Tada! I worked very hard on getting this one out in a speedy fashion.
Chapter 6: Letters; unspoken words, unknown emotions
Zuko paced along the carpet in his room. Finally, everyone was coming for their first real visit, for the first time in five years. Everyone would be there, his friends, his family. Together they would all be whole.
Back and forth.
Back and forth.
Back and forth.
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
One, two three.
Back and forth Zuko paced the carpets, his stomach was turning to tight knots, if he'd eaten anything in the past two days he'd fear for losing it all.
"Zuko," Mai's monotonous voice drifted through the room, "sit down, you're going to make yourself sick."
"I can't they're going to be here any minute." He ran a shaky hand through his hair, pulling it temporarily out of his face. Zuko never really wore his hair in the traditional Fire Lord top-knot. His hair was always short, and always in his face, for a long time the council hated it. Begged, pleaded and even threatened him to be more traditional, gradually though, they were starting to relax.
"I don't know why you're so worked up, it's only a stupid party."
Zuko stopped momentarily and simply stared at her. Stupid party? This wasn't about the anniversary party, it wasn't about the stuffy clothes, or the endless preparation that went into this. It was about having everyone together.
It was about the butterflies that ran through his stomach when he thought about how long it's been. Would she be proud? What would they think of what's been done?
Besides, there was one thought really bothering his mind. One question he constantly asked himself. Why didn't she tell him? They'd been writing for years and she hadn't told him anything.
"Sparky!" Toph slammed in through the door, not even bothering to knock. "They're here!" From the week she spent here Zuko could see all the differences and all the similarities from so many years ago. She was taller now, still petite for a woman. The top of her head only came to his shoulder. It's not like it mattered anyway, Toph clearly was the strongest, most capable young woman alive. Still, not even her eternally bored face could hide her excitement. Her young face lit up, even her empty eyes glittered happily. "Come on!" She grabbed Zuko's hand and set out in a run, dragging him behind her.
Just as she had promised, the bison had landed in the garden, excited voices drifted across the ground filling the young Fire Lord's ears. The faces were strange, but familiar, so much was different but exactly the same.
"Toph!" Suki waved her arms from across the grass, "Zuko! Guys come here!" Toph broke out in a dead run, closing the gap in a few short seconds. Zuko cringed when he noticed she wasn't slowing down, instead she plowed straight into Sokka, knocking the warrior to the ground. The closer Zuko got he noticed how round in the middle Suki was, she had to be due any day.
"What do we have here?" Zuko asked, gesturing to Suki and her soon to be baby.
Her eyes smiled, watering slightly, "Sorry," She wiped her eyes on a corner of fabric, "The baby makes me overly emotional. I'm just so happy, we've been waiting for this for months."
"But you're so…." Zuko wrestled in his mind for the best, politest way to say it.
"Big? Pregnant?" She placed one hand on her hip, the other was rested protectively on her stomach.
"We all would have understood if you two choose not to come."
"Don't say that." She gently slapped his arm, "We wouldn't have missed this for anything."
"No kidding," Sokka came up and wrapped his arm around Suki's shoulder, "It's been years, there was no way we were going to wuss out."
Zuko smiled, his heart smiled, "So, is there any other…?"
Sokka tilted his head, clearly confused.
"Oh god no," Suki saved him, "This is our first."
"Congratulations, both of you. Tonight will be in your honor." The happy couple smiled but Zuko barely even noticed, his attention was slipping further and further with each second, he wanted to find her.
Wandering through the small crowd so many new faces, each bearing the colors of their nation proudly. Yellows, oranges and beiges; greens, tans and browns; blues, purples and teals. Where was she? Zuko's eyes searched endlessly until he saw it, the mess of brown curls hanging loosely.
"Katara." Her form turned to meet the voice her soul recognized, her heart stopped in an instant, her smile faded.
"Zuko." He noticed everything and nothing all at once. She looked older, her features sharper, and softer at the same time. Somehow she managed to look like she belonged to both the Air and water nations. The short blue kimono she wore was made of the light airy material Aang always wore. It's large open sleeves hung around her wrists, and the bottom seam just above her knees. The whole thing was tied shut with a thick black belt, with the water tribe insignia woven into either end. Idly Zuko Noticed her lack of shoes, and wondered when she had decided to stop wearing them.
Zuko's heart clenched in his chest, she looked nice, especially for a married woman.
She stuttered Nervously, stumbling over her words, running them together "Hi.. uh, I.. uh. Here" Katara shoved a basket full of fresh fruits into Zuko's chest. "They're from my garden."
Zuko looked down to the large woven basket, happy colors and shapes smiled back at them. He wasn't entirely sure what all of them were, but there was not a single one which looked unhealthy.
"I didn't think that you would even know how to cook, so all of them are supposed to be eaten fresh." She fiddled with the hem of her kimono, avoiding at all costs looking up to meet his eyes. Why should she? Sure, he wrote the most often, but letters were always filled with promises and promises of visits, none of which were ever carried out. In essence he had abandoned her with pretty words. With a sigh she brushed the thoughts aside, she knew why he couldn't visit.
