Confluence

By Violet Garnets

Chapter Fourteen: Onward

o-x-o-x-o

"Soon, it'll be Naruto's birthday," Kakashi said out loud as he stood in front of the memorial and looked around. Not particularly soon, but soon enough.

It was the mid-September, approaching its end and the slowly beginning to breach the threshold of October. Autumn had not yet touched on all of Konohagakure, but stealthy extended its reach across the village. It seeped into each particle in the air, and slowly the leaves played tag with one another, each tagged leaf turning a beautiful golden hue. In the almost-dawn light, however, the leaves seemed more like a muted yellow. Kakashi briefly considered if Naruto's hair looked like that color in the mornings. It made him smile, perhaps more rueful than anything else.

"Obito, what am I doing? I don't think I'm sane. Not that I've ever been really sane, but these dreams and these feelings...I can't tell what's real or what's mine or what I should believe. And if Naruto or Sakura were having these problems, I would have quick words, but somehow everything falls apart when it come to myself.

Naruto cares for me. Knowing him, knowing his sincerity and strength, I know that he cares for me just as much as everyone else in his life. I shouldn't doubt that. But if he's thinking about love, or if I'm..."

Even that, the jounin could not muster the courage to say out loud. It was right there, in his head, and he acknowledged it completely. But somehow, it seemed rather childish to admit this to Obito.

"You would be laughing your ass off at me right now, wouldn't you? Seeing me so flustered, anything but cool. Then again, you had always known how much of a fake sap I was. That's probably why you were pissed with me, eh?"

A few stray leaves brushed by his shoulder, as if to bid him farewell. Kakashi smiled. "Thanks, Obito."

The group was waiting for him at the gates. Everyone seemed to be accounted for, their eyes focused and bright as they all thought about the mission ahead. Sakura and Naruto held large rocks in their hands, presumable to throw at their tardy sensei, but even their expressions seemed distant, and their fingers only curled loosely around the rock. Kakashi quirked the edge of his lip; this would be difficult for both of them.

He sighed, closed his eyes, and as he opened them again, he pasted on a small smile. "Yo."

True to form, the two launched their rocks at him. He dodged Sakura's (the young woman had no limits, really) and let Naruto's graze his head. He winced to the point of exaggeration, and let out a steady stream of "itai-tai-tai-tai-tai!"

"YOU'RE LATE!"

"Maa, maa, a small snail needed a lift to the store so I stopped and helped it."

"Yeah, whatever," Sakura muttered. She clapped her hands together after scanning the group to make sure everyone was present and said, "Are we ready to go? Naruto and his team will head west, while my team moves northeast, yes? When we reach our locations, send a carrier bird back to Konoha."

"Will do!" Naruto said, flashing a thumbs up.

"Alright, let's go before Shikamaru falls asleep," Ino butted in. "We don't have any time to waste."

The pink-haired kunoichi nodded. "Let's move out. Good luck." With that, they split off.

Naruto, Kakashi, and Yamato had a smooth journey to Kusa, with few issues. They did pass through a village on the way and met a gang of bandits, but they were easily dealt with. It was a petty group, with no ties to larger organizations or plots, which was a nice change.

The rest of the trip proved unremarkable. Then again, after all of his missions gone awry with Team Seven, it took quite a lot of action for missions to become unexpectedly memorable.

Perhaps what surprised him a little was Naruto's silence on the majority of the travel. The blond moved quickly, but not so fast that he would tire himself out unnecessarily. What should have been a six day trip turned into a mere three days to the village.

By the end of the third day, they were only a half day's trip from the Hei residence, just outside the village walls. Yamato offered to build a warm wooden structure for them to sleep for the night. Naruto simply sat on a rock a short distance from the structure, his eyes focused upward, which left Yamato and Kakashi alone.

"Oi, Yamato."

"Yes, senpai?"

"I have a question for you-"

"About Naruto?"

Kakashi said nothing.

Yamato gave a low chuckle. "I figured as much, the way we're both looking at him lately. He's worrying you too."

"When you two were traveling together..." The older jounin started, his voice soft, "he must have been like this, sometimes."

The Mokuton user's brown eyes were thoughtful, carefully considering the years he had spent traveling with the young man. "He's never seemed very introspective, but...when you're growing up alone in the world, away from your home and dearest friends, I think that reflection is natural. Come to think of it, he actually spent a lot of time quietly, like that. Sometimes I couldn't help but imagine him as a small child, with that faraway expression of his."

