Kuri: I updated! Praise me! Bow down to the awesome me! Kesesesese~
Julia: Who...who is this...?
Kuri: Oh, sorry, I was practicing my Prussia impression. Hi guys! No, I didn't die, but you probably all want to kill me...
Jade: :) *prepares hanging rope*
Kuri: Yeahokaywhatever BEGIN READING. (And don't smile when you're about to hang someone! Dx)
I do not own anything except blah blah blah concepts, one character, blah.
"Happy Halloween, everyone~!" sang a cheery voice. "Guess what? I brought decorations and also costumes for everyone!"
Kuri, the owner of the voice, was met with only silence. She coughed.
"Um, hello? Anyone here?" she asked.
The room (except for her) was completely empty.
Suddenly a white owl flew in through the window (I have no idea where it came from… and, now that I think about it—where did the unbarred/non-electrified window come from?) and dropped a white envelope into her hands. Kuri grinned.
"Yes! I must have finally gotten my acceptance letter to Hogwarts!" she exclaimed, turning around and holding the letter up in the air just like in a Legend of Zelda game. (Duh, duh, duh, DAAA!)
But sadly, upon opening it, she learned that it was no such thing.
Dear reader,
You took too long to update, so… the people you had in the story all kind of died from starvation after a Mr. Allen Walker ate all of their food and drank all of their water.
That's too bad.
Anyway, remember to feed your subordinates and your prisoners because we will not revive them for you next time.
Sincerely,
The Staff
P.S. Characters will revive once the package we sent you is opened.
Kuri raised an eyebrow. "Wait, what package—?"
WHOMP!
A package wrapped in plain brown paper went flying in through the window and smacked Kuri in the head.
"Oh… that package!" she mumbled. "Ow…!"
Kuri opened it and the entire cast of characters in this fan fiction who had all been sprawled over the floor sat up. (I didn't feel like mentioning the dead bodies earlier) Jade and Julia were not there, though.
"Eh? Jade, Julia! Where a~re you~?" called Kuri.
"Are they missing?" asked the newly revived Pai. Kuri nodded.
She wandered around and then found a note on the floor.
Dear Journal,
Julia here again. I've now lost track of what week we've entered in waiting for Kuri to update... Writing in you is the only think keeping me sane, or at least mostly sane, I believe. The rest of the anime and cartoon characters—as I've already told you before—have all passed away after Jade and I BORROWED (NOT stole!) the rest of their food rations. Now we are down to about two grapes and a slice of ham. Once those are gone it will just be me, all alone with Jade, whom I fear I will have to kill and eat in order to survive… but, seeing as so far I've noticed that the heterochromatic is happy pretty much all the time, I think she'll enjoy a nice life in the toilet plumbing once I poop her out. Probably.
Kuri blinked. "What the Hetalia…?"
"WE'RE SAVED!" screamed two voices all of a sudden.
Julia, the owner of the first voice, latched onto Kuri immediately. "Oh, thank GOSH, we're not gonna die!" she laughed. "Do you have any food?"
"Hola, Kuri!" giggled Jade, the second voice. "Me and Julia almost starved to death! Isn't that funny? Well, I mean, earlier Julia was looking at me kind of weirdly… but we're okay now so everything's all better!" She was beaming.
"No, seriously, do you like have a sandwich or something on you?" continued Julia. "Anything? I could eat a horse right now! Or a whole person! Specifically, a heterochromatic person!"
"What?" Jade asked naively.
"Hunger can do strange things to girl's mind, young one." replied Julia solemnly.
…
"Well, in any case, it's Halloween, you guys!" said Kuri, hoping to break the somewhat awkward silence. "I brought decorations…" She snapped her fingers and then the auditorium was fully decorated for Halloween. "…and costumes for everyone!"
Another snap of the fingers and everyone was in costume.
Jade had on a Ruko Yokune cosplay (if you wanna know what Ruko looks like, go Google it). She twirled around in it, only to find that it was a bit too big.
"Oops, sorry." apologized Kuri. "I forgot that Ruko is taller than all of us." She wrote in her notepad and the clothes adjusted themselves.
"What's she supposed to be?" asked Lavi, pointing to Jade.
"An UTAUloid." Kuri replied. "I picked her because Ruko has heterochromatic eyes like Jade, except one of Jade's eyes is green, not red, but it'll do. No colored contacts mean less damage on the eyes."
"Utau…loid…?" repeated Utau confusedly.
"UTAU is a program. No connection to Hoshina Utau, Utau." Kuri clarified.
