Ok, so this chapter is gonna have a lot of flashbacks. It's basically a look at Charlie's past from Ruby's birth and then continuing on from there I'm not 100% happy with this but hopefully you'll enjoy it.


Sitting in the living room, Charlie reflected on the disasterous day she had been through as work. It seemed like she couldn't do anything right. Her mind was constantly elsewhere and she knew being the senior officer at the station, she couldn't just take the day off because of the fact she was distracted. It also didn't help that everytime she turned around she bumped into Angelo. How she wished he had been transferred out of Yabbie Creek after the investigation had been closed. At least that would have been one less thing for her to have to stomach everyday.

For the past week, Charlie had wondered aimlessly, trying to keep her mind focused on anything that would stop her going crazy. She missed Ruby. She missed the fighting over the bathroom in the mornings, the morning chit chat over breakfast before school, the cuddling on the couch at the end of a long day as they filled each other in on how school or work went. Now the only thing she faced at the end of the day was an empty house. Every night she went through the motions of cleaning the house, picking up take away from the diner, listening to Colleen bombard her with questions about Ruby when the truth of the matter was, she didn't know.

She didn't know how Ruby was doing. She didn't know if she was okay because she wasn't allowed to contact her. All Charlie wanted to do was pick up the phone and talk to her. But she couldn't and thats what really hurt. Then after spending a few meaningless hours talking to Martha, Leah and Rachel, she would spend the night at home, alone with the company of a bottle of wine and the thoughts that swirled around her head she couldn't block out. Everyday was like groundhog day, she knew that the next day would bring the exact same thing.

Sitting alone in the living room, Charlie stared into the distance. Then snapping out of her trance like state, she stood up and walked down the corridor, stealing a quick glance into Ruby's empty room, then continuing down to her bedroom, she pulled out her silk bed shorts and vest top and her short matching robe. Making her way to the bathroom she turned on the shower and stripped out of her police uniform. Looking at her reflection in the mirror, she turned he gaze to the cesar scar on her bikini line. Running her finger along it, she found herself remembering just how it had come to be.

Although it was the worst time in her life, out something so horrific, came the greatest gift Charlie had every recieved and for that she felt some sort of gratefulness for what had happened to her as a teenager. After spending quite some time soaking in the soothing hot shower, she dried herself off and dressed in her bedwear. Walking out of the bathroom she enter her bedroom and sat down at her vanity mirror. As she dried her hair she looked at the pictures that adorned the edges of the mirror. Pictures of Charlie on nights out with old friends and colleagues form the city, with her mother before she died, with her father, with her daughter, and then her eyes set upon a picture of her with Angelo.

Taking the picture down into her hands, she gazed at it for a couple of minutes. It was during one of their dates when tehy first got back together. Thinking back, she couldn't help but wonder what she saw in him. Was it his misconduct as a police officer? His inability to follow protocol? His violent tantrums when things didn't go his way? or was it the fact she was so scared of being alone she would happily give in to his constant nagging that they were a match made in heaven? Either way, one thing she knew for certain, whatever it was she felt for Angelo, it wasn't love. She could never truly love him. Turning the picture sideways, she tore it in half and dumped it in the bin beside the table.

Standing up she walked into the the kitchen and opened up the fridge. Pulling out a bottle of wine, she accidentally knocked some of Ruby's insulin bottles off the shelf and onto the floor. Smashing off the ground, Charlie slammed the wine bottle on the counter and ran her hands through her hair.

"Shit", she shouted as she picked up a brush and pan, she bent down and sweeped up the broken bottles and dumped them in the bin.

Then carefully stepping over the spot she had just sweeped up, she picked up the bottle of wine and a wine glass, walking from the kitchen to the living room. Sitting on the couch she put the glass on the coffee table in front of her and poured out a large glass of wine. Picking up the glass, she took a large swig and sat back on the couch. Closing her eyes for a moment she let out a small laugh at how pathetic she was being. If anybody could see her at that moment thay would laugh at her.

Opening her eyes she glanced around the room. Her eyes fell upon the book case that practically covered a whole entire wall. It was used to hold books, picture frames, police documents and photo albums. Walking over to the photo album shelf she took one out. It was red in colour and the lettering across the front. Sitting back down on the couch, she moved her wine glass to one side and place the photo album on the coffee table in front of her. It was the photo album she had shown Ruby. The one she kept as a personal momento of her daughter growing up, that she hid from her parents because she knew her father would never allow it.

