Another update this evening folks - sorry this chapter is very short but is followed by another one - there was just a natural break. Thanks as always to my readers and those of you reviewing and sending encouraging emails. I try and get back to everyone but am afraid I may sometimes miss a few. If I do please know it's not because I don't greatly appreciate your comments! Thank you so much for taking the time to write.
In the brief instant he stood there, the President and the Joint Chiefs waiting for him to accept the job, a thought went through his mind.
Was this real or was this all an illusion created by the aliens? The line between reality and the events he had been living had blurred. Past, present, future, reality, dreams – all were fading in and out – just as the colors of the alien room. The moment things seemed to be clear, just as he thought he could begin to see, the reality, the room, changed again. What did it all mean? What was he meant to do?
Suddenly, however, the truth came to him – the knowledge was made clear. The alien had said it – there is no real choice without real consequences. Whether or not this was reality, in the present and not in some distant future – or some make believe world – whatever his choice was, the consequence would be real.
The job as Chief of Staff would become real – his destiny set. His true choice was to take the job and put duty first. He could control the fate of his world. He would make decisions that would affect millions. He would have the ear of the most powerful man in his world. The choice was real – and it was a choice he could not refuse.
He could not say no. He could not put himself first. His whole life was about duty, honor, the good of others before the good of himself. He was being called to a higher purpose and the choice was clear.
All of these thoughts raced through his mind in an instant so small no one in the room noticed, except maybe Carter. She was now looking up at him again, her head tilted to one side and a look of utter love and encouragement in her eyes. She knew the ultimate sacrifice they were both being asked to make and, like always, she was prepared. She would stand tall, stand courageous and accept the fate meted out to her by a cruel and exacting universe.
With that strength and determination behind him, Jack finally looked back at the President.
"Sir, I am honored. Thank you for your trust and your belief in me. I have always put the good of our nation and our world first and I will continue to do so. With that, however, the answer is no. Regretfully, I decline the offer and the promotion."
A stunned silence fell over the room. Sam gasped and swayed on her feet. Jack quickly reached out and grabbed her arm, steadying here. She wasn't the only one who made a sound, however. The President choked, uttering a strangled "whaat!"
The Joint Chiefs all began speaking at once.
"How can you say no Jack?'
"You can't refuse O'Neill – this is a great honor."
"We need you Jack – the world is depending on you."
Of all the voices in the room, the only one that was silent was that of General Jumper. As Jack looked up at him he saw the man smile gently and nod.
"You tell em son", he said "you tell em!" General Jumper, the man who had lived his life for the Air Force he loved, another man who had spent his life putting duty before all else, had finally realized something. Sometimes, love for another person had to come first. Always putting duty first isn't always the right answer.
"The Air Force, the military, the world will survive Jack," he said softly. "Oh, I believe you would have made a hell of a Chief of Staff – but no man is indispensable, except to a few lucky people. You have given more than enough and it's not wrong to take another path. We'll find another good man to fill my shoes. It's your time now O'Neill. Use it wisely. You don't want to do what I've done and realize, almost too late, what's really important in this world."
Jack smiled back at the General. Of all the people here, he realized, this man's opinion meant the most to him (except for Sam's). But this time, he knew he was right – even without Jumper's words. He knew he had made the correct choice. Whether or not he passed the aliens test .. frankly, he didn't give a damn! He simply knew, in his heart, in his very soul, what he had to do.
His destiny wasn't about power or position – it was no longer about being the hero and saving the world (again!) – it was about love. Oh, he knew that sounded incredibly sappy – and he'd never say it out loud – but the truth had come to him over the last few days. Love is truly what matters in this world … and it was what had been lost by so many over the millennia. His love for his son, for Sara, for Daniel and Teal'c and more than anyone, his love for Sam – that's what mattered. The old saying came to him at that moment …. "to the world he was but one person, but to one person he was the world."
As the Chiefs and the President were still arguing, still trying to change his mind, he turned and looked fully at Sam. She was looking back at him in wonder, tears streaming down her face.
"No Jack, you can't do this. You have to take the job. They need you, we need you."
"Do you need me Sam? Do you, Samantha Carter, not Colonel, not Doctor Carter, need me?"
She paused and looked at him. Finally, with a deep sigh, she walked up to him and gently, slowly lifted her hand to his cheek.
"Yes, Jack, I need you … always."
With that, Jack reached down and laid his hands on each side of her face. Staring intently into her eyes he blocked out the voices, the very presence of the others in the room. Softly, gently he bent towards her and touched her lips with his, not in a kiss of passion, but one of quiet hope – of completeness and fulfillment.
Jack O'Neill had come home.
