Thanks to AK for all her help and patiente editing this fic. Waves to night!!!!
Helena sat on the sofa, with a leg over the arm of it and staring at the far wall silent. She was really annoyed. Since the night before, she had felt uncomfortable, angry. Barbara had left that morning to go to Bermuda with Wade. She said she would be back on Sunday, but what the fuck.
Why did she date that boring man?
They were totally different, Barbara deserved someone much better.
"So, Helena," Dr Quinzel said, seated on her single couch with her notebook over her legs. She was wearing a blue sleeved blouse, trying to catch the brunette's attention, rather unsuccessfully. Her mind was in another world. "You haven't said a word today. Has something happened?"
"You know I didn't want to come here today, doctor," the brunette said, glaring at her. She should shut her mouth "So, be grateful I'm here."
"This attitude won't help your recovery."
"The state pays you," Helena leaned forward, grabbing her hands. "So, why don't we just let the time run out and everybody will be happy?"
"Because I'm a professional Helena and I really want to help you."
"Sure," the brunette said, sarcastically.
"You have been making good progress," the blonde played with her pen between her fingers, "but I think that if you cooperate a bit more, these sessions will be more helpful."
The brunette sighed. "Do you want to help me?"
"Of course, Helena."
"Fine." She stood up and went toward the shelf. "Let's finish this stupid session right now."
The blonde chuckled. She observed the brunette's movements, she was tense and something was definitely bothering her.
"Is it Barbara again?"
The brunette didn't answer. It meant she had hit the point. Quinzel was bothered, why was the woman so obsessed with someone that didn't notice her?
She let her notebook fall to the side and went to her.
"You said she will never look at you, she is straight. And that you respect her too much. That you would never try… anything with her…. Or you were lying?" She stood at her side.
Helena turned to see her, not in a very good mood, by the expression in her face. "Don't walk inside a place you don't know, you will regret it, doc."
Quinzel smiled and fixed her eyes on her, the brunette had something that really attracted her, she loved her delicate features.
"Are you threatening me?" she said.
"I'm warning you."
"Tell me, Helena," the doctor walked around her and stopped at her right side. "Why do you deny that you love her? Are you afraid to love?"
"You don't know me," the brunette said. "I'm not afraid of anything."
Quinzel smirked and moved in front of her, closer. Closer than Helena would like.
"I think you are a young, strong… you deserve someone… powerful."
"Maybe you don't understand," Helena walked past her and went toward the far window, "I don't need anyone."
Dr. Quinzel smiled to herself and followed her.
"Is Barbara still with her boyfriend?"
Helena stood in front of the window and looked at the horizon. Quinzel walked to her slowly, giving her time to think, to answer. She was a challenge - an interesting and sexy challenge.
Helena remembered the nice weekend she had shared with the redhead. She had been so nice and gentle. Barbara had preferred her over him, knowing she was sad. She always was so tender with her. And now she had gone with Wade. She felt a deep sadness, she wanted scream, yell, hit the wall, she wanted to run and escape.
Escape her own feelings.
"She went with him to Bermuda," Helena finally said.
"So, she left you…" Quinzel stood close to her. She moved her face close to her ear and whispered "Again… she left you."
The brunette's eyes found hers.
"Love means pain, Helena," the doctor whispered, her eyes focused on red lips. "If there is no pain, love couldn't exist. You love, but you love the wrong person, she is confusing your feelings, she is not letting you breathe. You need to move away, she is hurting you."
Helena moved her head to the other side.
"She is nice with me."
"You said she betrayed you." Quinzel moved back and walked behind her. "How she could be nice with you?"
"She is…" Helena found herself suddenly pinned by Quinzel's eyes "She is nice, she is always there for me."
"Yes, I see," the blonde laughed, walking to the other side of the room. "Flying away to have fun Wade." She turned and looked at her "Why do you think she left you here… alone…?"
"Wade is her boyfriend… she loves him."
"So, you are in love with someone that doesn't know you exist." The doctor moved again to her and brushed her arm against her when she walked past.
Helena felt uncomfortable. Quinzel always made her feel unconformable when she moved that close to her.
