"Nyaaaa, now what have you learned?" asked kitty as she hammered the dents out of a jade helm.
A tinny voice came from within the helmet sitting on the work bench. Behind Kitty other people and furries were repairing various pieces of green armour. "Don't be late or people will hit you with a big flaming rock?"
"Good," she said, picking the helmet up to eye level to check for anymore damage. "Nya, good thing all you are is a suit of armour or this would be a lot harder."
"Yeah," sighed the helmet of the Jade Knight.
In the corner of the room a crowd was milling about, various pointy objects aimed down at something. A part in the bodies shows two leafy green gauntlets typed away on a keyboard.
"Poor Richard, you can't just put him back together." The Knight was saddened by the demise of his co-author, it meant he had to do all the work now.
"Nya, we never found him," said Kitty as she placed the helmet on the table and picked up an forarm.
"What," asked the helm. "Were is he, he was there when I was hit."
"We know," kitty replied. "But when we dug down all we found was you and the word 'Coatoan' carved into the stone."
For a moment the helm was silent. "You know, I have no idea what that's supposed to mean. But I'm scared."
"Nya, you should be. You, nyaa, should be."
-in case you dont know 'nya' is the sound made by some cats in japanese anime-
Alright... chapter 16 here. Seventeen is with Richard and I'm working on 18... so not too shabby I say. Hope they have me built before long. My hands get awful sore with no arms to support them.
-Jade
And thank you to all the reviewers! We just crossed over 300 reviews! whoot! a personal record!
-thanks again
Sokka: Master of the Black Sword
Author: The Jade Knight
Co-Author: Richard Caine
Beta: Kitty (A.K.A. kathykatinahat)
-The Resistance Saga-
Chapter 16
-
The Story of Sokka
Man's Greatest Mystery
-
I sat down in the main seating area of the Lotus Garden and just stared off into space, the jasmine tea cooling in my hands. I was still thinking about what I was going to say to Suki when I saw her. And since Yue said that she was inside Ba Sing Se, that could be as soon as hour from now. I raised the cup to my lips and took another sip, allowing the hot liquid to distract me for a moment.
I suppose some guys might try to hold off on telling Suki that it wouldn't work; maybe keeping her as a fall back. I pulled a disgusted face. I could never do that. It was dishonorable and cheap. She could never be happy with me and she should move on as soon as possible. I wanted her to have a good life with someone who cared for her. I took another sip of the tea and went back to my thoughts.
"I was woken up by the most interesting dream," said Piando-sensei as he sat down across from me. "Seeing as you are also up and fully awake might I assume you also had one?"
"Yeah," I sighed, staring into my cup. "Although I could think of a few other words to describe it."
"Such as?"
"I dunno," I replied as I took another sip from the tea cup. "I was just trying to make a point."
"I see," he answered as a waiter brought over another cup of something steamy for Piando. He thanked them and we were alone again. "Yue said you would need to speak with me right away."
"Oh?" I asked, looking up for the first time.
"You have figured out that she is one of your Ger-Ghanim?"
"Yeah, meeting her in a dream kinda tipped me to her being the incarnation of it."
"And did you also converse with La?" he asked delicately.
"Yes, we have a lot in common, such as not liking little kittens," I chuckled.
"Hmm," he said taking another sip of tea, looking like he wanted to add something but deciding against it.
"And I could use your help."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, Yue said that you would be able to get me face to face with Suki within the hour."
"I can," he said, taking another sip. "Is this what you want?"
I sighed deeply. "I don't want to do it, but it's something that must be done."
"I see," he answered smoothly, taking a sip of his own tea. "I can arrange it if you want?"
"Yeah," I said, feeling a little queasy as the dreaded conversation drew closer. "What time is it anyway?"
"It is four thirty in the morning," he replied.
"Wow, I'm up early." Considering I had only gone to sleep three hours ago I expected to feel a lot more tired.
"Indeed."
I took another sip of the tea and let my thoughts chase themselves around my head. Thoughts of the world and what it meant to be one of the Yang. To be an equal to the Avatar and a savior of the world. "Piando-sensei?"
"Yes, Sokka?"
"I've been thinking," I said, but I was unsure how to continue.
"Thinking is almost always a good thing," Piando replied. "I assume you have something you wish to discuss with me?"
"A couple of things really," I admitted into the swirling tea.
"Sokka, not only am I your advisor, teacher and one of your people. I would like you to think I am your friend; meaning that I am well qualified to help you though anything you wish to share with me."
I nodded, looking back up at him. "Thanks," I said. "It's just that I'm supposed to be this great being; someone who everyone is going to look to to lead or do what's right."
"But?" he prompted.
"But, I can't help but feel like – like ... I'm not doing enough," I said, my voice straining. "Look at me right now. I'm sitting in a Pai Sho parlor sipping tea thinking about how I'm supposed to deal with the women in my life. The entire world is being slowly destroyed by the Fire-Nation, who is being controlled by some brain eating psycho calling himself 'The Master' and his band of merry Jenkotsu, and I'm thinking about bloody girls!" The anger finally had found an outlet and was rushing out. People were staring at me now, but I didn't care. I leaned forward, slamming my hands onto the table, not even realizing when I had stood up.
"What the hell kind of leader am I? Not a bloody good one, that's for damned sure!" I wanted to say more, let more of what I was feeling out, but I couldn't put any of it into words. My mind was so jumbled with all of these memories and glyphs and other spirit shaper crap.
"I can't even think, I've got so much jammed into my head!" I shouted, jabbing the side of my head with a tense finger. "Right now I can explain to you what the Third Nova Gel-Hassad division were supposed to be doing on the battle field the morning of the Last Battle. You want to know how the armorers made the I-09 incestoid battle armor and endo-chassis? I have no fucking idea what the hell they are but I could probably draw you up a schematic!"
