Author's Note: As always, I've enjoyed posting this story. I really appreciate the positive reviews. Thanks for reading!

The sun glinted, bright and strong, off the edge of the compass as he squinted through the eyepiece. It would prove to be another hot day.

"You've been dreaming about that starship of yours again, haven't you?" Eline's voice came from behind him, soft and low.

"I'm just charting the progress of the sun." He sighed, and adjusted the compass. "Might give a clue to the cause of the draught."

Her hand rubbed across his shoulders. "I think you're still trying to figure out where you are," she said as she stepped around beside him. "Where that ship of yours is, how to get back to that life." She sat down with him on the bench.

He lowered the compass, and held very still for a moment, letting her words sink in. Then he took a deep breath. "The memory is five years old now. But it's still inside me," he murmured, staring vacantly ahead, thinking of that other life, that ship, those people.

"Was your life there so much better than this?" He shifted uncomfortably. "So much more gratifying?" He sighed heavily. "So much more fulfilling that you cling to it with such stubbornness."

"Eline-" He turned his face to hers.

"Must have been extraordinary..." Her eyes were so intense. "But never, in all the stories you've told me, have you mentioned anyone who loved you as I do."

He looked away, sighed again. "It was real. It was as real as this." His eyes were stinging, and he blinked quickly to keep the tears from forming. "And you can't expect me to forget a lifetime spent there."

"Yes, I can."

He returned his gaze to her, surprised at her words.

She shook her head. "I've been patient, Kamin. For five years I've shared you with that other life. I've listened. I've tried to understand. And I have waited. When do I get you back?"

He nodded. "I know. I know," he said, turning back to her and wrapping his arm around her shoulders, his hand resting against her neck. "It- it has been hard on you."

She took his other hand in hers. "When will you let go?" she whispered as she ran her fingers over his. "When will you start living this life?" He frowned and drew his arm from around her, not wanting to hear what she was saying. "When will we start a family?"

They were questions he could not face.

"Kamin, Eline, good morning." The voice belonged to Batai, and Kamin quickly stood, grateful for the interruption.

"Good morning, Batai."

"Well, are you ready? The administrator's already arrived." He glanced toward the village courtyard.

"Yes," Kamin answered, then looked down at Eline. "Will you come along?"

"No. Thank you," she said steadily. "You do very well on your own." And she got up and walked into the house.

Batai could sense that there was something wrong between them. "She always was strong minded," he glanced at Kamin, "even as a child."

"It's not her fault," he replied tiredly. "These past few years have been very difficult for her."

Batai put an arm around his friend's shoulder. "And for you, I think."

It had been difficult. All those mornings waking up there instead of on the Enterprise. Long days staring into the sky, wondering which sun lit that world.

And the nights, the stars so unfamiliar. And learning to live with a woman who seemed to know him better than he knew himself.

But now, what he wouldn't give to have those years back. To be with her, and hold her. He wanted her here, with him, wanted to tell her how frightened he was of coming back to this life, these people.

He leaned forward, resting his forehead against the cool surface of the viewport. They were gone. Forever. And he felt lost. He had not hurt like this since the day Batai came running into the village courtyard.

He was out of breath, although the distance from their house was not far.

"Father?" he called even before he reached him.

Kamin looked away from the administrator. "What is it?"

"It's Mother. Hurry."

He ran, following his son back through the winding passages to their home.

Eline was in the living room, the doctor beside her, holding her hand.

"Doctor?" Kamin asked glancing at the man quickly before turning his gaze toward his wife.

The doctor stood. "Kamin, I'm sorry," he said quietly, touching him gently on the arm. He shook his head slightly.

Slowly, Kamin knelt beside Eline, Batai sitting down on the edge of the cushions behind him.

She looked up at her husband. "See... I go to any lengths to get your attention."

"You always did have a flare for the dramatic," he said, his breathing deep and labored.

Eline's eyes drifted past him. "Doctor. Thank you." She raised her hand in a slight wave, letting him know it was all right for him to go. Then she reached out and Batai took hold of her hand. She smiled faintly at her son. "Leave us alone for a moment. I need to talk to my husband."

Silently, Batai left.

"Did you show the... administrator... your evidence?" she asked haltingly, her voice growing weaker.

"I didn't have to. They already knew."

"So... he won't throw you... off the council."

"No," he answered, shaking his head.

"Good." A smile spread across her face, the same smile he'd first seen all those years ago when he'd opened his eyes and she'd been there. She touched him softly on the cheek, and their eyes held to each other, everything passing between them, the years, the love. "Remember... put your shoes away."

"I promise," he whispered. So much he wanted to tell her, but that was all he could manage.

She lowered her hand, her eyes closing, a single tear running down her face. And she was gone. For a moment, he didn't move, just stared at her. And then, slowly, he lowered his head to her chest and cried.

He hadn't realized that he'd sat down next to the viewport, but that's where Beverly Crusher found him, his head still leaning against it, his shoulders shaking violently with each sob. She knelt beside him, drew his body into her arms. "Shh, Jean-Luc. I'm here."

He continued to cry, too tired and frightened to even be embarrassed by the situation. And he held to her as if she were Eline.

~vVv~

Crusher handed him a cup of tea, and he accepted it. "Thank you," he whispered, not yet trusting his voice.

She sat down on the sofa beside him, her hand resting on his back. "You're welcome."

He took a long sip, letting the heat of the liquid warm him. Then he looked up into Crusher's eyes. "I'm... I'm not sure what to say."

"You don't have to say anything unless you want to." She rubbed her hand up over his shoulder. "I understand what you're feeling."

