It was lonely.
The room seemed so dark without him in it.
Without his quiet smiles.
Without his eyes that spilt affection, but still seemed so lonely.
I hugged the quilt to me.
I shied away from the invisible cold that seemed to swirl around me.
He'd only been gone a few hours.
He'd left just as the sun was rising.
Now...the sun was setting, dying the sky a crimson red.
It made my heart thud with fear.
He didn't tell me how long he'd be gone.
He only told me that he was going to the council.
To...'sort out a few things'.
I knew that he was trying to make sure I would be safe.
But I felt so afraid without him.
I felt as if I would never be safe without him.
I heard the softest of knocks on my door.
"Yuki? It's me Takuma..." I heard Takuma's voice drift quietly from where he was stood behind the door.
"If you'd like to come to class today, now is the time to start getting ready..."
I knew he was being quiet in fear that I was sleeping and he would wake me.
But I hadn't managed to sleep.
Not at all.
The cold paranoia kept creeping up on me.
As if there was someone in the room...watching me.
I wondered how Kaname dealt with it...if he ever felt the same.
I softly stood up and padded silently to the door.
"Takuma..." I murmured, knowing he would hear me.
"Yes Yuki?" He sounded genuinely concerned, and that helped my paranoia to subside a little.
"Will...will Kaname be alright?" I asked, clinging onto the handle of the door, careful not to mutilate it with accidental strength.
I heard his soft chuckle from behind the door.
"Yes, Yuki. Kaname will be fine. He always is."
I sighed with relief and felt my worry shift dramatically away.
"So, Yuki, will you be joining us in class today?"
Will I?
They'd be suspicious if I didn't turn up...
And I have to go...if for Kaname's sake...and not mine...
"Yes, I will. Thank you Takuma."
I heard him sigh.
In relief?
In disappointment?
"I'm glad! I'll call for you again when it's time for class changeover."
I heard his footsteps fading along the corridor and I instantly rushed back to the bed.
I sat there.
Only for a minute.
I buried my head into my knees and held myself close.
I shivered slightly and decided that I needed a shower.
I slowly walked over to the ensuite and instantly froze.
I hadn't seen my reflection since...since...
I stared openly at myself.
At my long hair.
At the richness of my eyes.
I felt my fingers go up to caress my lips, to make sure that the reflection was really me.
I frowned and shook my head.
It didn't matter.
I was glad.
I was happy that I was beautiful now.
Because it would be enough for Kaname.
I showered quickly and put on my new uniform.
It was identical to my old one, just with the opposite colours.
Kaname had brought me it before he left.
I was glad that he had moved all my old things into our room.
He even got a spare wardrobe just for me.
I snuck back into the bathroom, just to take a glimpse at myself once again.
The change was phenomenal.
That...that couldn't be me.
I swore that my lips were less full.
My hair less thick.
The colour...blander.
But as I stared at myself now, nothing about me was bland.
Nothing.
Everything was as a pureblood should be.
Beautiful...and...strangely perfect.
I smiled serenely at myself then.
I was glad.
Because now, me and Kaname were perfect together.
We matched.
I was no longer the normal, hopeful human girl that I thought I had been.
I was perfect and graceful, just like him.
An odd sense of pride washed over me and I straightened up.
I walked out of the bathroom with a walk that I liked to imagine demanded authority.
I felt in control for once.
And it made me feel happy.
I heard Takuma call me and I instantly exited the room.
The cold paranoia was no longer there.
I felt safe.
No one would dare harm me.
No one would even dare think to harm me.
I strode confidently to the gate and stood before it, the other night class students surrounding me.
I smiled to myself at the wonder of it all.
The gates opened in front of me and my smile dropped.
How could I forget...?
How could I have forgotten about...about him?
About...about...
Zero...