"Oh, and do you want to know the greatest thing?" I laughed almost maniacally. "What the hell is this supposed to be?" I shoved my arm out in from of me. My wrist tingled telling me it was working and then right before our eyes my hand seemed to slip into the world, bending away, disappearing into nothing.
"Yeah, what the hell is this! Do you know? 'Cause I sure as hell don't. Whatever it is I did it to my whole body when I was fighting Yasuragi and somehow I moved over a kilometer and a half instantly. I was playing with it before I came down here. After all the Moon, who just happened to also be the Incarna from before the Great war, mind you, told me I was scaring the crap out of everyone because I was so strong. What is this? I can only do this to my hand so far, but really?"
"And that's another thing." I quickly drew my sword from over my back and held it out. "Mind telling me how my sword eats fire? Hmm? You made it. You should know, shouldn't you? Or you could help me with any one of my other problems. Like why I'm terrified my best friend, the man who's pretty much my brother, isgoing to let out the psycho Avatar and she's going to kill everyone including Toph, Katara and me?"
"Or how about this one? Genzou and Mouretsu, yes that, have each been telling me to either dominate or submit to the Incarna spirit. Now, I got some info from the Archive telling me that if I submit the spirit will consume me and burn my soul and all that other crap. But it felt wrong, like the information was not quite from the Archive. Is it possible to intercept and manipulate the information coming from the Archive?"
"But that's not important, what is important is that I have the concept of the Future and the spirit of a dead Incarna who helped to destroy one of the continents each telling me to do something different, and if I side with the other guy the world will die. But it's all right because I'm here sitting with you drinking tea thinking about how I'm supposed to tell Suki I can't be with her and tell Toph that I really care about her!"
I stood there for a long moment, trembling with suppressed rage and who knows what the hell else. My eyes stung with tears of emotion that I did not understand and I was having a hard time breathing. I closed my eyes, blocking out the world for a few seconds while I tried to get some sort of control over myself. My heart beat hard in my chest, feeling very cold and large for a moment.
When I finally came back to myself and the frustration boiled itself down a little bit I realized what I was doing, and where I was doing it. I looked over the rest of the parlor, at all of the people now staring at me. And I realized what I had just been shouting.
"Oh, shit. That was stupid."
"Don't fret Sokka," Piando said kindly, unworried. "There is a great many things that you must be told about the White Lotus organization. But that is for another time; right now just know that you are among comrades and although we may be a little surprised by some of what you just said, we would never betray your confidence."
"I – uh," I mumbled, as I took in all of the faces turned to me. One by one they acknowledged me either with a raised glass or a nod and returned to their games and tea.
"Your tea is getting cold," Piando-sensei said, taking a sip of his own. "Please sit down."
"But," I said weakly, "I was yelling things ... about-"
"Sokka," said Piando, pushing my teacup a little closer. "You are among friends and allies. None of us will utter even a whisper of anything you just said. You're safe. Now, a very jolly general once told me that jasmine calms the nerves. Why don't you have a little?"
Still eying the rest of the people in the room, I picked up the chair that I had knocked over and very slowly lowered myself into the seat. The scraping of china on wood drew my attention back to the cup before me and I gave in and took it, letting the warm tea sooth my nerves.
The clock on the wall ticked along happily with the clicking of Pai Sho tiles until my cup was empty and one of the waiters brought me another one. "Feeling better?" asked Piando when I took the fresh cup.
"Yeah," I said, shame burning on my cheeks.
"Don't worry over much about it Sokka," he said. "Being the Incarna, even a scion is a very difficult thing; succumbing to the pressure only means that you are human."
"I suppose," I mumbled into the fresh cup.
"No, Sokka," Piando said, his voice strong and deep. "No, not suppose. Accept, or do not. There is no middle road."
I crawled up out of my tea cup and let a weak smile slide onto my face. "Then, I guess ... not."
"Honestly is the first step to anything. Now, let's look back on some of what you just said."
"I was ... angry," I admitted. "I shouldn't have taken that out on you. I'm sorry."
"It's a good thing that you are speaking in definites, but you are wrong. I said I would like to consider myself both your friend and teacher, and as both of those things I am well equipped to help you when your burdens become too much for you to bear."
"I'm fine. You don't need to help."
"Spoken as a one of the Yang, or Yin for that matter," Piando said with a little bit of a smile done only with the eyes that most Gel-Hassad favored. "Always trying to convince everyone around them that they are perfectly fine and not sharing the weight even as it's crushing them."
"No," I started. "I'm fine, really. I just-"
"Sokka, do you know what I discovered 'fine' means?"
I frowned. "I don't think so."
"Frantic, insecure, neurotic and emotional."
"An acronym?" I asked, chuckling.
"Indeed," he answered. "A rather clever one too I think."
"Makes sense, I suppose." Piando looked pointedly at me and a grinned back. "Alright it does make sense, there. Although isn't neurosis a mental disorder? The others are things that come and go. Neurosis is an illness.
"I'm still working on it."
"Hmm."
"Let's move on, shall we? Firstly your biggest issue right now seems to be that you believe yourself an incompetent leader, someone who is not doing enough." I nodded my agreement. "Sokka, you have a great many responsibilities but you are looking at it all wrong."
"But, there has to be something more-"
"What you will learn is that there is always more you think you should have done; or differently, or better. Believe me when I say that there will always be some small thing that eats at you, that you think you could have handled better. But nobody is perfect, not even an Incarna at the height of its power."
