Chapter 19 It's not Stupid

Although meetings were being held in the Grimmauld place, Sirius felt that his presence was pointless. It wasn't like he was contributing anything to the meeting. Every time Sirius tried to state his opinion, he felt like he was shot down immediately. In addition, he always was assigned the same job and that was to stay in the house and pretend not to exist

As the current meeting was go on and on, Sirius couldn't stand another moment.

"I'm going to check… on Buckbeak," he said quietly, but no one seemed to notice that he was leaving. He could have shouted that he was going to join the Death Eaters, and he doubted anyone would hear him.

Sirius was heading up the stairs. He mindlessly past the first floor, then the second, and by the time he had reached the fourth floor, he was wondering if he should head back down. It was not like anyone was missing him.

Unexpectedly, Sirius heard soft creaks from up above and he realize the sounds were coming the attic. He had forgotten all about the attic. The last time he was up there was the summer before his fifth year.

When he had climbed the stairs, he walked up into the attic and saw that Tonks was hiding in the corner.

"Oh, I didn't know anyone else was up here. Are you hiding from the meeting as well?" Sirius laughed, but then he could tell that she had been crying. Even though she was trying to hide it, her eyes looked like they were swollen with pain.

"Are you okay?" Sirius ran up to her.

"Yes, I just got something in my eye." She covered her face.

"And you came up to the attic to clean your eye?" Sirius said doubtfully.

"Yes! Please, will you just leave me you alone?" Tonks snapped at him.

"But you –"

"JUST GO!"

Sirius, startled by her tone, headed towards the stairs. He was halfway down them when he heard Tonks started to cry heavily. He was wavering between going back up the attic or back to the meeting. For some reason it took him less than a second to decide what to do.

He immediately walked back up and quickly sat down next her. Even though Tonks knew that Sirius was right next to her, she couldn't stop crying. Therefore, she had her back turned to him.

"What's wrong? I mean what's really bothering you?" He kindly asked.

"Why would I tell you?"

"I… uh? Because you look like you need someone to talk to."

"Blimey Sirius! Why would I talk to you? We're family, but yet you've barely spoken to me since The Order reformed… God, will you please just leave me alone." Tonks tears kept falling down her cheeks.

It was true that Sirius had cut himself from most of his family ages ago. Despite the fact that Andromeda was his only favorite cousin, Sirius never considered Tonks as family. It's not like he personally hated her. It's just that they barely knew her before he went to Azkaban (she was just a kid when he was imprisoned). With all that was happening now, they still didn't have the chance to get to know each other better.

"I thought everyone was avoiding me. No one really talks to me that much… but I wasn't intentionally avoiding you… But I'm here now. You can talk to me if you want." Sirius confessed.

"You're going to think its rubbish." Tonks mumbled as she wiped the tears off her face.

"Try me?"

She turned around and said, "I let myself open up to this guy, and he completely broke my heart… Okay there! You can make fun of me all you want." She said as her eyes filled with tears.

"Oh," he said awkwardly. Sirius kept quiet for a second; this was the last thing he was expecting. He thought that she had been overwhelmed with work or afraid about the up and coming war. Sirius was not expecting her to say that she was dumped.

"It is rubbish, I know. I've gone mental." She said.

"It's not rubbish."

"He looked me in the eye and told me that he loved me. I mean he looked me in the eye… It's been a week and he still hasn't talked to me. He won't even look at me…"

"Well if you ask me, he sounds like a foul-mouth git. He's the mental one. He doesn't know what he's losing. Does not sound like anyone I would want to hang around." Sirius smiled.

For some reason this had put a smile on Tonk's face and she let out small laugh, "Thanks… you probably think I'm so vain. With all that's going on, I can tell that you're constantly worried about Harry. This is probably a silly little problem I'm dealing with."

"No, it's not." Sirius wrapped his arm around her, "There is a lot going on… but that doesn't mean your life is going to stop. It does not mean that you can turn off your emotions."