FIVE
"JORDAN, OVER HERE!"
I could see Jane through the glass partition at one of the library's tables, waving me over. She had books stacked all around her…a bit of a makeshift castle. I smiled, swerving into the alcove and setting my lunch platter next to her sack lunch. On the menu that day? Spicy chicken sandwiches with coleslaw…the coleslaw was watery and the sandwich was bland.
"So I got some books together that I was interested in —I mean, I've read most of them, but for a book report that could only help us, right?" She had such a nice smile…so easy, so real.
"A book report? Is that what we're supposed to do?" I grabbed my sandwich and held it in my far hand, pushing the tray away.
"Yeah. I was thinking Beowulf would be a safe choice, seeing as we had to read that last year, although I'm sure we won't be the only ones using that path of logic—"
"Uh —wait. Pause, rewind…I've never read Beowulf."
She cocked her eyebrow. "Are you sure? I thought Beowulf was a piece of required reading like, everywhere." She laughed…a purely pleasant sound. How many friggin straight crushes was I going to have this year!
"Yeah, well, I slipped through the cracks I guess." I smiled at her and took a bite of my meal, taking the paperback from her hand and examining the cover. "I meant to ask you earlier…are you having an okay day? You seemed sort of gloomy in English."
"Really?"
Another bite. "Well, maybe not gloomy…pensive?"
I made her smile and inwardly high-fived myself. "I didn't know I was being watched," she joked, taking out a sandwich of her own and beginning to eat. "I guess I do have quite a lot to think about. Boy drama —you know how it is."
I snorted, handing her the book back. "I don't, actually. So that looks pretty intriguing. And if you've read it before, I agree that that couldn't hurt." I smiled at her. "Up to you, Jane." Oooh…and I liked how her name felt on my tongue.
"What did you say your name was?"
"Jordan."
She moved the stack of tomes that had previously separated us and shifted her chair. "Yeah, Spin was talking about you the other day. You're thinking about joining Stüdz?"
I laughed. "Stüdz is thinking about me joining Stüdz," I said. "Spin is…the drummer?"
"Yeah. He also happens to be my boyfriend." Another smile. "I don't know —the guys seemed really excited. Did Marco talk to you about a jam session…?"
Geez, all these Degrassi folk seemed on the exact same wavelength. "Yeah, he mentioned it, as did Sav and Danny last period." I finished my chicken sandwich and tossed the trash into the closest bin. "Thing is, I don't know what my parents will say. And I might also have other plans after school."
"That's fine. Just do whatever after school today and ask your parents about it. We're flexible…we're ready to hear you once you're ready to play!"
We? I looked at her cautiously. "I also…don't have a guitar."
Now it was her turn to laugh. "You can borrow one of Peter's. He has like, seven."
Grr. To tell her or not to tell her? Ugh umm umm… "I also…can't read music."
It was evident that this question caught her completely off-guard. I stuck my tongue in my cheek and waited for her facial expression to contort so I could analyze it. "Really?" she asked, her expression…perplexed? Well that was a hell of a lot better than angry. "Huh. Well that isn't to say that you don't have skills, I'm just…sort of surprised that the guys are so eager about you then. But I guess we'll hear you out and see where it goes from there, yeah?"
A shared smile. "You keep saying 'we,'" I pointed out.
"…Well, yeah," she chuckled as the bell sounded. "Didn't anyone tell you the full name of the band?"
"No."
Both of us scrambled to relocate the books to their initial resting places. Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see her checking the spines and reading the numerals along the bottom that represented the decimal system in use. Because of this, I sort of felt bad for wedging in a story whenever one could fit, but not exorbitantly so.
We reached the hallway almost in unison. "What's the band's full name?" I asked, once again walking in stride with her although our lockers were at polar opposites of the school. Mr. Perino lectured all the time anyway —I wouldn't need my social studies tome. I might look silly still carrying around my English book from second period but—
"Janie and the Stüdz featuring Peter Stone."
I grinned. "And you're Janie I presume?" She smiled and laughed as we turned…oh boy. Declan was there again. Our eyes locked…cue the shivers down my spine. What the hell was his problem? He was a perfectly good mood second period! "Oh, I meant to ask you about Declan as well. Is he bothering you? I know you have a boyfriend and everything."
"Decs? Oh he's harmless —we're working on the musical together. He isn't, you know, trying anything."
What. The. Shit. I wasn't sure how much closer I was willing to get to those hard eyes and that cold stare. Here I was, thinking that Declan was the first real friend I'd managed to make for myself, and he was hurling chills of death at me. I touched Jane's elbow and she obediently stopped and turned. "The musical?" I asked. Not only to make conversation and avoid approaching Declan (avoid her approaching Declan?), but also because a musical sounded like a way I might be able to earn some points.
"Yeah, he's in my theater production class. We're both pitched this idea for a rock opera, the soundtrack being songs written by Degrassi bands."
For some reason, that idea literally blew my mind as genius. "Seriously? That is such a good idea!"
"We're co-producing it…everything is in the preliminary stages right now, but we're beginning to put together a storyboard. We need to get a team together to get started on the script, and in all honesty, I am sooo stressed out."