Piando took a sip of his tea, and put it back down on its coaster. He folded his hands before him and seemed to be mulling something over. "Sokka, you may not believe that you are doing enough, but in all reality you probably won't ever be doing enough. It's just the kind of person you are. But you must understand that you can only do so much, that no one is infallible or perfect. That even the Yin and Yang are still just people."
"I understand that," I sighed. "I just feel like I should be doing something for the world. Like at the very least I should be planning how to free Ba Sing Se from the Fire-Nation if not out there fighting right now."
"Sokka, that kind of thinking will only get you killed, or at the very least break your mind. You have the soul of a true hero, and that is commendable. But if you think you can hold the entire world on your shoulders you will only harm yourself as well as everyone you're trying to protect."
"I'm not ... too sure I understand."
"My point is that even if you become akin to a living god in terms of power, there will still be only so much you can do. No matter how powerful or strong you are there will always be some people that you cannot save, or thing you cannot do. Trying to be everywhere at once, and trying to be everything everyone wants you to be will only lead to self-destruction."
I thought on his words for a moment, staring into the swirling liquid of my tea. "I understand your logic, but I don't think I believe it."
"Time unties even the most knotted of minds," he said sagely. "I am sure you will gain peace of mind soon if you just talk about these things more." I smiled sadly, unable to shake some of the feelings. "I don't think me sitting here giving you one adage after another will help anything. But I have experience in being depended on, and although it isn't near in term with being the Incarna I'd like to believe I have enough experience to always have an open ear."
"Thank you," I said softly, feeling a little better. "I'll remember that."
"Is that a promise? No more containing everything?"
"Yes," I replied smiling, "it's a promise."
"Good," he said, with a cleansing sigh. "Now, I'm afraid I cannot help or even understand several of the things that you say plague you. But I can help you better understand a few of them. Starting with- yes, I know how your sword consumes fire."
"Really?" I asked, amazed. I had just been venting. I never suspected he actually knew what was up with the fire-eating.
"Yes, like you said; I made it, I should know."
"Alright," I said slowly. I was actually bristling to know how it had done that.
"The steel it is made of is very special."
"I'd say, we got it from a meteor."
"Indeed," chuckled Piando, "but where did the meteor come from?"
"Uh, the sky?" I offered, not really understanding the question. "It set fire to a whole bunch of dry grass when it hit."
"Sokka," he asked, leaning forward slightly. "I know you have made contact with the Archive and most likely it deposited a vast amount of information into your head. In all of this information do you have anything pertaining to the history of the black steel?"
"The Hassad Yavim?" I asked slowly as images and memories flashed before my mind's eye.
"Yes," he said smiling. "You may know that the black steel was one of the weapons that Mouretsu used to overpower the much stronger benders. Now, do you remember where all of the ore was kept?"
"The city in the stars," I answered immediately. "We kept it all up there after Yegoth fell to keep it from falling into the wrong hands. We were afraid of provoking a second great war."
"Yes, many of my ancestors-"
"Wait," I said quickly coming to a realization. "Do you mean that thing that contacted me when I went all frosty and asked me if I'd like to it announce my presence to the world?"
Piando-sensei's eye brows rose, which was the Gel-Hassad version of his jaw hitting the floor. "A-announce?"
I put on my best cheshire grin. "Yup, it seems humans can hold a lot more power than everyone else thinks."
"Intriguing," he said, considering me carefully.
I just grinned right back, holding the stalemate for a few more seconds. "Anyway," I prompted.
"Ah, yes," he said, seeming to regain himself. "Yes, that's what I meant. And the city functions as a lot more them simply an announcing system."
"I got that from us storing all of the black steel there."
"Saving the history of the city for another time," said Piando. "I had a strange feeling for several days before you arrived on my door step. I couldn't pin it down but it was like the most important moment of my life was approaching."
"So, you knew who I was as soon as you found me?" I asked.
"No, but I had my suspicions. Especially after the city made a report in the Archive that it had delivered nearly two tons of the Hassad Yavim to the Incarna upon request."
"Request?" I asked dumbfounded. "I didn't ask for it. The damn meteor just fell from the sky all burny and whatnot."
"Oh?" he asked, taking another sip of his tea. "What were you thinking and feeling beforehand?"
"I was," I began, "I was thinking that I was not strong enough, that I was dead weight. I wanted power, something that I could use to help Aang, Toph, and Katara with. They all have these amazing powers and all I could do was chuck a boomerang around. I felt inferior."
Piando put his teacup back down with another eye smile. "Wait," I said aghast. "You mean that city thing picked up on my feelings and threw boulder of the black steel at me?"
"It would appear so."
"But how is it reading my mind?"
"The same way that you should have mental access to the Archive even though you have never been there. The rest of the People must stand before the Archive to retrieve anything. You need only access you Incarna abilities. The Archive is, at its foundation, the mind of the Incarna. Just as much as you own brain or the spirit are."
I sat there, not really sure what to think anymore. All this stuff has been coming at me so fast I hadn't really had time to fully absorb any information before the next thing hit me. But now, I finally began to feel like I was something impossible, something beyond any other human.
Feelings of inadequacy.
'Oh, don't be sad little demi-god,' says the City.
-plop-
'Hey a black rock!' says me.
I rested my head on the table for a minute until things decided to stop feeling so strange.
"Sokka, are you feeling unwell?"
"Yes," I replied. "But, keep going."
"Alright," he answered to the top of my head. "When you brought me the Hassad Yavim I knew you were someone very special and I forged it into the sword you now have. The steel had the potential, but unless I conditioned it properly it would not be able to do the things you speak of. So in other words, it was I who caused your sword to be able to 'eat fire'; an ability you activated.
"Sweet," I grumbled into the table. "Now that I have a few answers could you arrange my meeting with Suki? I'm sure I can screw that up before breakfast if we work fast."