They lapsed into a fragile quiet, permeated with the rustling of leaves and the faint sound of windchimes from the village. It made sense, Kakashi realized. As a young child, Naruto had no one to turn to: the adults that protected him had little time to play, and he had no other children to be his loud and rambunctious self with, so he must have had a lot of time alone. It was probably due to this that he had grown incredibly self-reliant since those early days, that he continued to be so demanding for attention. More than anyone, Naruto understood the capricious nature of people, of life. You could lose all of it at any second, through death, or perhaps simply because everyone changed their minds. No wonder he fought for it so hard.

"How lonely," Kakashi remarked. So lonely I could kiss him for it.

Yamato made a noise of agreement, but added, "We're not so different, senpai. Weren't you the same?"

Then, like sudden rain, a shower of memories began to hit Kakashi one by one. A beautiful woman with long black hair spilling down her back, like a lovely ghost, watching him as he walked up a tree for the first time. The same woman standing at the door as he came home from the Ninja Academy every day, without fail. Her willowy voice when she laughed or told him, "That's it, Kacchin. Keep trying." The way his father used to look at her. How she suddenly just slipped out of his life, as if she had fallen into the river when he wasn't looking and simply...washed away.

When his mother died, he no longer had anyone to tell him not to worry about the other children, soon enough they'd see him for Hatake Kakashi and not the awe-inspiring prodigy of Konoha's White Fang. His father never did understand how frustrating it was, for a five year-old child, to have other kids either keep a physical distance out of fear, or wait on him hand and foot, another unpleasant distance altogether. Looking back he realized that not caring about others after his father's suicide not only dulled the vitriol directed at Sakumo's ineptitude and shame, but also erased the worries he had over connecting with others. It was just the more convenient option, to shut everything out.

Only when Obito died did he arise from his stupor...and begin to feel the agony of being alone once more.

Kakashi laughed, dry and with only a little humor in it. "I guess we are alike. Perhaps that's why he impresses me so much."

Naruto never stopped trying.

The older jounin nodded his acknowledgment and Yamato left him alone on the porch. The sun had long dipped in the west, and he could vaguely make Naruto's outline in the light coming from inside the house. The temperature was dropping fast and the young blond looked like he was shivering a little, but made no move away from his place.

"Naruto...why me?"

He shook his head and went inside.

o-x-o-x-o

On the other side of Fire Country, the other party was roughly two days' distance from Kumo. Team Ten, Sai, and Sakura also had a fairly easy trip. Well, except for one slight delay. By the second day, Sai accidentally got married when they passed through a civilian village, but luckily they had that annulled and scrammed before the poor bride and Sai reached the honeymoon chambers. Sakura spent much of her time mulling over the mission report when they returned to Konoha. What, exactly, was the proper phrasing for accidental marriage due to social ineptitude and poor timing anyway? And what would she say to Tsunade about the fact that the daughter of a prosperous samurai family was completely smitten with Sai?

Besides, it kept her mind off of other things. Focus was of the absolute essence for this mission, but Sakura seemed to have little of it for the time being. She sighed as she pulled her hair into a ponytail. There were no patients to work on, no injuries to heal, but perhaps she could go find some particular plants for poisons and remedies. Anything to regain her drive for this mission.

"Where are you off to?"

She jumped, then turned around with a sheepish grin to face Shikamaru and Sai. The paler of the two was looking over Shikamaru's shoulder with his typical mildly curious expression. Shikamaru held his poker face. His whole body seemed to slouch, Sakura noted.

She shrugged. "I've heard there are some plants around here that only bloom at sunset. The Hokage once told me they make lethal poisons if charred and mixed with the right herbs. Or a remedy if boiled into a tea."

"You also need to think," Sai said.

"You're distracted, leader," Shikamaru added.

Crossing her arms, she couldn't help a wry grin. "You two are like peas in a pod, aren't you?"

"We're similar. As if we came from the same source," Shikamaru said, predicting Sai's question. The paler boy closed his mouth. He then turned his attention back to the pink-haired girl. "Anyway, we'll walk with you."

Sakura giggled, halfheartedly trying to hide it behind her hands. They really were alike and honestly, it was a wonder they hadn't teamed up earlier. Actually, scratch that. On the same team, the two of them could be quite terrifying, troublemakers not because they wanted to make trouble, but because it was logical to make trouble.

She began to walk deeper into the forest, followed by the boys. Only the occasional rustle of a forest animal dominated the first part of the walk. None of them seemed to mind. Sakura was rather grateful. As blunt as they both could be, they also understood the importance of waiting.

They reached the river's edge. Fortunately for her, she didn't have to walk long before she came upon a crop of dark red flowers drifting on the edge of the water. Brushing a bit of hair behind her ear, she pulled out her tanto and bent down. For a moment, she admired the flowers in the orange light of the falling sun. Orange...like Naruto's old outfits, like the spirals on his current one, like Kakashi's stupid porn he called literature...

