Physically, I was a totally different person. I wore colour contacts now; light blue was her colour of choice to make it look like I belonged when I didn't. I even got a spray tan a short while after that. She waxed my eyebrows into a new shape and threw my old make-up away and replaced it with a new one. She dyed my hair blonde, which, sadly, reminded me of Lissa's. I slipped into her head while Yeva worked at my hair. She was meant to be messaging the dye into my hair, but it felt more like she was starting a lawn mower.

"Okay, Liss, try again. Think of Christian. You want in his head. Just take yourself there. Close your eyes and imagine him there. Feel him. Make yourself believe that you are there."

Lissa could hear Adrian's soothing voice as he tried to instruct her, again, to walk into Christian's dreams. Christian hadn't loved the idea of him falling asleep as she trained, but she couldn't be sure if I was asleep or not, since she had no idea which country I was in. Christian was lying unconscious on the ground, snoring slightly. He didn't look very comfortable.

Lissa closed her eyes and pictured herself with Christian, holding hands as his arms were wrapped around her. I mentally rolled my eyes at her.

She was trying so hard to make this work in the hope she could talk to me, she wasn't breathing. She could feel herself get red in the face, and when she finally breathed out, she wasn't where she was before.

We were in a garden with apple trees around us. It was very odd, but where we were wasn't the problem. I was starring at Lissa, and her back at me.

"Rose? What have you done?"

I was slapped out of her head and into mine again. I was breathing as hard as she had been after she had held her breath. Yeva looked at me oddly, and then seemed to realize what was going on. I suppose she was good friends with Oksana and Mark after all.

"Well that was odd." I said, mostly to myself.

Yeva smiled. "How is Lissa?"

I turned my head to look at her. She wasn't touching my head anymore. It was wrapped in cling wrap now. Twenty minutes was set on the timer.

"More than fine, I think. I guess I'll talk to her tonight."

She raised her eyebrows. "That's quite dangerous…for the both of you."

I sighed. "Long story short. She managed to dream walk."

Yeva's eyes widened. "I have heard many stories from Oksana about what she can do. Dream walk was not one of those things."

I shrugged. "Adrian can do it. She learned so she could talk to me."

Yeva changed the subject completely for some strange reason.

"I have cut your hair only a little to neaten it out. You're a blonde, and your name is Anastasia Belikov. You were born in Baia and have trained in an American academy, not Saint Vladimir, for all your life, since your mother didn't approve of you being a guardian. Now you are back and experiencing everything you missed out on."

I clapped sarcastically. "Great." I dragged out.

She slapped me over the back of my head.

"OW!" I complained. "What was that for?"

She shrugged. "I'm guessing I will have to do that often. Just thought I'd get a head start."

I stared at her in shock.

"Now go wash this stuff out of your hair. Tonight, we have guests."

I was insisted to wear one of Viktoria's dresses, which felt wrong. She had never really forgiven me for breaking up her date back then, and it just felt weird borrowing stuff that she would never let me use if she were here.

"She won't even realize when she gets back," Olena had told me.

Yeva dragged me into the dining room, made her 'final touches' then made me look in the mirror. I was so pretty! It was sickening. The blonde, straight cut hair looked all wrong, and the darker coloured make up looked like I had a fake tan under really awful make up covering that was way too light the way that Yeva had put it on.

This was it. This was going to be my life for a while. Hiding, again. Looking, again. Hurt, again. And, in a stick situation that I didn't need to be in.

I stood up and turned around. "Really? No, I'm sorry. This has just gone on for too long. I can't do this anymore."

I headed up towards the stairs, my mood had been drained. Olena walked quickly after me. She stopped me at the foot of the stairs and tilted my chin with her cold, fully manicured hand.

"What's going on with you, Roza?"

It was like another slap every time she used that word.

I sighed. "I can't do this. What's my life gonna be after all this is through? More mistakes that aren't mine? But, as usual, they'll continue to include me in the most horrible way. Lissa will have a good life. She'll go to college, and just…be happy. And I'll have to pretend that I am too, just so she doesn't get anxious.