"Don't worry Sokka," said Piando as he got up, patting my arm as he did. "Things always find a way to seem worse than they are; just give it time."
-
I jerked awake an hour or so later. I yawned deeply and looked around. I was still in the Lotus Garden- the clicks of tiles and the chattering of a few dozen conversations washed over me. I had been having the strangest dream. It was full of strawberries and people in the most peculiar robes. I chuckled a little as I picked up my long cold tea. It wasn't too bad cold either.
I frowned- something was different. I was forgetting something important. I could almost feel it scratching at the back of my mind. What was it? I stared hard into the bottom of my tea cup, demanding answers from the dregs.
That was it!
My face fell in surprise. It couldn't be. It was just a dream; right? But wasn't my meeting with Suki and Yue also just a dream?
I reached forward very slowly, the teacup still clutched tightly in my hand. I felt the familiar tingling and then my hand shifted to wherever it was that it went when it wasn't there anymore. That felt the same, but now I didn't feel that sudden stop when I got to my wrist. My forearm started to disappear also!
I jerked my hand back, a little frightened by what I had just done. Great; just freaking great. I finally start getting a few answers and crap like this starts happening again. Sometimes I really hate the world.
"Ah, you're awake," said a voice behind me. I turned and looked up into Piando-sensei's face. "Since you were up so early I thought it would be fine to let you rest up a bit. It's been about an hour. The sun should start coming up just about the time we arrive, assuming that you still wish to speak to Suki."
"Yeah," I said, my voice still a little groggy. "How are we getting there?"
"We're going to be walking."
That stopped me for a moment. "Wait, she's within walking distance?"
"Indeed," he replied smiling. "It will be a ten minute walk at a leisurely pace. We can set out as soon as you like. Your companions will be informed of your side journey and given a pleasant breakfast."
"So I jumped the great wall; a wall that encompasses the largest city in the world. Not to mention dozens of little towns, cities in any other environment; and I drop right in the middle of everyone that effects me?"
"It would seem so," Piando said gently. I could have answered in a great many ways, but I didn't; it just didn't seem worth the effort.
"Alright," I groaned, getting up. "Although just once I'd like to have something ordinary happen, just to feel nostalgic."
Piando chuckled as we crossed the parlor and stepped out into the street, lit by moonlight and spark rock lamps. "I can understand the feeling."
-
Interlude: Suki
Part 1
Footsteps echoed down the long hallway as Suki made her way to the mess hall. She had been woken up by the most ... disturbing? Strange? Depressing? It seemed to be a dream that was all of these and more. She yawned deeply, careful to keep the shawl around her hair. She had stayed the night at the hotel, seeing as she was seeing to her 'sick mother'. It was an easy excuse that pardoned all of her absences from the Fire-Nation palace when she was reporting in here. They had even gone so far as to enlist the help of Gigi, the kindly old lady that helped with the filing in the basement, to play the role of the sick old lady who loved candy the few times they had to throw off suspicion.
Suki pushed open the royal blue double doors and walked into the quiet room. She had woken up hours ago and had spent the time trying to get back to sleep. But it seemed that sleep eluded her – she was just too wound up from the surreal dream. Being careful to maintain a slight limp, she made her way over to the buffet line. It was normally not worth the effort to make enough food to fill all of the aluminum trays except for supper, as most everyone worked as hard as possible and only came for food when they had to. So the rest of the day the few chefs worked to order.
Although it was early – five o'clock in the morning according to the clock on the wall- there was a hand full of people at the tables and the two chefs behind the counter seemed to be preparing for the breakfast rush that usually started about six.
"Hello miss," said the sleepy man in the chef's hat as she walked up. He had black bags under his eyes and seemed like he just wanted to get to sleep. He must have been the overnight guy. "What can I get for you?"
"Just a bowl of hot cereal and a glass of orange juice," she said, making sure to add a few years and a slight rasp to her voice.
"I'm sorry we're out of orange, but we do have tea and beer left."
"Just the tea then," she answered. It seemed like they were beginning to run out of supplies again. Must be almost time for Arc to make another food raid. They would have loved to pay for the food, but when an underground resistance movement was trying to stay secret it was best not to draw attention to themselves by buying enough food to feed a small army in the bazaar.
Footsteps came up behind her and she turned slowly, making sure to make it seem like regular curiosity. Heh, speaking of the metal head. Arc gave her his usual twisted grin which she returned just slightly. "Hello, miss," he said politely.
"Good morning sonny," she responded, staying inside her 'old woman' role. She liked the guy fine enough now, but he had taken some getting used to. At first he seemed really closed off and even colder than Red May – if that was even humanly possible. Sure, he seemed to have always meant well enough but there were always just so many things about him that seemed just a touch off. And she didn't just mean the scars, although they had taken some getting used to as well. It was just that he always seemed so defensive.
The first few weeks she had known him he had been friendly and talkative, but it always felt just a little forced, and he always seemed to be reading every move of those around him. It wasn't something you could point at and shout 'See!', but it was definitely there. It was almost as if he didn't trust anyone; like he was just waiting for them to attack. He never jumped or seemed skittish, but you got the feeling of nervousness whenever you came close to him. Finally he had seemed to settle down and had begun to make a few friends such as Smellerbee – she never understood why that girl called herself that – and Longshot – another really strange name.
Suki took her tray when it was passed to her. Nobody paid for the food they took from the kitchens. They were all part of the resistance; fighting in one way or another, so it seemed ludicrous to people to pay for the food. But Kami help the man who threw out even a mouthful. She slowly ambled along, limping her way through the maze of long tables to one that was backed against the wall. It was a little hard to eat 'in character,' so she needed a little warning if somebody decided to sit next to her.
