Hey guys! I meant to upload this a lot earlier but FanFiction(dot)net decided to hate me. Stupid error messages...
Disclaimer: Aside from Kuri and Katrina, I don't own the characters/shows/whatever in this fanfic. Happy?
"You're kidding me, right?"
Julia stared Kuri down with a menacing glint in her eyes.
Kuri scratched the back of her head and with a shrug replied, "Hey, I said I was sorry. And, I mean, it's not like I- OW HAIR OW HAIR OW OW OWW!" Julia was tugging Kuri over to center stage by her long yellow hair. Well, "tugging" might not be the right word for it, I think "dragging" might fit the action better.
"I can't believe you would just let Road cheat like that!" Julia scolded as she continued to drag Kuri across the stage. "And with no penalty challenge, too! Who are- since when have you ever been that... merciful?"
Kuri tried to keep her hair from being ripped out of her scalp. "When? Just- ow! -since I became a huge RoadxAllen - oww! -fan, okay?"
Meanwhile, Jade was sitting on the edge of the stage, waiting patiently for the game to actually start.
Oh, you should probably know that this is Kish narrating. Hi there! I'm telling this chapter from my point of view because Kuri was too lazy to do it herself. (She's been wanting to write a chapter for this story from a character's point of view for a while now)
I took a sip of my lemonade. Kuri, who had been feeling oddly generous, had put a cup of lemonade in everyone's cup holders so they could have something to drink while they waited for the game to begin. Well, that's what she said, but knowing Kuri, I have a feeling that it's for a much more sinister reason.
Julia dropped Kuri in the center of the stage and sat down next to Jade.
I smiled. If this story kept going at this pace, we might never have to start the game. I liked that idea.
"Katara, your turn!" shouted Kuri suddenly, interrupting my thoughts and cutting my hopes short. I watched as Katara dragged herself up to the wheel and pulled the switch.
The wheel went 'round and 'round and 'round until it finally landed on...
"Zuko!" shouted Katara, surprised.
Zuko blushed fiercly. He managed to stutter, "Ah... I... I... I have a girlfriend and... AH!" Jade quickly picked Zuko up with her unrealistic strength and threw him onto the stage at Katara's feet.
Katara, who's coffee-with-cream colored skin I noticed was blushing as red as a beet, helped him to his feet. Her face darkened a few more shades of red and she turned away, apparently to hide her embarrassment.
"Aw, looks like they need a little encouragement, folks!" said Kuri, looking to the audience.
I did not waste any time in starting up a chant. "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" I shouted. By now I knew that refusing even the smallest of Kuri's whims ended up with one of her famous not-so-empty threats.
After a few seconds, I glanced at my fellow captives, hoping to get some more people into it. They caught on and started chanting with me. Soon everyone was into it, except for Aang, who I could clearly tell had a crush on that Katara girl.
Within a few more moments of chanting, Zuko had leaned in and gave Katara a peck on the cheek. Satisfied, Jade, Kuri and Julia let him stumble back to his seat.
"Can we have someone from Tokyo Mew Mew go now?" asked Jade. Kuri nodded. Being from Tokyo Mew Mew myself, I instantly perked up.
It was very quiet now as Kuri mulled over who she would pick. I could clearly hear the muffled sounds of a certain too-tan-to-be-Japanese-environmentalist-boy coming from a nearby closet, where Kuri had locked him in. I don't know why exactly she put him in there, I just know that's he's there, and Kuri probably intended to do something with him later.
Kuri's eyes trailed over the chalky-faced audience. I wish she'd pick Ichigo. That would be awesome. And if she did pick Ichigo, it would be even more awesome if the wheel landed on me...
"Ichigo, I choose you!" Kuri shouted, much to my surprise.
"What, I'm a Pokemon now?" Ichigo grumbled.
"No, no, you're supposed to go "Pika Pikachu!" or something!" Kuri demanded. "Like, in your case, Ichi-Ichi! Or something!" Ichigo simply stared at her.
"Fine, you are not worthy of being a Pokemon!" she stated. (Somewhere in the distance, the forth wall has been shattered) "Get up here!"