"You need to move on, Helena," Quinzel mumbled softly. "You need to open your eyes to the world, to other people."
The brunette took a step back, but Quinzel didn't let her go, she kept moving close to her. The blonde took her hand.
"Let me help you. I can help you, do you know it?"
"Yes."
"So…" Quinzel moved her hand up and touched the fabric of the brunette's coat. She smiled and fixed her eyes on the woman. "I just need you to be honest with yourself. Tell me everything you feel, everything that is inside your heart."
The young woman pulled her hand back and stared out the window again.
"I have a professional interest in helping you."
"I guess therapy doesn't work on me."
"Oh? I wouldn't say that." The blonde rested her back on the window. "I was the one who made you see inside your feelings, that helped you express your rage. You have exposed yourself ... to me."
The brunette blinked. The blonde moved forward, again crossing the thin line and invading Helena's personal space.
"You've crossed over the threshold that was holding you back. You must now be defined by you. Not "the bartender," not "the daughter of Bruce Wayne", ... just you. Who are you Helena? What do you want?"
The dark haired woman stared at her, not knowing what to answer. It amused the psychiatrist, it confirmed that she had the ace.
Batgirl stood at the top of a building with her arms crossed.
She had shared a good amount of time with Wade the past weekend, but it was as if the magic between them had gone. She found herself bored, just waiting for the time to pass so she could return and join the brunette for sweeps.
She had missed Helena.
More than she thought.
She inhaled deeply and lowered her head, observing the cars moving ten stories below.
She had been trying to tell herself that it was her imagination, that she was confusing her feelings, but it seemed her heart wanted to take her to other places.
It was not right. She was her best friend's daughter, she was younger than her, she was….
"….gorgeous," she mumbled when Huntress landed a few feet away from her.
She was wearing very tight black pants that seemed to be pasted to her legs and a sleeveless blouse under her short coat. The brunette brushed off her pants and walked to her.
The redhead felt her mouth go dry and cleared her throat. "You're late."
"Well, next time you take the guys in back and I'll break into a building, looking for information."
Huntress wasn't in a good mood. Who could be? Barbara had been gone all weekend with that moron Wade. She had been dying to know if she was back and she had called, all business, a few hours ago to work on their case.
"You are not as fast as I thought," Batgirl smirked.
"You want your ass kicked," Huntress growled at her.
"I missed you, too."
"Don't try to be funny with me."
"Wow, wow… Someone is in bad mood," the redhead noted, resting her hands on her hips.
"Someone is trying to be smart." The dark haired woman turned to see her.
Batgirl frowned. She stepped closer to her and leaned forward a few inches. She lifted her hand and touched Huntress' chin but the brunette moved back, rejecting her touch.
"You are bruised, it was a rough fight, eh?" Batgirl said, observing her.
"Just a bad move."
"Well, I'm glad you stopped them." The redhead turned and took out her batarang. "We still have work to do here."
"Where?"
"There." She pointed to the back, where there was a truck. Several men were moving big wooden boxes inside.
"Mmmm." The brunette gazed down.
Batgirl threw the batarang and grabbed the rope with both hands "Wanna join?"
She jumped down not saying a word more.
"Great." The brunette sighed and jumped down. Fighting was good, she loved fight, and more so when she was pissed.
Batgirl gazed to the brunette when she was fighting, she was agile, strong, a demon. The men could barely catch her.
But she was very rough, more rough than usual. It pissed her off, she don't need to be that violent.
When the fight finished. She tied up the thugs and turned, looking for the brunette. She was already climbing a building in front of her. She used her batarang to reach her.
When she landed on the rooftop, the dark vigilante was wiping her dusty hands on her pants.
"What's wrong with you?" Batgirl asked, annoyed walking to her.
"Nothing."
"You were pretty rough with those men, why?"
The brunette gazed down, where the men were tied up. "They are lucky."
"Lucky?"
"I didn't kill them," Helena said nonchalantly.
The redhead glared at her. "We don't kill."
