A/N: Just a quick response for some of the reviews you guys have left.

I've been asked if I will add more characters like Quinn and Rachel to the story. To this I say... it's possible that one or both of them will make an appearance in later chapters ;) I have parts for them in mind but I just wanna see how things go right now before moving on to that.

Also, there were some people who want more Sam and some who want more Blaine... and some who didn't care at all lol Just wanna say, whatever happens, Kurt's love life will be very background so don't worry. It won't detract from the Brittana.

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Santana slammed her bedroom door so hard that she swore she heard the wood splinter. Each breath rattled through her chest and she pulled her at hair in frustration as she sunk to the floor, trying her best to hold onto the furious sobs that were bubbling up in her throat.

'Santana? What on earth was that bang? Are you alright honey?' Her mother knocked firmly on the door. 'Let me in.'

'Go away! I'm fine.' Santana shouted.

But her mother just switched from knocking to jiggling the doorknob. 'What happened?'

Santana quickly spun around to grab the handle and turn the lock in order to stop her mother from twisting it open. 'Fuck off Mom! It's none of your business. Leave me alone!' Santana yelled, louder this time, the tears stinging painfully at her eyes and making it difficult to swallow.

'What's going on? Open this door right now!'

'Just go back to bed! I'm fine!' Santana's voice cracked, the pain suddenly breaking through. She roughly kicked off her heels before moving over to her laptop and plugging in some headphones. Selecting the most obscenely loud and angry music she could find, she turned up the volume as high as it would go to drone out the shouts and knocks she expected were continuing from her mother out in the hallway.

She would pay for it in the morning. She knew that. The older Latina was now probably fuming.

But she didn't care. If Santana opened that door, she would only make it worse. And she'd already fucked up enough things for one night.

As she shifted from her desk to her bed, carrying the laptop with her, Santana tried her hardest to get a hold on her breathing. By this point, it was coming in gasps and she could practically feel her heart blocking the airway.

Two little words...

Just two stupid, fucking words were all it took to turn her into this disgusting, self-loathing mess.

Her boyfriend.

Up until that moment, Santana could have denied that she really liked Brittany. She could have pretended that it was just a stupid crush... something that she could forget about in two seconds if she had really wanted to. She could have said it wasn't serious... It wasn't something that could hurt her.

But when those words were said, buzzing around her head like fireflies in the night air... she knew. It was serious. It wasn't just a silly crush. She really had invested way too much of herself. She really had fallen for Brittany and rediscovered a hope and desire for romance that she thought she'd lost long ago.

Brittany was connected to everything good that was happening in her life. Brittany was supposed to be the light at the end of her tunnel...

Now what?

Santana curled her body up into a tight ball on the mattress. She couldn't stop replaying the night in her head. Over and over...

Boyfriend? Santana repeated the word in her head. It sounded so foreign. But the hesitation lasted only a brief moment before she nodded her head in acknowledgement and forced a smile.

'Do you wanna come back inside? We're gonna have a dance off!' Mike asked Brittany as he bounced on his heels and gestured towards the house, completely oblivious to Santana's inner turmoil.

'Uh... yeah. Sure.' Brittany hesitated. 'I'll meet you in there.'

'Okay.' Mike grinned, leaning down to place a quick peck on the blonde's cheek before spinning around and heading back in.

Santana could feel Brittany staring at her. She knew she needed to be convincing. She couldn't show the girl how hurt and disappointed she was. She refused to embarrass herself like that. So not missing a beat, she took a sharp breath, straightened up and put on her best cheerful expression.

'You never said you had a boyfriend. He's cute!' As the words left her tongue Santana could taste their bitter flavour. Lying never bothered her that much in the past... but it felt so dirty this time.

'Yeah...' Brittany replied slowly, watching the brunette with a strange look in her eyes.

Santana flinched. It wasn't possible that the blonde could see through her act... was it?

'Have you been going out long?' The Latina tried to sound eager, like she was dying to hear all the details.

'Not really.' Brittany's tone was questioning.

'Oh... Well you'll have to fill me in next time.' Santana smiled broadly and stood. 'I better catch up with my friends. They probably have no idea where I went.'

