There was no was denying it after that night. Brittany definitely felt something for Santana. What that was however, was still up for debate. Was it just lust... simple physical attraction? No it couldn't be. Maybe their second kiss has been mostly driven by sexual tension and desire... but that first kiss certainly contained some emotion. Santana was positive about that.

But it didn't stop her from over-analysing each and every single second of their time together over the past days, searching for meaning and answers that she couldn't possibly acquire.

As the week passed and again she did not hear from Brittany at all, Santana began to realize that she could no longer play the victim. She might not have any control over what Brittany was currently thinking or doing... but she did have control over herself. And she was tired of this game.

Kurt was right. No matter how unfair Brittany's actions were right now, Santana still believed that the girl was worth the effort. She wouldn't give up on her yet. At the same time, that didn't mean she had to sit at home and stare at her phone all night, waiting for it to ring either. She needed to distract her ever buzzing thoughts while she waited for Brittany to sort herself out. Well... if Brittany was actually going to sort herself out that is...

Santana figured that even if the blonde decided to stay with her boyfriend and never tell him what happened, she should at least have the decency to call and tell her that. There was no way Brittany would just never contact her again. She might be acting a bit irrational right now but Brittany was definitely not the kind of girl that could ever be that inconsiderate and cruel.

Santana hoped that Brittany would at least be honest with Mike though. If it was her in that position, she would want to know if her girlfriend had cheated or had feelings for someone else, regardless of how much it would hurt. Although, if Brittany did specify that it was Santana that she had gotten involved with, would Mike come beating down her door and throwing accusations at her about trying to steal his girl? Santana wasn't afraid of taking on Mike. She wasn't afraid of taking on anyone. Snix was all the backup she'd ever need. But trash talking a guy who just got his heart broken over something she was at least partly responsible for? That just didn't sit right.

As much as Santana hated to admit it, if Mike came at her, she knew she would just have to take it on the chin. He had every right to despise her. She really should have backed off as soon as she found out Brittany had a boyfriend... or at least after their first little 'non-date' at the movies. Deep down, she knew things felt different that night. She knew that it was leading somewhere beyond friendly territory. But she kept repeating in her mind that she wasn't actively chasing her and she had no intention of making a move.

It was all so confusing. Santana felt guilty but she didn't. She felt she hadn't really gone after Brittany but at the same time she also kinda did. Just because her actions weren't overt didn't mean she was totally innocent. She could have stopped this all along by coming out and telling Brittany exactly how she felt and then promising to leave her alone before things got so out of hand. But instead she just kept convincing herself that she wasn't overstepping.

Now, all the boundaries and lines were blurred.

How far is too far when you develop feelings for someone who's already taken?

The whole thing was making Santana's head spin. She couldn't debate this with herself any longer. She was no innocent bystander. But she also wasn't some evil, girlfriend-stealing, manipulating bitch either. She did her best with the situation. She tried to do what she thought was right. She never wanted to break them up intentionally.

So that was it. She was just going to leave it be. Whatever happened now, she could only accept her actions and deal with the consequences.

By Saturday night, the dust had began to settle somewhat in Santana's mind. She had gone over everything a hundred times, looked at the circumstances from every possible angle. She was done. She just wanted to hang out with Kurt and have some good, clean, distracting fun.

Okay... so maybe not good and clean... but fun nonetheless.

And after all Santana's moping and making Kurt sit around with her to 'talk' about Brittany on multiple occasions, her best friend jumped at the idea of going out for a change.

'It's about damn time we got out of the house girl. I was beginning to think I'd have to beat you out of that slump.' He teased, fixing his hair in her mirror for the millionth time that night. Since they were going clubbing, he opted to ditch the fancy suits and went with a simple black v-neck sweater over a white tee and dark grey, expensive jeans. He looked immaculate as always.

'Like you could with those scrawny little tree branch arms.' Santana quipped, shoving him out of the way with her hip to apply the final touches on her mascara. Even though she wasn't too keen on the idea of going out dancing at a club and could already predict that she was probably going to get bored and want to leave early, she figured anything was better than sitting around brooding in her bedroom at this point. Besides, Kurt had invited his friend Blaine again and he was super excited about it so she didn't want to let him down.

Kurt opened his mouth in mock offense. 'I'll have you know that I get lots of compliments about my figure.'

Santana scoffed. 'Sure you do twink.'