"You, don't kill. Anyway, why do you care so much for those fucking bastards? They were going to sell chemicals illegally, the same ones used to create chemical weapons." The lithe brunette faced her. "Do you know what those weapons do to people?"
"I know it perfectly well," the redhead answered with calm voice.
Dammit, she liked her, she really liked her, but, at the same time, she pissed her off as Batgirl. She never could beat her – verbally or physically.
Batgirl lifted her hand and tried to touch the brunette, but her hand was pushed back.
"Why are you so angry?" the masked woman asked
"I'm not angry. It pisses me off that you think so much of the criminals." She paced and turned her back to her. "They hurt people! They don't deserve anything."
Definitely, Huntress was in bad mood. She looked cute, too.
She didn't love Wade, that was a fact. She loved Helena and every minute she shared with her, the idea of dating a girl seemed less crazy. Every time she went out with Wade, Helena was angry. Could Helena be jealous? Did she feel something for her?
"May I ask you something?" Batgirl asked.
"What?" Huntress turned, glaring at her.
"Why do you sometimes let me touch you and other times you push back?"
"I don't. And you already asked that."
"You do." The redhead walked closer. "Why?"
Helena could feel the warmth of the redhead's body close. It made her hormones boil, and she looked so damn sexy in that outfit. She didn't want her to get that close, she made her feel so nervous.
"You always have this 'back and forth' game. I don't understand why. Some days you seem very comfortable with me and other days you run away."
"I don't like Batgirl," Helena grumbled, turning to face the wall at her back.
The redhead stood at her side, close, very close with her eyes buried on her. The brunette was nervous, more than nervous.
"Why did you kiss me that night, Helena?" Batgirl asked in a very soft, low voice.
The question made the brunette shiver.
"Had you forget that kiss?"
The brunette swallowed. How foget it? That kiss had been haunting her everyday, every night.
"I was drugged," she hurried to say, avoiding her look.
"The truth, Helena," the redhead asked, again pitching her voice low.
She tried to move away, but the redhead blocked her way.
Helena's eyes turned feral, she growled and pushed the redhead against a wall.
The impact against the cold concrete was .
The brunette buries her eyes on her.
The redhead wondered if she had pushed her too much. She never thought she would react like that.
"You don't know..." Huntress growled.
"Let me know then...?" Batgirl was interrupted when a rain of bullets hit above their heads.
"Shit," Huntress cursed pushing her down covering her head and lying on top of the redhead.
"Did you piss someone off?" the masked woman asked.
"Just you."
"I don't think so."
"Maybe it was you."
"I choose my friends well."
"I don't think so," Huntress said. "I'm your friend."
"Point for you." The redhead moved her hands to her belt.
"Hey, no touching!"
"You are on top of me."
"My favorite position." The brunette grinned.
"Very funny. When I say run, run." Batgirl took out a ball and threw it to the rooftop. A blinding light filled the place
"Now, run!"
Helena ran toward the door that led to the floors below, breaking it. Batgirl followed her. Both rolled over the floor and crouched.
"That was close," the redhead breathed heavily. "Did you see anything?"
"No, I was kind of busy saving my ass."
"Yeah, me too."
"It seems we have some new members in our fan club." The brunette stood up. "All right, now it's your turn to be the guinea pig."
"Me?" Batgirl asked.
"You distract them while I get behind them," Helena mumbled.
"This is not a democracy," the redhead said. "You play the role of guinea pig pretty well."
"Did I tell you that I hate you?" Fuck, really she pissed her off.
"Yes, thousands of times." Batgirl smirked.
"You are really irritating."
"Sometimes." Batgirl turned and moved downstairs "Let's go."
"Crap. I'll kill you." The brunette growled before running outside again.
This time the shots were not heard. She moved behind a water tank and gazed toward the building where the shots had come from.
She waited there a few seconds.
She looked around trying to figure out what was going on, at least her senses didn't give her any signal of danger. She rolled and hid behind a pile of old boxes.
No one shot at her.
She moved her head slowly out of the pile of boxes trying to look.
"Buh!!"
"Shit!" the brunette growled and jumped back. Why the hell hadn't her fucking sixth sense worked? She lifted her head and saw Batgirl laughing in front of her.