'Okay then.' Brittany moved to follow her back inside but Santana was too quick.

'See ya.' She hastily called over her shoulder and took off towards the house with long strides.

Once she got inside, she shoved a few people roughly out of her way, trying to get to Kurt as quickly as possible. She just hoped he would still be at the bar with Blaine. She was really not in the mood to wander around searching for him. She needed to get out of this place. Maybe then she could breathe.

'Watch it whore!' A tall, heavyset girl with glasses and far too much attitude shoved her into the wall as Santana rushed past.

Turning back, the Latina's eyes narrowed dangerously. She was already teetering on the edge. If this girl wanted to start a fight, she knew it wouldn't take much to set her off. 'What the fuck did you just call me?'

'You heard me slut.' The girl retorted without hesitation.

And that was more than enough. 'Maybe if you didn't take up so much space Poppin Fresh... It wouldn't be so hard to get around you.'

'You don't wanna push me J-Lo. I will tear. You. Up.'

'Oh really? I'd like to see you tear anything up with those big fat, greasy fingers.' Santana smirked. She was in full Snix mode at this point and there was no stopping her. It was almost a relief to let the rage flow freely. She could feel a crowd gathering around them and it just egged her on more. She always worked better with an audience. 'Why don't you just turn around and go back to the kitchen... We all know how much the fridge must be missing your company.'

The people watching them shared a mixture of gasps and muffled laughter... and the bigger girl looked around with fire in her eyes.

'I'm feeling charitable today... so I'll give you a choice chica. I can beat down your bony, lopsided ass right here... or we can be ladies and take it outside?'

Santana clenched her jaw and folded her arms across her chest defiantly. 'You couldn't be a lady, Michael Moore, if your life depended on it.'

'That's it!' The girl lunged at Santana, grabbing hold of her face and throwing her hard against the wall.

The brunette collided with a heavy thud but was up again in a heartbeat, backhanding the girl's face with as much force as she could manage. The girl stumbled a bit, obviously surprised by the small Latina's strength.

Santana, ready to capitalize on her opponent's momentary stumble, stepped forward to move in for another strike but felt herself being dragged backwards as firm hands seized her arms.

'Santana! Stop!' Kurt shouted, watching on as Blaine rushed over to the other girl to calm her down.

'Fuck off Kurt! This doesn't concern you!' Santana struggled, her eyes glistening with spite and fury.

'No!' He demanded. 'You can't go around hitting people anymore. This isn't high school!'

'Bitch fucking started it.' Santana growled. As he hauled her away from the scene, she was surprised at how strong Kurt had gotten. She certainly didn't remember him having this kind of physical power when they were younger.

'I don't care who started it.' He continued, lowering his voice a bit. 'That girl was like ten times your size. She could have killed you.'

'As if.' Santana snorted. 'I was totally winning.'

'Nobody was winning.' He sighed in frustration, leading her out the door. 'You were both being stupid and immature.'

Once they got outside, Santana was finally able to shake her arm from his grasp. 'You can't tell me what to do Kurt! I don't give a fuck what you think!' She yelled as she stormed towards his car.

'Santana what's wrong with you?' Kurt challenged when they were both sealed inside the car and threw his arms up in exasperation. 'When you left me and Blaine, you were fine. Everything was going great. Does every party you go to have to end in a fist fight? Is it like some unspoken rule?'

'You don't even know.' She grumbled under her breath, refusing to look at him. She held her arms tightly around herself and felt her lips twitching with pent up emotion.

'Don't know what? What the hell happened to make you this upset?' Kurt was still annoyed at her but she could also hear the concern in his voice.

'It doesn't matter. Let's just fucking go.' She said bitterly.

'It does matter San. I was having a really good night. And I thought you were too... I wanna know how we ended up here.' Kurt's tone remained hard. He knew that was the only way she would realize that he was dead serious and wanted an answer.

'Fucking Brittany okay.' She snapped.

Kurt made a face. 'What? The girl from the grocery store?'

'Yes. She was at the party.' Santana sighed in exasperation.

Kurt paused for a long moment. 'Why is that bad?'

