Kuri: Hello, everyone! And happy waaaay belated birthday, Alfred!

Random onlooker: Who's Alfred?

Kuri: ...you'd have to be a Hetalia fan to understand. I also want to say I'm probably the worst updater EVER. But, in my defence, my family and I DID go to Maine for a bit on vacation... and on vacation, I don't even know where to FIND a computer. Anyway, I don't own anything here, except whatever.

Jade: You're kind of being lazy on the disclaimer, huh? Why is that?

Kuri: . . .because shut up. . . I am currently not talking. (Don't feel like it)


"So, yah wanna spin next?" Kuri had asked.

Jade was about to reply, when suddenly, she had an idea.

Slowly, a smirk made its way across her face and she grinned widely, baring a striking resemblance to the cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland. She shook her head.

"No thank-you, I think I'll take a penalty challenge instead." she chuckled. Kuri stared at her in shock. Julia did as well. The author does not even know how to describe the looks on some of the anime and cartoon characters' faces.

Kuri then realized that the only reason Jade could be grinning like that and then decide to not spin was if she had an idea, and a fairly ingenious idea at that. Kuri grinned back at her.

"Come on, tell us what it is." said Julia, also catching on.

Jade cleared her throat. "Here's my idea..." she whispered.

The captive audience of animated characters nearby looked on with interest, as well as confusion, while each individual thought to themselves, "This can only lead to something bad, I'm afraid..."

And indeed how right they were. Meh...

"Oh, Allen, could you be a dear and go get that?" asked Kuri, pointing to the door that lead to the fake exit. (You know, the one with the swirling vortex of colors and the pool room which is too far below to jump to unless your the main characters)

Allen looked on at them in confusion. He had a stick loaded with dango sticking out of his mouth and as it turns out he was eating the only supply of food the characters had to survive in the game room in-between updates.

"The door, I mean. Go answer it." she explained.

"B't ders no un' w't'ng n' de o 'er s'de..." he began, the dango in his mouth prohibiting clear speech. (Translation: "But there's no one waiting on the other side...")

Though, as soon as he had said it, a knock sounded from the door.

"Of course..." said Mint with a sigh.

Allen stood up and walked past the auditorium seats, gingerly twisting the doorknob and opening the door. To his (and everyone else's) surprise, a seemingly normal-looking teenager with red hair and a mess of acne on his face was hovering on the other side of the doorway, sitting on a moterized scooter with a brand new magazine in his hand.

"Ahem, um, yeah... your order... I brought it, sir..." said the teenager awkwardly. You could hear his voice cracking in places. He seemed to be a little fazed by Allen's oddly colored hair and the scar traveling down the length of his face, but in any case he placed the magazine in Allen's hands and took out a clipboard. "Sign here, sir." he handed Allen a pen.

"First and last name, please, sir." the teenager added.

Allen slowly took the clipboard and signed his name in pen, silently gaping in amazement at the teenager's motor-powered scooter. (Well, he's from the 19th century, so it would only be natural for Allen to amazed by a lot of things...)

"Thank-you, sir." said the teenager, taking back the cliboard and pen.

Allen nodded without much thought (he was still a bit in shock), but then hastily added as the teenager sped away, "Don't call me, "sir"! I'm only fifteen!" Then he slammed the door shut.

Lavi took this moment to snicker, "Well then, would you rather be called beansprout?" And right as the words left his mouth Allen swiftly beat him on the head.

"Thanks, Allen." said Julia, taking the magazine from his hands. Kuri was holding the bleeding Lavi's head and stroking his hair, giggling in fangirl-ish delight.

"Time for the penalty challenge, everyone!" boomed Jade, as Kuri abandoned nursing Lavi's wounds and set up a small table and a few chairs on the stage.

Julia held up the magazine. "Within the pages of this book, there lies the deepest, darkest, and, well... strangest secrets that each of you anime and cartoon characters have never revealed to any each other!"

A collective gasp from each onlooker filled the room, sufficiently satisfying the three "hostesses." The multitude of trapped "contestants" looked at each other, both with worry and suspiscion in their eyes.

"For the penalty challenge, we will be reading this magazine to you..." continued Julia, "out loud, and displaying the pages to you on the big screen right here." she patted the large television screen connected to a camera that was held up by a stand. When the magazine was placed underneath the camera (which pointed down to the table) whatever page was open was displayed on the television.

"And yes, many of you will be thoroughly embarassed and humiliated." assured Jade.

"Let's begin, shall we?" asked Kuri with a smug grin on her face. Tyki Mikk buried his face in his hands, waiting for it to all just end.

