Meeting Insanity
The man in the middle whipped his bow around, knocked an arrow and drew it back.
"Stop right there!" He yelled.
Connie raised a single eyebrow and said, "Halt could do that so much better."
"Don't mo-."
But before he could finish his sentence Allan interrupted him.
"Uh, Robin. I'm not being funny right, but she's touching me!" He pointed to the form clinging on to his waist and lightly pointing his cheek. Much ran forward.
"Get off him!" He grabbed at Tilley, but she would not budge. She didn't even notice Much's attempt to dislodge her from Allan, so she continued to stroke his cheek with her index finger.
"John?" Much asked. Little John handed his wood staff to Much as he walked forward.
Everyone frowned when even Little John couldn't remove this... thing from Allan's waist.
In the midst of the confusion no one noticed as Djaq crept around the edge of the campfire and grabbed the indifferent Connie from behind, dagger raised to her throat.
"Stop everyone! Stop!"
*Awkward silence where everyone looks at each other, not knowing what to do. Tilley still softly stroking Allan's cheek*
"Let go of Allan, or I will kill her!"
Tilley continued to stare at Allan, but her glance flickered to Connie then back to Allan, wavering between the two. Her eye's snapping quickly back to Connie. She shrugged.
"Sorry dude, but this is Allan."
That was it. That drew the line, and Connie had a short line.
"You bitch; you made me come here in the first place when I would have been perfectly happy with Trig. But noooooo. Now I'm gonna die, all because of you. This totally breaks the 'Bro's before Ho's' Code." Connie looked daggers, (No, wait), looked swords at Tilley, lips pursed. "I want my purple 'BFF's Forever' bracelet with matching pink love hearts back!"
Tilley raised her eyebrows, then let go of Allan's waist, looking guilty.
"Sorry, man."
"Better." Connie said.
As soon as Allan was free of her grasp he scampered away from her and hid in pure fear behind John, clinging to his big, long, flappy, brown, floppy leather cloak. Robin looked around the camp, eyes narrowed in thought.
"Right, so answer me this, who are you two?"
"Yeah," Allan said, "I'm not being funny, but who the hell are you?"
"And how did you get into our camp?" Much asked. Will continued the thought, "How did you even know it was here?"
*Silence*
Tilley's eyes lit up and Connie could tell she was going to go on a tangent.
"Well..."
Connie sighed, "Here we go..."
*Ten minutes and only three breathes later...*
"... And THAT is how we got here!" Tilley finished with a triumphant smile. Everyone was silent. Much, Allan, Djaq and Little John were eyes wide with shock. Will was just standing there and Robin was scowling.
"You can't scowl right. Only Halt can scowl right. Just give up while you're ahead, bub." Connie said. All eyes were on her, then they looked at Tilley, smile no longer triumphant, more bordering on maniac. Connie looked at her friend, "Now you people SEE what I have to put up with?" Her hands raised to the heavens.
The Outlaws looked at each other... totally confused. The Much laughed, "Yeah right!"
"Yeah..." Tilley sighed, "I know it sounds-"
"Insane!"
"Crazy!"
"Outrageous?"
"Stupid!"
"Well it's not an everyday occurrence for us either." Connie said.
"Alright," Robin said, "You are obviously not from around here or Nottingham-"
Connie's face lit up slightly. "The Sheriff!"
Wills head snapped around. "What about him?"
"... Notthhiinngg..." She looked around shiftily.
"Oh-My-Gwad!" Tilley exclaimed.
"What?" Much asked.
"I just thought of another way for you to believe us!"
"How?" Robin looked slightly bemused.
"Right. WE KNOW YOUR NAMES!"
*Awkward silence*
"Right, that's enough." John said, "YOU are INSANE!"
"No, fully!" Tilley exclaimed. She pointed at each one as she spoke. "You're Robin, Leader of the gang. Fought in the Crusades and you have lost your 'appetite for blood', though Gisborne thinks otherwise!-"
"And you have been affectionately nicknamed 'Hood' by both," she sighed, 'The Sheriff and Gissy." Tilley gave Connie look, she shut up.
Tilley continued "John, Little John – big, you have got a few temper issues-"
"I DO NOT!"
Connie looked at his pointedly, "Case and point."
"You had a wife – Alice and a little Little John. Djaq, the Saracen woman. Originally mistaken for a guy to begin with until Will walked in on you were getting changed. Much, Robin's loyal servant-"
"And pet." Connie put in.
"Yes, whatever. You are the comedian of the group, though unwilling. You just want to be loved.
"And Allan. Dear, dear Allan-A-Dale. My GOD you're hott!" Tilley finished, her eyes glazed over with, what she called, the beauty of Allan.
"Two things," Connie started, "One, Don't take the Lords name in vein, and two, Will, you're very pretty too."
"And you have a brother, Luke, and a daddy who has the ugliest freaking hair cut eva!" Tilley finished!
