Chapter Two: Disappointment can be Painful.

The room was the same as any other Headmaster's. It was quite plain with a huge wooden desk and a couple of chairs. He was sat in front of that desk as I came in. Kaien Cross our Headmaster. He was a little ditzy but nice enough. "Hello Sir," I said as I sat down on the chair opposite him, Zero sitting in the other. "Ah . . . Aya you know you can call me Uncle," He smiled at me and my heart fell. It was the big, fake smile that grown-ups wore when there was bad news. "Yes Uncle Kaien." His own face split into another wide grin. His eyes sparkled and he got to his feet to kneel before me. "Aya you're just like my Yuuki, you too are inseparable!" But then his face went from foolish to serious and I knew that bad news was on the way. "Aya, you're parents called and I'm afraid they can't make it to the Parent-Teacher conference this time." I knew that was it but it still made my eyes sting, I hadn't seen my parents in almost three years now. "That-" I cleared my throat, "That's fine, I knew they wouldn't be able to make it anyway." I hid my face behind my hair as it tumbled down over my shoulder. Uncle's hand was soft on my own but it only made me sadder so I pulled away.

"Zero will you escort Aya back to her room please?" Uncle asked but I didn't look up from my pity slump. "Aya could you wait outside please? I have to talk to Zero for a minute?" I nodded, numbly stood up and walked out the door. I didn't stop. I didn't want to be with anyone right now. No one was coming to see me . . . again. My eyes stung again but this time I didn't stop myself and I felt the silent sobs shake me. The tears were hot and salty. They ran down my pale face and left glittery marks. I was outside suddenly and I noticed I'd been running. My breath came in short gasps, I heard myself moan with pain. I was so angry . . . upset . . . distraught . . . betrayed . . . alone! It wasn't fair.

I stopped running when the pain in my chest got too much. I slumped down on the cold stone of the fountain that lay in the middle of the Academy. I was feeling so empty. My heart must have been pounding and I knew I was still crying but everything was numb. I didn't have any feelings left. My heart was heavy and my eyes felt red raw. But I couldn't bring myself to care. "Mom?" My voice was weak but it brought another round of tears onto me. I didn't know what to do. I felt hopeless. Utterly hopeless. I couldn't even bring myself to lift my head from my hands. I let the tears fall and let sorrow fill my heart as the night wore on.

The night air cut through me like a knife. The chill seeped into my bones and turned my blood to ice. I started shivering. I couldn't believe myself. How could I let a little thing like this get to me? I mean, sure I haven't heard from Mom and Dad in a long time but I'd hear from them soon enough. I laughed out loud at my own stupidity. I am Aya Sakamoto and I don't cry. I stood up with a scowl. I couldn't believe it. I growled under my breath and started towards the girl's Dorms. I was such an idiot. God, I feel ridiculous. What if someone had found me mopping to myself? That would have been awful. I was not about to let everyone think I'm some sort of wuss. No way! I always let my emotions get the better of me even though I let myself get my hopes up. I should have known something like this would happen but not once have I cried like that because of my parents not showing up. How embarrassing. I felt my face go red. "Oh . . . I'm an idiot," I murmured to myself. "Yes, yes you are!" I gasped and spun round to find myself face-to-face with Zero.

Damn it, I'd forgotten about him. His grey eyes stared at me without expression. I swallowed then decided to act my way through it. So hands on hips, mouth set in a frown and eyebrows scrunched up. "Where were you?" His eyes widened in disbelief. "I mean . . . I waited for you but it took so long for you to finish your little chat with Headmaster Cross that I decided to head back on my own." He kept staring at me but I held my ground. I could never tell if he was looking at me or through me. "I left the office only 5 minutes after you to find you gone," Oops I'd planned on him being in the office for a long time. "What can I say? I just have a very short attention span and 5 minutes is too long for me to wait." That is a pathetic reason and I could just tell Zero didn't believe me. "I saw you crying on the fountain" The floor underneath me seemed to give way. I was falling down into an endless abyss of embarrassment. "Y-y-you're w-wrong," I stuttered out. "I-it wasn't m-me," Damn, I could feel tears start to fill up my eyes. "I'm not wrong I saw you and I know it was you" Zero kept looking at me. "It wasn't me . . . I never cry . . . it wasn't me," I couldn't think straight. My mind was a jumble of endless spirals. And the whole while I was suffocating under my embarrassment, Zero stared at me. Stop staring, I thought getting angrier by the second. Stop that, stop it, don't do that, I can't stand it . . . stop . . . stop . . . "STOP LOOKING AT ME!" I screamed at him. His empty face suddenly cracked into an expression of shock. I gasped and covered my mouth. Shaking, I ran away. And just as I had done before, I started to cry.