Julia looked over herself in her bat costume. It was form fitting, had a hood that had bat-ears on top, and came with black wings sticking out from the back. The hands also had claws at the ends of the fingers. She looked pretty cool, she realized—kind of kickass, like a scary superhero or a super-villain.
Kuri rubbed the back of her head. "Err, sorry. I didn't know what you guys would like for costumes, so I kind of just winged it." The girl/demon/cat/fan-girl/elf/alien/whatever she is was dressed up as an evil queen, naturally. She laughed into a fancy black lace fan. "I love this holiday!"
Zuko rolled his eyes. "Great. She was already evil; now she's royalty. How much better can this day get?"
"Much better, thanks for asking, Zuzu!" replied Kuri happily. "Now we're gonna take another break from the game and throw a party!" she cheered.
The four groups of anime/cartoon show characters looked up at her hopefully. Perhaps they would have fun, like at the end of the game party from last time?
"And we will be organizing the activities!" added Jade and Julia.
And, as usual, the captive characters all groaned.
Kuri pulled out a sheet of paper entitled, "Guest List"
"Here are the people who will be coming! Which will be all of you, of course!" she announced. "Also, what you will be going as!"
TMM:
Kish, Pai, & Tart – Vampires
Lettuce – Mermaid
Ichigo – Catwoman
Mint – Goth Princess
Pudding – Circus Acrobat
Zakuro – Gypsy
DGM:
Allen – Clown
Lenalee – Witch (not the ugly kind, but not the good kind either)
Lavi – Rabbit (ha ha)
Rhode – Herself (Rhode is scary enough by herself, dang it!)
Tyki – Sebastian from Kuroshitsuji
ATLA:
Aang – Avatar Roku
Katara – The Painted Lady
Sokka – Wang Fire (him and that beard/mustache combo…)
Toph – Badger-Mole
SC:
Utau – Half-demon/half-angel
Kuukai – Tony Hawk
Amu – Tomato (blame Ikuto, it was his idea.)
Rima – Clown (like Allen)
Nagihiko – Nadeshiko
Yaya – regular Princess
SE:
Death the Kid – Grim Reaper (duh)
"I think that'll work." said Julia, nodding her head in approval.
Patty and Lisa (Death the Kid's weapons) had been standing at the back. Patty whined, "Heeey why don't I get to dress up?"
Kuri glared at them. She decided she was going to be lazy and said, "I don't want to pick out more costumes. Good bye!" and with a scribble in her notepad they were gone. Death the Kid wondered why he was still here and hadn't used Patty and Lisa to beat the crud out of the three female captors while they had still been here.
Amu flushed. "Wh-Why am I going to be a tomato? Am I fat or something…?"
"No, no, not at all!" said Tadase comfortingly right away. Amu smiled and thanked him happily.
Ikuto smirked. "I actually picked it because you seem to flush whenever you're around me, but yeah, you do need to lose a little weight, now that I think about it."
Amu's face turned red(der) with anger and she screamed at him, "Why do you always tease me so much?"
Kuri clapped her hands. "Okay! Bobbing for apples time!"
At the mention of the word "apple," Julia immediately perked up and practically flew over to the bucket where the game would take place.
"Apples? As in food?" she asked; her eyes growing wide. "MINE!"
Kuri tried to stop her, "Ah, wait, don't do tha—" But Julia dunked her head in before she could finish.
ZZZZ!
Julia whipped her head back up and blinked. She had been electrified, and her hair stood literally on end, like there was a brown porcupine on her head. She stared at the bucket confusedly.
"I…I didn't get an apple…" she mumbled perplexedly. Her skin and clothing was both a little singed.
Jade tapped her on the back apologetically. "Sorry, it was my idea. I really liked "playing" with Ikuto so I was gonna have him go first and get shocked…"
Julia sulked silently. "Just get me a granola bar…!" she cried.
Next up on the "games" list was Pin the Tail on Somebody.
"Wait, isn't it supposed to be "Pin the Tail on the Donke—yowww!" shouted Zuko. He turned around. "Who did that?"
He found that Kuri was standing behind him holding a three foot long needle with a cloth donkey tail at the end in her hand. She had gently poked him in the leg with it.
"That's a… really big needle." said Zuko. He gulped when he realized that with enough pressure it could have easily gone right through his leg. Meanwhile, Jade and Julia were handing out more of the way-too-long-pin-on-needle donkey tails to the other "players".
Kuri explained, "You take the tail and a put on a blindfold. We put up a donkey poster over on that wall over there," she pointed to the wall with the poster, "and then you try and feel your way over to it. We'll tell you when someone's won or has a needle sticking out from their abdomen."
The three girls spun everyone around and then waited for them to start moving. When the anime and cartoon characters began to move, the three of them made sure to stay as far away from them as possible.
