Arts and Crafts
It was decided during the last staff meeting that the children should have a guest teacher come in once a week. Well, that was the reason Mr. Tiedoll gave when he showed up to Cross's classroom with a huge cart of art supplies. The redhead was skeptical at first, considering that Tiedoll was crazy and claimed they were the best of friends, but since he always slept through these reported staff meetings, Cross couldn't really rule the crazy man out.
Cross let the man with his circus cart of art supplies in the classroom.
"Cross! How are you and your little ones faring?" Tiedoll asked as he rolled his cart inside.
"They're alive," Cross shrugged.
Tiedoll saw that the children were running around doing whatever they wanted. Some were screaming and fighting while others were literally wreaking havoc as they destroyed toys and threw them at each other.
"My, what a vivacious bunch," Tiedoll marveled.
"Yeah, it's actually supposed to be nap time."
"Really?"
"Yeah, but the little harpies won't let me take one with all their noise," Cross grumbled as led Tiedoll to the front of the class.
"I trust that you're getting used to children now that you're teaching."
Cross shoved some of his brats out of the way with his foot.
"Oi! Calm the fuck down!"
"Ooooh! Nice technique." Tiedoll complimented as he made his way inside. Cross made room for him by shoving some of the kids out of the way with his foot.
"I'm getting the hang of this teaching thing," Cross said. Miranda, who was currently crying over something Rhode had told her ran up to Cross and pulled on his pant leg for attention.
"Stop crying and man the hell up!" Cross growled, bringing his leg up and stomping down. Miranda cried harder now, apologizing that she should've known better and that she'll try twice as hard now to be the man Master Cross wanted her to be. Cross rolled his eyes and sent the little crier off.
"Amazing!" Tiedoll was in awe. "You're a natural! Who knew that a former student of mine would make such an adequate teacher?"
Cross winced at that. Tiedoll indeed was his former teacher, when Cross was like, five. The man hardly aged since then.
"Jesus Christ, how old are you?" Cross asked, a bit disturbed that the man in front of him still looked the same.
Tiedoll blushed, bringing his hand up to cover his mouth as he chuckled. "Hohoho! A gentleman never tells!"
The redhead's eye twitched, regretting even asking.
Cross looked at his rambunctious children from the front of the classroom.
"Oi! You little heathens stop what you're doing and pay attention!"
Cross's voice sounded like a loud clap of thunder as all the children immediately stopped whatever they were doing and looked up, their faces pale with fear.
"Oh, the cruel sound of your voice is a great indicator of the love you have for them!"
Cross frowned as he looked at the children. "Yeah…love." The redhead thought that if he could, he would express his love by cramming bricks down their little throats to drown out the screaming, the crying, and the bitching.
"So today we're going to have a guest teacher teach you something since I don't give a damn about what you learn anymore."
All the children looked at Tiedoll, who smiled and waved at them. Their little eyes narrowed with suspicion.
"Don't worry, he's cool."
The children eased up.
"Hello Mr. Tiedoll," the children droned in unison.
Tiedoll, completely oblivious to the previous aura of animosity from the children clapped his hands together and smiled. "Today we're going do some arts and crafts!"
The class perked up at the news.
"We're going to do some paints, play with clay, and paper crafts! So I'll set up the stations while your teacher…" he said, pointing to Cross who growled, "…will break you off into groups of three!"
Cross sucked his teeth. Not this shit again, he thought as fished for his flask since there was no coffee today in the teacher's lounge again.
"Okay dumbasses; come here to be separated while that fossil over there gets things ready."
The children gathered around quickly. Cross thought it was going to be painful, but he remembered what Komui had said before. Remembering the rule that Bak Chan couldn't be with Lenalee or Kanda, he set the first trio to be Miranda, Krowley, and Bak Chan. Knowing that the twins were never going to separate and seeing that Rhode was their cousin (they looked related and thus Cross deemed it so), the second group became the twins and Rhode. The third group was easy to put together since it was Noise Marie, Lenalee, and Lavi because Allen and Kanda were in their naughty corners for being idiots.
"There, that's good right?" Cross asked as Tiedoll came over with a handful of tiny aprons for the children.
"What about the two children in the corners?" Tiedoll pointed over to Allen and Kanda who were sulking in their respective naughty corners.
"They don't get to play because they were naughty."