Kurt rolled his eyes and poked her in the shoulder with a mischievous smile. He knew that Santana spurting insults was a good sign. It meant she was finally starting to settle back into her normal self.

Tonight they were going to the only gay club in town. Santana had never been before because it opened just after she left for college. And while Kurt assured her it would be a blast, she didn't have very high hopes for the place. She doubted that there could be more than 30 gay people in this town anyway.

She adjusted her plain black tank top slightly in the mirror. She never could go out without showing off at least some cleavage. Because seriously. Why have it if you're not gonna flaunt it? But other than that, the rest of her outfit - high heeled boots, dark blue skinny jeans and a black leather jacket - was very modest. She wasn't going to the club to pick up after all. She just wanted to be comfortable and have some fun.

Since they both planned on drinking, they caught a cab and met Blaine at the bar. After a quick handshake and smile with the short boy, Santana turned to look around the small club and felt her mouth hanging open at just how many people were there. Sure, it was way too dark and the air smelled of stale stage fog, but the place sure was jumping. There were guys and girls absolutely everywhere. She couldn't tell if they were all gay but she figured it didn't matter. When straight people went to gay bars, they were either really accepting friends of gays or secretly classified themselves as open or pansexual or something equally as ambiguous. Regardless, they were all there to have a good time.

Kurt and Blaine hugged for a particularly long moment and Santana smirked to herself. At least someone's getting it right... She mused, watching their shy smiles carefully as they exchanged a few shouted words of greeting. The music was thudding in her ears. Well, if you could even call it music. All she could really hear was the pumping bass and the screech of electronic notes playing something that resembled a melody faintly over the top. Ugh. I'm already getting a headache.

After allowing the boys what she thought was enough time in their own little world, Santana suggested they get some drinks while they were at the bar. They bought a round, drank it quickly and ordered another. They figured it would be pretty much impossible to drink and dance at the same time, so they downed the second lot just as fast before struggling through the crowd and out to the dance floor.

Kurt and Blaine were quick to find their rhythm, grinding up against each other a little more suggestively than Santana had expected. She rolled her eyes as she danced next to them. Great. Now I get to be the third wheel on a very gay tricycle. Lucky me.

But just as she was preparing to go back to the bar, find herself a seat and get significantly drunker before even attempting to return to the oblivious pair, something caught her attention through the crowd.

A flash of blonde, mysterious hazel eyes. She knew that face.

It was Quinn - one the 'straight' girls she'd briefly dated during her senior year of high school.

Their relationship had always been a secret. Not that it was much of relationship in the first place though. They kinda just hooked up a lot at parties for a few months and skipped class to have sex a couple times. Quinn was always positive that she wasn't gay. She made that very clear to Santana. They were nothing more than fuck buddies. And she was only sleeping with her because she was bored and liked the thrill of doing something she knew her overly strict and religious parents would hate.

Quinn hadn't meant that much to Santana. But it still wasn't fun being used. They'd never been friends during high school, never even really spoken to each other before Santana came out. Then after Quinn found out the Latina's secret, she started flirting and chased her and Santana figured, why the hell not? She may as well enjoy it that a hot cheerleader wanted to mess around with her... even if it was mostly when they were drunk off their asses.

But when the blonde eventually called it off because some girl walked in on them making out in the janitor's closet, she told the whole school that Santana had forced her into the situation against her will. That didn't sit well with the Latina at all. She had enough shit to deal with without being labelled some kind of lesbian, deviant rapist.

Now, seeing Quinn in a gay club, dancing and flirting very openly with some short, brunette girl, Santana felt a sense of smugness and satisfaction overwhelm her. This is gonna be fun.

'Hi Quinn.' She purred, striding up to the couple and tapping the blonde on the shoulder.

When Quinn spun around and saw who was trying to get her attention, her face went pale. 'S-Santana?'

'Oh so you remember me then?' Santana raised a challenging eyebrow.

There was a long pause before the small brunette standing next to them suddenly piped up. 'Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend Quinn?'

Quinn blinked a few times. 'Uh yeah... of course. Santana, this is Rachel. My... my uh...'

'Her girlfriend.' The short girl beamed and extended her hand to Santana for a friendly shake.

'Hi Rachel.' She shook the girl's hand confidently. 'Quinn and I used to be fuck buddies high school. Well... that is until she told everyone that I molested her in the janitor's closet... Isn't that right Q?'