"Couldn't some of them, like, die in this game?" asked Jade.
Kuri nodded. "Oh, yes, most definitely."
Julia happily wolfed down a large sandwich.
"Where did you get that?" asked Kuri, pointing to the sandwich.
Julia swallowed. "This? I got it from that table over there onstage… with the picture of a turkey on a card on top of it…"
On the right side of the stage, just as Julia said, there was a table with the turkey card on it. Massive plates of food were stacked up all around it.
Jade walked over and picked up the card. "It says, "Happy Thanksgiving, from the folks at …"
Kuri blinked. "Thanksgiving!" she exclaimed. "It can't be November already, can it?"
"I can help with that!" said Aang, taking off his blindfold and running over to them.
"What, do you have a cell phone with the date on it or something?" inquired Julia.
Aang shook his head. "No…what's a cell phone? Anyway, when we were waiting for you to update and were like, starving to death, Sokka kept track of the days by writing on my head with this odd ink-producing object called a, "marker"."
He bowed and they could see that there literally was a calendar drawn Aang's shiny bald head in thick black marker.
"So, today's the eighteenth of November?" asked Kuri.
"Wait, that's not right." corrected Julia, "You guys died…I mean… kind of passed out…from starvation about six days ago. That's where the calendar stopped."
"That means today is Thanksgiving!" shouted Jade.
"Aahhh!" screamed someone from the "Pin the Tail on Someone" game area. Kuri grinned sheepishly.
"Eh, maybe it's time to stop them…?" she suggested.
The rest of the anime and cartoon characters were rounded up. Nagihiko (dressed as Nadeshiko) had the wound that Rima had inflicted on him with her tail-needle dressed, and luckily it wasn't too serious. Rima refused to admit if she had done it intentionally or not.
"What're we doing?" asked Kish.
"Today is Thanksgiving. We will be celebrating it." answered Kuri.
Most of them—err, no, make that everyone—was instantly confused.
"The heck is that?" grumbled Taruto.
"Oh, right, I forgot that none of you are from America." Kuri sighed. "Could you guys explain it to them?"
Julia looked at her heterochromatic friend/accomplice/co-tormentor. "Eh, I saw your profile here… and I can't help but get the feeling that you're either Australian or British." she said, looking at Jade. "So you wouldn't really know or care about this holiday, right?"
Jade didn't reply. She was giggling while reading her book, which she seemed to take everywhere with her.
"…I guess you won't be explaining anyway, whether I guessed right or not." Julia muttered.
"What country are you from?" asked Kuri.
"That doesn't matter and will not be revealed." Julia replied. "But as a member of this fan fiction, I automatically have access to every piece of information available on the internet that is both real and quite possibly false, including details on the American holiday of Thanksgiving."
She turned to the captive animation characters, who were still rather confuzzled (which is now officially a word in the author's mind-dictionary).
"So here's the thing." she began. "Some British people came over to America on a boat. Wait, no, make that a couple of boats. They had no freaking clue what the heck they were doing when they got there, so a lot of them died. But then, they made friends with some really tall native people that wore feathers on their heads who taught them some tricks on how to survive, and they started to fail at life a little bit less."
Lettuce spoke up, "E-Excuse me, I've studied a little bit of American culture, I don't think that's how it went—"
Regardless, Julia kept going and cut her off. "They eventually had a whole lot to eat after a good harvest, and they celebrated by having a huge feast and invited the natives, too. They partied hard for three days and then they got sick of it so they stopped. And so, once a year in November, Americans eat themselves sick around the date of the first day and then sleep it off the next morning. The end."
Kuri clapped enthusiastically. "That was beautiful." she commented.
"So… let's eat!" said Lavi.
The all ran over to the table; wanting to claim their ideal seat. Oh, and to make sure they got a proper helping before a-certain-Exorcist ate all of it for them.
"Eh? There's name tags." said Rhode. "And I'm sitting next to Allen!" she perked up.
"I'm on his other side…" said Lenalee. "…and I'm also next to Lavi."
Amu sat down at her spot and then Tadase and Ikuto sat down on both sides of her, because that's where their name tags were.
"You planned this, didn't you?" asked Tadase, looking at Kuri. Kuri nodded shamelessly. Obviously, she had planned on semi-continuing the game while the feast was going on by putting certain love interests next to each other.
Meanwhile, Ikuto was nose-to-nose with Amu again and Amu was turning the same color as a Shirley Temple soda.
"Hey, you cut that out, Ikuto Tsukiyomi! She's my girlfriend!" whined Tadase.