"Oh my! That's no good!" Tiedoll said, helping the children put on their aprons. "Would you like an apron too?"
"Hell no! Isn't being their teacher enough punishment?" Cross took another swig of his flask.
Tiedoll set the first group up at the paint station. "But a teacher must interact with his children!"
Cross snorted. "I don't care. You're here to teach them, why should I have to suffer?"
"But art is fun!" The old man chirped as he set the second group at the clay station and the last group at the paper crafts station.
"Now children!" Tiedoll clapped, getting their attention. "In thirty minutes we will all switch, so group one will move to the station group two is in, and two will move to three and three will come back to one. I will let you know of the change, so go crazy! Art is about being spontaneous!"
The children quickly dug in, chattering and giggling away. Cross watched as Tiedoll went to every station, double checking on supplies and assisting any students who were shy or unsure of what to do. His gaze wandered off to the naughty corners where Allen and Kanda stood. The boys looked on with curious gazes.
"And what put them in their naughty corners?" Tiedoll asked, coming back to stand next to Cross.
"They fight too damn much. They're going to tear this place apart if they don't curb their anger" Cross replied as he glared at Allen, who stuck his tongue out at him.
Tiedoll laughed, his glasses twinkling under the florescent light of the classroom.
"Well, you do fight the ones you like. They probably like each other and don't know how to express it yet."
Cross rolled his eyes. They better learn or Cross was going to express his own like by shoving his foot up their little asses.
"Shouldn't they be given a second chance? Look at those puppy dog eyes!"
Cross saw that Allen looked to be on the brink of tears as he sniffled and pouted. Kanda, on the other hand just glared at Cross as he scowled. The redhead didn't know which of the two he wanted to punch harder.
"No."
Tiedoll frowned at Cross's clipped tone. "Oh! Pretty please with sugar on top and whip cream and a cherry with sprinkles and sugar plums!" The old man puckered his lips, screwing his eyes shut, making the deep crows feet wrinkles around them all the more apparent.
"My god, yes! Just don't make that face, my word you're ugly!" Cross recoiled.
Tiedoll smiled, beckoning the boys over. Allen happily joined Tiedoll and Cross, but Kanda didn't budge, preferring to stay away.
"Yuu-chan! Don't you want to play with papa?"
Kanda blushed and hid his face behind his hands.
Cross raised an eyebrow, curious at the relationship between Tiedoll and the she-male.
"You're the kid's dad?" Cross asked, snorting with a sly grin. "I didn't know you still had sperm." Forget shooting blanks, the man was so old he was probably shooting dust.
Tiedoll chuckled, a small blush on his cheeks.
"Oh I've adopted him a while back. Just like I did with Noise Marie over there!" He said pointing to the one Cross deemed the third grader.
"I also have another one in another class named Daisya. I'm the proud papa of three beautiful children!" the old man gushed while clasping his hands together.
Cross shrugged. "Well, guess I learned something new today."
"Don't be silly, I've told you about my children plenty of times during lunchtime! I show you pictures too!"
This was news to Cross as he frowned in thought. Maybe the reason he didn't remember was because he was usually hammered by lunchtime. God knew he had to be if he had to put up with Tiedoll's endless babble and endure a seemingly endless afternoon with a group of rambunctious brats after lunch.
"Whatever." Cross didn't care at this point and wanted the brats to start coloring or whatever so he could take a nap.
"There aren't any stations left so how are tweedle dee and tweedle dumb going to participate?"
"That won't be a problem!" Tiedoll chirped. The old man began to set up a fourth station near them and gathered four chairs and his grumpy son. He handed everyone their aprons. Cross sat down after putting on his apron and with Allen sitting next to him. The man bit back the urge to strike Allen's hideously cute face with a match to light up the cigarette he had in his breast pocket. Tiedoll took his seat next to Kanda who pouted as the man tried to fix his long she-male hair.
Allen looked up to Cross, expectant. The man frowned.
"What, you want me to coo over your ugly face too?"
Allen pouted.
"Now! Let's start with clay!" Tiedoll cheered as he handed out the cold lumps of wet clay. "You can make whatever you want! Like a puppy! Or a nice kitten or a horse."
Cross stared at his lump of clay, blaming it for his current predicament.
The boys began to mold their pieces of clay as Cross looked on, looking bored with his. Tiedoll on the other hand, was happily molding away, smiling at the children and looking on to see what they were doing.
