Okay, for all you who have asked, here are Jack and Sam finally talking. Whether or not they will resolve anything is another matter! Read it and see (and please review – I can't tell me how lovely it is to hear from all of you. I love the fact that I'm hearing from people all over the world. How exciting).

Nope, not yet mine although I'm in negotiations!

By the time the banquet had finished everyone seemed ready to call it a night. It had been a long and tiring day with lots of 'putting your best foot forward', 'thinking before you spoke' and 'not sticking your foot in your mouth' (at least as far as Jack was concerned). Clichés aside, the day had gone well and the team members felt they were on track to open up further conversation with the Treleans.

Teal'c, Daniel and Sam all chatted quietly as they headed back to camp. Jack seemed quiet and pensive, although not unhappy. The three friends left him to his thoughts and spoke of what was happening the next day. They had discovered, just that evening, that the Trelean's plan was to take Jack to visit their temple. Not that they called it a temple exactly. They had simply referred to it as the 'Place of the Guardians'. When asked what or who the Guardians were they received no answer. Tadeuzs simply said that they would see in the morning. He also indicated it was a great honor only given to a few. The fact that Jack was to be taken to the site showed how much they revered him. As they had told Daniel previously, Jack was allowed to bring his companions, the rest of SG1.

"They really liked you Jack". Daniel said, just as they were about to enter their camp. "Even the lady with the big hat thought you were great. I loved how you told her she reminded you of one of the great heroes of our planet, Marge Simpson. She was very honored," laughed Daniel.

"Hey, I do know how to charm the ladies, Daniel. Believe me, it's a basic survivor skill in Washington." Looking around at their camp, so similar to the many they had had during their time together as SG1, Jack stopped and turned towards his erstwhile teammates. "So campers, since SG8 is handling watches tonight I guess we can all curl up in our comfy tents and get a good night's sleep. At least that's one perk of being galactic superheroes. So, who's the lucky one who gets to share the tent of the "Great O'Neill"?

"I guess that would be me, Jack", answered Daniel, "although I don't know if I'll fit with your fat head in there!"

"It's okay Danny, I'm sure there'll be just enough room in the corner for you. Well, I'm tired, it's been a long day and, since there are no good games on Trelean TV tonight, I'm off to bed – or at least to sleeping bag. Oy, I'm not looking forward to this. One of the few things I've enjoyed about not going off-world is having a regular bed to sleep in every night. Good night guys. Well done today." And with that, Jack entered his tent.

The remaining friends sat quietly around the fire for a few more minutes and soon they, too headed for their tents and sleep.

For a long time there was nothing but quiet in the campsite. The only sounds were the soft rustling of trees and the occasional crackle of branches as one of the members of SG8 circled the perimeter of the camp. After a time, however, movement could be heard from one of the tents and soon a figure appeared coming through the zippered doorway and into the night.

Although bone tired, he hadn't been able to fall asleep. Too many thoughts had been circling in his mind all day. It was strange, in many ways today had been one of the best days he had spent in a long time, in others it had been the most difficult. One part of him felt like he had come home, that things were back to where they should be. The other part felt like a fraud, that it was all a lie and he no longer belonged. Even his clothes felt strangely familiar and comfortable and yet strangely foreign – as if the BDU's he had worn for so many years were no longer a second skin but a suit that he put on like a costume, making him something he was not.

He felt like he had lost his place and no longer knew where he belonged. Oh, he so wanted to belong with his friends and family, the old SG1. They were the ones that made him feel whole, that made him feel cared for. But he knew he could not burden them with his presence on a regular basis. They needed to move on and sadly, he had gotten to an age where he could no longer keep up. He also had responsibilities and he knew his superiors relied on him and would never let him return to the field, even if he was able. No, he had his place now, but oh, how he missed this.