"Sorry, I couldn't resist." The redhead smiled, extending her hand to help her stand up.
"Ha, ha, very funny." The young woman refused her help and stood up alone.
"There is no one there. They left." She waved toward the building.
"Did you find anything?"
"Yes," Batgirl lifted a plastic bag "Empty bullets, I'll examine them."
"Who the fuck could they be?"
"You are hurt." The redhead narrowed her eyes noticing Helena's back coat was torn. Maybe when she had pushed her back and covered her with her body, a bullet had scratched her.
"It's a scratch." Huntress turned her head, trying to see her own back.
Batgirl eyed her. She was really beautiful, she liked her.
"Let's go back, I'll need to treat that."
"I'm fine."
"I know, but I'd prefer to keep an eye on you. I don't want another poison bullet surprising us."
The brunette sighed and nodded. She was right.
The elevator doors at Clocktower opened and Batgirl stepped outside.
"Come to the lab," Batgirl said, stepping out and removing her gloves.
The brunette winced when she removed her coat, arriving at Clock tower. Damn. It hurt. She followed Batgirl and checked her coat. Shit. It was ruined and it had been very expensive.
Fighting crime sucked.
She sat on the medical table at the lab and examined her coat again, trying to determine if it could be fixed.
The movement of the redhead when she removed her cape was sexy.
That tight black costume fit her wonderfully.
And she had a pretty nice butt.
"Remove your blouse," the redhead said, turning to face Helena.
Helena glared at her.
The redhead arched an eyebrow.
"I'm not going to take your virtue if that worries you," she said sarcastically, grinning.
"I hate you," Helena grumbled looking at her.
"Old news." Batgirl put a tray with gauzes next to her. "Come on."
The woman took off her cowl, her long red hair fell gracefully over her shoulders.
The movement of her head as she brushed her hair back was sexy as hell. She then removed her upper body armor to have better mobility.
Helena's eyes opened wide. She felt her mouth dry. She was wearing a white top that made her look so hot. She felt her heart rate skyrocket.
"All right," the redhead said, checking the items on the tray. "Turn around please."
Helena blushed, knowing the Barbara had caught her eyeing her.
"Is it necessary for you wear that fucking costume?" the young woman said annoyed, trying to distract her.
"You know the 'secret identity' thing." Barbara took gauze and poured alcohol on it.
"You are so fucking annoying as Batgirl."
"Well, you are not a piece of cake as Huntress. Remove your blouse."
"I prefer you as Oracle…" the girl obeyed "…or Barbara."
The redhead chuckled and began cleaning her back.
The touch of her soft hands on her back was magic. She closed her eyes enjoying the contact. Her fingers were delicate, soft, warm.
She wanted so much to touch her, feel her. Barbara was wonderful. Barbara's tenderness affected her in ways she couldn't understand. What if she opened her heart and told her about her feelings? No, she couldn't...
She didn't want to open her heart, it would mean that anyone could hurt her. She didn't want that and… what if she lost her as she had lost her mom?
She felt Barbara's fingers touching her face. It created an electric jolt inside her. It was hard to think when she touched her with such gentleness.
"Hel?" Barbara asked.
She opened her eyes feeling numb and dazed by the touch of her fingers on her skin. She found intense green eyes regarding her.
"Yeah?"
"I'm finished." She smiled.
"Yeah?"
Barbara nodded, amused. "I'm glad it was just a scratch."
Helena couldn't read her gaze. It was tender, curious, her eyes sparkled.
"It's done?"
"Yes," she pointed at her chest. "Cover yourself."
The brunette looked down and noticed she had dropped the towel.
"Shit." She hurried to pick up the towel and blushed, covering herself.
Barbara smiled at her in amusement, it was a cute reaction.
She lifted her hand with the gauze and moved it to her face.
"You are dirty," Barbara said, rubbing the gauze gently over her cheek. "It was a rough fight."
Helena kept still. She closed her eyes again under the soft touch. She loved Barbara's hand on her. The redhead brushed her hair back.