"And then after that? After the mistakes? My life is going to be in danger twenty four seven. I can't be with whoever I want. No one if the court still rules at that point.

"I've always wanted this. But, Olena…maybe I just don't see my life as being a Guardian anymore. I just wanna be…free."

She was looking at me with such sympathy in her eyes. She knew what I saw. All this trouble, Dimitri had probably told her in the letters, to me in this short space of time. It was getting to be too much for me.

I had told myself that so long as Dimitri was here by my side, everything would be alright. He was back, and he still wasn't there.

He made his choice.

"And without Dimitri and Lissa by my side…I just don't see the point in hiding from this anymore. Something has to change, and I tried to be it, but it's not me. It's something, someone else."

She flinched when I had said Dimitri's name, but she kept her cool. She wrapped her arms around me.

"Oh Roza," she sighed. A tear leaked from my eye, but I caught it without her knowing, and quick enough for it not to ruin the make up anymore than Yeva had done.

"Dimitri would be proud of you," she told me. She was way off, but she didn't know the new Dimitri Belikov. "You're so brave, so strong, and you know what has to be done. You'll do it, eventually. These things just take some time."

I nodded.

She continued. "If he were still here, I know he would help you through this."

"How can you be so sure?" I asked in a more firm voice. "Maybe he's changed."

She shook her head, although she had a small smile placed on her face. "No matter how much Dimitri changes, he'll always want you. Always. No matter how much he tries to deny it. He only does what he thinks is best. Through life and death."

I really wished that was true.

I decided to head up stairs, with Yeva's permission of course, to take off the make up and replace it with a better coat. I stared into the sink for a moment, resting against either side of the bowl with my hands. I thought I would throw up, all that commotion. But I stayed strong, in the end.

I closed my eyes and let my mind slip into Lissa's. All plans to go to her new academy had been put on hold since there was a dangerous killer on the loose. Apparently, it was decided that Lissa should remain there until I was either killed or retained.

My heart clenched as I saw her in a large room with Dimitri, Christian and Mia. They were all sweating madly, but Dimitri was the less severe case. Lissa was gasping to catch her breath.

"That was some nice work, Liss." Christian commented to her.

Dimitri had already caught his breath, not that he was out any, and nodded his head.

"It isn't easy for someone who hasn't run that hard before to run six laps. Now, lets see if we can get you to run seven non stop next week."

She groaned.

He had never given me that much of a complement when we were training, and that wasn't one of the best in the world. Why was he going so easy on her? Smiling with her? He had never done that to me before. Seeing that made me want to sulk.

Dimitri looked into Lissa's eyes with a smile, but it dropped as he found something.

"Rose?"

I snapped back out of her head, just like before. I stumbled, catching myself on the counter top, clutching my head with a serious headache. I groaned and reached for some of the penicillin from within the drawer and dry swallowed it.

That was absolutely horrible.

But he had seen me.

How?

I grasped the rail as I walked down the stairs again, the pain in my head not fading. I had somehow been able to reapply my make up, and when I sat in one of the chairs, I rested my head on the soft napkin.

"Roza? Are you alright?" Olena's worried voice came from the doorway.

"Call Oksana." I gasped in a plea. "Please."

Olena wasted no time. She grabbed the phone, dialed the number, then handed me the phone. She stood behind me, hoping she could get some information into her worried head about what happened to me.

"Hello?" there was a pleasant greeting.

I tried to manage a normal voice, and failed. "Oksana. I need your help."

"Rose? What's going on? Are you alright? Where's Olena?"

"She's right here. I was inside Lissa's head, and D- Christian looked into her eyes and saw me. He said my name and I was snapped out of her head, and now I have this killer headache. I was fine before." I explained.

She gasped. "He saw you?"

I made out an affirmative hum.

"I'll be right over. I think I can help."

I grunted. "Thank you."

"Ca you pass the phone to Olena please?"

I was more than happy too, and once I could stop pretending, I put my head back on the table and breathed in deeply. I couldn't make out what Olena was saying into the phone, my pulse was pounding in my ears.

But I remember scratching myself on the head before I passed out.