Ichigo stomped up to the stage. She was about to make a grab for the switch when Kuri held it out of her reach. I found this odd, seeing that Ichigo is actually taller than Kuri, but whatever.
"Ah ah ah, you're not using this." said Kuri.
Ichigo was confused. "What do you mean?" she asked. "And... what am I supposed to use, my hands?" Kuri said nothing, but grinned wider when Ichigo mentioned using her hands. Ichigo gulped.
"You don't mean..." she trailed off. Kuri nodded.
"But- but- why me? What did I do? Why can't I use the switch like everyone else?"
Kuri shrugged. "Eh, messing with you is just really amusing for me. Also, I'm still mad at you for laughing at Kish in last game."
Ichigo sighed. "Well then, I guess there's no way around it." She gripped the edge of the wheel and tried to move it even a little bit. The wheel did budge after a while, but it only went to the next name, on the left of Zuko's name.
And wouldn't you know, my name was next to Zuko's.
Ichigo bowed her head. "No, no... no...! WHY?" she groaned.
I jumped out of my seat with a cry of joy and landed on the stage in front of Ichigo. Now that I looked at her, I noticed she looked especially pretty today.
"Excuse me for a moment." said Ichigo to Kuri as she walked over to the metal wall behind the wheel. Once there, she proceeded to smash her head into it multiple times until there was a large dent in the wall.
"Uh... Ichigo, I'm pretty sure that's a good way to get brain damage..." trailed off Mint.
Lettuce got up from her seat and led Ichigo away from the dented wall.
"Oh, c'mon, just do it." said Kuri. "I mean, sure, he's your enemy, but it could be worse! He could be ugly, or a nerd. Like Masaya."
"Masaya-kun is not ugly! Or a nerd!" retorted Ichigo. "Right Kish? You're friends with us n..."
I wonder what she's talking about? I really haven't been paying attention... I think I stopped listening after Mint started talking. Something about brain damage? Whatever. I'll just focus on Ichigo. Gosh, her eyes look all sparkly and brown, like hot chocolate, or mocha iced coffee, whatever that is. Hmm... she's still talking. From the way her eyes are pointed at me I think she might be saying something to... me! Aw, crap, I should listen!
"...and another thing, what does Kish have that you like so much Kuri? I mean, Masaya-kun has soft, wavy brown hair, and a tan. Does Kish have a tan? Hm, Kuri? Does he? No! He's paler than a bedsheet!"
I whined, "Aw, am I really that pale?" even though I knew it was true. But hey, is is my fault my planet sees the sun for thirty total days every two years? No, it's not, if you were thinking it was. So stop pestering me about my complextion, Ichigo, and let's move on with the game!
"So... this might be a bad time to ask," I started, "but can we make out now?"
"YES!" shouted Kuri.
"No!" screamed Ichigo.
"Times up, moving on!" said Jade suddenly.
Kuri was shocked. "What? No way! This is my game, I decide when time's up!"
"You did." replied Julia. "Remember? On that sign over there!"
Once again, all eyes turned to a distant wall to read a strange sign that randomly appeared out of nowhere.
Again.
Rules of STB
1. No Yaoi/Yuri at anytime is to be seen (or any of the other stuff that was forbidden, as said in Randomly Appearing Sign numero uno)
2. Each player is given a fair chance at spinning, with no alterations what-so-ever
"Pfft, yeah, right." I heard Taruto mutter.
3. Couples are given six minutes at the very most to make out with each other. Any longer is forbidden, even if Kuri objects.
As stated in the first sign, all players will play by these rules, or be thrown to the rabid fangirls in the basement.
-Management
"Dammit!" yelled Kuri.
Dammit! I thought.
"Kish, go sit down." Julia commanded me. "Amu, your turn!"
I growled at Jade, for mentioning the stupid time limit, but floated down to my seat. Ichigo did the same, 'cept she walked. Amu gulped, but got out of her seat and walked to the stage.
"There." grunted Kuri as she forked the switch over to Amu. I could tell she was still pretty pissed that she didn't get to see her favorite couple kiss. Of course, I was pretty pissed too.
"Well then, here goes nothing..." whimpered Amu. She flicked the switch and the wheel started to turn. It turned, and turned, and turned... and turned... yeah. I think you get the idea.