I smiled at her. "I can imagine. When are the auditions?"
"Umm!" She spun around in a complete circle (so friggin cute) before finding a flyer that was posted on someone's locker. "Next Friday. That's why I'm like, freaking out! We have to get a script written to rehearse with before our first call-backs, which would be… Wednesday?"
"It does sound like you have quite a lot on your plate," I agreed. I nudged to the side ever so slightly…Declan was waiting at her locker, continuing to stare me down. He mouthed something but I'm terrible at lip-reading. "Let me know if you need any help, Jane. I mean, we're already working on Beowulf together, right?"
She smiled so wide…it made me feel like I was flying. "Right. Cool. I will keep that in mind, Jordan."
Was Declan coming over here? "Shit," I murmured under my breath before I could stop myself. "Yeah, so, keep me posted, Jane. I'll definitely try out if I can, and who knows? Maybe I'll be contributing to the soundtrack."
"We'll see!" She leaned in and I was being hugged. Her scent of crushed pine-needles swam over me, making my mind buzz in contentment. My arms wrapped around her… conforming to the curves of her body. "I'll see you around!"
Though it was bliss, as soon as I could feel her grip loosen, I hauled ass out of there.
The Dot, right after school, I'm buying.
That was the final sentence scrawled on the note Alex and I had been conversing on that second period…her punctuating her statement by chucking the projectile at my head.
KC helped me talk to Candace —the supervisor on call that day— about going to the coffee shop. At the cost of all thirty of my points, I could stay out until 5:00pm. That gave me an hour and a half to walk back to the Dot (KC showed me where it was on our way to the group home), having coffee with Alex, and walk back. We also talked briefly about the Stüdz jam session (she said that it would cost me points to attend the session, but that if I joined the band, practices would be cost-free time outside the home, and each performance worth points) and my wanting to try out for the musical (rehearsal would be cost-free, each performance worth points).
Needless to say, I was in a great mood as I began walking back with KC —him having basketball practice. After all, I made a new friend in Jane…admittedly I did have a tiny crush on her, but my straight-crushes were never as poignant or powerful as my gay ones. I learned that joining Stüdz and the musical would be awesome for my point-count, as well as spending time outside the home. And now I was headed to rendezvous with a beautiful, sexy Latina that was pretty into me. Things were looking up.
Except for one glaring exception.
And I use the phrase 'glaring exception' quite plainly, because that was exactly what Declan had been doing. I think I was correct in my earlier assumption that he had claimed 'dibs' on Jane and he thought I was encroaching on his claim. Did he know that she was taken? He probably didn't care. He must know that Jane was straight.
Then again, he might know that that small fact has never really stopped me before.
I pulled the door open and a blast of warm air hit me…the smell of a beanery. This place was pretty packed —tons of recognizable faces populated the tables and drink bar. The face I sought, however, was in the very back corner, buried in a cell phone, looking…irritated? I glanced at my hand and, reassured, walked over to the busy guy behind the counter.
"Need help?" I asked as he pulled out two cheeseburgers, two fries, a super salad, and two milkshakes. He didn't say anything and shoved the order at me, gesturing with his head at table 11.
I made my way over there and served KC's friend Alli, Alli's boy-toy Johnny, and another guy that was in my Science class that was named…Lucas? He reminded me of Jane, but she left my mind as quickly as she had arrived.
"Table 2," he said as soon as I returned, handing me three steaming cups and a basket of croissants. For the next few minutes I acted as his assistant, and we were remarkably efficient, though very few words were exchanged. After I returned from my fifth or sixth voyage, he gave me a once-over. "Who are you?"
I laughed. "My name's Jordan. I'm new—"
"Oh! You're her!" He high-fived me whilst handing change to a customer. "I'm Spinner —I play drums for Stüdz— Jane's boyfriend."
"Ah, yes, I'm aware of your many titles. Well met, Spinner. Can I use your payphone?"
This abrupt, random query caught him off-guard. "Uh, yeah, it's over here…" He led me behind the counter, fishing out some sort of token from the front of his apron and depositing it into a slot. "That's good for five minutes —it'll drop into there and you can just put it back in if you need it longer."
"Alright, thank you very much!"
He continued at his work as I dialed the number scrawled on my hand. I leaned against the wall, very inconspicuous, as I stared across the room of bumbling Canadians at her.
"Hello?"
Definitely agitated. I smirked into the phone, admiring her from afar. "Hey," I answered.
"Who is this?"
"Jordan." Her eyes closed and she slouched in her seat. I giggled. "You're cute."
"Are you coming?"
"I'm here."
That perked her up. She sat up straight, that top she was wearing doing wonders for her chest (excuse my perversion), casting around the restaurant. "Are you sure you're at the right place? I don't see you."
"I see you," I replied, grinning. "And it's pretty crowded in here —I can't blame you."
"Well are you going to come and join me? I've been waiting."
"Sorry sorry —I got held up with my parents. I'll be right there."
I hung up the phone, sort of jittery with giddy anxiety. I swerved around Spinner and took a serving of curly fries to table 6 for him on my way to Alex.
