To prevent any confusion, any flashbacks in this chapter will be in italics. Hope you enjoy the new chapter.
Lying in bed Charlie tossed and turned. As she slept she had the same uneasy dream about Grant she'd had a few months ago. Everything was the same. Grant was standing over Ruby's grave promising to take care of her, a sick grin across his face as his eyes seemed to tear into Charlie's soul and just like the first time, she found herself running away in the opposite direction in disgust. Charlie tossed and turned over and over again, so much so that she kicked the covers off the bed until all of a sudden, like an alarm going off, her eyes snapped open and she shot upright in the bed. Wiping the sweat away with the back of her hand she sat there for a minute trying to catch her breath. Turning on the bedside lamp, she climbed out of the bed and pulled on her night gown, opening the door and heading down the hallway towards the kitchen for a glass of water.
As she entered the dining room she flicked on the light and crossed over to the adjoined kitchen. Wlaking over to the sink, she pulled out a glass from the delf rack and filled it with cold water, drinking down half the contents of the glass, she wiped her mouth and emptied the rest down the drain, cleaning the glass and placing it back on the rack. Placing her hands on either side of the sink she gripped it tightly and lowered her. Trying to interpret what exactly her dream meant. The last time she'd had that dream, they had been held hostage in their home by John Doe. Was her mind sub consiously warning her of danger? Or was she reading too much into something that could only be, just a dream.
Just then, Charlie was pulled abruptly out of her thoughts by the sound of Ruby's screams. Bounding out of the kitchen and down the hallway, Charlie sprinted to Ruby's old room and burst through the door to find the teen. tossing about aggressively against the bed, her forehead soaked in sweat. Rushing over to the bed, Charlie grabbed a hold of her daughter's shoulders and tried to restrain her as she tried to sooth Ruby out of her nightmare. But the harder she tried, the more resistant Ruby became until it almost became physically impossible to hold her down. Charlie became more and more worried as Ruby continued to struggle through her dream. Suddenly Ruby's hands became latched around Charlie's wrists
Flinching at the sheer pressure that Ruby was applying, Charlie finally decided that being gentle was not going to calm her daughter. Taking a more firm grip of Ruby's shoulders, Charlie began to shake her to make her come around. As she did so Ruby started mumbling again and Charlie tried to listen to what she was saying.
"No...no please!", Ruby said in a panicked tone, furrowing her brow in her sleep. "Don't hurt Charlie...I'll do it...I'll do it!", she shouted.
Listening to her daughter ramble on Charlie felt a wave of guilt wash over her as she realised that Ruby was dreaming of the day she slashed her wrists. Images of the men that Charlie and her collegues had apprehended, the dirty, dark, old run down building that had been the scene of the crime. The awful way they treated her precious daughter. It was no wonder Ruby was plagued with such terrifying nightmares. Charlie herself understood what it was to have such dreams, for she was haunted by her own horrific ordeal for years after it had happened. Even now she sometimes found herself locked inside a mind game prison with Grant. But watching her own child struggle against months of pain, anguish and terror, mader her own ordeal seem petty.
"Let go of me!", Ruby screamed.
Just then Ruby began to pull at Charlie's arms, trying to free herself. When she could remove them she began to violently pound her fists against her mother's chest, trying to push her away, Completely unaware that the arms trying around her were the protective arms of her mother and not the aggressive arms of the villian in her nightmare.
"Ruby...Ruby!", Charlie shouted, hoping her voice would snap her out of the dream. "Rubes wake up. It's Mum", she said as she grabbed a hold of Ruby's wrists to stop the pounding.
As if like magic, Ruby's eyes sprang open and focused on her captive wrists and the sight sent a wave of fear through her as memories of her real captivity came flooding back. Snatching her arms away from her mother she leaped of the bed and dashed to the far corner of the room. Leaning her back against the corner of the wall she sobbed as she tried desperatly to catch her breath, sliding down along the wall and into a heap on the floor. Bringing her legs up under her chin she wrapped her arms around them and cried her eyes out at what she had just done and about the intensity of the dream.
Charlie watched on in sheer disbelief at what had just happened. Her own daughter had rejected her and was now crying her heart out on the floor. Standing up she made to move across the floor towards Ruby but stopped when she saw her daughter lean further in against the wall away from her. Sensing that Ruby wanted to be alone, Charlie held back her tears as she headed for the door and walked out of the room closing the door behind her as she did so. She stepped forward to the wall on the opposite side of the hallway in front of her and turned her back to it, sliding down until she was seated on the floor facing Ruby's bedroom door...
It had three weeks since fifteen year old Charlie Buckton had returned from her aunts. Three weeks of pain and misery as she dealt with the heart breaking decision that she and her parents had come to about her baby daughter's future. Only it wasn't 'her' daughter anymore, it was Ross and Elsie's. And Ruby was not her daughter, she was now and forever more, her sister. Had the decision been made a year ago when Ruby was born, Charlie would have taken it in her stride, as she felt much, much to young to have a child.
But the year away at her Aunty Michelle's had helped to ease her pain, or at least heal enough for her to see that Ruby was not to blame for what happened to Charlie. She was the good that came from the bad. The blessing in the disguise so to speak. And realising this, made Charlie realise how much she truly loved her daughter and how much she wanted to be there for her. To raise her, to protect her, to care for her. To be a proper mother to her. Because that's what Ruby deserved.