Things with Sam had gone well. He had been so worried but it was obvious she wasn't angry at him. He was relieved, but also a little hurt. It must have meant that she wasn't that concerned that he had stopped calling, that his being out of touch didn't bother her. "Stop that O'Neill", he thought, "just be grateful that you still have her friendship. That means more than he could put into words.

Finally, realizing he wouldn't be able to sleep, he had decided to go for a walk. The planet was beautiful at night. Tonight the sky was clear and the stars were shining brightly. Looking at the stars had always meant so much to Jack – joy when things were good, and solace when life became hard. Tonight was no different. He settled himself on the side of near hill, leaned back and, breathing deeply proceeded to lose himself in the jewels of the sky.

She had thought it would be easy to fall asleep. She had been feeling relaxed and happy at how well the day went. Jack had seemed to enjoy himself – at least when he wasn't grousing about all the formalities. He had seemed much more relaxed and had started to be more like the Jack they knew and complained about! There were moments when he had been quiet and still, but they had been brief and he hadn't seemed unhappy. Now, however, all her thoughts and plans kept racing through her mind. She knew she had to speak to him. Tomorrow they were going to the Trelean's 'holy place' or whatever they called it and after that Jack would probably be going back to Earth. She didn't have much time to speak to him and realized it had to be soon.

Just as she was lying there, listening to the soft snores coming from Teal'c (and wasn't that an odd sound from someone who had never slept in their life except in the last couple of years), she heard a slight noise coming from the other tent. She quickly moved and, unzipping the flap on her tent, looked out, just in time to see Jack walk off into the woods.

Now's the time she decided. This was her opportunity to speak to him and see if she could change the status quo into something much more meaningful to both of them. Breathing quickly, heart racing, she quickly donned her shoes and left the tent. Following in Jack's direction she paused briefly, hoping that he hadn't simply gone to 'water some trees'. If that was the case, the embarrassment of earlier today would seem like nothing.

Oh well, to quote a well-worn phrase … nothing ventured….!

For a while, she heard and saw nothing until unexpectedly she came upon him, lying back on the side of the hill, which sloped away from where they had set their camp. His eyes were open, staring into the night sky. He didn't appear to hear or see her until suddenly, in a soft voice he murmured, "Hello Captain".

"Captain! Where had that come from?' she wondered. Before she had time to respond Jack looked over at her and blinked, as if he had suddenly woken up. "Geez, I'm sorry Carter – of course I meant Colonel. I was just thinking about the early days and that kind of snuck out."

"Thank goodness", she responded, "for a moment there I thought I had been demoted because of the hat episode today."

"Demoted? I think you deserve a promotion for that one, Carter. That was the best moment of the day – definitely the action of at least a one star!"

"Well, the Joint Chiefs might have something to say about that, but thank you anyway."

"No problem. Hey Colonel, whatchya doin' up so late?

"I couldn't sleep Sir. Too much going on in my head". Ignoring Jack's snort at that comment she continued. "Mind if I join you?"

"Sure Carter – pull up some hill and have a seat".

She sat next to Jack – almost but not quite touching – and leaned back so she too was looking up at the stars. For a few minutes neither of them spoke. They simply let the peace of the evening wash over them. The air was soft and just slightly cool, it smelled sweet as if flowers grew nearby. It was a very gentle, very soothing moment of being together. After a while, Jack began to speak softly.

"I used to do this with Charlie, whenever I was home. We'd get out of the city and go where there were no lights. I'd wrap him up in a sleeping bag and we lie there looking up at the stars. I started teaching him the names of the constellations and he picked them up really quickly. He was a smart kid – took after his Mom I guess."

Again speaking quietly, almost as if to himself, he continued. "We'd also play a game where we would try and come up with our own names for the constellations. The names often depended on whatever was his favorite book or TV show at the time," he laughed. "I think we had a Barney Constellation, a Thomas the Tank Engine and later on a Ninja Turtle Constellation. He would always let me name a couple too." Here his voice faded and he became silent.

