Here is another chapter. Enjoy.
Chapter 11 - Morning
Santana woke up the next morning but before she even opened her eyes she realized that she didn't have a shirt on. Remembering the events of the night before she felt around the bed. When she didn't feel Brittany next to her she snapped her eyes open and looked around the room. Brittany was no where to be seen. All the clothes that had been on the floor were gone except for her t-shirt and shorts which were lying on the chair in the corner of the room.
Santana brought her hands up to her face rubbing her palms into her eyes. Not again. This can't be happening again. I thought Brittany was different. She said she wouldn't leave. And I believed her how stupid am I? Very apparently cause she did leave. She threw her fists into the sheets. "Stupid, stupid, stupid." She whispered to herself as a few tears rolled down her face. She rolled over and cried into her pillow.
Santana had her head buried in her pillow and didn't hear the bedroom door open. Brittany opened the door slowly as to not wake Santana if she was still sleeping. She took a step into the room and stopped when she heard a whimper come from Santana. "Santana?" She whispered. She took a few steps closer to the bed. "Santana?" She said again this time a little louder.
When Santana heard her voice she picked her head up out of the pillow and looked in the direction of where her name came from. "Brittany?" She said her voice cracking.
"Are you crying?" Brittany said moving to sit on the edge of the bed next to Santana. She rubbed the brunette's back with her hand. "What's wrong?"
Realizing that Brittany didn't leave Santana felt slightly embarrassed and buried her head in her pillow again. "I thought you left." She mumbled into the pillow.
"What? I can't hear you. Come here." She pulled Santana up into a sitting position and then pulled her into a hug. "Now what's wrong?" She said again.
A few more tears ran down Santana's face and landing on the front of Brittany's shirt where her head was resting. She sniffled. "I thought you left."
Brittany stroked her hair. "Oh sweetie. I'm right here. I didn't leave. I'm not going anywhere I told you that." She squeezed Santana tighter.
Regaining some composure Santana wrapped her arms around Brittany holding on to her. "I know you said you wouldn't leave but when I woke up you weren't in bed and all your clothes were gone. I thought you left."
"I didn't leave. I woke up and saw you sleeping so peacefully that I didn't want to wake you. So I picked up my clothes off the floor and folded them up. I put on this shirt and went to the kitchen to make coffee." She explained placing a kiss to the top of Santana's head.
"Really?" Santana asked looking up at Brittany.
"Yes really." Brittany chuckled. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you that I'm not going anywhere. But I will tell you as many times as I need to until you believe me. I know this is a difficult thing for you and you have been hurt by people leaving in your past. But you are stuck with me Santana."
Santana buried her face in the crook of Brittany's neck. "Thank you." Placing a kiss on her neck.
"For what?" Brittany wondered.
"For being patient with me. For understanding. And for last night. It was amazing by the way."
"You're welcome. And I know. I heard you say so last night before I fell asleep."
Santana pulled back from their embrace so she could look Brittany in the eyes. "You were awake?" She knitted her eyebrow together.
"Yeah but only a little. That's the last thing I remember before falling asleep." She smiled at Santana. "How about you put a shirt on and come join me for a cup of coffee. Not that I am complaining. I could sit here all day with you mostly naked wrapped around me. But I'm kinda hungry so maybe we could make some breakfast."
Santana blushed remember she was only in her panties. "Ok."
Brittany kissed Santana and then stood up and went back to the kitchen. She found the cabinets that the mugs were in and got two out. She poured a cup of coffee for Santana and herself. Then she took the two mugs and sat down at the table waiting for Santana. She sat there thinking about the events of the night before and even what had just happened. I really need to find out why she's so scared that I'll leave her. I would never leave her I love her. Wait did I just say that. No duh I didn't say it but I thought it. Oh crap. Wow. Now I really need to know the truth. "What are you thinking about?" Santana asked bringing Brittany out of her thoughts.
"What? Nothing." She said quickly.
"That goofy grin on your face tells me that it's not nothing. So what is it?"
Brittany began to panic. What should I say? You. I can't tell her I was thinking about her. I can't ask her why she's so scared can I? I definitely can't tell her that I love her. It's too early for that. Crap. Crap. Think. Think.
"Uh- uh." Not thinking of anything to say.
"Just tell me Britt."
"Um- uh- you. I was thinking about you but not like in the dirty way. Crap." She said nervously. "In a good way but not dirty- like a good way. Why I would never leave you. Crap. I'm just gonna shut up now. I said too much."
Santana chuckled at Brittany fumbling over her words. "You're cute when you're flustered. And you didn't say too much. Actually I'm not sure what you said. Just slow down and tell me what you were thinking."
Brittany took a deep breath thinking it over. "Don't get mad at me. Ok?"
"I won't get mad at you Brittany. What were you thinking?"
"Well I was thinking that-" She paused look down at the table. "That I need to find out why you're so scared that I will leave." She looked back at Santana to see if she was mad.
Santana looked at Brittany confused. "That's what you were thinking about. I thought you said it was good. You had a happy smile on your face. How is that a good thing?"
"It was really what I thought about after that that made me happy and smile. That I'd never leave you." She smiled at Santana thinking again the reason why she wouldn't leave her. Santana gave her a small smile back still confused. "You don't have to if you're not ready but will you tell me why you are so scared that I'll leave? Why do you think everyone always leaves."
Santana sighed out. "Ok. I guess I'll tell you. If you're not going anywhere then I'll have to tell you sooner or later."
