She shouldn't have been able to do this to him. He was strong, he was cold, he was indifferent to everything and everyone around him. He was a shadowhunter. But Angel, she made him everything he wasn't. She made him tremble, made him warm, made him care about something for once.
And you...Could bring me to my knees...Again.
He wanted her more than he ever wanted anything. More than the knives for his birthday, more than the hot fairy across the bar that had too much to drink, more than the biggest kill of the week. She made him want to beg for mercy, to beg for her to stay for just a moment longer, even if it was all in vain.
All the times... When I could beg you please...In vain.
Her actions made him hesitate. Him, who never once hesitated to do anything, stumbled in his actions. She made the man whose ego was the size of Texas feel insecure. Should he pull her into his arms? Could he brush back her hair? Just once?
All the times... When I felt insecure...For you
He knew she could feel the baggage he carried like a lead brick. He saw how it made her uneasy. But he could let it go, drop his worries if only she asked.
And I leave... My burdens at the door...
But she wouldn't let him. She shunned him away, kept him outside the door. But he could see straight through her façade. She wanted this just as bad as he did. He could see her, the real her, and she knew it damn well.
But I'm on the outside, I'm looking in.
I can see through you, see your true colors.
Cause inside your ugly, your ugly like me.
I can see through you, see to the real you.
God, he could feel the pain tearing through his heart all time now. It would never end and it was because of her. All because of her.
If he concentrated, he could still taste the sweet green apple of her lips. He could taste what would never be his to have again.
Everything he did, he did so with a sense of confidence. But she was shattering that quickly and he even felt the urge to shed a tear once or twice. Not like he'd admit that to anyone. He was prideful and he preferred everyone to see him as an asshat as she had put it.
All the times...That I felt like this won't end...It's for you.
And I taste...What I could never have...It was from you.
All the times...That I've cried...My intentions...Were full of pride.
And now he was wasting more time by wallowing in his misery. Was there a record for most wasted time on a love you'd never have?
But I waste...More time than anyone...
This was it. He would shove down the pathetic tears and shove down the pain like he always did. He would stop trying to mend, stop being a lazy ass and do something. He'd make tomorrow better.
All the times...That I've cried...
All this wasted...It's all inside...
And I feel...All this pain...
Stuffed it down...It's back again...
And I lie...Here in bed...
All alone...I can't mend...But I feel...Tomorrow will be ok.
Jace would make Clary see that he could see she wanted this too.
I'm on the outside and I'm looking in.
I can see through you, see your true colors.
Cause inside your ugly, your ugly like me.
I can see through you, see to the real you.
A/n: Do I get love for making this longer than most? :D please? I even showed Jace's sensitive side! Brownie points anyone? Oh. And I hope I made it clear that this was Jace and he was talking about Clary…I avoided their names for some inane reason til the end. Hope you enjoyed.