She was half finished with her hot cereal, some cream of wheat stuff that tasted horrid, when a tray was set down across from her. She started slightly, forgetting where she was – if anyone with hostile intentions would have made it all the way to the mess hall it sure as hell wouldn't be quiet.
"Mind if I sit here?" asked Arc as he remained standing, giving her the chance to refuse.
"Yeah, sure," she said, waving him onto the bench. He sat and started into his bran muffin, white rice and cucumber sandwich. Suki tried and failed to suppress and giggle. "Mister four eggs, half a pig's worth of bacon and a mountain of wheat toast is eating a cucumber sandwich?"
He smirked around a bite of said sandwich. "Yes, I have to get the men together for a food run before lunch. There is enough for breakfast for everyone; they will just be interesting."
"You don't say?" she asked in a mocking tone of voice.
"Yes, I do say."
"Hmm."
"Yes."
"Indeed."
"Rightly so," he finished with a lopsided grin, his blue eye twinkling in the lights. He chuckled as he went back to his food, his scars pulling tight as he opened his mouth. Suki just sat there for a second before she returned to her own cooling food. They ate in silence for a short time before it was broken again.
"There is a rumor going around that we got another militant division?" Suki asked, making conversation.
"Yeah," Arckon replied. "I am going to meet with their leaders this morning to see how we can work them into the resistance."
"Who are they? Or is it too secret?" Suki asked, knowing she only had a level eight clearance and Arc was one of only four who had a level nine; Smellerbee, Longshot, Arc and the mysterious Iron Titan. Level ten was Red May's eyes only, no arguments.
"Hmm," he muttered, seeming to try to gauge whether or not Suki had access, while she pondered why heneeded to think about it. At least until she remembered that not many people were comfortable being near him, let alone asking him for privileged information; she was probably the first to ask him on this.
"The Green Dagger Special Forces," he finally said, before turning back to his food. Suki just sat there for a long moment, the ticking of the clock and the subtle sounds of Arc eating the only things within earshot, until...
"The Green Daggers?" she hissed as loud as she dared. Everyone knew who the Green Daggers were, either as horrifying enemies or allies, depending on who held sway over the city. She had expected some generic name followed by a string of numbers that would mean nothing other then moving the conversation along. Hell, she understood the need for the secrecy, as they no doubt still had a few moles; they couldn't have the information in the wrong fiery hands.
"Yes," he said in an offhanded voice, not even looking up.
"Why are you telling me?" she said quietly, leaning close. "I was looking for small talk and you tell me the name of our newest secret weapon? What if I get caught? I could tell them everything!"
"You would not."
"What if Azula got me?"
"She would not ask the right questions," he said, still not really paying attention.
"How do you know?"
"Because you are strong; you would never tell them who you were really reporting back to so Azula would never take a personal interest in you, thus the secret is safe in you even in the unlikely event that you are captured." Suki was a little surprised by this answer; it seemed thought out and a little flattering, in a strange sort of way. But hey, look at who she was talking to.
"Plus, I trust you." That one caught her completely off guard. This guy trusted very few people, even she knew that. So far the only two she could even suspect held his trust were Smellerbee and Longshot. There was no doubt in her mind that he didn't trust Red May at all. But now he was telling her that he trusted her? Now she was really confused.
"I didn't think you really trusted anybody," she said doubtfully.
"Hmm," he replied, considering her. "I do trust, I am just careful about it."
"Alright, say I buy that," she said, "Why me, though?"
"You have never told me anything but the truth, and you have only lied to others within the resistance when it was under express orders from myself or Red May. Honesty and loyalty are what trust is, and you have both of these, so you also have my trust."
Her breakfast forgotten, Suki thought this over. It was true that she only lied when outside the resistance, but was that all that it took to gain his trust? It seemed too ... simple. It was almost innocent.
"How do you know that I don't lie to you?" she asked. It wasn't asked deceptively as some might, implying that she did in fact lie to him, but out of curiosity.
"Nobody can lie to me," he said, speaking in a factual manner while looking up to meet her eyes. Some might find his broken gaze disturbing, but she found it friendly, as he intended.
"Everybody lies sometimes, and most will do more than that," she said.
"That is true," Arc answered. "But I can always tell."
"How?"
Arckon smiled. "Trade secret."
"Oh, tell me," Suki begged, using her best 'cute face'. But although she could have sworn he blushed slightly, he shook his head.
"I cannot, I promised never to tell anyone. Besides, it is impossible for me to teach it to you."
Suki tried to pout – using the same cute face – before she got over it. "Can Red May lie to you?"
"No," Arc answered before his face got a little sour. "Although she can lie using truths just as easily."
Suki looked at him with a critical eye, thinking over it all. "I don't think I believe you."
"Oh?" he asked.
"Nope," she answered. "What if you only think that you know when people are lying to you. It's a lie, so no one is going to correct you if you don't call them on it."
"I see," he said slowly considering her. "Alright, a test then. Use all of your skills, pretend that you are talking to Azula herself and tell me a few obscure facts about yourself; one of them false."
"Okay," she said, gleeful to pull one over on the General. "My favorite colour when I was young was purple, and now I can't stand it. I have never tasted whiskey but I like Icewine. The toenail on my left big toe grows faster than the others. I never had a real imaginary friend but I pretended I did for a few months when I was six. I think pineapples look freaky and I tried to learn how to use the bow a few years ago but couldn't."
"So, do you like whiskey?" he asked not missing a beat. Suki's jaw dropped. She had really tried to fool him. She was the spy; she lied constantly. Her life depended on it! And Mister tall, dark and grim picked out the lie right away.
"How did you do that?" she asked mortified, "could anyone in the Fire-Nation be able to do it too? I am so dead if they can."