And, guess who it landed on?
"Congrats, Amu, you win a Tadase!" said Kuri, her usual smirk returning.
Amu blushed. "Ah, ah, wait! I don't think I'm ready for-"
"YESH! YEEEEEEEEEESH!" shouted Julia suddenly. "IT'S ABOUT TIME, YOU TWO! WHOO! YEAH! BOO-YAH, SUCK ON THAT, AMUTO! C'MON, AMU, GET UP THERE!"
Kuri sweatdropped. "Uh, she's been waiting for this, y'know?"
Ikuto grinned at Tadase. "Good luck with that, 'Prince'."
As soon as he said that, Julia stopped cheering. Kuri bit her lower lip. Everyone in the audience paled.
"CRAP! He said the "P"word!" shouted Kukai.
A furious dark aura surrounded the Seiyo Elementary's King chair. I think that was when I almost wet my pants. His eyes were flaming with rage as Kiseki shouted, "Chara change! Go and punish the insolent peasants, Tadase!
"...W-where did Kiseki come from...?" asked Jade, interrupting the terrified silence from the crowd. "D-didn't we leave the S-Shugo Chara's in the pool room so the Gaurdians couldn't chara change?"
Kuri replied, "I... I don't know. Maybe the same thing that was going on with Mint in the last story is happening with him now? Like, randomly popping in and out for plot devices?"
"That's right, commoner." said Kiseki before disappearing into thin air.
A red, flowing cape appeared around Tadase's neck, along with the usual crown. I watched as the flaming aura around him exploded.
"DON'T... CALL... ME... PRINCE!" he shouted. "I am the King! All will bow before me! You!" He pointed to Ikuto. "You will call me Your Highness! Never prince! Do you hear me, Tsukiyomi Ikuto?"
Ikuto grinned more. "Sure, Prince."
Uh oh.
"GAAAAH!"
-We inturrupt this psychotic chara change fueled rampage for a scheduled commerical break and a small announcement-
Kuri rice! Kuri rice! Yum yum yum!
Kuri rice is a great new brand of rice, grown fresh and imported fresh from the imaginary third moon of Mars, then mixed with questionable nutrient supplements for a great tasting super-rice! Availible in all Canadian habberdasheries in the magical supper-yummy otaku isle! (Please note that the otaku isle is also referred to as the "imaginary" isle, because it's, well, imaginary.)
Commercial end.
Here's the announcement!
Attention: This chapter will now be written in third person view, rather than Kish's view, mainly because Kuri is too lazy to keep it in the correct perspective. Thankyou.
-Now for your regular programming-
"GAAAH! I'M GOING TO PUT YOU IN YOUR PLACE, COMMONER!"
Kuri turned to Julia. "Quick! Like we discussed! Operation: Amu Chu~!"
Julia nodded and repeated the message to Jade, who then proceeded to sprint over to Amu, where she picked her up and held her like a battering ram.
"W-what the...?" Amu sputtered.
"Attack!" commanded Julia. "Character-Change-Battering-Ram!"
As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Jade charged with a confused Amu in her hold, and pressed the face of her "battering ram" right into Tadase's.
Chuuuu~~~
The crown disappeared, along with the robe. Tadase stepped back, his face a blushing tomato. Amu was the same, except Jade was still holding her like a weapon.
"What just... did I..." Amu managed to say. "Did, I just kiss... Tadase-kun?"
Julia grinned. "Yep! And he's blushing, too!"
Kuri shrugged. "Well, that was anti-climactic. But now, since it's over with, I think we should move on..."
"What?" exclaimed Julia. "Nooo! I wanna make them do it agaaaain!"
Kuri sighed. "Look, Julia. We have to pu-"
"BLAH BLAH BLAH I can't hear you!"
"WE HAVE TO-"
"I'M SORRY, YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEAK UP!"
While Kuri and Julia argued about what to do next, the contestants in the room were getting a little bit more casual about the situation.
Nagihiko, Rima and Yaya had planned an escape route, but Allen and Taruto had quickly extinguished that hope by sharing their example of what happened the last time they were here when they had tried to get out.