Running her hand across the front of the album, she opened it up to the first photo. It was a picture of Ruby only one day old. Suddenly all the memories came flooding back...........

Lying in her hospital bed, Charlie's eyes were fixed on the sleeping baby lying in the crib beside her. Looking at her child, she felt empty. All she could see was what happened that night with Grant. How had her life turned out like this. She was fourteen years old. She should be out with her friends getting up to mischief. Not lying in hospital being forced to nurse a child she couldn't even look at without feeling disgusted. Then her parents walked in and cooed over their newborn granddaughter. Elsie looked at Charlie and watched as the youngster turned on her side away from them. Her eyes stinging with tears.....

Flipping the page, the next picture was a week old Ruby coming home for the first time. Ross holding her in his arms as Elsie smiled down at her..........

Walking into the nursery, Charlie quietly closed over the door, not wanting to wake the baby or alert her parents that she was with the child. As she stood by the crib she looked down at the little baby girl smiling up at her. It unhinged her that she was actually awake. Charlie nervously stood beside the crib. She didn't know what possesed her to be in that room. All she could think of was what Grant had done. Just then, as she went to move the teddy beside the baby, a little hand latched onto her finger and gripped it tightly. Charlie felt felt something inside her well up. Looking at the little baby girl, she broke down in tears. What had this little girl done to deserve such a terrible mother like Charlie? It just seemed cruel when she thought of where this baby had come from. Glancing at the baby, her heart melted as she saw her rosey cheeks and ruby lips. Then it hit her.

"Ruby", she said.

But then she stopped herself. She realised whe was becoming attached to the little girl and she couldn't bear it. She couldn't offer her anything. She was fourteen years old. The little girl deserved more. She deserved parents who could love her and take care of her. From the door, Elsie listened to her daughter...Ruby she thought to herself, my granddaughters name is Ruby.

That night, after writing a letter to her parents, Charlie snuck out of the house, as she tried to escape her never ending nightmare..........

A tear escaped Charlie's eye and lined her cheek, as she tried to understand in her own head why she would leave such a precious thing behind. Turning the page the next picture was Ruby's second birthday. The first of her birthdays Charlie ever went to......

Watching from distance, Charlie smiled the little toddler when she saw her face light up as she played with her new toys. Ruby was perched upon Ross's knee smiling at the man she called "dada". Elsie walked up behind Charlie, her breaking at the decision that had been made about Charlie and Ruby's future.

"You know it's not too late. If you want to raise Ruby your father and I will support you in whatever way we can", Elsie said as she placed a gentle hand on her daughters shoulder.

Charlie smiled at her mother and turned back to look at Ruby. She pointed at her daughter.

"But look how happy she is. I can't take that away from her", Charlie smiled as a tear rolled down her cheek. "It's better this way. Ruby's my sister and that's how it's going to stay.

Charlie flipped through another few photos and then stopped at one of her and Ruby at a little league soccer game. Charlie was about twenty years old in the pictureand she was had just picked Ruby up and was holding her in her arms. Smiles were widespread across their faces.........

Stepping out of her car, Charlie stretched her arms. It wasn't often she was able to get away from the police academy, but Ruby was playing in a little league final and she didn't want to miss it. Walking up to the sideline she stood beside her parents. She greeted her mother who gave her a hug. Then turned to her father who was playing the strict authority figure on her.

"Charlie", he simply said with a quick glance.

She never expected much from him. His stern stance towards her was something she was used to. All she did now was wait for the third degree.

"Does the academy know your here?" he said taking his eyes off the game to look at her.

"Yes dad, they do know. See unlike you,I know there's more important things in life besides work", she said, turning her attention back to the game.

Just then she saw her little siser score the winning goal and jump up and down. Then whe the referee blew the whistle, Charlie made her way onto the pitch. Noticing Ruby spot her in the crowd, she topped and watched as the little girl runnin towards her. Dropping to one knee Charlie opened out her arms and Ruby ran into them, wrapping her arms around her big sisters neck. Picking her up, Charlie swung her around, still holding her in her embrace.

"Charlie did you see it, I scored the winnig goal", th little girl said excitedly.

Charlie smiled at her.

"Yeah I did and I'm so proud of you", she said tipping the young girl on the nose.

Just then Elsie walked up and took a quick picture of the pair and smiled..........

Charlie smiled at the picture, remembering the day as if it were only yesterday. She continued flicking through the photo album for about another hour, until finally she drifted off to sleep. Clutching the photo album and the memories close to her chest.