The look on Freddie's face was pure rage, mixed with some sadness and bitterness. I wish there was a time machine, so I could take back what I said. This looked to be a very sore subject for him. I shouldn't have asked him because I know what its like to be sensitive about your mom.
"Look you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. Trust me I know what its like," I tried to sound as comforting to him as possible. But I'm new to this whole comforting thing.
"Before I lived here, In Seattle, I lived in Nebraska. I, surprisingly, had some friends and my family was happy. I grew up in a happy and loving home, though you probably couldn't tell now. My mom and I always spent time together. I rarely saw my dad because he was always working and I didn't really complain because he was the stricter parent. Somehow he found a way to spend time with me on the weekends and it was actually fun. But I guess somewhere along the line people change, whether you want them to or not."
I moved from my spot on the grass and sat right across from Freddie, He seemed like he needed someone right now.
"When I was about six years old, my grandpa died, and that's when everything changed. He and my dad were extremely close, even though my grandpa was hard on him. Something inside my dad snapped. My dad went from strict to abusive, and not just to me. I can remember he and my mom yelling for hours at a time. And the fights always ended the same way, with him hitting my mom. I guess she had finally gotten to him, because when I was seven, he left, but his damage was already done," his eyes started to water, but no tears had fallen.
"After my dad left, I thought things would get better for my mom and I, but I was wrong. She was a stay at home mom, so we didn't have any source of income, there were times when we barley had enough food to eat. But then things changed when my mom met Rodger. Rodger had money and was able to provide for us. We ended up moving in with him a few months later. I guess my mom was happy with Rodger, but I didn't want another dad."
"I can't blame you," I added.
"Rodger and my mom really hit it off. But I just couldn't get along with him. I started acting out in school, talking back to my mom and Rodger. By the time I was fourteen they had gotten married and had a kid. It was a baby girl, Emma Marie Taylor. After Emma was born, they seemed like they had their own family and didn't need me. I felt so unwanted and unloved. I couldn't take it anymore, my grades dropped, I skipped school and they yelling between the three of us worsened," then the tears fell.
Pulled Freddie into a hug, and rubbed his back. I just let him get it all out. It seemed like it had been a while since he had really talked about it. He gratefully returned my hug. We stayed in that position for a few minutes, before Freddie recovered and went back to his story.
"My mom had always threatened to send me off to my dad's, but I just assumed that she was bluffing. She had finally had enough of me, when I ran away for three days and came back stoned. That was the last time I had ever done drugs. I had never done drugs before then, but I had some friends who did. My mom saw me and went ballistic; she packed my bags and shipped me off here. She didn't want me anymore. I know I was a pain, but if she really loved me, she would have worked with me. None of my parents wanted to me. Do you know how that feels, to be unwanted," he asked with a pained expression on his face.
"I want you," I whispered.
"What," he asked.
"I want you," I said with more confidence.
"I want to be there for you, if they won't. I can love you and treat you like you are important."
Freddie pulled me into a kiss, but this one was different. It was more passionate than any other kisses we had had together, as if he poured all of his emotions into it. His tongue glided over my bottom lip, asking for entrance. I wasn't sure if I should allow him in, because I had never been this far before, but something told me that I could trust him. I allowed him entrance and it was the best feeling I had ever experienced. When our tongues met, a new sensation passed through my body. The need for air grew, so we separated. Freddie placed his forehead on top of mine, his breathing was trying to regulate.
"Thanks, Princess Puckett, I really needed to hear that."
"No problem Frednub," I said smiling.
We decided that we had had enough of the emotional stuff, so Freddie and I laid in the grass. His arm was wrapped around my waist and my head on his chest. We just looked at the clouds.
After a few hours of laying there and talking about mindless things, we decided to go home. The walk back was peaceful. If there was a silence between us, there was no need to fill it. I embraced the silence because it gave me time to process the information Freddie told me. I was still in shock from what he told me. It also made me put my life into prospective. I felt guilty, because David wanted me here. Even if I didn't want to believe it, he loved me and I was throwing it away.
When we made it home, Tucker was sitting on the steps and he looked slightly pissed.
"Where have you and pretty boy been all day?"
"I let you two have some time alone," Freddie whispered in my ear. He kissed me on the cheek and then he disappeared in the house.
"What was that about," he said gesturing between me and where Freddie stood.
"Nothing," it came out more as a question than a statement.
"I thought I was your best friend. We tell each other everything," he said pouting.
"Come inside and I will explain everything to you," I said giving in.
Tucker practically ran into the house, so that he could hear the story. I chuckled to myself as I slowly followed suite. Suddenly a hand grabbed my wrist and drug me into the house. When they finally stopped pulling we ended up back in my bedroom, and I realized that it was Tucker.
"Why did you just drag me into the house," I asked incredulously.
"Because the faster you walk, the faster I can hear the story," he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
We settled on my bed and I told Tucker everything. I told him about Freddie and I's situation, but I left out the emotional parts because that was an intimate moment that Freddie and I shared, and I want to keep it that way.
"So you and Freddie are a thing now. I approve," he said warmly.
"And since when did I need your approval for anything," I asked jokingly.
"Since I have been dressing you," he said bluntly.
We continued to talk for a few more minutes, until Tucker suddenly got up and started to walk towards the door.
"Hey, where are you going," I asked.
"If you must know, I have a hot date tonight," he said excitingly.
"And how come I do not know about this mysterious guy?"
"I didn't want to tell you, incase it didn't turn out exactly the way I wanted it to."
"Okay I understand, get out of here hot stuff."
"See you later, I'll call you tonight," he said, before he kissed cheek and left.
Freddie walked into my room a fem minutes later and sat right next to me.
"I just wanted to let you know that I had a really great time today on our date."
"It was not a date Benson."
"Oh come on Puckett, you know it was a date."
"It was not a date," I practically yelled.
"It was too date."
"Its not a date until you ask me," I said shyly.
"Okay Samantha, will you go out on a date with me this Saturday."
"I would love to."
I leaned over to kiss him and he immediately responded. He licked my bottom lip and I instantly opened my mouth. His hand landed on my hip and the other was somehow tangled into my hair. My hands found their way to his chest. We slowly fell back onto my bed. Just as I was about to pull away, someone cleared their throat in the doorway. We instantly pulled apart to find David staring at us.