"Does Kuri sharpen her nails, or what?" exclaimed Taruto. (Author's Note: As a matter of fact, she does, midget!)
Rhode meanwhile was humming a tune in her seat. Pudding, upon hearing her, leaned over and asked, "Isn't that the "Fun Song" from that American anime SpongeBob na no da?"
Rhode shrugged. "I dunno. Kukai taught it to me. I'm not even sure what an "anime" is, let along SpongeBob. Though, I think Kukai called it a "cartoon"."
"Pudding loves that song na no da!" exclaimed Pudding. "And Pudding knows every word! F is for friends who do stuff together-"
"What is THAT?" yelled Jade. She marched up to Pudding and Rhode, with her books peeking out of a small satchel hanging by her waist.
"It's the Fun Song na no da!" said Pudding. "Do you want to sing it with me?"
Jade shook her head. "No, no, n-n-n-n-no! You're doing it wrong. That's not how it goes! You've completely messed up the words!"
Pudding was lost. "W-What do you mean na no da? That's how they sang it on SpongeBob..."
"Are you gonna teach us how to sing it then, or not?" inturrupted Rhode.
Jade nodded and smiled. "Alright!" She cleared her throat. "Now then, sing it like this:
F is for FIRE that BURNS DOWN THE WHOLE TOWN,
U is for URANIUM... BOMBS!
N is for NO SURVIVORS, when you-!"
"Pudding doesn't like that version!" shouted Pudding before Jade could finish.
Rhode was grinning. "I think I like it a whole lot more than the one Pudding was singing!" She was facing Jade now. "What was the last word, by the way?"
Oh, when the author said, "she was facing Jade now", what the author meant to say was, "she was facing where Jade had been standing now", as Jade had already gotten bored and left.
Currently, she was walking over to where Kuri and Jade were playing Rock Paper Scissors in order to figure out what to do next.
"I'm telling you, "tidal wave" is totally a valid movie in RPS!" shouted Kuri.
"And I'm telling you," Jade shouted back, "the title of the game is "Rock Paper Scissors", therefore, the only valid moves in it would be ROCK, PAPER, and SCISSORS! So I win!"
"Well, I have a magical fanfiction notebook with doodles of sexy looking shirtless Kish in it! So I win!"
Jade watched the arguement with interest. Then, she got bored and tugged on Kuri's arm. "Hey, can we get ice cream now?"
Kuri was confused with this sudden proposal. "Ice cream? Now?" She turned back to Julia. "Maybe later, Jade, but right now I'm having a little discussion with Julia, and I would really appreciate it if you would agree that "tidal wave" is a valid move!"
Jade tugged on Kuri's arm again. "Come oooooon!" she whined. "You said we could get some later last time! And it's later now!"
"I never said such a thing." protested Kuri.
"Yeah you did." said Julia. "Remember?"
~Flash-back time!~
The group and Komui started to get into a big argument, containing many accounts of things like, "Damn you, curly hair!" and "Get your a*s back here and help us!" So, seeing this as a good distraction, the three fangirls snuck out to the back of the ark. They stepped out the door into the room where the game had all started, still burned black everywhere.
"Are you sure we should just leave them all like this?" Julia asked Kuri. "I mean, I just started to get closer to Allen. Leaving him here would-"
"Can we get ice cream later?" interrupted Jade. She seemed almost completely oblivious to the situation, but happy as a bird.
"Maybe." answered Kuri. "But right now, we need to get out of here. Komui is sure to unleash Komurin Six on me once he's done "chatting" with his rescue party."
~Flash-back over!~
"Well, alright." said Kuri. "But we're punishing Ikuto right afterwards, okay, Julia?"
Julia sighed. "Fine. But only because we're getting ice-cream."
"Ooh, Ikuto's gonna get punished!" said Nagihiko.
"Is he chara changed?" asked Tyki Mikk.
Rima nodded. "Yep."
Phew! All done! Sorry for the wait, guys. I'd be surprised if either Julia or Jade was still here...
But if you are, what's your favorite ice-cream? Just asking, so I don't end up giving you vanilla and you like chocolate more.
Ikuto: Chocolate is superior.
Tadase: Vanilla is better, black cat!