"They look amazing, thank you Katara." Looking into the greens, yellows, oranges, reds, and blues, Zuko felt guilty for never even once leaving to visit. He constantly left to see his uncle and Toph, but never once did he spend an extra few days to see her. Let her know she's not alone. Her brother and Suki probably hadn't visited much either. He'd always let himself be convinced by the court that he needed to return as soon as possible.
There was a heavy, awkward silence in which Zuko tried to fill with an equally awkward attempt to break it, "I bet you feed all of the Air Temple with these fruits."
"Yeah."
There was another awkward heartbeats of silence, "Oh, Zuko," Katara motioned to the girl standing next to her, which before now Zuko hadn't even noticed. "This is Tiel."
"Pleased to meet you Fire Lord Zuko." The girl bowed respectfully in a traditional Air Nomad salute, which strangely resembled that of the Fire Nation. When she stood up right, she was roughly the same height of Katara, but that is where the similarities ended. Her skin was pale as the moon, her hair as black as the night that hung in straight locks past her waist. She had wrapped a single cord around the end—six inches or so above the end—to keep it away from her face. She wore a loose fitting orange tunic, allowing none of her female grace of form to show through. On her face she wore a pair of shale grey eyes, marking her as an Air Bender. For a moment it was as if history had leapt of the pages at him, bringing benders of old to his face.
"I told you about her, a long time ago." Katara smiled, clearly happy to talk about anything other than herself. "Her and her little brother just showed up one day."
"So you're a real Air Bender?" Zuko asked politely.
She smiled, a shy blush creeping across her cheeks, "I still have much to learn, Avatar Aang is being most helpful though." Her voice was a high soprano, barely whistling out of her lungs.
"Speaking of Aang, where is he?"
Katara looked around briefly, "I don't know, he was on Appa a second ago. He might be saying hi to Sokka."
Just then Toph boisterous voice could be heard above everything,even Appa, "Sugar Queen! Is that you?"
Katara broke out into a run, wrapping her arms around the small girl, both of them collapsed into the grass, into a hysterical fit of giggles.
"So, you are who she writes to?" Tiel smiled while she stood with her arms crossed in her sleeves.
"Huh?"
"I can tell by how she looks at you, and by how you look at her." Tiel's grey eyes were sly, and dark. Filled with a knowledge unseen.
"There you are." Aang soared in on his glider, landing gracefully next to the girl. "Oh, hey Zuko." One thing was absolutely sure, he had gotten big, tall. In the five years Aang had made the biggest change of everyone. He had gone from a 12 year old boy, to tall, lean 17 year old.
There was something strange though, that didn't sit right in Zuko's stomach. There was something in Aang's eye that had changed. Zuko watched the two across from him, shamelessly. Watching how they moved and interacted, hoping to pick up on some of Aang's new behaviors. It all seemed natural enough. He smiled, he laughed, he rested his hand on her back reassuringly, asking how she felt after the trip. It was probably one of her first trips on Appa, Zuko remembered how uneasy that could leave one.
"Zuko? Zuko." Before he knew it , Aang was waving his hands in front of his face.
"Oh, sorry, was just thinking. What were you saying?"
"Was just telling Tiel about the old days, of us wandering around. And how it's good to be back here. I know Katara's been looking forward to it for weeks now."
"Really?"
"Oh yeah, she hasn't stopped talking about it, been packing for weeks and weeks. Though, I don't know what she's been packing, the life of a monk doesn't have that many possessions."
Tiel laughed quietly, "She's just not like us, she doesn't understand." There it was again. Something about how Aang looked at her when she spoke left Zuko uneasy.
"Yeah, hey, I'm going to go find Sokka and harass him for a while. Feel free to come to me for anything."
"Kay, seeya Zuko!" A chill traveled down his spine as he walked away, something wasn't right.
Across the grass the two girls were sitting side by side, watching the transaction take place.
"Hey, what are you two doing?" Suki waddled over, lowering herself into the grass.
"Just watching Sugar Queen swoon over her man." Toph picked her nose, flinging a disgusting looking booger away.
"What? I- No!" Katara felt heat rising in her face, threatening to flush through.
"Mind if I join? I need to sit, the baby's unhappy with our trip."
"Not at all." Katara patted the grass beside her, grateful for the shift of attention. "Congratulations Suki, I'm so sorry I couldn't make it to the wedding."
"It's ok Katara, we both understood. I mean, it's not like you're rebuilding a nation or anything."
Katara laughed, "Thank you Suki. So, what are you going to name the baby?"
"I don't know, we haven't really talked about it. Besides, we wanted to wait until it was born. Knowing a gender could be nice."
While the two girls laughed Toph snorted, "Gee, I hate being a girl. Nothing's changed between you two."
"Oh Toph, are you telling me you haven't found a boyfriend yet?"
"Nope."
"What's the matter Toph," Katara teased, "Do you scare them all away?"
"Yep."
"Oh." Katara looked down, immediately embarrassed.
"Relax sugar queen, I just don't want some tender footed ninny following me around everywhere. Not appealing."
Everyone went quiet as Katara found her attention distracted. Next to Appa, Zuko was helping Sokka unload everything from the bison.
