Disclaimer: I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.
This was originally one teeny tiny chapter and a longer one. You'd all been so good reviewing for me, though, that I didn't have the heart to put it up as just one (plus, what would have been the first chapter was going to be called 'final words' and I think I'd rather save that title for the end of the story :P)
* * * * *
Gill looked longingly at the door when Cal left. She always missed him when they were apart, even for a few minutes, and that was particularly true when she was upset. She just wanted him to come back and hold her and tell her everything would be alright. She wished he could make all of the pain go away and somehow magically make a baby appear that would be theirs forever and nobody could take it away.
Gill's mother watched her daughter carefully. "You're really in love with him, aren't you?" she asked.
Gill nodded. "Yeah, I am," she replied, smiling sadly.
"What's wrong?" her mother asked gently. "Doesn't he want children?"
Gill shook her head. "No, he does," she assured the older woman. "He's desperate for another child."
"What's the problem, then?" came her mother's slightly confused reply.
Gill took a deep, shaky breath. She wondered how much more of this she could take. "Can we talk about this later, please?" she asked hopefully.
"You're scared," he mother called her on it.
"Mum...."
"Gillian, don't you lie to me. You know I'll know, even if I don't know your science. I'm your mother. Now, look me in the eye and tell me fear isn't the only thing holding you back."
Gill looked away. She couldn't. "I just... can we please talk about this after the wedding?" she requested. "All I've done since Cal and I started talking about this is cry. I want my baby back but I can't have that, so I just want to think about Sophie quietly without having to talk about losing her. I'm getting married, I'm meant to be happy. Please, just... after the wedding. We can talk about it when Cal and I get back from our honeymoon. I promise," she said, trying one last time to convince her mother to drop the subject.
"Alright," she finally agreed. "But I won't forget this, and I won't forget I'm on Cal's side this time, either," she warned Gill.
Gillian nodded. 'Okay, mum. I know," she said, and prayed that, for now, that was the end of their conversation.
* * * * *
Later that afternoon Gill returned home from shopping with her mother and let herself into the hotel room. She was drained both physically and emotionally. The lights in the room were dim and she sighed, turning them back up to full power as she made her way inside and set her bags down.
"Oi!" Cal complained. "How's a bloke meant to create an atmosphere with you around, woman?" he asked her playfully, standing up and walking over to greet her with a kiss.
Gill looked around. Sure enough, Cal had lit some candles and put a tablecloth on the small table in their room. On the table there was a vase containing a single red rose. She opened her mouth to speak but Cal hushed her with another kiss.
"Don't say anything," he said gently. "I know you've had a rough 24 hours, and it's mostly been my fault. I've drawn you a bath, and when you've had some time to yourself we can order room service and have a quiet dinner. No more talk about starting a family. I want to marry you no matter what, so let's just focus on the wedding for now and we can sort it out in a month or two, alright, darling?"
Gill offered Cal a relieved smile and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder. "You're so good to me," she said softly.
Cal grinned. He was actually proud of himself. "Yep, I'm a real catch," he told Gill playfully. "And don't you forget it. Now, go and enjoy your bath," he instructed, gently ushering her towards the bathroom.
When Gill stepped into the bathroom she noticed the lights were dimmed there, too. Almost the only light came from more candles. The bath had been run and was full of bubbles, and sitting on the edge of it was a glass of white wine. She smiled then and, knowing Cal sometimes felt self-conscious about the romantic, caring gestures he made, she turned her smile into a grin before turning her body to face him. "You're exceptionally well-trained," she informed her fiancé. "I'm actually torn between time alone and wanting you to join me."
Cal shook his head. "As tempting as that offer is, this is about you having time to clear your head," he informed her. "Take some time to yourself without your mother or me watching you and think about whatever it is you want to think about... Or think about nothing. Whatever you want to do. Then, when you're done, you can call me if you need someone to wash your back, alright?" he instructed with a smile. He knew how difficult it was for Gill to deal with her feelings regarding Sophie and her failed attempts at having a baby, and he suspected that having him and her mother around watching her every move, analysing every twitch on her face must make it even more difficult. She couldn't just feel without having those feelings shared with someone else.
Gill pressed her lips against Cal's firmly then, pulling him close. "I love you," she whispered against his lips. "You make me so happy, and you take incredibly good care of me. I can't wait to be your wife."
Cal beamed with pride then. He'd failed in his marriage with Zoe, but he had a second chance at getting things right with Gill and he had every intention of making the most of it. There wasn't anything he wouldn't do for that woman. "It still amazes me every time you say something like that," Cal replied.
"Why?" Gill asked, stepping back a little then slowly starting to undress to get into the bath.
"I wonder what someone as amazing as you is doing with me. I mean, I'm a bit rough 'round the edges, aren't I?" he asked. It wasn't the first time they'd had this discussion. As cocky as he could be about a lot of things, Cal really did think he wasn't good enough for Gill.
Gill looked at Cal, slipping out of her skirt and folding it neatly then sitting it on the edge of the basin. "Do you want to know when I first knew for sure?" she asked. "I've loved you for a long time, first as a friend and then as more, but I still remember the first time my heart skipped a beat and I knew you were the man I was meant to spend the rest of my life with."
Cal raised an eyebrow and studied Gill carefully. She'd never told him before. "Alright.." he agreed, somewhat hesitant.
"We were working back late one night," Gill said, taking off her bra and smiling a little as she remembered the night in question. "Zoe had to go out of town at the last minute so she'd dropped Emily off at the office. Emily was sick so she'd curled up on the lounge in your study and gone to sleep. I came to find you and I guess you must have been worried she was getting cold, because when I came in you were sitting on the couch next to her tucking your coat around her shoulders to keep her warm. The expression on your face then... There was love, concern, compassion...and even through all of those gentle things there was this overriding feeling that you would do anything in the world to protect her and make her pain go away. You looked at her, and it was like for a few minutes your whole focus had been narrowed down to the one thing that was the most important in your life and nothing else existed. I saw how amazing you were with her and that's when I knew for sure," she admitted, her heart fluttering just thinking about it. "From that moment on you had me. Hook, line and sinker."
Cal remembered that night well. He'd been so worried about Emily he couldn't possibly concentrate on his work. All he'd wanted to do was look after his little girl. "I didn't know you saw that," he admitted quietly.
Gill nodded. "Once I saw for sure what an amazing father you were and how gentle you could be when you let your walls down there was no way I could have stopped myself falling for you, even if I'd wanted to."
"But if what made you fall in love with me was me being a good father to Emily then how can you say you don't want..."
Gill cut Cal off. "My bath's getting cold, Cal," she told him gently. She didn't want him to bring that up now. They'd promised not to talk about it until after the wedding and, truth be told, she knew that if he went down that road with her now her resolve would weaken and she'd say yes to trying again, which would leave her wide open for being dragged through years of pain and disappointment.
Cal wanted to argue but nodded his head instead, slowly backing out of the bathroom and closing the door as he left. He rested his hand on the wood and looked at it, his heart pounding in his chest. Whether she'd meant for them to do it or not, Gill's words offered him hope.