Helena half opened her eyes and found intense green eyes regarding her.
She was lost in them. Barbara looked so beautiful; the redhead cupped her cheek and caressed it tenderly. It felt marvelous, she leaned her face into the touch and closed her eyes again.
She squeezed her fist. She wanted… she wanted so much to kiss her.
Suddenly, she felt soft lips on hers.
It was a brush at first, an electric brush that made her heart beat faster.
Barbara was kissing her.
The younger woman leaned forward, softly, lovingly brushing her lips against the redhead's. She gasped and felt Barbara demanding entrance. She surrendered, opening to her, tasting that lovely mouth. She was drowning in a sea of pleasure, her left hand coming to rest on the side of the redhead's face as Barbara leaned in towards her body.
As the the otjer woman deepened the kiss, Helena panicked. She trembled, suddenly frightened by the intimacy and what it meant.
She pushed Barbara's away, ducking her head and blinking back tears. "Stop," she said.
"Helena?" the redhead looked for her eyes. Why was she crying?
"Just stop…"
"What's wrong?" Barbara took her chin gently in her fingers.
The girl stood up and took her blouse. "I'm sorry…"
"I'm not," Barbara said softly. "I love you."
The brunette turned to see her, scared.
"You can't!"
"Why not?"
"It's wrong…" Helena moved her head and hurried toward the elevator.
"Helena, come here." Barbara followed her.
"I can't, Barbara…" the brunette said.
The redhead didn't understand. She stopped in front of the elevator doors.
"We need to talk."
The girl just lowered her head. The doors closed.
Barbara felt her heart break.
The doctor watched, fascinated by the girl's movements. She was tense, angry, she radiated many emotions in her body language. It excited the blonde. She knew she could control her through her emotions.
The brunette had arrived, but this time she hadn't been as aggressive as usual. This time she was confused, sad. It made her vulnerable, she knew since the beginning of the therapies that Helena was like a volcano, ready to explode, to let out all the emotions inside her.
Helena had talked without much effort. It seemed this might be a good day.
Quinzel leaned forward in her seat, crossing her hands with interest.
"So, she kissed you?" she asked.
The brunette kept silent a few seconds, staring at the floor and biting the nail of her thumb.
"Why do you think she did that?"
"She said she loves me," the girl mumbled.
"She loves you?" the confession surprised Doctor Quinzel. This was something she didn't expect. "How? You said she is straight."
"She is."
"I hope you understand this is confusing." The blonde moved back.
"It's confusing for me too." Helena moved her head.
"She is still dating Wade Brixton, right?"
"Yes."
"He is her boyfriend."
Helena glared at her. "I said yes." What part of this did she not understand?
"Helena," Quinzel took a sip of water from a glass close to her on a table. "We need to establish all the points to be sure of what is affecting you."
"Wade doesn't affect me."
"I know, it's not him, it's Barbara." She observed the brunette moving uncomfortably in her chair when she said the other woman's name. "Tell me, Helena, What did you feel when she kissed you?"
The brunette closed her eyes and took her hand to her forehead. Maybe it had been a mistake to talk about this with her, but she was so confused, so desperate.
"Helena?" the blonde doctor stood up. "What did you feel? Was it good?" she paced in front of her. "What emotions were in you? Did it disgust you?"
"No…" Helena shook her head "I kissed her back… It was marvelous, I never felt anything like that…" she clearly could feel Barbara's lips on her. "It was magic…"
Harley stopped her walk and tapped her index finger against her chin.
It was bad news. It was not good, not for her plans. She had investigated the brunette, she had a troubled life, well known as a party girl, in love with Barbara Gordon, but refusing to admit it to her. She had been trying flirt with her to catch her attention, unsuccessfully, but, now, Barbara Gordon had kissed her, the woman was known to be a serious person, not usually involved in scandals. She'd known Helena since she was a kid and Helena had been her friend for years, it was possible that she had fallen in love, too.
Yes, definitely bad news.
Helena meant a large sum of money, her father was millionaire, one of the richest men in the country. Being with her was a good business and now the redhead seemed to be screwing it.