'Because!' Santana screamed, elbowing the door roughly. 'She was with her fucking boyfriend.'

'Oh...'

Kurt didn't say anything else. He realized that there was nothing he could offer Santana to make this situation any better. He knew her well enough to recognize when she really liked someone. And he could tell that she was absolutely smitten with Brittany whenever they spoke about the blonde.

When she was ready, Santana might open up to him... but for now, he knew she just wanted to be alone.

'Just... take me home.' She said quietly.

After briefly wondering if he'd sobered up enough to drive, Kurt started the ignition and took off slowly towards her house.

Santana felt awful about the way she spoke to Kurt at the party. Because she was too childish to control her own feelings, she'd wrecked his night. He was probably having a blast flirting with Blaine until she stirred shit up. She shook her head and laughed disdainfully. He'd been nothing but a great friend to her. And she didn't even apologize for making him leave early.

She really was a selfish bitch. She had no right to make everyone else around her suffer just because of her inability to get a grip.

Santana turned off her music and buried her head beneath the pillow. She was exhausted but her mind wouldn't stop buzzing.

It took almost five hours before she finally fell asleep.

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When Santana's phone woke her up the next morning, it only took a few seconds before her stomach twisted from all the things that had happened the night before. Fucking parties. This is why I never go.

She groaned and reached over to her bedside table, silencing the buzzing item with a flick of her thumb.

It was a message from Kurt. There's one apology I need to make today.

'Hey San. Hope you're alright. I'm here if you need to talk.'

She rolled her eyes but was grateful for the gesture anyway.

She sent a quick reply ('Maybe later. Thanks. Sorry.') and dragged herself out of bed, feeling that telltale headache return from the previous night. Crying always gave her the worst migraines.

As she left her bedroom and padded down the stairs to the kitchen, she realized she was about to walk straight into another apology.

Just like she'd expected, her mother was sitting at the counter, drinking a coffee while she read the paper. At the sound of her daughter's footsteps, the older woman turned her head.

'Are you going to tell me what happened last night?' She asked quietly, pretending not to be interested as she turned back to her paper. Santana knew this tone. It was the calm before the storm.

'Nothing Mami... I was just drunk.'

'So because you had a few drinks... you think it's okay to slam doors in the middle of the night and curse at your mother?' She raised an eyebrow.

Santana sighed heavily. 'No. I'm sorry.'

There was a long minute of silence. Any moment now, Santana expected her mother to explode in a rant about how she was rude and immature and needed to stop acting like such a spoiled brat.

But it didn't come.

The older woman just studied her carefully for a few seconds before returning to her paper.

'You don't always have to tell me what's wrong, Santana... But I do expect you to show me some respect.'

Santana's eyebrows lifted high in disbelief. 'You're not mad at me?'

'No. I am.' Her mother laughed dryly. 'But whether or not you want to talk to me about it, I can tell that something is really bothering you... And I've decided to let you off the hook this time.' She frowned. 'I just hope it's nothing serious.'

Santana gaped at the older woman. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been let off the hook for anything. Usually, they could get into a screaming match about who left the window open. But for whatever reason her mother was choosing to show restraint over her fiery Latina temper today, Santana was thankful. Trying to shake the surprise from her face, she nodded at her mother appreciatively and proceeded to get herself some cereal, as well as a few painkillers for her headache, before returning to her room.

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Santana spent the better part of her day trying to avoid thinking about Brittany. She eventually called up Kurt to apologize for being a total bitch and ruining his night. He forgave her of course... but not without a gentle warning and a brief lecture about expressing emotions in a healthy way now that they were older. She just rolled her eyes at this, knowing he was right.

When Kurt tried to move their conversation to what had happened with Brittany though, she felt her heart sink. Santana just told him she didn't want to talk about it and excused herself from the phone call.

Hearing her friend bring up the blonde made everything real again. Brittany really did have a boyfriend. And there was nothing she could do about it.

It felt like the world had been drained of colour. Disappointment clogged her every pore and she was suffocated by the hopelessness that came with that knowledge. Furious at herself for letting her heart get so far ahead of her brain, Santana decided that the only thing that might help the nervous pacing and uneven breathing was a trip to the gym to release the tension.