'Uh...' Quinn frowned and looked away while Rachel stared at her in shock.

'Mmhmm.' Santana smirked and nodded. 'I can see that whole I'm not gay thing really stuck well... Have you girls been together long?' Her voice was just coated venom.

'Six months.' Rachel replied, not really looking Santana in the eye.

'Wow Quinn. How are you parents taking that?' Santana prodded.

'We don't really talk anymore. They kicked me out when I told them.' Quinn said quietly, her words almost completely engulfed by the music.

Santana faltered. Maybe she shouldn't be going so hard on the girl. What Quinn had done to her in high school was not cool and she still held some resentment towards the hypocritical blonde for it... but coming out is hard. It's not exactly fun for anyone. And from what it sounded like, it had been particularly difficult for Quinn. 'Oh...' She said slowly and softened her posture. 'That sucks.'

'Yeah.' Quinn returned, looking utterly defeated.

Santana took a deep breath and sighed, already cursing herself for what she was about to say. 'Listen... How bout we just forget about it now? Okay? That shit's in the past and... we've both grown up so... Why don't you buy me a drink and we'll call it even?' Santana smiled gently, realizing that a few years ago, she never would have forgiven Quinn for spreading those ridiculous rumors about her. She must really be going soft.

Rachel seemed to perk up at the suggestion and took Quinn's hand in hers encouragingly. The blonde nodded and accepted the idea with a grateful smile; the couple leading the way back over to the bar.

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Three hours and almost ten drinks later, Santana, Kurt, Blaine, Quinn and Rachel were sitting at the bar about to do another round of shots.

'1... 2... 3!' Blaine yelled and the group tossed back their tequila with withered faces.

'Fuck! It tastes like poison!' Santana exclaimed, quickly reaching for her vodka orange to wash away the sting.

'That shit cray!' Quinn shook her head and poked out her tongue, swaying a bit in place as Rachel grabbed her arm to stop from falling over.

After alcohol was dropped into the mix, all had been forgiven. Quinn began apologizing profusely around her seventh cosmo and Santana simply grinned softly and accepted her messy sorry's and explanations. She could tell the blonde genuinely felt bad for the way she'd treated her in high school and she figured it was only fair to give her a break. Everyone had their own way of dealing (or not dealing) with tough emotions. And it was so long ago now, it really didn't matter.

Quinn told her the story of how she had been fighting her fears all throughout high school and when Santana revealed her sexuality, she had seen it as a good opportunity to explore her own emotions. She had been scared and defensive. And she felt horrible about how she'd used the Latina for her own selfish purposes. Quinn even told Santana that she had really liked her at one point... but when they were discovered, she was terrified her parents would find out so she lied and ran from the situation.

Quinn eventually came out to her parents just before she started college and they immediately made it clear they wanted nothing more to do with her. She talked to her mother now on the odd occasion but she hadn't once spoken to her dad since.

Santana felt for the girl. She might have spent all these years hating her but things must have been really hard for Quinn. She didn't even want imagine how her life could have turned out with parents like that.

She was just pleased that Quinn now seemed to be out and proud and that she had a girlfriend she was clearly in love with... even if Rachel was quite loud and annoying... and broke out into song far more often than appropriate. The two girls seemed happy together and were constantly smiling and hugging.

It was actually making her kinda jealous.

And suddenly her thoughts were all on Brittany.

Santana sighed as the group around her laughed and chatted. Kurt had Blaine. Quinn had Rachel.

She was now the fifth wheel on this big shiny bus of homosexual delights.

I need another drink.

'Santana! I was just telling Rachel how you were the most amazing kisser!' Quinn suddenly blurted, turning away from the whispered conversation she was having with her girlfriend and facing the Latina. At this, Kurt and Blaine also glanced over at her with smug, curious grins.

'Huh?' Santana's eyebrows shot up. Clearly the girls were very comfortable with their relationship. As the night went on, Santana noticed that Rachel didn't seem at all jealous about the fact her and Quinn had a history. Or maybe that was just the excessive amounts of vodka and tequila...

'Why do you think I kept coming back for more?' Quinn waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Santana smirked despite herself. 'Well I was the hottest piece of action at that disgusting, broken down school.'

