Thank you for the reviews... this chapter is a little higher ranked than the rest of the chapters... but it wasn't enought for M... so be aware... :)

well here you go.. enjoy!


Chapter 5

SPOV

I slowly shut the door and put my back against it. My mind was racing. "He kissed me," I thought, "on the first date… is that legal?"

While I was kissing Christian, I thought of Chad. The way Christian was kissing me, reminded me of the good old times when Chad was still here… with me. I liked Christian, but I loved Chad. I looked on my left hand and saw the ring he had given me to symbolize our engagement. He was perfect; and Christian just couldn't compare to the love of my life. He was sweet, I will admit, but Chad…. he was just… the one for me. I went into my bedroom and just sat on my bed. Chad's clothes that he wore the day we went to the fair, was still lying on the floor; untouched and unmoved. I grabbed his shirt and just held it near my heart. It smelt of him. I took off my shirt and put his on me. I felt so close to him, but his soul and body was so far away. I went under the covers and drifted into a soundless sleep.

I was in another world. I was running in a field of tall grass. In the distance I could see someone standing under a tall oak tree. I ran faster toward the tree. When I could finally make out what the person looked like… it was Chad. I ran faster and faster until I was in his arms crying. "Chad! I thought I'd lost you."

"I'm right here babe." He replied.

I let go and just looked at him. My tears were flowing down my cheeks and splashing on the ground. Chad's hand came near my face and wiped my wondering tears off of my face. He held my face with both hands. He leaned in and kissed my forehead, then my cheek, then my other cheek, and finally my nose. Then he just looked at me. His eyes fluttered from my eyes to my lips. He leaned in and kissed me lightly. It was so nice being able to feel his lips again. When he backed off, I started crying even more. Then he pulled me into him and kissed me so passionately. His lips were so inviting and warm. His hands were on my waist pulling me closer to him. My hands were still glued to my side. I tried to move them but it was like they were immobile. He moved his hands from my waist to the back of my neck. I was still crying but they were more tears of happiness. Then he slowly pulled away. With his thumbs he wiped a lonely tear that happened to fall from my eye. "Sonny, I love you sooo much."

"I love you too Chad."

I was so hurt, and I could see that he was too. He was wearing a red flannel shirt that I loved on him .I moved my hands and gripped onto his shirt. He looked at me so lovingly. I unbuttoned one button, then another, until his chest was fully exposed. He willingly slipped the shirt off of his shoulders and let it fall to the ground. I grabbed his neck and brought him to me. I kissed him and my hands were lingering all over his chest. He suddenly picked me up and brought me to the ground with him. He was on top of me and kissing my neck. I wrapped my legs around him and just hugged him. He came up and just looked at me. I grabbed his face and kissed him again. Kissing him reminded me of the old times. "I love you." I said

"I love you, too love."

LOVE? He never used to call me, love. I pushed him off of me and the face I had seen only 5 seconds ago wasn't there. It was Christian. Chad had disappeared and Christian popped up.

I sat up in bed and panted. I turned and looked at the time, 8:07 am. Ugh! I stood up and walked toward the kitchen when I heard the doorbell. I walked toward the door and looked through the peep hole. I couldn't see anyone there. I opened the door and there was a vase full of flowers sitting on my mat. I picked them up and shut the door. There was a note… it read:

Dear Allison, but goes by Sonny,

Roses are red, violets are blue

I hope you like these, I bought them for you.

I know… that was very cheesy, but I really loved the time that we spent together last night. Maybe we can go out for breakfast today. I should be at the door by 9:00. Till then my love…

Christian

The roses were lovely, but I didn't know if I really wanted to go out with him again. I'm not one who stands people up so I went with my gut and started to get ready.

I looked at the clock and it read 8:59. I walked toward the door and looked through the peep hole and there he was, leaning on the door. When I opened it he was smiling at me. "I'm guessing you got my note." He said

"Yes I did. Thank you for the flowers."

