I'm just going to go out and say it, not my favorite chapter to write, it just felt boring. Anyway hope you can find it to keep reading. It will pick up again after this.
Chapter 13: Zutara week, Change
"Zuko."
"Yes?" They had walked together mostly in silence linked hand in hand. But now the palace was finally in sight.
She'd been trying to word it the best she could, managing to be sensitive, "What happened to her? She's so… so…"
"Different?"
"Yeah, what happened?"
"No body's really sure. At first, back in prison she always screamed, always cried. Sometime she would talk to people who weren't there, like me, or dad, or mom. But then one day she just… stopped. Stopped screaming, stopped talking, stopped even feeding herself. The palace healers said her mind hit a breaking point, that it had been coming for a long time now, her mentality had been slowly slipping since the day she was a child.
"I suppose that's why she reverted how she did." Zuko wasn't even looking at her, instead he just stared off ahead of him, Katara wasn't even sure if he was talking to her any more. It seemed like he was talking to himself, trying to figure out what happened. "Her mind went back to a time where things were perfect, happy. Mentally she's a child again, unable to move forward. She doesn't even remember most of her past. It's all empty."
"You seemed so calm about it… Shouldn't you look into what she said about your mom?"
Zuko laughed loudly, "No, reality is a very loose concept to her right now."
"But shouldn't—"
"I looked into it in the beginning, but stopped. Every week our visits are exactly the same. She always tells me about mom, every week."
"So, her bending—?"
"She thinks she's lost it but she hasn't. I watched her heat a cup of tea without even realizing what she was doing."
"Oh…" an array of emotions ran through Katara. Azula had done so many horrible things, hurt so many people. But the frail little girl in that room couldn't possibly be capable of any of those things. Back then her bending had been the source of her power, wild and untamable with her rage, how should Katara feel?
He looked down at her, his amber eyes appeared exhausted and pained. Katara had no idea what these visits did to him. "You see why she doesn't need to be under maximum security anymore?"
"Zuko, I'm so sorry."
"Don't worry Katara, it's not your fault." He'd gone back to looking forward, aiming them into the palace.
"Well, maybe I could, I mean I could try taking a look at her, maybe I can help."
"Katara, all the best healers in the palace have tried. Nothing works."
"But can they actually work inside her? I can, I can get inside her mind and actually see what's wrong." He paused, unsure of what to say, how to take the offer, "Zuko, I can help. I want to help." Suddenly Katara knew her life was changing. Her life could have a purpose, here. "Zuko there's something else. I…" She paused for a moment, unsure if she should continue. She was nervous, this would mean her life would be changing. Her world would be shifting back in the direction she was once on. Could she do that? Could she give up everything for this, now? The warmth of his hand wrapped around hers told Katara she could. With this strength she found in him she could do this, her life could change, and she knew she'd be happy. "I don't think I want to leave."
"I already told you, you don't have to go anywhere."
"No, it's not that I just don't want to go anywhere. I want to stay. I want to be here, to help you however I can. I've been too many places, away from home too long, the South Pole isn't my home anymore. I just don't belong there."
"I'm sure that if you went back they'd take you without question."
"I know, it just doesn't feel like home any more. It's not where I belong. Zuko, I want to stay here, w-with you." She looked down, scared of what he might say. Instead he just smiled. "What?" Katara didn't realize it but she'd babbled for so long that they were inside the palace now, and stopped in front of a door.
"Are you absolutely sure? You want to stay here?"
"Yeah. I feel at home here."
"Alright," His smile stayed plastered on as he pushed the massive door into the room.
"What are—?" Katara was stopped short when she stepped into the room after him. The picture that unfurled before her was the second amazing shock today. Of all she had seen the Fire Nation had not been known for its color. Everything was in shades of black, dark auburn, and reds. But here, this room was so full of soothing life. Compared to the room she'd been staying in, the furniture all still held its deep reddish-brown colors, only now they were accented with all the shades of the ocean, not threatened by the intensity of the reds. "Zuko, where are we?" she was left mostly breathless.
"It used to be my room, before I moved to the Fire Lord's chambers."
Upon inspection she noticed the bed sat on a raised platform, steps leading up to a grand bed. Red sheets had been replaced with varying colors of the ocean: deep, royal blues, aquas, and navys. Thin sea-foam colored gauze draped over the sturdy frame of the bed, creating a heavenly veil around the mattress. Against the light contrast of the canopy, the frame of the bed looked intensely solid with its dark brown wood.
