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Chapter 08
"So you are cheating on Jeri..." He said matter of factly as he drove off.
"How long already? And why with her, Maura? What is it on her that is drawing you back to her again?" He wanted to know while he paid attention on the traffic.
Maura tightened her jaw at his words and shook her head, still staring straight.
"It's not cheating. We are not cheating. I am not married yet...god Stephen!" She said annoyed and then rubbed the space between her nose. She sighed loudly.
"I told you I loved her...Why you didn't believe me...I will never know..."
"But...she's a hooker, no?" He asked confused and let a hand ran through his short blonde hair.
"Maura, forget her. There is no way you ever can be with her. Even if you'd tell father that you are a lesbian, he would never approve Jane." Stephen said to his sister.
Maura finally looked at her brother.
"How do you know he wouldn't approve her! If I said that I loved her more than anything...why wouldn't he approve of her? There is nothing wrong with her. She drop dead gorgeous and when I touch her...my whole body feels like it comes alive. I can't even explain how wonderful it feels..."
"I can tell you exactly why he won't approve her. Because she is a Rizzoli." Stephen said and stared at the street. He shook his head and silenced for the rest of the drive. As they finally arrived her got out of the car and entered the house. He couldn't believe his sister sometimes.
Maura managed to make it into the house and she moved into the large living room and dropped to the couch. She pulled out her phone and looked at Jane's number. She stared at it for a long time before she stood and moved down the hall slowly, but steadily. She knocked on her father's office door. Her hands trembled and she waited for him to answer. She was done lying. She needed to be who she was and that meant...with Jane.
"Come on in." A voice said from inside.
Doyle was sitting behind his big desk in his office. He was busy doing his book keeping but as he saw it was Maura, he smiled. She was still his little Angel.
"Maura, darling, how can I help you?" He asked and laid his pen aside, paying full attention to his daughter now.
Maura took a deep breath and moved into the room. She gave him one of her best charming smiles that always made his heart just too to mush. She moved into the room and came stand in front of his desk.
"Book keeping again huh?" She said absently and fidgeting a bit. She swallowed as he gave her a curious look. She smiled again and licked her lips.
"Humm so...how mad would you be if I decided to call the wedding off? I just...I...well...I don't want to get married..."
He leaned back in his chair and studied his daughter. There was a surprised expression written over his face.
"Call off the wedding?" He repeated and brought his hands in his lap.
"Why would you wanna do that, darling? Jeri is a very good man." He pointed out.
"Well daddy...I just don't love him. Not like a good girl should. I mean you should get married when you are in love, right? Like you and mom," she said, smiling sweetly and then came around the desk to fall into his lap. She was adorable even when she was confusing him.
He placed an arm on her back when she fell into his lap.
"You don't love him? When did that happen? I've always been under the impression that you love him." Doyle pointed out.
"Are you in love with someone else?" He then asked. There was something about the way she had expressed herself that made him wonder.
Here was the tie breaker. She nodded to him and he saw a flicker of something within her eyes...of happiness...or genuine love. She smiled.
"Yes...very much so. Been in love with her for over ten years," she said before she even realized she had said the word of 'her.'
"Her?" He asked her and now looked at her puzzled.
"A woman? Are you referring to a woman? Maura, but you..you are straight, aren't you?" He asked his daughter. He didn't know how to react. This was clearly a shock to him.
"Who is she?" He then wanted to know.
Maura never looked away from her father. She was not afraid of him and they had always shared everything...but this.
"No...I have been a lesbian for as long as I could understand what it was. I was just marrying Jeri because it was what you wanted...but daddy, it's not what I want. I want her...I always have. Her name is Jane..."
"Jane?" He repeated the name. He only knew one Jane and that was Jane Rizzoli. Doyle had a good memory.
"It's the first time you mention a Jane, Maura." He pointed out and looked at her.
"Have I met this...Jane?" Doyle wanted to know.
Maura tried to remember if he had even met Jane...and she knew her farther and one of the best minds of anyone she had ever met.
"I know and I should have back when I first met her at the nightclub...but I didn't know how to tell you daddy. I didn't want you to hate me. I don't know if you have ever met her..."
Now he was clearly confused. Maura had said she knew that woman for ten years but she didn't know if he had met her.
"So she isn't one of your friends that were at the engagement party or at any party you have hosted." Doyle said and his brows rose.
"What is her full name?" He asked her.
"No, not technically," she said and then swallowed as he asked for the full name of the woman. She sucked in a deep breath and said Jane's full name as she let out the breath.
"Jane Rizzoli," she said and her brow creased in worry. This was the true deal breaker. He would either yell at her, make her never see Jane again, hunt the woman down, or a number of other things.
He frowned as Maura mentioned her name. Jane Rizzoli.