"Do not worry," he reassured her, actually patting her hand. "No fire tosser could possibly learn it."
"Well that's good."
"Quite."
"Oh, don't start again," she complained. "Are you going to tell me how you did it?"
"I promised never to tell anyone," Arc said not unkindly. "Kagome?"
"What?" asked Suki, totally confused. What the hell?
"No," said Smellerbee as she sat down beside Arc. She had her own tray with some kind of green soup and a cinnamon roll. "Arc you have really got to get some more food, this is just a little bit gross."
"He called it 'interesting,'" Suki said, still a little thrown off by Smellerbee's sudden appearance. Suki was also mentally taking it out on herself for not noticing the girl's approach. Suki hadn't been in character when she had walked up; if it had been anyone else it could have spelled big trouble. She frowned at Arckon. The guy had never been snuck up on, at least not that she had ever seen.
"Yeah, interesting," grumbled Smellerbee before she ripped off a piece of the cinnamon bun and dipped it into the green soup. For a while they all simply sat and ate, making light conversation. Well, they spoke about upcoming battles and how best to destabilize the Fire-Nation occupation, but it was light conversation in that no more life-threatening revelations were thrown out there. Suki was very grateful, it was hard enough already to not let anything slip, to be conscious of everything she said without adding more to the mix. By the time the 'interesting' food was gone, Suki was just thinking she should start to get going as the clock on the wall said it was getting onto five thirty.
Her eyes were just starting to wander over to the double doors across the room when someone pushed them open. The beginning of the breakfast rush. She saw a couple people milling about just outside the room. She could make out the form of Kira, one of the head tacticians. Speaking to him was a man, just getting on in age who she recognized easily, but she seemed to be having trouble remembering his name. Arashi? Hyashi? Haiyahi? Yes, that was it. One of the grandmasters of the White Lotus organization. And beside him, facing the other way ... was...
Suki felt her heart constrict. She knew that back, that wolftail. The way he held himself and the way he moved were so familiar even if the dress and the sword were different. She was still unable to move as he turned and their eyes locked. For a single terrified moment she remembered her dream. His words and the promise to find her bubbled up from inside her, but she shoved them away. It was impossible, just a huge coincidence; a huge happy coincidence.
He smiled gently at her before turning back to Haiyahi. They talked for a moment before Sokka turned to Kira and gave him a short polite bow. And then he turned and walked through the doors, toward her. Suki could feel her heart pounding. How could he possibly he here? The last time she had seen him was just before the fall of the city.
He was about half way across the room, just starting to navigate his way through the tables when he seemed to falter. Suki was worried about him for a second. Was he hurt? But he just straightened up and continued on without a word. Only Suki could have sworn there was something strange in his eyes. It had looked like the black irises of his eyes had been filled with dozens of white specks, if only for a moment.
Sokka stopped just behind Arc and Smellerbee and gave a goofy little wave. "Hey."
"Hi," Suki said, still a little lightheaded.
"I am assuming you know him?" Arckon asked, not even turning around.
"Yes," Suki said at once, unable to keep a bit of a blush from her face.
"He's cute," said Smellerbee.
"Don't forget the unparalleled smart-making brain and modesty," Sokka smirked.
"A joker?" said Arc turning just slightly to see him. "I see."
"Suki, can we talk?" Sokka asked, the unsaid 'alone' apparent to everyone.
"Sure," she said. Then, careful to avoid any of the 'panic phrases' that would let the others at the table know that she was in trouble, "It's fine."
"I need to get ready for my meeting," Arc said before getting up and wandering toward the door.
"I guess I should go untie Longshot so he can get some breakfast," Smellerbee said casually, getting up and following.
"W-what did she say?" gaped Sokka, watching the strange girl leave. Suki just shrugged, as she was equally surprised by that.
"So, you wanted to talk?" she said, trying to move everything along.
"Yeah," muttered Sokka, still watching Arckon as he left. Once the doors close and the one armed man was gone from sight he sat down across from Suki. "Yes, there are a few things we need to talk about."
"Oh?" she asked, a prickly feeling running up her back.
"Yeah, uh," he stumbled. He didn't think it would be this hard to start a conversation with her.
"Are you okay?" Suki asked, a concerned edge creeping into her voice.
"Yes, I'm just not sure how to start."
"You can talk to me about anything, Sokka. You know that," she said, the little feeling getting stronger.
"I know, it's just really difficult right now," he admitted.
"Well, let's start off with something simple and see where it goes? Like how did you get here? I think I saw you with one of the White Lotus grandmasters, what was with that?"
"Well," he said, latching onto the new subject, "I got into the city with the rest of my little group and we bumped into Haiyahi last night and he offered to set us up for as long as we were in the city."
"A grandmaster of the White Lotus decided to put you up just like that?"
"Sort of," he answered. Leaning to the side slightly he reached into a pocket and pulled out a small white tile. "I'm sorry I can't tell you a whole lot about the why, but the short is that apparently when I was given this tile by a very important grandmaster I was initiated into the organization as a 'special case.'
"Really?" Suki asked, eyes on the tile in his hands.
"Yup," he said with a wide grin, "I even get free tea in the tea house."
"That's not what I meant," she laughed.
"I know, but it's true. Some of their tea is really good."
"Sokka," she said, drawing out his name, "be serious for once."
"I'm trying," he said honestly, his smile suddenly becoming strained, "but I'm very nervous."
"Why, what's wrong?" Suki asked. "Do you need help with something?"
"No, it's not like that."
"Then what is it?"
"It's," he started, but seemed unable to put his thoughts into words.
"Sokka, just say it," she said, somewhere between irked and concerned.
