Title: Santa
Author: schyra
Rating: ?
Pairings/Characters: Lucia, Haru, Deep Snow, Elie
Warnings: XD
Summary: Because Haru is naïve, and this so would happen.
Author's Note: BAHAHAHA!
-~~~-oOo-~~~-
026 - Santa
Because Haru is naïve, and this so would happen.
Lucia sighed.
"Augh. Snow."
"What about Deep Snow?" Elie asked.
"Not Deep Snow. Snow snow."
Haru blinked at him. "What's wrong with snow?" he chirped. "I like snow. Snow likes snow. Snow is fun!"
Lucia glanced back. "I don't mind the snow. It's the shovelling of it off the front step and the trudging through it across the lawn to get to school and the wet carpet because it melts off your boots once you get inside."
Haru turned to Deep Snow, sitting silently beside them.
"You hear that Snow? He doesn't mind you a bit. It's just that he has to shovel you off the front step and trudge through you across the lawn to get to school and you wet the carpet."
Elie giggled, lifting her hands from her lap to cover her mouth.
Lucia and his adopted brother glared. Haru grinned.
"Don't you have to shovel the lawn?" Lucia drawled.
"Nope!" Elie chirped. "Daddy does it!"
"...Figures."
"We don't have a lawn. Besides, dad slips and falls on the ice first thing in the morning. That dislodges all the snow on the roof."
"..."
"...I can see how winter has been made so convenient for you."
Haru smiled at Lucia's deadpan tone.
"Well," he continued. "Snow is always good. I mean, snow brings Santa! And that means presents! And stuff! So snow is good! Because we get presents! And stuff!"
Elie stopped examining her nails and blinked. His other two companions just stared.
The three exchanged looks across Haru's table as all about them other students went on with lunch, eating and chatting with friends.
"Haru...," Lucia finally began. "You know that... Santa isn't real right?"
There was a small, awkward silence.
Slowly, Haru turned to look at him. "...He isn't?" Lucia quirked a brow, not because of the question (okay, maybe also because of the question) but because Haru had the most betrayed look upon his face he had ever seen.
"No," Haru looked just a little bit more crestfallen. "He isn't."
"Yeah..," Elie smiled. "I mean.. daddy told me he was Santa when I was twelve." She looked across the table. "How about you Deep Snow? How did you find out?"
Deep Snow rested his head on one hand. "...I tried sending a letter to him so I hopped on the internet to Google his address... but when I saw the sentence 'the origin of Santa' I... well, it kinda dawned on me."
Elie nodded understandingly and patted his shoulder.
She looked to her right.
"What about you, Lucia?"
Her blonde classmate shrugged and looked carelessly out the window. "... I knew Santa wasn't blonde."
There was a brief pause as everyone imagined King dressed up in a Santa suit. Elie struggled valiantly not to giggle (unfortunately losing), and even Deep Snow and Lucia had small smirks on their lips.
"Well, of course not," Haru huffed. "Santa has grey hair!"
The rest of them blinked.
"Haru," Lucia said again. "Santa isn't real."
"But.. but..," Haru began his dispute. "He came to our house! Dad had to go pick up grandpa and Santa came and we gave him cookies and milk and he let us sit on his lap and told us stories about the North Pole and gave us PRESENTS and mom took photos and when Dad came back (sans grandpa, apparently it was too cold for his joints so he couldn't travel) Santa'd gone and he'd missed him! We talked about it for weeks!"
"..."
"And then grandpa came later with Genma, because his joints felt better."
"..."
"It... was obviously... your father."
"What? No way!"
"Yes way. Your father. He dressed up as Santa."
"But dad went to pick up grandfather!"
"..."
Lucia put his head in his hands. Here it goes again. "The way your family raised you..," he muttered, feeling another headache coming on. "What? What about my family?" Haru enquired.
"...Look," Lucia gestured with his hands. "If Santa Claus is real, then how on Earth are there multiples of him in every shopping centre in the world, hmm?" Deep Snow nodded. "All at the same time, attending to hundreds of children." Another gesture, for emphasis. "Every year."
There. There was no way Haru could dispute that.
Deep Snow and Elie sighed to themselves. Really, sometimes Haru was just too sheltered...
Haru was quiet and thought for a moment.
"Body doubles."
Lucia, who had just drawn breath to start another conversation, stopped and choked on it.
"...What?" he managed to wheeze.
Haru nodded sagely. "Body doubles. To prevent assassination."
The other three stared. Lucia spluttered for a moment, while Deep Snow's jaw graciously detached itself and hung wide open.
"Haru," Elie asked, disbelieving,"Who would want to... kill Santa Claus?"
"The non-believers!"
"…..Oi." Lucia smacked a hand to his forehead.
"No, really Lucia! They're evil hob-goblins, the ones that are fighting against Santa's Elves! They come from the South Pole and are against Christmas because it ruins their already ruinous economy!"
"Who...Who.. told you that?" Deep Snow questioned faintly, reeling from the lapse in sanity their conversation had taken.
"Nee-chan did."
"...I see." Deep Snow saw all too well.
"Haru," Lucia ground out. "There are no hob-goblins. They don't exist."
Haru looked confused.
"...Really?"
"Really."
"..Not even in Makai?"
"...No, Haru, not even in Makai."
Haru frowned, hand cradling his lip in classic 'thinking' posture. He'd have to go home and check with his nee-chan on that. After all, she couldn't possibly have been lying to him. What reason would she have, other than to sate his then-and-as-of-yet-now-still overly active imagination? She may have just been mistaken...
"Okay... say," he began again, laying the imaginary facts out with his hands. "Say that there are no hob-goblins."
Lucia groaned and buried his head in his arms. Deep Snow adopted a look of pity, while Elie's lip mysteriously twitched.
"...If it really is just a whole buncha people in suits.. then... It's a Conspiracy!"
"….What?" Lucia breathed once again, for the second time in fifteen minutes. 'I just can't believe this kid.'
"It's a conspiracy! They're people trying to unite the world under Santa! Or, like.. they're actually the elves, agents of Santa Claus, because seriously, the guy can't be in all places at once."
Lucia made a disbelieving little sound and buried his head in his arms once again.
"Well, what else could it be?" Haru asked his friends. "Who else left sooty footprints all over the floor? My eyes don't lie on Christmas morning. My presents were real."
Deep Snow closed his eyes in the face of the illogic.
"And he had to have read our letters because we got what we wrote on them! C'mon! Santa's real, you guys!" Haru pouted. "Now stop making stuff up about alternate realities where Santa is really just multiple fathers and his secret workshop in the North Pole doesn't actually exist."
"...We're not-"
"And where would you hide that many fake Santa suits?"
"..."
Elie sighed. "Okay, Haru. ...You win. He's real." Haru beamed. "...As long as you can keep deluding yourself." She got up and stretched. One by one, the other three followed as they left the classroom, heading off to the cafeteria.
"..."
"..Y'know, maybe Santa knows magic! That's how he gets to places so fast! And how he fits down the chimney, and gets away with breaking and entering and stuff."
A collection of sighs.
"Hey guys, think Sieg knows Santa?"
"..."
END.