"My, what a wonderful dog that is!" he complimented Kanda, who frowned.
"It's a car," the boy corrected.
"And a beautiful horse it'll be!"
Allen decided to show Cross what he was making in the hopes of getting praise.
"What the hell is that?" the redhead spat, looking at the mutation in Allen's hands.
"It's a kitty!" the white hair boy smiled.
Cross raised an eyebrow at the thing dubbed a "kitty"
"It looks like crap."
Allen frowned.
"I'll check on the other children," Tiedoll said, getting up.
Cross looked on as the old man sat with different groups, laughing and enjoying himself with the children as they talked to him.
The redhead's attention was soon drawn back to his table, however, when he heard the boys arguing.
"No! That's not how you do it!" Allen growled.
"Stop being a dumbass!" Kanda hissed.
And then the boys began to fight, using the clay as their weapons.
Cross reached for his flask again, clearly too sober for this shit.
Tiedoll came back at the sound of all the commotion.
"My word, they sure are fast," he marveled as the boys rolled around. The old man sat down, shaking his head.
Cross shrugged, wanting a smoke.
After a few moments of Cross ignoring the boys, Tiedoll grabbed Cross's attention.
"Here, I made a person." The old man proudly showed off his little figurine. " 'ello mister Cross, my name is mister—"
Cross slammed his fist onto the clay figurine.
"Very good!" Tiedoll cheered. "You're participating!"
Cross rolled his eyes. He was already irritable with the lack of nicotine in his system. He couldn't take the little bastards squawking and hollering any longer and got up to separate and dump the boys back into their chairs.
"Next is painting!" Tiedoll announced, noticing Cross's glare.
The old man busied himself with setting the paint up as well as rotating the other groups into their new set of activities.
Cross saw that at least the boys began painting, glaring at each other as they did so. Maybe this time around, they wouldn't end up fighting.
The redhead picked up a paint brush and decided to paint to. He was bored and couldn't smoke so he might as well as pretend to care. He drew a well endowed handsome stick figure of himself surrounded by big breasted stick figures of women.
"What a wonderful drawing of the zoo!" Tiedoll complimented over his shoulder.
The redhead flinched at their closeness and frowned. "It's me surrounded by beautiful women."
"I'm sure it is!" Tiedoll patted his head. Cross sucked his teeth. He wasn't five!
He glared at Allen who he could've sworn he heard snicker.
Tiedoll quickly went to his chair and showed Cross the beginnings of his drawing, which were rough sketches of some faces.
"Aren't they precious! They're going to be pictures of my boys! Fatherhood is a beautiful thing." The old man sighed and began to paint. "There are struggles, but the rewards are sweet!"
"You're an idiot for getting attached to some brats that aren't even yours," he snorted as he drew himself a crown.
Tiedoll grinned.
"You'll understand once you become a father," the old man said softly.
With the number of women Cross has slept with, he was probably a great, great grand father by now.
Allen tuned and showed his picture to Cross, a red blob of a stick figure with a black squiggly line coming out of it.
"What the hell is that?"
"It's Master Cross!" he boasted. "You like to suck on lollipop sticks and blow out smoke." The boy looked at his picture and then at his teacher, pouting. "Don't you like it?"
Cross usually gave in to the urge to slap Allen when the boy pouted at him like that, but today just wasn't his day as he sighed and drew a crown on Allen's rendition of his awesomeness.
"There, you were missing my crown."
The boy grinned going back to his picture. Cross shook his head, disappointed with himself at missing a golden opportunity to further destroy Allen's self esteem. He must not have enough alcohol in his system. He took a large swig of his flask, enjoying the burn of the amber liquid run down his throat and into his belly.
But the moment of bliss was short lived as the sound of a crash erupted. He looked to see Allen and Kanda covered in paint and rolling around as they fought. Tiedoll immediately went to try to separate them.
"C-crafts time!" he nervously called out to them.
Crafts time wasn't any different. The boys didn't even start to make anything as they just jumped right into fighting each other, with glitter and glue sticks as their new arena.
Cross retracted to the story time area, watching his class from his rocking chair. He also watched the boys fight, hoping for them to tire themselves out. He had his money on Allen this time as the boy shoved a glue stick up Kanda's nose.
Even Tiedoll, who initially tried to get the boys into making crafts, had given up, sitting instead with different groups and helping them with their art.
"Master Cross."