Sokka reached across the table and took one of her hands in his own, causing her heart to flutter. Then he looked up into her eyes with all the honesty he could mange and tried to find the words. "I think ... y-you need to try to find someone who can care for you properly."
Suki stopped, her mind rolling back, unsure of what it just hear. What had he said? It didn't make sense. "Sokka, what do you mean?
"I can't be what you need me to be," he said. His face was pulled taunt as he tried to make her understand. He was a smart man, but he was struggling with every word, trying to tell her without hurting her.
"What – no, I care about you, and I can't think of anyone better," Suki said. "Is this some kind of guilt over Aang's death? It wasn't your fault, denying yourself everything isn't going to help."
"No, it's not," he said, still fighting himself. "Aang survived."
"What?" she asked, surprised. "But-"
"Suki, he survived and this isn't guilt. What you need me to be is something I cannot be, no matter how much I try."
Suki was losing track of what was going on. Sokka was throwing one blow after another. The Avatar was alive? What did he mean 'can't be what she needs him to be'? Aang didn't die? And why did he seem so pained to be saying all of this? "Sokka, I don't understand."
Sokka leaned back slightly on the bench, still holding her hand comfortingly. "I don't think I understand most of this myself, and I'm not to sure at all what I will be – even tomorrow, but it's something that you could never find peace with."
"No," she said, gripping his hand a little better. "I care about you more than pretty much anything else. Whatever you think you are becoming, I can help you with it. This is a war, Sokka; everyone is changing, and you're not the first to fear it."
"This – this is something a lot bigger than that," he said.
"That what everyone thinks, but you just have to hold on. Let me help you."
Sokka saw that he was going to have to explain this a little better, but he couldn't tell her everything. His mind was full of memories of how this could go badly. He was to be the Incarna, the Yang to the Avatar. When you played on levels like that the easiest place for an enemy to attack you was through people who cared about you, who knew you. He would have to keep her as much in the dark as he could to protect her. But he knew he was going to have to tell her something if she was to be able to move on.
"Could you ever see yourself with someone like Aang?" he asked.
"What?" she said, her face pulled a look that told him he should have thought that one through a little more.
"I didn't mean that, I mean with the constant fights. He's the Avatar, he's going to be keeping the peace for the rest of his life. Hell, there have been twenty three Avatar's who died in in the last forty thousand years."
Her brow drew down when he said that. "How do you know that?"
Sokka swallowed hard. He damned all of the information floating around in his head. Couldn't it all just stop or go away or hibernate for a while? Too many more slips and this could all go feet to the sky. "Just a guess," he bluffed, hoping she bought it. "What I mean is could you see yourself with me if I had to fight in wars forever? Even if we stopped the Fire-Nation tomorrow I would always have to fight, always have to keep the peace – forcibly if needed."
"Sokka, you're not Aang, you never will be," she said, still looking like she didn't quite understand. "I know why you're thinking like this. You're loyal and he's like a brother to you. And if what I saw between Katara and him is still burning it could be a lot more literally soon." Sokka suppressed a shudder at that. "But you won't have to fight forever. I know and I accept that sometimes you will go off with him on some idiotic plan; I came to terms with that a long time ago."
"No, Suki. It's more complicated than that."
"How?" she challenged.
"I don't know how to say it," he said, his voice full of tension.
"Then just say it."
"I – I'm – Ugh!" he growled. Why was this so hard? He was supposed to be smart! He was supposed to have all of the ideas and plans. It was all up there in his head; all and then some. He could plot a thousand ways to steal the Fire-Lords underwear but he couldn't even talk about this stuff to Suki.
Suddenly Suki's hand stiffened in his, her fingers that had once held his hand with affection suddenly turning ridged. He looked up at her, wondering what had happened, only to meet with a stricken look. "Suki, what's the matter?"
"There's another woman, isn't there?" she asked in a small voice. His heart stopped for a moment and his thoughts jumped to Toph unconsciously, and whatever supernatural sense women sometimes have clicked inside Suki and she could see the answer on his face.
"Suki, wait," he pleaded. But she pulled her hand back, his fingers closing on nothing but cold air as she stood up. She didn't move any further away then that; she just stood there, her watery eyes holding his like feathered steel. "Tell me it isn't true."
"No, please Suki; listen to me."
"Sokka," she said softly; she didn't yell, but her voice stilled him as if she had. "Tell me it isn't true." But he couldn't lie to her- he had come here to tell her the truth. A few tears started to fall from her eyes as the silence between them howled horridly inside their ears. Finally, unable to bare the pain of looking into his eyes – eyes that had once held the world for her – she turned and fled to the doors, desperate to get away.
Sokka jumped to his feet and tried to catch her as she past, to attempt to show her the truth. But she slipped through his fingers and walked hard to the door, the floor beneath her dampening with every tear-jarring step.
Sokka, using all the power of his mind, and unconsciously tapping into the Archive, ran through every thought he might have for the next three years in the space of a single millisecond. If he let her run now, he could break her forever. She had told him he was everything to her and, in another life she might have been the same to him. But here and now he had to break their bonds, but like fucking hell was he going to break with them. She was one of the people important in his life and he would protect her just as fiercely as any other. But what could he say to her? What could he say? He needed some way to tell her ... what?
Deep within himself, buried under all of the memories of bloodshed and war there lay a collection of peace. Recollections of walks by the light of a setting sun sat along with memories of loving someone and of the lessons that one learns. If you care about someone, you trust them to stand on their own. It's fine to want to protect them; it's also fine to act on that want. But you must let them stand on their own. You have to give them room to learn and grow without being suffocating, to let them make their own mistakes while standing just close enough to support them when they need it. He may not be able to love her like she wants him to, but she would always be important to him.