"No." He simply said and got up, pushing Maura off his lap in the process. He walked over to a filing cabinet and got out a rather thick folder.
Over the last 10 years he had hired spies that would always have an eye on Jane over the years. After all Jane could have wanted revenge for the death of her father and Doyle wanted to be prepared for that. He walked over to his desk again and handed Maura the file.
"She is not right for you. I doubt you know everything about her." He pointed out. In the file were plenty of reports and pictures of Jane that showed her over the last years. From age 16 until now. It were rather random pictures, showing Jane in a café, at the foster come, photos the clinic had taken from the Italian girl, at work, grocery shopping, etc.
"Did you know your Jane tried to commit suicide three times? Did you know she was in a mental institution because of that for almost a year? Did you know that your Jane worked as stripper when she was twenty? Or did she tell you that she did drugs for a while? I bet she didn't. How about...that she was engaged with 24? It ended badly. Oh I should mention that was her third suicide attempt... With 25 she joined an escort service...and now with 26 she is still working there, Maura. Okay, she works also as a waitress as far as I know...but it's just a matter of time until she heads for the gutter again. And I won't let her pull you down with her." He said in a stern voice.
The look in his daughter's eyes killed him. There was pain and anger, but the pain was the worst part...that and the tears that soon started to fall. Maura slammed the file shut.
"I didn't need to know this daddy! And know it, doesn't change how I feel. When you love someone...you just do. Daddy...I don't want to know anymore." Maura moved from around the desk and started to head to the door.
"If she wants me...then I am going to keep her. I hope that you will still love me...because I don't want to loose you, but I can't loose where my heart feels happy..."
He looked at his daughter emotionless.
"You know I just want what's best for you. And that woman...Jane Rizzoli...just isn't right for you. Read through her file, Maura." Doyle said as watched her heading to the door.
"Maura, you know I will always love you but...I don't wanna see you get hurt." Doyle said to his daughter.
"I know daddy, but I don't want to read that file. I don't want it to destroy what I love...and if I get hurt it will be my decision...not a file or yours. Please understand, please," she said softly and wiped her cheek from the tears that had fallen. She looked into his eyes for a long time before she moved out of his office.
An hour later she was at the escort service and moving into the building from parking her car. She walked up to the front desk and all but demanded to see a Jane Rizzoli. Her heart pounded inside her breast.
The girl at the desk looked at Maura and raised a brow.
"We don't have any lady with that name." She told her and chewed on her gum, eying the blonde up and down.
"Can you give a description? I can narrow the search down..." She said and placed her fingers on her keyboard, ready to type.
"Tall, very good body, no excellent body, toned, flat stomach, dark brown hair and rich chocolate eyes. Jane...Jane Rizzoli," she said again and slammed her hands down on the counter slightly above the woman. She breathed deeply. The blonde was very attractive and for all this girl knew, she was a new worker or a client.
The girl kept chewing her gum while she typed some of the info in the computer. She sighed and leaned back.
"Still 60. You know her exact age? Her height? Weight? Her measurements? Long hair, short hair? Anything I can use to narrow it down even more?" She asked Maura.
"Long hair, like over 5' 7'', 26, Oh god really a weight...? She weighs nearly nothing...the woman is a goddess...she has no body fat at all. She is soo beautiful," she said even if she knew that it wasn't going to help with finding her.
"I need to know where she is...please...just tell me," she said almost starting to talk louder with more desperation.
"Let's see..." The girl said and typed some of the info into her computer. "Eight left." She said and clicked at the head-shots of these eight woman. She then turned her screen in Maura's direction.
"Any of these your Jane?" She asked. Jane's picture would appear under the name Jade Benes.
"That one!" Maura said, pointing at the one labeled Jade Benes. She breathed deeper.
"Where is she...?" Once she got the address of the restaurant where Jane was Maura drove to it, breaking the speed limit several times in order to get there.
She moved into the restaurant once she was there and looked for Jane. Finally she spotted and and thought nothing of it but to march right over to the table.
"Jane...come with me now. I am not kidding," she said forcefully.
Jane looked up at Maura, as did the other men at the table. How did Maura know where she was! This was embarrassing, Jane thought - she'd loose this client probably. She cleared her voice.
"Excuse me, darling." Jane said to the man sitting next to her, kissed his cheek and rose from her table. She gave Maura a look and walked with her out of the view of these men.
"Maura! What are you doing here? How do you even know where I am?"
"That doesn't matter, Jane. You are coming with me. I won't have you doing this...no," she said and then grabbed Jane's upper arm and started to pull her toward the front of the restaurant. She was angry, but she was more afraid than anything. She wasn't giving Jane up...not after she had had her for the first time and it was real and genuine. She wasn't going to let this go...and she needed her father to see that.
"Maura." Jane complained as she was pulled behind her.