The dark curtain (which she assumed lead out to a balcony) had been replaced with a thick green velvet one. Windows in the room held the equally dark velvet hangings, draped over solid wooden rods.
She couldn't help but wander into the bathroom. Smooth gray marble slabs coated the floor, and walls. Around an elegant tub, the same sea-foam gauze hung from the ceiling, protecting the view inward. Plush forest-green towels sat folded neatly on a dark wooden shelf.
"Zuko, this is amazing…" She paused, inspecting his expression and the poorly hidden satisfaction, "You knew?"
"Oh no, I didn't know but I hopped. Shortly after Aang left I had this set up… just in case."
Katara found herself shaking with emotions, "You did this… for me?"
He nodded, smiling, "Wait, there's more I want to show you."
The skin of his hand was warm as it wrapped caressingly around her own, leading her through the heavy green curtain which lead outside. Her heart warmed upon the sight, the small balcony overlooked the royal courtyard which she had spent so much time in. Just there by the pond, is where she used to visit every day because it was the closest to water she could get in the palace. Beneath the trees is where she'd sat only a few hours ago. Those same leafy trees tickled against the handrails here.
"It's beautiful out here Zuko, thank you."
"Over here. Look." She's been so overwhelmed by the joy here that she didn't even notice the large wooden boxes on the ground.
"What's-?" The closer she got it was hard not to tell what was there, by now she recognized the smell of earth, "Dirt?"
"Dirt." Zuko stated, clearly proud of himself and the prize he presented, she however was clearly lost on his message.
"I don't get it…"
"Think, what grows in dirt?" he leaned forward slightly, nudging her closer to the answer.
"Mmm… plants?"
"Yes! For your own garden. Your own, here."
Her voice rang out happily as she laughed, his silly grin spread from cheek to cheek, proud of his success here. Lunging herself at him, Katara wrapped her arms around his strong shoulders, "Thank you Zuko... thank you."
Nothing but pure warmth spread through his bones, her voice warm against his ear, her nose cool against his neck. She used to hug him like this all the time, but five long years had gone by without it. His arms slid up around her waist, pressing her close to him. Back then he loved her hugs, they always felt so natural to him. As natural as breathing in the air to feed his lungs, or absorbing the sun to his spirit. Today he knew why it was so natural. The two fit together, perfectly. His hugs with Mai fit comfortably enough, but something had always been off. Her head wasn't at the perfect height to fit into the curve of his shoulder. Her waist lacked the appropriate curve for his fingers to rest. Mai wasn't Katara.
He'd waited five years for this and he couldn't figure out why. What was he afraid of? Why did he let her just walk away like she did?
Internally Zuko sighed as she pulled her sweet breath from his neck. Not a word was exchanged between the two, their eyes said it all in a secret language only they understood. The second time in just as many days he recognized the intensity of her eyes, the shadow that hung over them.
Katara's skin tingled under his touch. Up her spine, against the slope of her neck, finally lingering on her jaw line. Her heart skipped irregularly as she felt the gentle tug towards him. The knuckles of one hand rested under her chin, his other on the small of her back. Her chest fluttered nervously, the only distance between them was her hand, rested on his chest. His strong, able chest which housed one of the warmest hearts she'd ever known.
It was only a matter of hairs that separated their lips, only a breath apart. His warm breath brushed against her lips.
"Zuko…" Her cool voice was barely above a whisper. Why did she always talk at this time, why did she always have to interrupt?
"Shh…" Without further adieu their lips met and the world dissolved. Heavens sang, internal walls collapsed. Two hearts and souls became one. Zuko's head spun with the sweet sensation, Katara's heart stopped.
In countless fights and sparring matches, Katara and Zuko could never find a winner. Neither could ever truly call a match ended with an upper hand. Now, they knew why, the two of them were perfectly matched, in every way. Their first kiss was no different. But that didn't matter right now, nothing mattered in the moment but the two.
Fire met water, the sun met the moon as his gentle lips caressed hers. Why didn't he do this five years ago? Why instead of showing her how he felt did he watch her fly away to a future which wasn't her own. Never again.
For so long she'd lived in the past, her heart always sat with him as she watched the sunrise disappear. Letters had gotten her through the worst, but they were always days behind. No more. She had nothing to look back for. It was time to move forward. Just like she had seen in Azula, everything could change.
And now it was their turn.