"When I walked into the dojo you were going though the seventh fighting sequence, the razor butterfly I think you called it. There were other girls in the room, most of them fully trained like you, but there was also another. She wore a tiny dress that looked lot like yours and she tried so hard to copy your movements." Suki turned to stone with her hand on the door, a single step from running away from him and everything he was forever. Sokka still stood exactly where he had risen, speaking in a normal tone that carried even as the streams of people walked into the hall around Suki, looking for their morning meals.
"She was only about three but she twirled her little paper fan with a smile on her face. She moved with your grace on small legs. She did better than on my first time trying to learn the fighting fan style. She'd fall and get right back up, over and over because she was dancing like her mother. She'd smile your smile and laugh my laugh and then you noticed me standing in the doorway."
Suki was breathing shallowly, afraid she might lose his words in her own gasps of surprise. Her hand remained raised, shaking slightly even as the door opened and closed beneath her fingers. A few people started to notice her standing there and asked her if she was alright, but she didn't hear them. She turned around slowly, her eyes still damp.
"You came to me, with Nani right behind you. She grabbed my legs and you picked her up. I was surprised to see you and you knew it, but we just talked for a little while. You said that I had been down at the docks with my fishing crew and Nani asked if we were still going for lunch."
Suki walked back to him slowly, like an animal ready to bolt at any sign of sudden movement. Sokka smiled sadly at her, seeming much older than the last time she had seen him. He met her in the middle of the room as people began to fill the tables, the bubble of conversation snatching the words from their mouths. Suki wanted to ask him how he could know this, but her mind seemed unable to even grasp the question.
"Suki, I'm – different. I'm not just some goofy guy anymore, I don't think I ever could have been," Sokka said quietly to her. "I was never playing a game, and I never lied to you, but I can't be what you need me to be."
"But," Suki started, still trying to find words.
"Suki, I walked into your dreams. I know it's hard to understand, but it really happened. You don't want to fight this war forever, but that's what I'm going to have to do. I'm a warrior Suki, and I'm going to be fighting for the rest of my life because I was chosen for something great. Anyone I spend my life with will also have to deal with combat for the rest of their lives, either just understanding it and being with me when the dust settles, or standing next to me in those fights. You don't want that; you could never be happy with that."
Suki was trying to understand what he was talking about, but it was hard. Her mind kept telling her what he was saying was impossible, but then his words came back and she felt a shiver as she realized he had actually been inside her dream. Sokka took her hands gently into his own and lead her back to the table. He guided her into the seat and let her think about what he said for a while before he spoke again.
"Suki, are you okay?" he asked softly.
"I'm," she said in barely a whisper before her voice gained a little more strength. "I'm having trouble – understanding what you're talking about. What do you mean chosen, and how do you know what I dreamed?"
Sokka managed a smile, "You know how I know your dreams. It was really me in there. And – I really am sorry that I can't tell you too much about what's happening to me right now. It's just too dangerous."
She still didn't understand what he meant, but she understood him; if he thought telling her might hurt her he would never tell her. "Alright," she conceded, knowing that she wouldn't get anything else from him right now. The next thing she knew his arms were around her in a comforting, but only friendly, way.
"I'm sorry I have to put you through this. You know you can always come to me for anything, right?"
"Yeah," she mumbled, closing her eyes as she felt her heart warm once more. "I know."
Sokka pulled back, still holding one of her hands in his own, and wiped away a stray tear. "I have to go soon. Aang and the gang need me." Suki nodded, not knowing what words she could say. Her entire world had been given to her, torn down and rebuilt again in a matter of minutes. "Can you do a few things for me?"
"Yeah," she said, meeting his gaze again.
"Be careful around that one armed guy," he said softly, his eyes boring into her.
Suki frowned. "Why? I trust him."
"He-," Sokka started, "It's part of this ... dangerous stuff, so I can't say exactly why. But there is a small sect of people who are helping the Fire-Nation, and he's a part of it."
"No, Sokka," Suki said, feeling a little of the tension flee as they touched on a subject she could get footing on. "Arc is on our side, he's one of the Generals of the Resistance; he would never do anything like that."
Sokka seemed to consider he words for a long moment before answering. "Alright, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt but still, just promise me you will be careful? I know you probably don't want to hear this, but nobody ever expects the double agents. That's their purpose. Just promise me you'll be careful."
"Okay, I promise," she said, understanding where he was coming from, but still pretty sure Arc was loyal.
"I just wish there was more about this stuff I could explain to you, really. It's just that --." Sokka stopped speaking entirely abruptly. Suki met his eyes, but he was looking past her to somewhere entirely different.
"Sokka, are you okay?" she asked.
It was another moment or two before his eyes focused, but when it did he had a small smile on his face. "Well now, that isn't weird in the slightest."
"Sokka?" Suki asked again, slightly worried.
"I'm fine, it's just that all of this stuff in my head finally decided to do something useful," he said, grinning as if he had caught the canary. "The Fire-chuckers are having some festival this afternoon, right?"
"Yes," Suki said slowly, not seeing where he was going.
"Well I just have a strange feeling that you should go, around four this afternoon."
"Why?"
"I dunno," he said gloomily. "I never really get step by step instructions about anything. It's pretty infuriating at times. But just show up, okay? I know I can't tell you anything about what this power of mine is, but if your there you'll see ... uh – something for yourself..." he trailed off, unsure of his own words. "I think?"
"You do know I want to hit you for being so vague," Suki said, a gentle smile on her face.
"At least you warn me," laughed Sokka. "Best I can usually hope for is to see it coming, but Katara is quick."
-
-This chapter has been Beta-approved :)-
Jade Knight - Richard Caine - Kitty
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