"You're welcome love." He said while leaning in to kiss me. I turned my head and let him kiss my cheek.

His face looked so confused. "Did I do something wrong last night?"

"No… it's not you… it's me."

"Wow. Hmm. I don't know what to say to that. Well, I guess I should just go so that you can have some alone time. Bye Sonny."

He turned around and walked down the hall. I was just standing there starstruck. I got my senses together and ran after him. The elevator door was closing with him inside. I luckily got there to stop the elevator. He looked up and saw me standing there. I walked into the elevator and looked at him. The door slowly closed. "Where are you going?" I asked

"Anywhere but here. I really can't take another girl stomping on my heart. I have been hurt too many times for it to happen again."

I was still standing there staring at him. I slowly moved toward him so I was standing right in front of him. "Look at me…" I said.

His head slowly moved so that his eyes were looking into mine. My heart said don't do it… but my gut said do it. I again went with my gut and kissed him. When I pulled back, he was still looking at me. He grabbed my face and I noticed a tear dripping down his cheek. He pulled me to him and he kissed me so lovingly. Instead of pushing him off, I contributed and kissed him back. Suddenly the door dinged and he pushed the button for the top floor and the elevator went back up. He looked at me again. I put my hands on the back of his neck and jumped up so that he could catch me. While he was holding me, he turned around so that my back was against the elevator wall. He threw himself onto me, kissing my lips, then my neck, and back to my lips again. When he was kissing my neck, I didn't know what to do. I decided to just let him do his thing. He moved down from my neck to my shoulder. The door dinged again, and instead of hitting the ground floor, he hit the floor number that I lived on. I knew inside that this wasn't going to end well. He put me back down and just looked at me. I could see in his eyes that my fear was his reality. He quickly took his shirt off and just stood over me. All I could look at was his nicely toned body. Ding!

The door slowly opened and he grabbed my hand. He led me to my door. Then he gave me the look that I knew oh so well. I reached into my back pocket and grabbed my key. He grabbed it from me and opened the door. When we were both inside and the door was shut. It was like an animal came out of him. He grabbed me and picked me up. I couldn't see where he was going but from what I could guess, he was taking me to my room. And sure enough, I was right. When we reached my room, he shut the door. He carefully put me on the bed so that I was looking straight at him. He was taking off his shoes and socks. Oh no! With his pants still on, he climbed on top of me so that he was lying on top of me. He kissed my neck and shoulder again. I looked down at my shirt, "Shit! I had to put on a buttoned shirt." I thought.

He unbuttoned one, then another, then another, until my undershirt was visible. Thank God for the undershirt. But that didn't stop him. He pulled that off of me as well. I didn't know what to do. He was so hurt that if I would've stopped him he probably would've left again. And I'm not one to hurt someone more than they already are. My black laced bra was the only thing on my upper body. As you can guess, he was taking my pants off. My heart was racing, and not the good kind. When Chad made love to me, it wasn't scary for me… this on the other hand was scaring me. But I felt his pain so I wasn't going to stop him. After I was totally naked, he was just standing there staring at me. I could see that he was enjoying himself. When he took his pants off, I couldn't look at him. I just let him do what he wanted to do.

When everything was done, he fell asleep. "Well shit." I whispered to myself.

I felt so disgusted with myself. I feel as if I just cheated on Chad. But he told me to move on. So I did. But it still feels so wrong. I put my clothes back on and went into the bathroom. When I looked into the mirror, I notices two hickey's on my neck. "SHIT!" I said probably a little too loud. When I was searching through the cabinet for some cover up, I noticed a few pregnancy tests that my mom gave me just in case I needed one. I looked back at Christian and then shut the door. I took the test.

3 minutes later after letting it figure out if I was pregnant or not, I flipped it over. I held it upside down with my eyes closed. I quickly flipped it over and slowly opened my eyes. This is what I saw…


There it is! :) if you could please review... i would really appreciate it :) i will hopefully get the next chapter up soon... :)