Disclaimer: I do not own Lie to Me or any of the characters in this story.
Gill makes her first attempt to find out what Cal's been up to. All will be revealed in the next two chapters.
As the weeks passed Cal returned to being secretive, often sitting deep in thought until Gillian entered the room, then changing what was on his screen, or hiding some sort of booklets or pamphlets where she couldn't see them. Any time she asked him if he wanted to share he refused, and it was starting to get to Gill. She didn't like secrets after what had happened with Alec, and it was hard for her to trust Cal and not punish him for the mistakes her ex-husband had made. Every now and then Cal would go for a few days without the obvious attempts to hide things from her, then they'd start again. It was the one blemish on what Gill saw as their otherwise perfect marriage.
"Cal?" she said one morning, catching him during their cuddle time. They tried to make time every morning when they woke up to just lay in bed together. Sometimes they talked, other times they were silent, but every time they enjoyed the opportunity to be near the person they loved without interruptions.
"Yes, love?" he replied, pulling Gill a little closer and sniffing her hair.
"I know I've asked before, but is there anything you want to talk to me about?" she asked.
"Nope," he replied casually. He knew she was talking about him hiding things, and as bad as he felt for putting her through it, it was something he'd considered very carefully before he'd decided to go ahead with it.
"Nothing at all?" Gill asked sadly. She hated that he felt he had to hide things from her.
Cal hesitated. "We could talk about trying for kids," he decided. Not what he'd been hiding from her, but if she was going to keep giving him an opening of course he was going to jump in and take it at some point!
"You know how I feel about that," Gill replied, her body tensing against her husband's.
"Then I've got nothing to say," Cal told her. He'd already argued his case to Gill, she just didn't seem to want to listen. Either that or she didn't care, but Cal doubted that very much. Gill was the most caring woman he knew.
"Honey, you can't keep shutting me out like this," she said gently. "I know something's going on. Why won't you talk to me?"
"There's nothing to talk about," Cal said. "I can't force you to start a family, and I wouldn't want to. I don't want you resenting me and our child because you felt like you were under duress. As for the rest of it, that's private."
"Private even from your wife?" Gill asked, sitting up to look at him.
"There's a such thing as too much honesty in a marriage," Cal told her.
"You're really quoting Zoe to me?" Gill asked. Zoe had said that to Cal on multiple occasions, and Gill had been witness to at least two.
"She's probably right, you know," Cal pointed out.
"And lies and secrecy can destroy a marriage just as easily. We both saw how that's worked in the past."
"I'm not Alec, Gillian," Cal told her. "I'm not taking drugs, and I'm not cheating on you. You know I wouldn't do that."
"Then what's so bad that you can't tell me?" she asked. "Are you sick, Cal?" she wondered, her voice full of concern.
"Hey, don't get upset," Cal said, sitting up and kissing Gill's cheek. "I'm not sick, I promise. It's nothing bad, I just have a decision to make and I'm weighing up all of my options before I make it."
"You're not putting our names down with adoption agencies without me knowing, are you?" Gill asked.
Cal shook his head. "No, love. I wouldn't go behind your back like that. I promise you when I've made a decision you'll be the first and only person I tell before I act on it, alright? You need to trust me. I promise, it won't lead do us having a child."
Gillian nodded hesitantly. "Alright," she agreed reluctantly, reaching out to trace the outline of her name on Cal's tattoo with her fingertip."When are you going to get something done about this, then?" she asked, her finger falling to the blank banner.
"I told you, love," Cal replied. "It's staying like that until we have a name to put there." He was standing strong on this. In all honesty, he still believed having children- or at least a child- was the right thing for Gillian, and he hoped he'd be able to convince her of that.
"You're so stubborn, it drives me insane sometimes," Gill told him, blue eyes meeting Cal's blue-green ones.
Cal shrugged. "So're you," he replied simply. "Months of trying to convince you to start a family haven't gotten me anywhere."
"You haven't been trying to convince me the whole time," Gill pointed out.
"Would it have made a difference if I had?"
"No," Gill conceded. "I've already made up my mind."
"Then what would be the point?" Cal asked. "You know how badly I want another kid, but you choose to ignore it. I have to accept that. No matter what, I'll always have Emily."
"We'll always have Emily," Gill corrected him quietly. It was only recently she'd gotten used to the idea of Emily actually being her step daughter.
"Sorry, love. That's right," Cal agreed. "We'll always have Emily. You, me and Zoe."
Gillian bristled. Cal's words had had the desired effect.