"You're getting distracted again."

For the second time in about half an hour, the Shadow user had made her jump. An annoyed expression crossed her face as she glared at the two of them.

Sai's face seemed exceptionally pale against the light. A smile flashed across his mouth for a split second before he said, "You're thinking of our teammates."

Sakura nodded once, slowly, feeling rather warm at the fact that he had said "our teammates". Indeed, he really was part of their team now. She couldn't imagine him just disappearing from their lives now.

"But they're not here. And we've got a mission."

There it was. His trademark bluntness. A sharp thrill ran up the hairs on her neck. "I know that," she hissed, narrowing her eyes. Then she looked away, just about to touch a flower.

Shikamaru's voice made her pause. "Just know that we're here though. Sai and I can figure things out while you pull yourself together."

Her eyes widened. Huh. It certainly wasn't something she had ever expected to hear from him, something so... well, touchy-feely. "Thank you," she said softly, meaning it. She couldn't help but tease him a little though. "You're on your way to a fine confession for Temari."

He coughed. Sakura looked up at Sai, whose head was tilted to the side, figuring out what she meant. Shikamaru was looking away, still coughing. Snickering to herself, she grabbed the flower by the base of the petals and cut it off.

She watched the crowd below her, a sonorous cheer riding the crest of rising arms. Her face expressionless under her veil, she nodded her acknowledgment to them. This dark red, transparent, absurd veil, meant to protect her porcelain face, made the warm air around her stifling. She swallowed hard. Her fists clenched.

"New nations, a new peace. After years of war between those clans... it ends, just like that," a gruff voice beside her said, clearly tinged with satisfaction.

"Yes. A god exhales and changes the directions of the winds without a single thought." She turned to face him and her eyes flickered open. "We must be wary of the next turning of the winds."

He smiled at her. "What a wise and strong daughter I have. A shame you were not born a man, to lead this new nation once I'm gone."

Inhaling deeply, she bowed to him, saying nothing. Her insides, however, roiled.

The world would one day see her triumph, as a woman. No daimyo, not even her father, would stop her. This she swore on her blood.

Sakura dropped the flower but, once she came to, caught it before it touched the water. What on earth?

"You okay there, leader? Zoned out for a minute."

She shook her head. "No, no. I'm fine. Just distracted again." Quickly she swiped through several other stems and shoved the plants in a bag. She stood up hurriedly. "It's getting dark. Let's get back to camp." Without looking back, she began to walk away. She could feel two sets of dark eyes boring into her back and she couldn't help but pick up her pace.

Sakura certainly had new things to keep her mind off of the mission and her team.

o-x-o-x-o

Gamakichi had just disappeared after receiving the blond's request when Naruto felt a soft weight fall over his back. The sleeves of a jacket hung from his shoulders and he let the tips of his fingers graze the dark blue material. Waterproof. Bendy. Not exactly great for warmth but his temperature started rising anyway. His heart raced as well, but he wasn't sure if that had anything to do with the jacket.

"Up to anything?"

Naruto shrugged. He pulled the jacket by the sleeves before it slipped off. "Just thinking. Asked Gamakichi if he could see if anyone knows how demon and sage chakra interact."

"Poorly, I'm sure."

"Then it'll be more of a challenge."

Kakashi chuckled. Naruto wouldn't ever be the first to admit it, but he would always be the first to recognize how nice Kakashi's laugh sounded. Low, short, and somehow hesitant, a "maybe" of a laugh. But one that was honest all the same, much more sincere and much more rare than many of the Copy-nin's eye-smiles.

"I'm doing okay, you know," Naruto said as he moved over on his rock and patted the open space.

Kakashi sat down next to him. The warmth passing between their arms frustrated the blond. He wanted to press closer, right up against him. "I do know. You took me by surprise at first, but you do your good bit of planning and thinking as well. You're more worried about Sakura than our own mission though, aren't you."

He nodded slowly. Kakashi was always on point about everything. "Besides Baachan, she's the strongest woman I know, but..."

"It's not her, it's Sasuke."

"He'll kill her in half a breath if he has the chance, that bastard." And unexpectedly, his voice cracked. He flushed and clenched his fist. That asshole, after everything she had done for him, even if she loved him more than he had ever seen someone love another, even–

Kakashi's hand was on his fist. "Open up." The man's voice ghosted over his ear, warm in this cold night air, and Naruto realized that Kakashi had had his mask down this entire time, that he still had not summoned up the courage to look the man directly.

So he obeyed and Kakashi clasped their fingers together. Naruto's breaths slowed. His heartbeat hitched. The cloak around him began to feel heavy.

"She'll be fine. She's got time on her side. We're ahead of schedule and we'll meet up sooner to help out. Isn't that why you've been rushing?"

