ki, but it's more difficult to generate. He's right; my ki is quite a bit stronger now. Ranma said he would teach me how to control of my curse if I purified my ki, and now I want to take him up on it."

Akane stammered, "I have very little control of my ki - mostly I use it to make my mallet. Ranma says he'll teach me ki manipulation after I become more experienced in basic martial arts. You know, Ryoga, he's a very good teacher. I'm jealous of all the things he can do so well..."

Ryoga tentatively hugged Akane. When she didn't object, he tightened his grip slightly. "Yes, he's very good, Akane, but he paid a terrible price to get there. You or I wouldn't have survived that ten-year training trip." He paused. "Well, that's all I wanted to say to you. Let's go out so I can get that ki training." Akane nodded. They left the dojo but didn't see Ranma anywhere.

"Where's is he?" asked Akane.

Ryoga silently pointed upwards. Male and female Ranmas were doing katas twenty feet in the air - a virtuoso performance of martial art skill and control. Akane couldn't help herself - she applauded. The female drifted down to join them; the male flew away to attend to other business.

"Do you think I'll ever be that good?" asked Akane quietly. Ryoga silently wondered the same thing. Akane continued in a louder voice, "Ranma, why didn't you tell me about Ryoga's curse? Surely, you owed your fiancee that much honesty!"

Ranko made warding gestures. "I probably should have, but I'd promised him that I wouldn't tell. The demands of honor conflicted, and I didn't handle it well. I was partially responsible for his getting cursed, and martial artists don't reveal each other's weaknesses."

"Oh," said Akane, slightly mollified.

"Akane, would you leave us alone for a while? You're not at all ready for this lesson yet," commanded Ranko. It was not a request. Akane left. Turning to Ryoga, Ranko continued, "Have you noticed what it feels like if the water is barely cold enough to trigger your change as compared with water that is quite a bit colder?" Ryoga nodded. "That difference is what we'll start working with..."

An hour later Ryoga had control of the trigger portion of his curse. Any water warmer than freezing would transform his pig shape into a human, and any water much colder than freezing would change him into a pig. But water that is frozen solid cannot wet a person, and the Jusenkyo curse needed to be wet to be activated. This was the minimum amount of control that would satisfy Ryoga's need - his curse was not cured, he could not transform into other shapes, but from now on he would only change if he wasn't paying attention to his self-control and he could more easily change back than before.

"Thanks, Ranma, I really appreciate this," said Ryoga.

Ranko flashed a sunny smile that made Ryoga's knees weak. "I enjoyed it, old pal, and it's the least I could do for you after helping you get cursed." She paused briefly and then changed the subject. "You know, Ryo=ga, I wouldn't object if you paid court to Akane."

Ryoga was shocked. "I thought you two were an item..."

Ranko looked wistful briefly. "It's complicated. I think Akane and I love each other, and I think I would be happy married to her, but I don't think she could be happily married to me. She's jealous of my achievements - I excel at things she only aspires to, and it slowly eats her alive."

Ryoga grinned. "And if she accepts me, then you'd have one less fiancee to worry about?"

Ranko replied, "I have many would-be brides, but I don't think I have any that would be stable, happy partners. Akane is too competitive. Ukyo only dreams of running a restaurant; can you imagine me being happy as a waitress? Shampoo would be delighted to bear my children - it would bring her great prestige among the Amazons - but can you see me fitting in to a culture where men are second-class citizens and women rule? Kodachi was flat-out crazy. Tatewaki wanted to marry me and/or kill me, depending on what form I was in at the moment. Kasumi will make a fine wife someday, but she really belongs to Tofu. Nabiki isn't passionate about anything except money and control. I think I could get along with her - she wouldn't compete with me - but I'd always have to be on guard against her deviousness..."

"Maybe you need a completely different type of girl - a dress designer or a journalist," suggested Ryoga.

Ranko flashed that smile again. "I have a great many other choices, you know. I could marry a man such as you, Ryoga."

Ryoga made warding gestures. "Now wait a minute..."

"Or, if I really wanted to marry a peer, I could marry my male form to my female form. Making love to myself might be very rewarding..."

Ryoga's nose spurted red as he fainted.

Author's Notes

Changed Kuno's craziness to past tense; he's cured now.

Material excised from Ranma's lesson to Akane and inserted here:

Ranma changed the subject. "Lesson two: estrogen and fat. Estrogen has many functions in the body. One of them causes fat cells to , fat cells produce estrogen, which causes a difficult problem for overweight women and men."

Akane was puzzled. "Okay, I can see how a heavy woman would have a hard time loosing weight. More estrogen leads to more fat, which produces more estrogen. But, how is it a problem for males?"

"Too much estrogen feminizes a man's body, with unfortunate results,"replied Ranma. "Too much or too little estrogen impairs a woman's monthly cycle, leading to infertility and other problems. Student, are you regular?"

Akane blushed, and resisted the impulse to bash him. Ranma was not being a hentai, he was being a teacher, and he had the right to ask. "No, my periods are infrequent and unpredictable..."

"You need to add some fat, but not too much, to your body for optimal health. You don't have to eat as much as I do, but you should eat more than you have been. Your body needs fat for energy, particularly over the long haul."

"But I weigh too much already," protested Akane.

"You have lots of muscle, which is denser than fat. Fat floats and muscle sinks. That's one reason you have problems with swimming. When you loose fat and gain muscle your weight increases, but you're less obese."

"Oh," said Akane.

"Lesson 3: diet and nutrition," said Ranma. He continued lecturing for another hour.