AN: This is a really short chapter, but it's important in its own way

AN: This is a really short chapter, but it's important in its own way. Also, the Mature rating is in full play so that was your warning. I also realized that I haven't put any disclaimers in here, so I'll put one in now: J.K. owns everything except my character, if you need a list of them just ask. –Richard S.

Picking and Choosing (Tales of Hogwarts Romance) Chapter 23

(AN: R&R DAMNIT!!)

But when Killious walked into the common room she was relieved and horrified in the same breath to find that neither Draco nor Pansy was present at the moment. She inhaled slowly to calm herself. It really was none of her business. Who cared anyway? Certainly not her, he was her friend. She didn't own any part of him, except that small space in his unbelievably miniscule heart. That made her calm down more than experimental breathing. He didn't care about her in the least, or at least not romantically, he was and always would be, the same ice cold boy that she met her first day at this school. All the tension in her bones was falling away as she pulled books and parchment out of her bag and prepared to finish some homework. This was healthier; it was what she wanted, friends. And friends were permitted to date other people, kiss other people, and fuck other people. It didn't matter. With this state of mind impressed firmly into her brain, Killious Quintessence Enquirous finished her homework, went to bed, and began telling herself a most self-destructive and miserable lie that she would continue to tell herself for far too long.

Draco watched Pansy shed her clothing in seconds. She'd done this with him far too many times; actually, she'd just done this far too many times in general. It wasn't exactly hard for him to overlook all the other boys she slept with, he didn't care, so ignorance was bliss. Or at least ignorance was momentary sexual pleasure…with lots and lots of protection. His eyes were glazed over as she unbuttoned his shirt, and pulled his pants and socks off. She was trying to be seductive in her hot pink bra and panty set, or at least that's what he guessed she was trying to be, he couldn't tell because he couldn't even begin to think of her as seductive, or sultry, or any other words for giving him a hard on that started with an "s".

She was ready to start now. He needed to come out of his day dreamy state of mind. She gave him a most disturbing smile, as if she was about to eat him in some sick act of cannibalism, just before she kissed him. It was slick, cold, and far from heartfelt, but he couldn't be fussy, he'd been spoiled by his "best friend" back when best friends could kiss. This was for her in reality. That seemed pig headed and stupid, it seemed like some sort of twisted logic, and it was, but he knew it would work. She might be mad for a little while, but Illy was a master of burying her pain, so within a day or two she would pretend like they never gave two shits about each other. He could live like that; he could lie to himself just as well as she could. He would pretend it was enough until the day that he couldn't take it any more, and then it would come pouring out like an avalanche and she would love him for it or hate him…in that moment she would bring him to life or kill him with her words. That was fine. He would have a few years by her side.

Pansy giggled shrilly as she wrapped her fingers around his bare member. He had been a master of lying all his life really. He lied to everyone about everything. He lied to the entire world about his likes and dislikes, he lied about his moral views, he lied about his feelings, he lied about his entire personality, and he lied even more about his fear and his hatred. He could feel himself getting hard, but that was a physical response to a physical touch, his mind was a million miles away. His father and his mother would probably die, not knowing a damned thing about him. That was sad in a way. He did love his mother, or at least he loved her as much as he'd ever loved someone paternally. She was trying way too hard to make this work, a smarter, less obsessed girl would have realized he wasn't even really there and just walked away, but Pansy was Pansy. And Pansy would do what she had to.

She started to climb on top of him. He may have been distant but he wasn't a total moron. He pushed her back and pulled his wand out; he cast four or five protection spells and put on a condom. There was no reason to risk multiple communicable diseases or sexually transmitted curses. Pansy seemed discouraged by his excessive behavior, but not defeated. She smiled smugly as she pushed aside her panties and slid herself slowly down his shaft. He was back to his stoicism by now. Illy would be his friend now, nothing more or less. They would see other people, they would touch other people, and they would love other people. Or at least, she would. Draco Malfoy didn't love anyone, it was another one of those lies that beautifully diseased his life. But this one was true to a degree, he really didn't love anyone before this, and for all he knew this could have been a stupid crush that his head had blown out of proportion. Yes, that was it. He never really cared to begin with. Pansy was panting, bouncing up and down on top of him. She was a horrible lover, she was happy to do everything herself. Maybe she wasn't that bad, he just wasn't interested. She might have been a good screw if he actually participated.

She pulled his hand to her right breast and forced it to squeeze, resulting in a series of noises that sounded more painful than erotic. She was moving as fast and hard as she could on her own, if this lie was going to work he would have to participate. He stopped her motion by holding on to her hips. She looked puzzled and disappointed, but he lifted her off of him and rolled her beneath him. Now she was just pleased. She spread her legs to accommodate him. He was supporting his own weight with both arms on either side of her head. He thrust once, her hips rushed to meet his. This didn't feel right, none of it, not the lying, not the sex, nothing. He could feel his stomach knotting as he began the rhythmic motion. Pansy's noises were horrible, she screamed about things entirely too much. He knew she wasn't like this with other lovers, with them she was demanding, she made them do her right. He was the only one that was lied to over and over again…or maybe he was just that good. This made him smirk a little. He sped up now, getting into the mood of the action more. Pansy was moaning beneath him. Beads of sweat were forming on his brow and dropping down to her small breasts. He took hold of one. It was one of those things she loved. He narrowed his eyes on her; she was contracting around him, squirming in pleasure. He finished with a final, hard thrust into her. She screamed his name. The whole dorm would hear something that loud. He smiled and fell back onto his pillows. That wasn't terrible.

It had never been bad before this. Illy was ruining everything in his life. He used to be able to enjoy meaningless sex with girls he didn't care about in the least. Now he had to work at it. He started to close his eyes to fall asleep, but Pansy was far from done. Her mouth was around him in a matter of seconds; her head was bobbing up and down. He remembered now, whenever he ignored her for a while she went crazy. She'd be waking him up all night with pointless, half awake, sex. Draco just sighed and closed his eyes, he could do this. He had to. And with that final thought Draco Malfoy let a tear or two slide down his cheek, he couldn't lie as well as Killious could, but he would certainly hurt himself just as much trying. From now on, she was his friend, and any sex they had would be pointless.