"As I seem to recall, you two broke up, and that makes her available, right?" teased Ikuto. "Besides, just how many times has she let you sleep in her bed with her? I can count off a few times for me…"
Tadase blushed. "Amu, you…what…?"
Amu's face lit on fire. "No! It's not what it sounds like! I mean, it kind of seems like… ah…no, it's not! I mean, he was sick… and, uh…!"
"I'm sensing a love triangle going on." snickered Sokka. Then Katara reminded him about Suki, Princess Yue, and Toph, and he shut up.
Kuukai put his arm around Utau. Her cheeks got the slightest tinge of pink and she looked the other way.
"Come on, you like sitting next to me, like this." insisted Kuukai.
Utau crossed her arms. "So what if I do? I see bowls of ramen over there. I think we both know what's going to happen once those get passed by here." She looked at him. "Race me?"
He smirked. "You're on."
Nagihiko—now no longer dressed a Nadeshiko—sat next to Rima. He was beaming brightly.
"You look happy." remarked Rima.
Nagihiko smiled at her. "Well, this "Thanksgiving" celebration has probably been the most sensible thing we've done since we got here." he said.
Rima stared at her plate.
"You know, before you "accidentally" stabbed me with that needle, you looked pretty cute in your little clown costume, in my opinion." added Nagihiko.
"Are you chara changed with Rhythm?" asked the small blond girl suspiciously.
"Actually, no." he replied.
Rima smiled. "In that case, I'll admit that you made a very convincing girl; dressed as Nadeshiko."
This caused Nagihiko's smile to fade slightly. "Somehow…I can't help but feel like that was an insult…" he muttered.
"Okay, everyone! Grab what you can!" commanded Kuri. "Or it will be fed to Allen as leftovers!"
They all did as such, and no plate was left untouched. As it turns out Kuri had not been kidding and Allen quickly finished an entire serving platter of turkey, and then another plateful of ham.
Within the hour everyone was full, yes, even Allen. Actually, that was the only time any of the other Exorcists had ever seen him seem to put on a little bit weight—his stomach was bloated, just like in a cartoon. (They were all usually on anime diets, in which none of them ever gained any weight no matter what)
"Allen's turned into a human dango…" murmured Ichigo. "Should we be worried?"
Toph waved it off. "He'll be fine. He just needs to run really fast for about three seconds and he'll be his normal unnaturally-fit-no-matter-what self again."
Kuri looked around. "Is everyone finished?"
Yaya, the ever hyper Ace's chair from Shugo Chara that the author keeps forgetting to mention, was enjoying a sweet slice of cherry pie.
Kuri smiled. "Good!" and the food disappeared, to Yaya's dismay.
And so, the game continued. Kuri rebuilt the stage, and the contestants sat down in their seats.
"I'm afraid Kid's gotta go. I'm bored with 'im." said Kuri.
Jade frowned. "What?"
Kuri shrugged. "I'm making a portal for him to leave in. He just can't stay here for too long. Trapping the regular anime and cartoon characters here is one thing, but I don't want Shinigami on my back about kidnapping his son."
The red and blue eyed girl shook her head violently. "No...no way! He just... no!"
Despite Jade's protests, a portal was opened and fenced off from the other players, who had rebelious looks in their eyes. Death the Kid calmly stepped up to the portal.
"Wait!" Jade cried. She ran up the stage steps and stood in front of Kid.
"Yes?" he asked tiredly.
Jade blushed a little. "Um, I, w-well-"
Kid finished her sentence for her by kissing her on the cheek. When he backed off, he looked just as surprised about it as her.
"You always... you always poised yourself symmetrically. It was attractive." he explained somewhat sheepishly. (Kid? Sheepish? What kind of crack fic am I writing?) Then, he jumped into the portal, where it closed and vanished without a trace.
Jade lightly put her fingers on the spot where she had been kissed. "I knew it would work." she said. She had purposely always stood in a position that aligned her body symmetrically, which was Death the Kid's weak point. She had never expected it to work so well.
Kuri cleared her throat. "Eh hmm, yes, well then. Good work there Jade. Congrats. Too bad he's never coming back. You have a fanfic account? I'd support that pairing. Pfft. Kidding, I don't support OCxCanon-character. Okay, so... let's see who goes next?"
"I suppose you'll be ending the chapter on a cliffhanger again?" asked Katara.
Kuri nodded. "Of course!"
Bye! I'm not sure what to write for the next chapter... plus it's eleven o'clock (23:00?) at night on Thanksgiving as I write this...
Got any ideas for a chapter? I will most likely use it if you want it put in. Heck, I'll probably get down on my knees and thank you. *hating my eternal writer's block*