Her face lit up when she saw me, which of course made my day. Her features were naturally fierce, aggressive…and they all softened in unison when our eyes met. It was easy to smile at her, and I treasured the beam I got in return. "Hi."
"Hi."
I took my seat. "See? I made it…after you pegged me in the head with the invite, I thought it wise to endure this date rather than prompt you to hit me with something more sizable."
She laughed. "Date? I didn't know this was a date…"
I shrugged. "Call it what you want, my dear. I'm going to get a blackie —want anything?"
"Oh no —I told you, I'll buy—"
I put my hand over hers, savoring the little lightning bolts that danced between us. "I insist. Do you want anything?"
She retrieved her wallet and pulled out a five, handing it to me. "A caramel frap, please."
I smiled and wordlessly left, navigating through the crowd. I bumped into Sav and traded greetings…he pressed me about Stüdz and I told him the news (editing it to make me sound like I was under normal circumstances), and he was nothing short of ecstatic. These guys' keenness for me to join their little troupe was hilarious…at least they were asking for a jam session first. Now that I had the green light, I allowed my hopes to stir a little. He was with his girlfriend Anya, who was friendly enough and claimed to be in my English class. I had no idea so I didn't press her.
Within moments I was sitting across from Alex once more, she sipping her drink and me sipping mine. "Oh!" I said, setting the cup down and beginning to search through my coat pocket. "Your change." I handed her back her five.
She rolled her eyes but chuckled good-naturedly, tucking her money away.
Conversation flowed effortlessly. I was relaxed and composed…asked her about her day, her homework load, her drink. She talked freely, smiled freely…I definitely liked her. It was easy to be myself…I was comfortable in a way I was usually uncomfortable. Alex didn't mind me blurting out the first thing that flew into my head —in fact, she seemed disposed to the same inclination. She asked me about myself, and I answered as best I could. We decided to indulge in a game of 20 Questions.
"Favorite color?" she asked, curling her long, lithe fingers around her steaming cup.
I smiled. "White," I said.
"KKK much?"
See my point? I absolutely loved it. I laughed at her comment as I pulled my bangs into my eyes. "Not a racial thing, I promise."
"Then why white?" Her eyes twinkled with mischief.
I shook my head. Sipped my coffee. "I don't have a layman's answer for you."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning…" I searched for words to explain myself. "Meaning that my answer is pretty heavy for a chat over coffee. What's more important —beauty or brains?"
"Hmm…" She eased into her seat, those chocolate eyes appraising me over the rim of her drink. "Considering you have both, I don't see why I should be made to choose."
Really now? That was the answer I wanted to hear…. "You have stunning eyes."
"Don't get me started on your eyes."
I snickered, holding my coffee in my lap for the heat. "Oh yeah? And what do you mean by that?"
She shrugged. "Oh I don't know…maybe I'm just talking nonsense!"
"You know what I think?"
"What's that?"
"I think you might be a bit of a tease."
Alex bit her lip in that same seductive way that made my cells go berserk. "Maybe. Your question."
I checked the clock briefly. Had forty minutes passed already? I, for one, was enjoying myself immensely. The black coffee was strong and bitter and scalding —just the way I liked it. Alex was easy and fun and comfortable. In a singular moment I found some sort of inner peace that resonated throughout my head and heart…a sense of safety in an unrelenting chaos. One second of rest and contentment. I look up at this beautiful girl and smiled at her. "Please tell me about my eyes?"
Alex smirked as she leaned forward. Her elbows grazed the table as her hands erected a steeple in front of her. I had no idea what she could say about my eyes when hers were so open and welcoming. "Your eyes might even be better than your killer smile, Jordan." She flashed her teeth, cocking her head to the side as she looked at me. "They're…ocean blue, with strands of emerald and flecks of hazel, like abalone. They might be the most passionate eyes I've ever seen…with the slightest change in your expression, the fire behind them either roars or dwindles, dances or tames. They're penetrating. Intense. Calculating. But also vastly intelligent, sage-like…empathetic. They're… seemingly aware of every detail of every moment, yet at the same time…distant and contemplative. Your eyes are just so vicious and raw. It's awesome."
…Wow. Consider my mind blown. Was she some sort of world-renowned author? And was she sure these were my plain old eyes she was gazing into? Flabbergasted, I didn't know what to say. "It's not often that I'm at a loss for words," I admitted, shaking my head in bewilderment.
She laughed. "Guess I was a poet and didn't know it!" It was her turn to seek the time. "When did you say you had to be home?"
Uh, never? "I don't have a curfew," I lied flawlessly. After that description, she'd hooked me and reeled me in. I wasn't going to be shaken off that easily.
"Really?" She looked tremendously pleased with herself. "Is there any chance you want to head to my place? It's not far from here, and maybe you could explain Kwan's assignment to me."
I didn't mention that I had spaced out during Kwan's lecture about the book report. I didn't mention that I did have a pre-determined curfew and no way to get home. But I'd brought my wallet…I could ask a taxi to take me to the group home on Spartan Street. Plus I could make up some bullshit about getting lost along the way…it was worth it.
Alex was worth it.