He took in a shuddering breath, let it out slowly. "I miss them."

"I know."

"I can't..." He squeezed his eyes closed, then opened them. "I can't let them go. I don't want to let them go. One minute I'm afraid that I'll forget them, and the next, I'm afraid that I'll never forget them."

"You don't have to forget them, Jean-Luc. That would be like me forgetting Jack."

She felt his body tense beside her, and he set his cup down on the table as the tension dissipated into trembling. She wrapped her arm around his shoulder and held him tightly.

"I want..." he began.

"What?"

"I want to remember them. But they're with me always, and I... I can't live both lives at once."

"No. You can't. You have to come back to this life, Jean-Luc. You have to tell them goodbye."

He shook his head. "I don't think I can."

~vVv~

She stayed with him the rest of the day, talking, making sure he ate a proper lunch, took a nap. And after he awakened and dressed, she suggested they take a walk.

"Where are we going?" he asked as he followed a step behind her.

"You'll see."

"Beverly, if you're taking me to Sickbay-"

"I'm not. Just be patient."

And then, somehow, he knew where they were going, and he was silent the rest of the way.

~vVv~

They stood in front of the portal to Holodeck Three. "I talked to Geordi," Crusher explained quietly. "From your descriptions, and from the probe's images, he was able to program what's beyond those doors."

"Ressick," Picard breathed.

"As close to it as we could possibly get."

He swallowed. "And they're in there?"

"Yes. Geordi says they are."

He took a step back, and she was immediately at his side, her hand on his arm.

"You don't have to go in there. I just thought... Well, after Jack died, I had all his personal logs to listen to. I thought you might like to have this." She reached out and keyed the program into the control panel. The portal slid open, and Ressick lay before him.

He stepped inside, hesitated, looked back over his shoulder at the doctor.

"Beverly..."

She smiled. "I'll be right out here, Jean-Luc. Waiting for you."

And the doors closed behind him.

~vVv~

It didn't look exactly like Ressick, but it was close enough. The tree was there, in the middle of the courtyard, and there were even people milling about.

Slowly, apprehensively, he followed the passages that led to his house. He wondered how old they would be, what images LaForge had used. And yet, it really wouldn't make any difference. Just as long as they were there.

He stopped at the edge of the patio. It was as he remembered it. The stairs to the roof, his telescope, the bench beside the door.

And as he was staring at it, the door opened, and Eline was there, young, vibrant.

"It's about time," she scolded gently as she walked over and took hold of his arm. "We've all been waiting for you." She pulled him toward the door. "My soup isn't good if it gets cold."

They stepped inside. It was a little different there, but not much. They were sitting around the table. All of them. Meribor, Danic, Kamie. And both Batais, his son and his friend. It was like a dream, all mixed up, but good all the same.

"Well, sit down." Eline pushed him toward an empty chair, and he sat. She settled in the chair next to him.

"It's about time the guest of honor arrived," the elder Batai laughed from the opposite end of the table.

"Guest of honor?" Picard questioned.

"Go get it, Kamie," Meribor whispered to her son, sending him off toward the kitchen.

A moment later the child returned, holding a cake in his hand. Eline took it from him and set it on the table. There were candles on it.

Picard smiled. "I didn't know it was my birthday."

"It's not, dear," Eline informed him as she lit the candles.

"But if it's not my birthday..."

"It's a party, Father," Batai said, "just enjoy it."

"There." Eline finished lighting the candles. "Now, before you blow them out, is there anything you'd like to say?"

And suddenly, he understood. "Yes, yes there is." He looked down at the end of the table. "Batai, from the first day I met you, you have been my friend. You taught me how to weave iron, how to cultivate a garden, how to keep hope alive in the face of draught. You gave me a fine name, and a good memory to pass on to my son. Danic, I couldn't have asked for a better son-in-law. You are loving and kind to my daughter, and I thank you. Meribor... we talked one time of the things I'd filled your head with, star charts and soil samples and the like. But I never told you how much you filled my heart, with your smiles, your eagerness to learn, your love." He looked over at his son. "And Batai, it's not what profession you choose that's important. It's who you are. And I'm proud of you. Always remember that." He smiled at the child sitting in his uncle's lap. "And you, Kamie, you're the one who has to dream for us, all right?" His grandson nodded.

Picard felt Eline's hand on his shoulder. "You can blow the candles out now."

He turned toward her. "No, I can't. Not yet." He touched her hair, her cheek. "When I... when I opened my eyes and saw you, I never knew how much you would mean to me. But you... you are this life. I love you, Eline." He kissed her tenderly.

And then Kamie leaned forward, and blew the candles out, and the party began around them. And after they'd eaten and talked and laughed for what seemed like hours, they began to drift away. Danic and Meribor and Kamie went home. Batai and his namesake went for a walk. And he and Eline were left alone.

He stared over at her. "I could stay."

She shook her head. "You can't."

"I could come and visit."

She smiled. "Maybe someday." She got up from the table and extended her hand toward him. He took it.

Together they walked to the door, and he reached up and pressed the panel that opened it. He looked at her. "I have to say goodbye now."

"I know." She touched her hand to his cheek. "Remember, my love, we live in you. So you must continue to live."

He nodded, blinked back the tears in his eyes. "I will carry you with me always." And he would. Like the box that held his flute, his soul would hold them.

"Computer." He gazed at her a moment longer, and then closed his eyes. "End program."

~vVv~

Just as she'd promised, Crusher was waiting for him when he emerged from the holodeck. She didn't say anything until he smiled, and then she wrapped her arms around him and whispered in his ear.

"Welcome home, Jean-Luc."

~The End~