Even though she was never much of a gym person, preferring to go for a jog or swim instead, she knew of a place not far from her house that provided punching bags. And the thought of taking out all this frustration on something she could physically hit was just too tempting.

Each punch made her a little less anxious. The pain never stopped... but the anger was fading. She hit the bag for over an hour and since she'd elected not to wear gloves, when she finished, the skin on her knuckles was broken and bleeding. But it felt good... Having something visible which reflected the swirling emotions she held inside.

She hated herself for falling for Brittany so quickly. She hated that it bothered her so much that she couldn't have her. She should have known better. She did know better. But she just couldn't control it. And now, there was nothing she could do. The damage was already done.

The best she could hope for was to forget about the blonde entirely and put the whole thing behind her. Then maybe next time she met a girl, she could remind herself of this situation... of her pain... of her self-loathing... of how broken and miserable she felt because she'd opened herself up far too easily and allowed her impulses to guide her. And then she might not fuck things up this badly again.

But... Brittany was different from other girls. There was just something she couldn't quite put her finger on. It had felt so natural to let her walls down. It had been so effortless.

This was the thought that crossed her mind as she got home from the gym and climbed into the shower. She dipped her face under the hot stream of water and begged it to wash away her tears and doubt... No matter how different it had felt with Brittany, she had to let it go now.

Just as she felt her tight, sore muscles beginning to relax, Santana heard her phone ringing from its place on the bathroom counter, interrupting her brief moment of respite.

She leaned out of the shower and snatched it up. Not bothering to check the caller ID, she answered, her voice coated in annoyance.

'What?'

'Santana?'

Brittany.

Santana's stomach jerked and she quickly shut off the water. 'Uh yeah.' She muttered quietly. 'Just one sec.' Balancing the phone in her hands, she grabbed a towel and hastily wrapped it around herself. 'Uh... hi.'

'Hey...' Brittany replied slowly. 'Is this a bad time?'

'No... No I was just... in the shower.' Santana rolled her eyes at herself.

'Oh... Sorry for interrupting.' Brittany apologized. 'I was just wondering if you wanted to... you know... hang out sometime?'

Santana closed her eyes. Her plan to stay away from the blonde was obviously not going to be as easy as she'd hoped. Sure, she could just say no. But something felt so wrong about lying to Brittany. And there was no way she was going to tell her the truth behind why she didn't want to be friends.

Besides, she couldn't deny the fact that her heart was fluttering around in her chest at the sound of the girl's voice. She almost couldn't believe Brittany had actually called her. She wanted to see her again so badly... even if it would hurt like hell to know she could never have her.

'Yeah... I'd like that.' She heard herself say. 'Are you free tomorrow night?'

'Yeah.' Brittany suddenly sounded very chipper. 'What do you wanna do?'

Santana thought for a moment. Something platonic. An outing where I won't be tempted to flirt with you again. 'How bout a movie?' What? That's exactly the worst thing you could have suggested. This is NOT a date you fucking idiot.

'Sure!' She could practically hear Brittany grinning down the other end.

'Um... Meet you at the third street theatre at 7?'

'Sounds great. See you then!' Brittany answered brightly.

'Cool. See ya.' Santana replied, trying not to let the defeat lace her voice. She'd just agreed to the exact opposite of what she wanted to avoid.

Well fuck.

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A/N: Sorry this chapter is a bit short. I was gonna have their little outing included as one big chapter... but I felt like there needed to be a break here.

Also, yes, that big girl at the party was a guest appearance by none other than Lauren Zizes :P My apologies if their insults aren't that funny or original. I am sad to say I don't possess Santana's awesome knack for killer one-liners.

Thanks for all you reviews, alerts and favourites! I'll have the next chapter along shortly! In the next few chapters, I hope this story will really kick into gear. Shit's about to get cray! – And no. That wasn't a typo ;)

Finally, just a word of warning – Although this story has been kinda fluffy since the first chapter, we're moving towards some of the "Angst" now. This is gonna get messy for both our girls. I promise a happy ending eventually though =)