Julia flipped through a few pages of the magazine, as if searching for a suitable story. She eventually found one, and placed the magazine underneath the camera.

Once again, a collective gasp filled the room. Taking up two full pages was a huge picture of what looked a like a closet, filled with all sorts of pictures and items that all had to do with one solitary person: Ichigo's "boyfriend", Aoyama Masaya.

Ichigo turned a similar shade of red to that of a tomato.

Jade read the article on the next page aloud:


Obsession!

Photography by: Jade
Article by: Kuri

Ichigo Momomiya, leader of the group of heroines Tokyo Mew Mew, has been reported to keep a love shrine dedicated to her annoyingly perfect boyfriend, decidedly giving her a creepy stalker-like reputation!

Pictured in the last two pages is what seems to be a shrine dedicated to local tan love interest Aoyama Masaya, also know as the boyfriend of a miss Ichigo Momomiya.

The reporters and photographers of this magazine stumbled upon this shrine while researching the orgin of Ichigo's birth-given name, which no reporter here can imagine for the life of them why any parent would name their child "strawberry". I mean, really, it's a fruit...

Returning to the story at hand, Ichigo seems to have taken things from her boyfriend's household to keep in her closet-shrine, which from our resources was without his knowledge. This shrine would make most possessive girlfriends seem homely by comparison. Just to name a few of the objects she has taken, the collection includes two socks from his sock drawer, a lock of hair, a shirt, three of his used toothpicks and a napkin, along with several photos from different points in his life, from infanthood to teenage years.

There also seems to be lipstick marks all over the main picture in the center of the closet-shrine...

Seriously, now. What the fruit is wrong with people?


Kish cleared his throat, glancing awkwardly around the room. He looked at Ichigo, who's blush was giving off more heat than the freaking sun, and then he burst out laughing.

"Heh, oh, my... pfft, w-wow! HAHAHA, what- I thought I was the one with the obsession!" he cried, almost falling out of his chair from laughing so hard. Ichigo was too embarassed to reply. A few of the of the other audience members also started cracking up, while the majority of them just stared at Ichigo in shock and had no idea how to react.

Julia continued flipping through the pages. Suddenly, an article with a small picture in the corner caught her eye. She grinned, then looked at Kuri.

"Did you find something embarassing...?" asked Jade, walking over to her green-clad friend. Julia nodded, chuckling darkly.

"Oh, I did. I most certainly found something embarassing. It's a little shocking to me, but I can't wait to see how our "audience" reacts..." Julia replied, a shadow ominously covering her eyes. "...though, I might end up dead for it..." she added under her breath.

"On with the next article!" commanded Kuri impatiently. Jade took the magazine from Julia's hands and put it under the camera again.

This time, there was no collective gasp to fill the room. There were no people getting red in the face, nor was anyone laughing anymore.

Just dead silence, and the eyes of every person in the room staring straight ahead at the TV screen.

Julia gave Kuri a look that sheepishly pleaded, "Forgive me," but Kuri glared at her with her now angrily narrowed eyes. Her violet irises glowed with a burning intensity, and the two co-hosts couldn't help but pale a little as they for once were on the recieving end of Kuri's angered glare.

Jade cleared her throat nervously. "A-Ah, here's the next article..."


Lies! Or is it Scandal?
(Partially nuts) STB Hostess is a Closet Yaoi Fangirl?

Article by: Anonymous
Picture by: Anonymous

Anyone reading the Spin the Bottle: Anime and Cartoon Style series should definitely know who the person pictured [upper right corner] is!

But what is this? A strange picture, isn't it? What it seems to be, is... a picture of the alleged STB hostess, Kuri, reading fanfiction!

But not just any fanfiction.

Yaoi fanfiction.

That's right! It seems that Kuri, a once thought rabid yaoi hater, has actually been converted to the dark and amazingly smexy side! Kuri was caught reading a steamy yaoi lemon (though looking very red in the face as she did so) by our photographers while they happened to be peeking in through her window. Completely by chance. During this, Kuri turned around from facing her laptop and spotted the photographers photographing her, and seemed to grow enraged and embarassed. She immediatly slammed her laptop shut, walked out the door and chased our (very brave) reporters until they were cornered in an alley.

PS, you can do a twonderfully generous thing and donate now, to help pay for our reporters' and photographers' extensive medical bills!