"Tell me Helena," she asked after a few seconds. "What are your feelings for her?"
"I'm not sure."
"Have you thought that she is involved with a man?" Quinzel asked.
The young woman exhaled deeply. "I know."
"She is straight." The blonde stood up behind her and crossed her arms. "She could be… just trying to have a new experience, but there is a big difference between that and love. Maybe you love her, but don't think she could love you."
The brunette stiffened.
Quinzel smiled. She put her hands on the back of Helena's seat and bent lightly.
"Tell me how she made you feel, Helena."
Helena inhaled deeply, this was not easy to talk about.
"Helena?"
"Full… alive…"
"Just that?"
"Yes."
"If you feel just that…" Harleen frowned, "why did you run away?"
Helena moved uncomfortably on her chair.
"Helena…" Quinzel leaned in and whispered close to her ear, fixing her gaze on the back of her head "There was something else, tell me, what else did you feel?"
The brunette bit her lips, she shook her head.
"What made you run away?" The blonde put her hand over her shoulder. "I can't help if you aren't honest with yourself… and me…."
Helena hesitated, she wasn't sure what to say. She was still confused by the events of the prior day. This was something she didn't expect. She didn't sleep the night before, trying to think clearly, trying to organize her ideas.
"You must trust me, Helena," the blonde talked with a smooth voice. "I'm the only one that can help you and you know it."
"Fear…" Helena finally mumbled, lowering her head.
"Fear? Why fear?"
"Of losing her… "
That was wonderful, Quinzel smiled, she had taken her to the point she wanted.
"Of losing her? As you lost your mother… right?"
"Yes, I don't want lose her, too." The young woman stood up and walked to the window.
"Helena, my dear Helena." Quinzel said gently, walking behind her. "Let's go back in time. You lost mother, the person you most loved. You gave her everything, and you lost her. She is the only person you loved, and you lost her. Yes, it's possible that you could lose Barbara too."
The blonde stood in front of her, moving her pencil between her fingers.
"But let's check the other facts of your life, your father never took care of you. He refused to take revenge on your mother's death. He didn't love you, either. Every time you love someone, you lose them or they betray you…"
Helena had her jaw clenched avoiding Quinzel's eyes; it was good.
"Barbara too, but she didn't betray you once, she did it more times. You told me that, right?"
The dark haired woman turned very angry. The blonde was sure she would hit her, but she didn't hold back. She was taking her where she wanted.
"She betrayed you," Quinzel insisted.
"Yes." Helena said annoyed.
"That is not good, Helena," Quinzel moved her face forward, trying to find the young woman's eyes. When the dark haired woman looked her, she raised her free hand and stroked gently at the satin skin of Helena's cheek. Excitement began to edge out her feelings. She was so beautiful, she wanted so badly to kiss her.
She moved forward a few inches, but the brunette turned and moved to the center of the room.
"You are so good," Quinzel mumbled, regaining her composure, "but you are in love with someone that betrayed your trust and that just wants to have a bit of fun with you."
"She said she loves me," Helena grumbled.
"But she's still with Wade. She loves you?" She chuckled and moved back. "I don't think so. She just went with him to Bermuda the last weekend, no?"
The brunette sighed and her face expressed a deep sadness. Barbara was the only one that made everything better in her life.
The blonde walked to her desk and sat. She took a paper on her desk.
"The court reviewed the case and they think you need additional sessions."
"What?" Helena's head snapped up to her. "Why? Today is my last one."
The blonde extended the paper to her. Helena took it and read.
"Why?"
"You can't deny that you have serious issues to work through."
The brunette returned the paper.
Quinzel closed her notebook and crossed her arms over her desk. "Tell me honestly, how do you feel Helena? How do you feel now?"
The dark haired woman fixed her eyes on her and clenched her jaw.
"Tell me, Helena." Quinzel insisted.
"I'll see you next week," the brunette mumbled in bad mood.
"I want to help you. I can help you, you know," the doctor said. "You don't have anyone else."
The young woman picked up her bag and left, not saying a word.
Quinzel smiled, everything was going according to her plans.
TBC