Kurt and Blaine laughed and Quinn nudged Rachel with her elbow pointedly. 'Rach, why don't you ask Santana to show you her skills?'

Santana blinked hard at this. She couldn't possibly have heard right. Was Quinn actually suggesting what she thought she was? That last shot must have really gone to her head.

'Do it! Do it! Do it!' Kurt and Blaine began chanting in unison behind her as Quinn shoved Rachel forward.

Nope. It was real. This was actually happening.

Rachel looked up at her shyly and bit her bottom lip.

'Uh...' Santana stalled. She didn't want to make out with Rachel... or any random girl for that matter. Even in her drunken haze, she knew she only wanted Brittany.

But suddenly a spiteful thought struck her.

If Brittany hadn't told Mike about her, then they could be making out right now. Or worse. Santana shuddered. The image of Brittany being that close to someone else was enough to change her mood completely. If the blonde didn't care about her feelings right now... well then she didn't care either.

Santana leaned forward and pressed her lips against Rachel's in a heated kiss. It was a bit messier than she preferred and she was using far more tongue than usual... but that's just what happens when you get your mack on with a stranger while drunk. The group around her cheered and yelled suggestive things as they kissed. Santana felt nothing. The unfamiliar lips on her own drew no spark, no emotion. The act felt pointless.

But when she pulled away, she plastered a wide smirk of accomplishment on her face. A kiss was still a kiss. She could deal with the emptiness and regret in the morning.

Rachel grinned stupidly and nodded her head at Quinn. 'You were right! Her lips are soooo soft!' She squealed and Quinn just laughed.

'Yeah I think I remember how that went... But just to be sure.' Quinn surprised Santana completely as she lunged at her, joining their lips in a heavy kiss. Her hand wrapped tightly into the Latina's hair as she pushed her tongue into her mouth.

Rachel, Kurt and Blaine once again laughed and applauded loudly. Santana barely even had a chance to think though before the blonde withdrew, licking her lips with a smirk.

'Mmm... Soft.' Quinn winked flirtatiously.

And then Santana began to feel extremely uncomfortable, the emotion manifesting as a strong churn in her stomach. Not because Quinn was a bad kisser. And not because the actions of either girl were totally unwanted.

But because she wished more than anything that she had been kissing Brittany instead... That Brittany was hers to kiss. All of that stuff she was planning to put off thinking about until the morning was suddenly making her head fuzzy. Quinn and Rachel could kiss her now and laugh and be idiots... but in the end, none of it mattered because they got to go home together and wake up to each other in the morning.

Santana didn't have anyone. And all too quickly, that feeling of loneliness cooled her skin and made her feel sick.

She excused herself and rushed to the bathroom, vomiting up more than she ever thought her stomach could contain. When she was finally done, she sat on the cold tile with her head in her heads and slumped back against the stall door, groaning weakly. The feeling was still there, grimy and unpleasant. She couldn't even throw it up. And she knew it would only be ten times worse in the morning.

The most annoying part was that along with the sadness and hopelessness that was beginning to take over her thoughts... she felt guilty.

Even though Brittany wasn't hers and she didn't owe her anything and those kisses she shared with Rachel and Quinn were anything but serious... she felt as if she had betrayed herself somehow. In the past, she swore that she wouldn't run from her feelings ever again... and that she wouldn't mess around with random girls to avoid her issues or just for the hell of it.

But was it really that big of a deal? She had nothing to feel bad about. It had meant nothing. It was just a bit of fun. She shouldn't be beating herself up over it.

Santana sighed and leaned her head back against the door, feeling the whole room tilt and lurch around her. Things never went well when she got this drunk.

She was really going to hate waking up tomorrow.

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A/N: If you don't like the Quinntana/Pezberry stuff please don't yell at me lol I promise that's all and it won't ever happen again... but it was kinda necessary for the sake of the story.

And I also apologize for the lack of Brittany in this chapter but again, that was necessary. I know it's hard that her stuff is all going on behind the scenes and it would be nice to hear her perspective too... But that's not how this story goes. In real life, you don't know the other person's side until you hear it for yourself. And don't worry, you will hear it all in good time.

Let me know what you thought!

And if you enjoy some Faberry appearances, give me the heads up and I might bring them back at some point later in the story! :D

P.S. In case you missed it, Quinn saying 'That shit cray' was a little nod to Dianna's infamous tweet a while back lol Random =P