When questioned about the secret yaoi dabbling, Kuri reportedly grew even more flushed and broke into a rant, as recorded like this:

"Okay, fine! I'll admit it! I've gone to the yaoi side! So what? It's not my fault! The yaoi fangirls... I swear, they're contagious! And they grow on you, like fungus! Until you force yourself to go see what they're so obsessed with and then you're horrified! But then, after you slam the laptop closed, you just... peek, a little bit, because then you're curious. And then, you find youself thinking, "No, this is horrible! I don't even- w-wait, this... wow... I... oh, God, that's... so, hot...! But, it's so wrong! I don't... agh!" And then, you find yourself looked at that stuff more and more and then you're hooked! Justl like that! And that's not even all of it! It was Hetalia! It CHANGES YOU, man! I just couldn't help it! I came to the Hetalia fandom not being able to stand yaoi, but then, before I knew it, I was supporting three yaoi pairings! THREE! RoChu, SuFin... even ChibitaliaxHoly Roman Empire! But... it seems so right! Don't judge me! I don't support incest, at least, like all the other rabid-obsessed yaoi fangirls do! Because I'm not one of them! I dabble! So I don't support China/Japan, or Germancest, or USUK which feels like incest! So there! HAH!"

It has not been confirmed if Kuri also supports yuri, alongside the yaoi.


Kuri's face turned the same shade as lava jutting out from a volcano, but this time out of rage, not embarassment. She was just about to strangle her two co-hosts when she realized that her anger would be the perfect fuel to take something out on her contestants. It would be best if they suffered, mentally or physically... That was the whole point of this place, after all.

She decided that Death the Kid would be her first target.

"Kid! You there! Get up on the stage, before I pop your head off!" she commanded.

Death the Kid pouted, crossing his arms and positioning his feet, legs, and fingers in a way that (besides those three darned god-forsaken stripes in his hair!) made him perfectly symmetrical. He snorted.
"I do not need to obey your whims! I am Death the Kid, the son of Death!"

Kuri rolled her eyes. She took him by the back of his jacket and dragged him onstage.

"D'ya think she's mad at us?" asked Jade, turning to Julia. Julia grinned, but a shadow fell across her face.

"Oh yeah, she's definitely pissed."

Kuri sat down in the center of the front row, and suddenly she had an extra-long whip curled up in her left hand.

"Wh-What are you going to do with that...?" stuttered Kid, backing up slightly.

Kuri smirked ominously and soon the whip in her hand began to spark with electricity. She started whipping at Kid's feet and as Kid jumped around on one foot to the other, trying to evade the electric blows, she cackled, "DANCE, SLAVE, DANCE!"

Kuri continued laughling like some sort of mental-asylum prisoner and the other members of the audience all turned to Jade and Julia. Each gave them a look that clearly said, "Well, she's snapped. If she uses that whip on us, too, it'll be on YOUR heads!"

Julia sweatdropped and Jade gulped. "Crap..." they both said quietly.

Julia put a hand on Kuri's shoulder. She ducked quickly whenever Kuri pulled the whip back before it could hit her head.

"K-Kuri, if you're ...upset... about us finding out about the whole "closet yaoi" thing..." she began, "...it's alright! I mean, n-no one's- AGH! Watch where you're tossing that whip!- no one's perfect, right...? Er, I'm sure it'll be okay as long as you're not rabidly obsessed with it! So, please, don't be upset!"

Kuri briefly stopped attacking the poor boy-shinigami onstage and calmly looked up at Julia. Her lips were pursed into a straight line and her eyes were dull and serious.

"...I'm not upset." she stated. "...this is just really fun."

The solumn stare broke into a wild a grin and Kuri continued whipped at Kid's feet. Julia sighed in relief.

"Good news! We're not gonna die!" she exclaimed, jumping around in excited circles with Jade. Eventually, as punishment for finding out about Kuri's secret, all captive animated characters were forced to get up on the stage and recieve "dance lessons", curtesy of Kuri's newfound whip.

"Can I try using it?" asked Jade, pointing towards the weapon in Kuri's hand. Kuri laughed.

"HAHAHA no. I'm still mad at you guys." she muttered, continuing to whip at the stage and not even bothering to look at the two co-hosts.

It was later decided that they would continued the "game" and for a penalty challenge, an article would be read from the magazine about the person who was being penalized.

"Okay, I guess that I deserve that embarassment for taking so long to update." Kuri admitted later.

AND THE GAME GOES ON!


Julia: Nooooo! I thought you'd make this longerrrr! D:

Kuri: ^^" I'm sorry! I'm trying, alright?

Jade: Join us next time on Spin the Bottle: Anime and Cartoon Style! ;D