It had been years of writing, years of letters stacking up in her room, she hadn't wanted to admit it to anyone, but Katara secretly kept all the letters he wrote. Whenever she was feeling lonely she would spend a day reading them all again, and at least for an afternoon she didn't feel quite so alone in her new world. Looking at him, she felt hurt. Never once had he written about him and Mai. Did he feel embarrassed? Did he just not want to tell her? Did he not think it was important enough to tell her? Of course it was important! He was her best friend, how could he not see it fit to even invite her to his wedding? They'd been together for nearly six years now! By now Mai would be the nation's Fire Lady, and Zuko didn't even see it fit to tell her. Needless to say, Katara was hurt and it took everything in her power not to scream it at him when he approached her.
But now that she was at a safe distance, Katara let her eyes drift over him. Time had worn him well, he was starting to fill out with age, his muscles becoming firmer, thicker. Though you couldn't tell through the wardrobe he chose. The shirt was incredibly unflattering, a thick dark red vest covered his torso, buttoned almost all the way to his neck. All it left exposed were his arms. The stupid shirt, it left nothing for a girl's imagination to play with. It was nice that he had decided to continue to wear is hear shorter than what Fire Lords traditionally wore. It reminded her of a younger Zuko, one she wasn't mad at.
"Could you two stop!" Toph screamed suddenly, "It's bad enough listening to one swooning pulse, please don't make me listen to two!"
Suki chuckled and apologized, "Sorry, but his is my husband, I'm entitled to swoon if I want." She looked over to Katara, waiting for her response. What she found was a distressed Katara with her arms wrapped around her legs, holding them to her chest.
"I'm outta here." Toph pulled herself from the ground, "See you Drama mammas later."
Suki looked at Katara again, "Come on, help me up. We're going for a walk."
The two girls grabbed each other's forearms for support until they both were standing.
Zuko had showed Sokka where the rooms were, allowing the two girls to take some possessions to where they were sleeping tonight, and get ready for the festivities. Granting each girl plenty of time to bathe and dress. They both figured Suki would need some help. It was silent most of the walk while Katara thought, and Suki waited. Katara tried to concentrate on the ground beneath her feet. Living in the Air Temple had taught her to walk barefoot. The ground there was soft and smooth with age indoors, outdoors she kept the grass lush enough for even the most tenderfoot. Most of the Air Temple's inhabitants went barefoot, except when on scouting missions, or gathering supplies from the nearby towns. Aside from that they hadn't needed shoes. The entire temple was their home.
Suddenly, Katara burst out explosively "I wasn't swooning!"
"I know." Suki replied calmly, carrying a light basket.
"He's a jerk!"
"I know"
"I'm mad at him."
"I know."
"I don't even like him."
"I know." Suki kept replying, letting Katara work out her inner frustrations.
"He can't just act like he misses me or anything."
"I know."
"It's not like I missed him."
"I know."
"God Suki, you're not helping."
Both were silent a moment while Katara regained her thoughts.
"So, Katara, what aren't you saying?"
"Why didn't he tell me? I would have been happy for him to have a Fire Lady."
"See, there's the root of the stress. I don't know what's going through his head; it's been a long, long time since any of us saw each other."
"I just don't understand." Katara rested the basket she was holding on her hip while she opened the door for both of them.
"Well, why don't you ask him?"
"I don't know, I just can't"
Suki set the basket on her bed and went rummaging through one of the bags Katara recognized from the Southern Water Tribe. Katara on the other-hand, wandered into the bathroom and filled a tub with water, not entirely sure about how she was supposed to warm it.
"Sokka said you're the next room over. Most of your stuff has already been unloaded." Katara nodded to herself, drying her hands on a towel, "So, you know what I hate about being pregnant?"
"What?" Katara went to her basket, pulling out a hairbrush and a comb to work through her mess of curls.
"I feel so fat, all the time. How am I supposed to doll up feeling like a sea-lion?"
Katara laughed and wrapped her arms around Suki, "It's not that bad, you look cute as a momma"
"Thank you, but I'd rather not stay this way, I am so ready to be done."
"Don't worry Suki, we'll make you cute tonight."
"So, tell me about you and Aang, Sokka is terrible at telling me anything."
Katara shrugged her shoulders. "Eh, nothing really?'
"Nothing?" Suki looked at her confused.
"He's just so busy with rebuilding a nation; we haven't had much time to get close."
"Really? I thought you two would have been ahead of me and Sokka. Aang's crazy about you."
"Apparently his country is more important." Katara shrugged nonchalantly, easing the comb through her hair.
"Aw, don't say that. He loves you."
"I know, he's just always so busy. He spends most of his time teaching classes, mentoring Tiel, or going on scouting missions. Since I'm not an Air Bender I'm usually left at home to take care of… well life basically."
"Just give it time, I'm sure things will slow down in time."
"I know. It's just a matter of when. Oh Suki! You have to promise to visit me more often."
"I will, I promise. Just as soon as this baby comes out."
AN: please, if your unhappy about the chapter, just keep reading, it wont be the show-pairings much longer.