I was running again . . .

Why did it always end with me running . . . ?

These questions buzzed around my head as the Girl's Dorm appeared out of the darkness. Yet I couldn't seem to get any closer to it. Even when I reached the large door that gave the promise of warmth and a soft bed, I couldn't do it. To lift that handle was too much. What if someone was awake? My breath hitched up my throat and I heard a strange noise come out from between my clenched teeth. It sounded like something between a growl and a sob. I was so angry yet I was so sad. I was tired too but not enough to want to face Amina when I got into my room.

I stood with my hand on that door for a short time before I decided what to do. I wasn't going to bed so why on Earth was I stood outside this damn door? Yeah it was past curfew but so what? Smiling to myself for the first time that night, I noticed that my tears had stopped falling. I headed to my left and started sneaking towards the trees that filled the Academy's campus. It was always too easy to sneak in and out around the campus. It didn't take me long to reach the secluded bench that the Academy had forgotten about. I wasn't worried that I would be caught; I'd been out here enough times and never been seen. That was what kept me off guard, I suppose.

I was trying my hardest to forget about my stupid show of emotion in front of Zero. But his face kept popping up in my mind. Zero? Why did it have to be Zero? It could have been anyone but the world gives me Zero. He was so distant and quiet; I much preferred it when I was off his radar. That was when I heard the rustling.

Maybe it was thinking about him that caused me to draw Zero. I didn't know, but out of the darkness between the trees I saw the flash of silver that could only belong to one person. I stood up quickly and made it behind a large tree before he made it to my hiding place. He didn't appear to know I was there, which I was extremely glad about. He was obviously looking for something, but I had the feeling that it wasn't me. His head was bowed and his eyes were sweeping the ground around my bench. He sat down heavily and sighed into his hands. He seemed extremely stressed and I was tempted to see if he was okay, but a second later he left my clearing, rubbing his throat with a hungry look in his eyes. I stayed hidden until I was sure he wasn't coming back. I made my way to the bench and examined the rough bark. It had been shaped from a fallen log and a tree stump was next to it. I couldn't see anything different about it. It was quite comfy for a bench and I lay down on it, wondering about the strange behavior of Zero Kiryu.

I watched the stars twinkle as I lay on my back. This was my favourite place to just sit and think. I imagined how cold and lonely it must be to be a star. Far out in space where no one can keep you company. A poem popped into my head, half-shaped words that trickled into form.

Glitter, shiver, loneliness

Sweet and innocent Star

Left to dwell upon fate of others

To gaze upon those so far

These words seemed gentle yet had a certainty about them that I liked. I sat up and reached into the small gaps between the roots of the tree stump. That was when my hand brushed against something cold and metal. I pulled it out, curiosity making my heart pound. A small box with a delicate design was in my palm. I'd never seen something so pretty. It was silver and shined brightly in the moonlight. I didn't know whether I should open it but curiosity got the better of me. Inside sat a bunch of little white pills. This had to be someone's medicine box and they must have dropped it. I felt terrible in case someone really needed it. I debated whether I should give it in now, when I remembered it was late at night. Tomorrow, definitely tomorrow I'll give it in. I smiled to myself but with a little bit of guilt, I placed the beautiful case into my pocket.

I pulled out my notebook, blew away the bits of dirt and leaves on the front before jotting down my new poem. I leaned against the shimmering ground and tried to think of more to write.

I wish little Star

You would be mine alone

A desperate dream

For me to love and own

The words weren't coming as easily as they should. I was too stressed. Biting my bottom lip, I tried to get the poem going and jot down some meaningful words but they all seemed empty, as empty as I felt right then. I was drained and suddenly really tired. I was trying to ignore it but my eyelids were terribly itchy and drooping. I decided that everyone would be asleep now and wouldn't be bothered about me. I got up, stretched whilst stifling a yawn and heading back to the Dorms. But before I did I put my notebook back in its little hiding spot, all my secrets and dreams hidden away from the world. That was quite a bittersweet feeling.