"Let me guess, you had a Homer and a Bart?" Sam asked softly.

"Yeah – and of course we had some hockey constellations including a Gretzky and an Orr." Again, he stopped speaking and continued to look unblinkingly at the stars.

This was the first time she had ever known Jack to voluntarily speak of his son. She knew of him, of course, especially after the crystal entity and the time loop – but he never mentioned Charlie's name. She wasn't quite sure what this meant, whether he was truly sharing something with her, or whether he was lost in his own thoughts and wasn't really that aware of her presence. She hoped it was the former.

Whatever it was, she was grateful that he felt he could speak this way with her present. B

ut again, she began to feel a bit frightened as to what this meant. Why was Jack all of a sudden opening up. She hoped to God it didn't mean something bad.

"God Carter, I miss him so much. You would think that after all these years it would get easier, but sometimes the pain is as bad as when it first happened. Sara said I should try and remember the good times, but whenever I do that it just reminds me of the fact that he should be here. He should be a young man, dating, hanging out with his friends, going to college. Whenever I think of him all I can think is what a horrible, tragic waste. He was the best thing I ever did Sam – he was the best part of me – and that's all gone." He stopped speaking suddenly and covered his eyes with his forearm, not wanting to admit to the tears that had gathered there.

"Sir, I can't possibly imagine what you are going through – what it was like to lose your son and to have to live with that every day. But I do know one thing, while his death may have been a waste, his life was not, and neither is yours. Jack, while I know that you would give anything for the tragedy of his death not to have happened please remember one thing. Not because of his death, but because of his life, you are a better person. Don't tell me that every time you fight against oppression, every time you stand up to help the weak and defenseless you aren't doing this because you know what it's like to lose your son. You don't want that to happen to anyone else. Every mother, or father or child you save is a legacy to your son's life. Charlie is the best part of you – not before, not just while he was alive, but now. He is part of you now, Jack, and his short but beautiful life has made you into the man you are today. Remember that when you remember him. And remember that he lives on in you and you in him. All those lives that have been saved, that have been made better are not because of Jack O'Neill and SG1, but are because of one small boy, Charlie O'Neill, lover of stars, of hockey and of his Mom and Dad. I know he's up there, right now, Jack, watching over you, laughing with you at that silly hat, and giving his own names to the constellations in this new sky."

For a while there was a dead silence and Jack didn't move. "Oh God", she thought, "I've gone too far. I should never have spoken. I hope he forgives me." Afraid that Jack would continue to ignore her, or get up and walk away, she was stunned when he suddenly sat up and grabbed her. Holding on as if for dear life he hugged her so hard she could hardly breathe. She felt wetness against the side of her neck and realized that Jack was crying. Softly, almost so she couldn't hear, he whispered into her neck, "thank you, Sam, thank you."

They sat together like this for a long time, wrapped in each other's arms. Sam realized one thing – that no matter what happened between the two of them, she would be forever grateful for this opportunity to give back something to the man who had given so much to others. If all she could ever have with Jack was this one moment, it would be worth it.

Although she was starting to feel stiff and her backside was getting cold from sitting so long on the hill, the embrace ended all too soon for Sam as Jack slowly lifted his head and leaned slightly away. He self-consciously wiped his eyes and gave her a little grin.

"I know now why I love you so much Samantha Carter,"

More Sam/Jack talking tomorrow!

On a personal note: I lost two children a few years ago and since that time volunteer with an organization that helps parents who have lost a child. I do one-on-one counseling as well as group support for parents. What I've written in this story is from what I've learned through my own experience and that of the people I've supported. I've always wanted to see the subject of Charlie's death addressed in more detail but know it's a difficult one for many to write. Some authors have done an excellent job and this is my take on it. I hope everyone is okay with it.

I'll try and update tomorrow with the rest of the Sam/Jack talk. This was just too emotional for me to continue tonight. And anyway, a cliff hanger is good now and then! Thanks everyone.