"What is your problem? I am working. You can't just interrupt me. I told you I was busy on Tuesdays." Jane said somewhat desperate.
"If you need it so urgently...I can come by after I am done here," Jane offered her.
"It's not just that...he knows...my father knows. I don't want him to send someone after you and I never see you again," she said as they reached the door. Maura pulled Jane outside and turned to her once they had some privacy.
"Please...just come with me. Talk to him...tell him that you will be faithful to me...that you won't try to kill yourself anymore and that you love me...please Jane..."
"What!" Jane asked, not knowing what Maura was talking about.
"Why would your father be after me? I didn't do a thing." Jane said and let a hand ran through her dark hair.
"And telling him I will be faithful to you? Why should I do that? I don't understand, Maura. What's going on?" The brunette wanted to know. "I don't understand."
"He's been watching you for the past ten years. He knows everything you have done...where you have been, who you have been with...god Jane...I didn't want to know that you had tried to take your own life more than once...that you had a failed engagement...I didn't want to know because I wasn't there to help you through those things." Maura finally let go of Jane and just looked at her. Maura's pretty face was scared and Jane had never seen her like this before.
Jane looked into her eyes as Maura said all that. She had been watched for the last ten years. Jane didn't do anything in those ten years she was proud of, but it all was a part of her. She had thought she was the only one who knew about all her mistakes but it seemed like someone kept record of all her mistakes.
"If your father wants to kill me - let him. I failed three times. I'm a complete failure. I always have been...my pops had been right."
Jane's words broke Maura and she grabbed her hard and pulled her against her. She shook her head and cried. Her body trembled as she held the other woman.
"Don't you ever say that Jane. You are not a failure...you are mine...I-I have been in love with you since I first saw you...and now I have you and you are never going to leave me. Please, Jane...don't leave me. If you do, I have nothing left...nothing..."
Jane wrapped one arm around Maura as she pulled her close and cried against her. Funny, how the blonde classified nothing. She would still have her home, her family, her money, all her belongings. Maura had no idea how it was to have nothing.
Jane closed her eyes as the woman cried against her. It's been ages Jane had body contact like that. Such a harmless hug but so meaningful. Jane missed that - the simple things in life.
"You wouldn't say that if you knew everything about me." Jane whispered.
"I would say that if I knew you had murdered someone. You just don't get it Jane," Maura said, still holding the woman close.
"I love you. I have loved you since I first saw you walk into that club. I am just not very good at showing it…the right way. I was used to getting whatever I want. I grew up. I understand that I can't. But in this moment…in this way…I want you no matter what your past is like. It's you…not your past that I want." Maura pulled back just enough so that she could look into Jane's face before she leaned in and kissed her. The kiss was rich with need and even richer with passion. The blonde just needed her.
"I need my father to understand…"
Jane kissed the blonde back and then looked into her eyes.
"Maura..." Jane said and took her hand, touched about Maura's words. "...I am not sure I am capable of loving someone like I used to." The Italian girl said honestly and held the eye contact with her.
"You don't have to...just let me keep you safe...let me love you...like you deserve to be loved. In time, you will understand again...and then you will be able to love me," she said, swallowing and staring into Jane's beautiful eyes. She touched the woman's cheek with her free hand.
"I just want to keep you...forever and nothing bad will ever happen to you again. You don't need to work like this...not ever again," she said gently.
"What if... I am never able to love you? What then?" Jane asked worried.
"I don't like taking advantage of people and I would feel like I would take advantage of you if I'd agree." The Italian girl told her honestly and sighed. She let go of Maura and sat down on the stairs.
"Maura, I am such a...fucked up person, you have no idea what you are getting into."
Maura knelt before Jane and took both of her hands within her own. She looked into the woman's eyes and smiled softly.
"You do love me...what we had in the hotel room...it wasn't an act...that kind of connection from you between us...that is real. You just don't understand that that kind of love is the right kind." She let go of Jane's hands and cupped her cheeks.
"What you did in the past doesn't even matter to me. Jane look how I was...I was a total slut. I was a mess of a kid...I am not like that now. I understand things so much better and so will you...you just need to be given that chance."
Jane sighed and looked at the ground as Maura was talking. When she finished she looked up into her eyes again.
"Nobody cared so much about me like you do..." She then whispered and squeezed her hand gently. She then nodded.
"Okay...I will try..try to live a different life." The brunette answered. Her life had been fucked up so far and she thought that maybe she had always just needed a guidance. As child and teen her father had been her guidance and wasn't allowed to make decisions on her own...
Maura smiled and stood, bringing Jane up with her.
"That's all I ask, Jane," she said, holding her hands as she lead the woman back to her car. Maura opened the door and ushered Jane in.
"No more escort services...Jane...no more," she said softly as she shut the door. She moved around the front of the car and got into the driver's side.
TBC
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