He was moving before he registered the actions. He leaned against Kakashi's arm, head on the shoulder, his face tilted so his bright blue eyes could focus on the jounin's neck. He nuzzled the man's collarbone lightly with his nose. Naruto could feel his companion stiffen at the touch, but the muscles relaxed a little as soon as he said, "You're warm."

"You've been out in the cold alone." The silver-haired man opened up their hands and thrummed his fingers against Naruto's.

"I do that a lot. You do too."

Kakashi didn't have anything to say. Or if he did, he chose to keep it to himself. Naruto suspected it was the latter and wanted to wrestle the words out. He put his free hand on Kakashi's abdomen while his other hand clutched Kakashi's even tighter, and he lifted his head to kiss the man's jaw. It wasn't the most comfortable position, but Kakashi stiffened all over again, and Naruto relished the tautness underneath right hand.

"Why are you so afraid of me?" he whispered. And he'd gone through it before many times, the possible answers, from this one to another. He wanted to know, he wanted to change this, but what if Kakashi lied? No, he'd see through that bullshit. What if he told the truth? Naruto had mulled through every possibility and he still had no words prepared for any sort of response. His heart was racing faster than ever, so he just went in for a kiss on the neck, keeping it pressed there as he felt Kakashi make a "hmm", the vocal chords vibrating against his lips.

"Why wouldn't I be afraid of Konoha's Number One Most Unpredictable Ninja? "

Naruto pulled back, looking the older man right in his visible eye, trying but not really trying to discern Kakashi's thoughts. He straddled Kakashi's lap, knees on either side, the cloak falling to the ground. He raised his hands and pulled down the mask, to which there was no resistance. It wasn't resignation either, that kept Kakashi so passive, but perhaps a– well, Naruto couldn't say. "It's not because we're both men. That wouldn't matter to you. Everyone's seen you with Icha Icha, but no one's really called you a sexual deviant. You don't really care what others would say." He ran a hand through Kakashi's hair, full and unruly but each strand was so fine and pale in the moonlight, and there were things running through his head, telling him he feltwantedneeded to be

Felt.

Wanted.

Needed.

By this man in front of him. Just him.

"You don't care what anyone alive would say." The younger one loosened the hitai-ate and it slid over both of Kakashi's eyes. He only saw the lower half of the face: the nose, the lips, the chin, the scars. Naruto took a thumb to the scar along the chin, rubbing it softly. Kakashi's lips parted. An audible breath escaped.

Naruto hated the pounding in his ears. He couldn't think. Even if he'd been outside for hours, thinking and thinking until his temples throbbed, nothing helped him now.

But he had to do something, had to say something.

So he leaned in (his knees were digging into the rocks, thighs shaking like some naked virgin from the old pervert's books, heart shaking just as much as his thighs), still holding the hitai-ate in place as a blindfold, and murmured, "Stop. Being. So. Scared. Open up."

His lips dove at Kakashi's, searching and demanding, while his hand pressed into the maskless face. Just open up, he repeated to himself, like a mantra.

A large hand grabbed at his hair. Slightly dry lips responded fervently, nipping almost, as if all the air Kakashi would ever get was somewhere in Naruto and he had to get it quick. The blond nearly lost his grip on the hitai-ate acting as a blindfold, but he held on tight. With reluctance he let go of that warm skin along the jawline and brought both hands behind the silver hair to tie the hitai-ate firmly in place.

Naruto's knees still hurt like hell but goddammit it didn't matter because he was on the verge of something and any hesitation, any movement too slow, and he'd lose this opportunity. He had a feeling Kakashi wasn't opening up quite yet, but he would take this. He would take anything, any tiny crack in the armor, and pry it wide open.

o-x-o-x-o

So here's yet another chapter! I'd apologize for the cliffhanger, but...the next part will be pretty cool? The stakes are steadily getting higher, and I hope you liked the interaction separate from the Kakashi-Naruto sort. I had some constructive criticism earlier saying that the rest of Konoha sort of faded away with my huge focus on Naruto and Kakashi, so I hope this was a little better. It'll be more balanced as we move into later chapters. Oh, and we'll have some new characters coming up, but they're not really new because I like subtle crossovers...hehehe.

I'm thinking about writing a sidestory, perhaps as a backup when things get slow, detailing Sai's accidental marriage. It's all in my head and sort of sketched out on paper, but I felt that it was a little tangential in relation to this story. But oh, Sai. The things you do. Silly boy is silly.

Anyway, thanks for reading. Please comment with anything on your mind, whether it's criticism or praise or just what you had for dinner or a fic request. I can churn out short one-shots if you have a request.

Thanks for your time!

Ja ne,

Vi