Brittany gave her a big encouraging smile at what she had just said. "I'm listening."
Santana sat down in the chair next to Brittany with her coffee and began. "Well I'll start from the beginning. Remember how I told you that my parents weren't around a lot the older that I got."
"Yeah I remember." Brittany stated.
"Ok well my dad is a doctor and he spent all of his time at the hospital. He only came home to sleep and then he would go right back to work. My mom wasn't much better. She is a travel agent and she spent three or four evenings of the week with her friends. Seeing as my dad wasn't home she wasn't home either. I had a babysitter on weekdays and my mom would be home on the weekends and I would spend time with her. When I was thirteen they fired the babysitter figuring I was old enough to take care of myself."
Santana took a drink of her coffee steadying herself for what she was going to say next. "When I was sixteen I had a girl in my room and we were making out when my mom walked in on us. I hadn't told my parents that I was gay. My mother started screaming at me and the girl ran out of my house terrified."
"Oh that's horrible." Brittany whispered.
"Yeah. Well it gets worse. My mother was screaming and she pulled me off the bed and threw me out of the house. So I went over to my grandmother's house but she wouldn't even answer the door. Later I found out that my mother called her as soon as she threw me out." She stopped. Brittany had her hand over her mouth.
"What did you do?"
"I went back home and I sat on the front steps. I didn't know what else to do. I sat there until it got dark. Eventually my mother opened the door and let me back in. She didn't say anything to me she just looked at me in disgust. I went up to my room and cried myself to sleep." She sighed. Brittany put her hand on Santana back rubbing slow circles around her back.
"So what happened next?" Brittany asked trying to get Santana to tell her the rest.
"Days went by and my parents didn't say a word to me. My mother had told my father. I tried to talk to them about it but they just told me that homosexuality is a sin and they didn't accept it. They had a sinner living in their house. They couldn't throw me out that was a sin in their eyes too. So I stayed but they left. I hardly ever saw them. My father was at the hospital all of the time. My mother well I don't know where my mother was. She worked and spent even more time with her friends. And being a travel agent she took a lot of vacations. They were gone all the time. They literally would leave me in that big house all by myself. I always had enough food and money for the things that I needed but other than that they abandoned me." Santana said dropping her head to the table.
"I'm so sorry Santana. I'm so sorry that happened to you." Brittany comforted while still rubbing her back.
Santana continued though. "When I was eighteen they wouldn't support me financially anymore and kicked me out. That's when I moved here and started working odd jobs until I got a lucky break and got my DJ job at NP's. As far as dating goes I have an awful track record. I've never been in a long-term relationship. I have gone out on dates with girls but most don't make it past the first date. And the few that did ended up leaving me within another couple of dates. I had one girlfriend and I told her everything I just told you. When I was finished she got up and walked out the door. I never saw or heard from her again." She lifted her head off the table and looked up at Brittany. "You're not gonna walk out the door now are you?" She said in a chuckle.
"Nope not going anywhere." Brittany reassured Santana.
"Well good." She took a sip of her coffee. "Now I feel kinda sad and needy and pathetic."
"Oh sweetie you're not any of those things. What happened to you is really crappy and you never should have had to deal with something like that. Come here." She pulled Santana onto her lap and just held her. They sat there for a long while just like that.
"Santana?" Brittany spoke up eventually. Santana just gave Brittany a 'hmm' in response. So Brittany continued. "I don't mean to break up this quiet moment but do you think we could make breakfast? I'm starving." Santana let out a small laugh into the crook of the blondes neck but didn't make a move. "Please?" Brittany pouted craning her neck trying to look at Santana's face.
The brunette sighed. "Ok fine I guess we should eat." She gave Brittany a quick peck on the lips and got up and went to the refrigerator. "What do you want to eat?"
"Um- do you have eggs?"
"Yeah you want eggs?"
"Do you have bread?"
"Yeah?" Santana said wondered what the blonde was thinking.
"Then lets make French Toast." She said excitedly clapping her hands together. "Yay!"
Santana smiled shaking her head as she got the eggs and bread out. She got out a skillet and preceded to make French Toast for the two of them. When it was finished they sat down to eat their breakfast.
"This is really good Santana. Thanks for making breakfast."
"Not a problem. Gotta keep you fed. You need energy being all strong and muscular and athletic. Wouldn't want anything to happen to that gorgeous dancers body of yours."
"Santana stop it."
"No seriously Britt. When am I gonna get you back in that bed and get to see that body again?"
"I don't know. You'll have to wait and see." Brittany teased. "We'll see what happens."
"Oh come on." Santana pouted put her fork down and crossed her arm over her chest.
Upon seeing this Brittany added. "Don't worry I'm sure it won't be very long."
"Fine." Santana said still with her best pouty face firmly in place.
"So" Brittany began "do you have any plans for the afternoon?"
"No." Still pouting.
"Well what if we pick out some movies and cuddle up in bed together to watch them."
Santana's pout turned into a big smile when she heard this. "Brittany you're a genius. I couldn't think of a better way to spend a Sunday afternoon."
"Good now come with me. We have some big movie picking decisions to make." She took Santana by the hand so they could pick out some movies to watch. After they picked out three movies they curled up under the cover and started their movie marathon.
Not the most upbeat chapter. But it explains a lot. I know its been awhile since I updated last but I had to take a break and refocus after I wrote the next couple of chapters. Currently working on chapter 16.
