My hot chocolate was singeing my tongue and hands as I clutched the cup. Dimitri paced back and forth in front of me, trying to think of what to say. I tried to stay cool, pretending that I didn't care whether he was here or not. I shouldn't have cared, but I did. The sight of him still made my heart flutter like a thousand humming birds.

He made his choice.

After a few moments of standing still to the left of me, he pulled up a chair and sat in front of me, his hands pressed together to his chin. He didn't say anything again, not like I had expected. I thought he would start with a big lecture about not telling him where I was and all that…but then again.

He made his choice.

I refused to look at him, staring deep into my hot chocolate, waiting for him to make the first move. Was it really that hard to say "What the hell, Rose."? It's not like I could tell him off for anything.

"So you are-" he began, cutting short to rethink his words.

I knew what he was going to say. "I was staying here. Now thanks to your little stunt, I have to move country again!"

I slammed my now empty mug down on the table and pulled myself away from it. He caught me by the arm as I walked, spinning me around. I snatched my hand back.

"Don't touch me." I warned. "Do you think I like moving around? Always on the run? Do you think that maybe I don't want to just stay in the same place? Have friends that will always be close to me? You're wrong!"

Huh. Maybe I did have something to tell him off about.

"Roza…"

"No. Don't call me that. You knew where I was! You knew I had to be safe! What were you thinking? Did you honestly think that no one was watching you?"

"Rose." He said sternly, cutting me off. "If you'll let me explain…"

"No. I've had enough with everyone's explanations. You've screwed up, just like everyone else, and now, as always, I pay for it."

I started too walked again, towards the staircase. He did not grab my arm this time, nor did he make any attempt to stop me. I reached the bottom of the staircase before he talked again.

"I needed to make sure you were safe. Was that so much to ask?"

I looked at him. "You've only made it worse."

I ran up the stairs, hearing his fast footsteps come up behind me. I turned into his room, making no effort to close the door. There was no lock on it anyway.

I dragged my suitcase out from underneath the bed.

As much as I hated this whole situation, I knew it would come sometime. I felt that this was my one chance to get out, to start finding these pricks who wanted to kill me. I slammed the suitcase onto the bed, took a large breath in, then opened the drawers and stuffed everything in carelessly.

Dimitri was at the door instantly.

"So what are you going to do?" he asked breathlessly, in a tone that suggested he hoped I had no answer. "Just run out of here? You called Abe, but he made no arrangements that you know about. I know that much."

I turned on him. "And if I do? If I just run out of here, totally unguided. Why would you even bother to care?"

"Roza…"

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" I felt the urge of tears brimming at my eyes, but I swallowed them down, only to be replaced by more. "I gave up everything for you! I quite school! I gave up on Lissa! I ran away! I was in danger every second I went looking for you! But I thought it would be worth it. I thought that if I could get you back, all that pain and suffering would pay off."

I closed my eyes in an attempt to control myself. I gave up quickly.

"I was wrong thinking that everything would just go back to the way it was. I know now it won't be. Ever.

"When you said you wanted Lissa and not me, you killed me. You killed me repeatedly over those few months. But if I've learnt one thing through this… one thing…

"You can kill a person as many times as you want, but they will never come back more than once."

I turned away from him, embarrassed my the three tears that clung to my cheeks and chin. I continued stuffing my life into the suitcase, realising I only had a few more objects to place in there. I closed it with little effort, zipping it up quickly, then heaved it off the bed and rolled it down the staircase, leaving behind a shocked Dimitri.

I left the suitcase by the door and headed into the kitchen for my wallet. Dimitri ran down the stairs in a surprisingly calm manner, stopping when he saw I hadn't left yet.

He didn't need to say anything. Not anymore. We starred each other in the eyes for a moment before I broke it off and opened the front door.

"Rose-" he stopped me once again. "Please, Rose."

I let myself think. He wanted to explain, something that I had craved for such a long time. But did I really want it now? It was obvious how much trouble he had caused me, and it was true, I would always love him, but did I really want the explanation? Would it hurt?

He made his choice.

I sighed and turned to him. "What?" I said icily.

"I'm not good enough for you, Roza. I never have been, I never will be. I knew that. When I realised what I had done…all the people I killed…Rose I remembered the second best. I felt the….pleasure, that's what I remember, and it disgusted me. I knew it would disgust you too.

"I remembered all the pain I put you through, all the fear and guilt and sorrow, the best. I remember your face every time I walked into the room. You were scared, so scared. To think that I had put you through all of that willingly…" he placed a hand at the side of my neck and looked me deep in the eyes. There was nothing else then. Just him, me and touch.

"Lissa had seen into my mind, and I knew that if I couldn't have you, I would hold onto you in every way I could while denying I ever was. Lissa was my answer."

"You made your choice…" I breathed in a cry. "But you…it doesn't make sense. You…you fought for me…and me…"

"Put it together, Roza." He urged.

I swallowed, breathing deeply to calm myself. "You made your choice for me." I whispered. "You fought for me."

"And I always will. This is my choice, Roza. I love you. And I am never going to be deserving of you…I'll never make it up to you…but I'll keep trying."

The words I always wanted to hear were confusing me.

A new line played over in my head now.

Did I really want to hear them?

Hey! So I got the chapter out tonight, and might I say, I am very tired right now. It is…10.09pm and the grandparents have gone to bed after watching Alvin and the Chipmunks for the first time. Trying not too much noise with the keyboard and all…

Anyway, its not what you want to hear, I know, Im sorry. But I'm curious to know what you wanted to happen. Her just to run into his arms after all that? Seriously? You may want that, but if I wrote that, it would be all wrong.

Sorry it's so short, as I said, im trying to keep it down in here. But I have to say…this is my favourite chapter so far.

Tell me what you think.

Nightie night!

Lauren