However one year, proved to be one too many and although Charlie was emotionally prepared to take resposibility for her child. She was emotionally ready to see her own daughter bond with her own parents. It tore her apart to see Ruby so attached to her own mother and father. Her anguish was made worse by the fact Ruby reacted badly to the stranger Charlie now was to her. Any chance of bonding with baby Ruby as her mother was now long gone. As far as the child was concerned, Ross and Elsie were her parents.
"Charlie, your father and I are going out to do the grocery shopping. Will you keep and eye on Ruby please?", Elsie asked as she put on her earrings.
"Uhh...um...yeah I guess", Charlie hesitated as the idea of being left alone with Ruby scared her.
"Don't worry. She's asleep. You'll be fine", Elsie said giving her daughter an encouraging squeeze on the shoulder.
A couple of hours had passed and Charlie was busying herself with biology homework, catching up on what she had missed from the first couple of months of the school year while she was away at her Aunty Michelle's. At times it felt like a never ending up hill struggle, but she was glad of the distraction. It stopped her from thinking too much about everything that had gone on in her life over the last year which was something she really appreciated. Just as she was about to get stuck into another chapter of her text book, the soft cries of a baby rang out from down the hallway. Charlie put down her pen and stopped what she was doing, hoping that the baby would stop so she wouldn't have to tend to her.
But the crying continued and with no other option, Charlie stood up from her seat and made her way down the hall towards the baby's room. Charlie felt panicky as she thought about the last time she had been alone with Ruby before she ran away. The baby had latched onto her finger and smiled at her. She remembered it well because it reminded her of the intense feelings of motherly love she felt for Ruby at that time and it scared her. What if it happened again? Could she really continue on pretending to be her older sister? It wasn't fair that she had to fight all these feelings and make all these tough decisions. She was only fifteen years old, she should be thinking about clothes and parties. Not what kind of a relationship she wanted with her child.
Taking a few deep breaths, Charlie opened the door and stepped inside to the piercing screams of the baby who seemed to be in a great deal of distress. Walking over to the cot, Charlie atempted to sooth the baby by stroking her hand and stomach, but it didn't work. Picking Ruby up she and leaning her against her shoulder she swayed back and forth, rocking the child as she did so. But baby Ruby continued to kick against Charlie's embrace. And then screamed the one word that tore through Charlie's hard like a knife.
"Mama", the baby screamed through her tears.
Feeling completely and utterly rejected by her own child, Charlie felt the tears wll up in her eyes as Ruby continued to struggle against. Her tiny arms and legs kicking pounding against Charlie's body. With all atempts to sooth the child failing, Charlie quickly placed the child back in the cot and ran out of the room, closing the door behind her. But even with the door shut, she could still hear the piercing scream rang out through the house. But Charlie couldn't go back in. She couldn't deal with being rejected by Ruby. It hurt too much. Taking a step forward to the far wall she turned her back to it and slid down along it until she was in a sitting postion. Staring at Ruby's bedroom door as tears fell freely down her cheek...
A couple of minutes had passed, and feeling dejected by the who ordeal, Charlie lifted herself up off the floor and made her way back down the hallway towards her own room. Walking into the room, she made her way over to her old dressing table and sat down. Taking in all the old photos that still adorned her mirror. she narrowed her eyes on one photo that was unfamiliar to her. It was a picture of Ruby when she was almost two years old gazing into Charlie's eyes with a big smile as the older girl held her tight in her arms. It was taken around the time that Ruby had started to reconnect with Charlie and they had begun to bond. Turning the picture over, Charlie noticed a note on the back of the photo in her mother's handwriting. She slowly began to read it toher self "One day, Ruby will know her mother, and love her unconditionally".
Charlie smiled at the note on the back of the photo. Elsie always knew exactly what Charlie was thinking and feeling and she always knew what to say to put her mind at ease. Even now. As she placed the photo back down on the dresser, she was startled when she caught the reflection of Ruby in the mirror standing in the doorway. Turning around she saw the red eyed teen gazing at her looking very uneasy and rubbing her wrists until they were rubbed raw.
"Ruby", Charlie said as she stood up and walked over to the teen, taking a hold of her daughter's hands to stop her from wringing her wrists.
"I'm...I'm sorry Mum", Ruby said through her tears. "I didin't...I didn't mean to push you away. It's just...when I saw you holding onto my arms I freaked out. I fel...I felt like I was being hel caaptive and I just...snapped" she finished.
"Oh God...Rubes I'm so sorry. I didn't...I didn't think", Charlie replied as she flung her arms around the younger Buckton and tried to comprehend what she had just done.
Feeling Charlie's arm wrap around her and pull her close, Ruby clung to her and instanly began to feel safe again. As they pulled apart Charlie looked down and noticed Ruby's still healing scars were red and sore from her incessant rubbing. Taking her daughter by the hand, she lead her down to the kitchen and walked over to the kitchen cabinat and removed the first aid kit. Sitting down at the table, Charlie rubbed aloe vera gel on Ruby's wrists to sooth the stinging pain and then then gently wrapped a bandage around them to stop them from rubbing. And once they were finished they curled up on the couch and flicked on the t.v. Falling asleep to Judy Garland singing 'Somewhere Over The Rainbow'.