Lenalee and Lavi come over with Tiedoll. The pair of children looked at their teacher with apprehensive looks.
"Go on," Tiedoll said, encouraged them.
"We made you a gift!" Lavi shoved the piece of paper at Cross.
Cross looked at the picture of himself riding a damn unicorn.
"I don't want it, it's gay."
The children's bottom lips quivered as their eyes began to water.
"Come on now. They worked very hard at making it for you," Tiedoll warned, showing Cross that the children were going to cry…and cry and cry and cry, until Cross cried.
Cross did not what to hear the little harpies screaming so he sucked his teeth and took the picture, grudgingly.
"Thank you, it's beautiful."
Lenalee and Lavi smiled, skipping away to gloat and brag about it to the other children.
"Wasn't the precious? The children love you!"
"It's annoying," Cross snorted, shoving the picture in his pocket.
Miranda came up to them a few minutes later. The small girl handed Cross another picture.
"No!" he barked.
Miranda flinched, and her eyes began to water. Cross rolled his eyes.
"Alright already!"
About an hour later Cross was sitting on a treasure trove of gifts. He wore a paper yellow necklace as a gold chain and a crown. All around him were various pictures of himself and his many adventures with Barry the unicorn and some clay figurines laid about at his feet. He picked one up and decided that he'll use it as an astray at home since beer cans stopped being classy like, yesterday.
Cross figured that the gifts were a sign that he had complete and utter control over these little monsters as they admired and worshiped him. He took the gifts only because not taking them would ignite a group of screams and cries that would surely make his head burst. Tiedoll thought otherwise, saying that Cross cared about his children. Cross thought Tiedoll needed to shut the fuck up before he made the kids report the old man to the cops for touching them wrong.
The class was in the process of cleaning up when a loud crash was heard followed by the sound of two boys crying. It seemed that in their struggle, Allen and Kanda rolled into a book case, knocking it down and having the books land on them. Tiedoll was immediately over there, picking the sobbing children up. Cross growled, getting up to see what the hell was going on.
"Are they hurt?" the redhead asked, eyeing the boys, but not checking for any injuries.
"A little scrape here and there," Tiedoll said, examining a sobbing Kanda for more injuries.
Cross sighed. "Give them to me." He grabbed Allen's hand as well as Kanda's. "We're going to the nurse's office."
The comment only made the children sob even harder. The redhead snarled for them to be quite and dragged the pleading boys out of the classroom.
"Hold down the fort while I'm gone," he called out to Tiedoll who nodded and turned to the other worried children with a reassuring smile
The boys were still crying, tears and snot everywhere. Cross looked at them with disgust. They better not get that shit on his new slacks.
Their sobbing reduced to soft whimpers as they finally got to the door of the nurses office.
"W-we promise n-not to f-fight anymore!" Allen hiccupped.
Cross rolled his eyes.
"I don't understand why you kids are so scared of the nurse" he said, knocking on the door.
When the door slid open, Cross's jaw slightly dropped. The nurse was a big burly angry looking man dressed in white.
"Yes?" the dark skinned man asked. Cross saw that his name was Skin from his name tag.
Cross cleared his throat.
"I come from a far away kingdom," Cross began since he was still wearing his paper crown and paper necklace. "These dumbasses got hurt."
Skin, the nurse, did not look amused.
Cross sucked his teeth, shoving the boys towards the gorilla of a man.
"Just clean the little crotch fruits up."
Allen and Kanda tried to fight their way back towards Cross, but Skin, the nurse, had a pretty firm grip on them.
"Twenty minutes."
And the door slid closed.
Cross blinked. Twenty minutes? Sweet. That was enough time for a smoke and maybe a nap. He went outside with all his construction paper crafted glory and broke out his smokes.
Three smokes later, Cross returned to pick up the boys from the nurse's office.
What greeted him when the door slid open really impressed Cross. The boys were not only patched up, but groomed and cleaned (with the exception of their dirty clothes). The pale looking boys slowly walked up to Cross, each grabbing a hand as they held onto their lollipops.
"Nice job." Cross complimented, liking Allen's well combed hair. The boy looked less feral than usual.
He gave the male nurse a tip, patting the man's breast pocket after slipping in the money. The large man slid the door close.
He didn't know what the nurse did, but the boys were silent as they walked back to the classroom. He decided right then and there, that he should take the kids to the nurse more often.
