A/N: Whoops, missed the deadline. Ha ha, big surprise, I know. Sorry about that. But my internet was out for a while, so it's only mostly my fault this time instead of completely. I think I am going to try and write this story, SkyClan Divided, and Flowers, Sunshine, and Death. Once I can juggle those three, I'll continue working on all the others I haven't finished. (Hunted, the two I haven't published yet but am totally psyched about...) So, updates will either be more regular, or will totally suck. One or the other. Ha ha. Anyway, I know kitties can't cry in real life, but they also don't communicate in English or have organized religion ha ha. Think of it as creative license... Scientifically incorrect creative license. Ha ha. ;) Okay, I don't really know how long it was before the second raid so I've left the timing fairly ambiguous... R&R!


"Clawface! Icetalon!" called Blackfoot, leaving Russetfur's side to stand at the mouth of the nursery. The deputy had come to see if Russetfur was handling Flamesong's death shortly after he returned from the failed raid. He called in his two cronies, glancing back at Russetfur Falconkit.

Clawface followed Icetalon to the mouth of the den at a run, and asked quickly, "What is it?" Icetalon dipped his head to the ginger queen nervously before snapping his attention back to Blackfoot.

"The raid was a complete and total failure." he said harshly, the two younger toms looking down. "ThunderClan drove us away with hardly any trouble at all. I couldn't get the kits. We have failed our leader." The deputy stared at the ground as well. "But it has come to my attention that we can try again. Just the three of us, and quietly, not an open fight like last time. It will go much better this way, and we can get the kits. For Brokenstar. I won't let that mangy Tigerclaw defeat you again, Icetalon."

Russetfur flattened her ears and suppressed a growl. "How do you know this will work?" asked Clawface in awe.

"That doesn't matter now. The point is... The camp will not expect us. And that's the opportunity for the three of us to take the kits! We leave at sundown." Blackfoot told them, his tail waving back and forth excitedly.

Icetalon and Clawface nodded and darted away, Blackfoot following slowly after. Russetfur simply lay there, lost in her memories of the cat Blackfoot mentioned.

A fox was slinking through the woods towards a dark brown tabby kit across the Thunderpath, in ThunderClan territory. Hollyflower had jumped up, ordering "Fox! Come on, you two, cross NOW!" and Hollyflower, Archeye, and her younger self dashed across the stretch of Twoleg stuff. The fox had almost reached the kit when Hollyflower intercepted it... They each did their part fighting against the fox, and eventually it was run off. "ShadowClan will always be my friends!" Tigerkit had told them. "One day I'll help you, too!"

Yeah, help ShadowClan? Russetfur shuddered. If by help, he had meant, one day, Russetpaw, you'll have my kits, but don't worry, you don't have to want it. I'll just be bigger and stronger than you and force you. That should help your Clan... The hatred she felt for the tom coursed through her, but her heart winced. She still loved him. It was incredibly hard for her to admit, but no matter what he had done, she couldn't forget all the other times they had, and she wondered if he hadn't really meant to do it. If he was just so emotionally overwhelmed and he couldn't control it... She shook her head.

No! Don't let foolish thoughts pull you into his trap... He is evil! She clutched at the ground with her claws as if to have something to hold her down. Her eyes blazed and her breath was coming fast. Is he really, though? Can you honestly call him evil for one terrible act in his life? It might have just been a mistake... If he really is evil, he will not go to StarClan... Are you ready to say that you would want him to spend eternity... Alone?

Yes! He should be alone, so that he cannot hurt any other cat as he hurt me even after he dies. Yet the queen flinched when she thought of his death. How would he die? Would it be soon? She tried to tell herself that that was what she wanted, but she knew that it was not true. She didn't want him to die. Ever. Because she still loved him.

"Meet me at moonhigh tomorrow night, at the Thunderpath, where you saved me!" Tigerpaw had said at their first Gathering... His bright amber eyes were so young and innocent then, not a trace of deception in them, not a dream of cunning or plotting. She had felt such energy that night, even after she told him that she wouldn't go, that it was against the warrior code. Just the fact that he had wanted to meet with her made her feel so happy...

Then later that night, Tigerpaw had shown up in the ShadowClan camp... "You're the only one I can talk to!" he had said. His words had made her feel so... Special. Like the two of them had met through StarClan's wishes. But if that was true, had StarClan wished her to be pregnant with his kits, even though it wasn't what she wanted? Could StarClan be at fault for what had happened that night in ThunderClan territory?

"I love you." Tears welled in her eyes as she remembered Tigerclaw, hiding in the marsh, waiting to tell her why he had come... "I love you, Russetfur. I love you!" he continued... It had been amazing to hear those words, words that had never been spoken to her before. She had wanted so terribly to say them back, to make him feel how she felt at that moment, but once again, as always seemed to happen with him, she had to put her ambition first. She told him that they couldn't love each other. That they could never be together, because of their Clans. "You love me too, Russetfur, I know you do!" he cried as she left him again. How right he had been...Yet she had sworn she would be leader of ShadowClan one day, so she could never be with him.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this..." Tigerclaw had said to her as she lay, nearly dead in the ShadowClan camp, just after Foxheart had been named deputy, when ThunderClan had attacked them... Redtail and Mousefur had fought her, beaten her, and she lay in the dirt, covered in blood and in shame at her loss.. No, it wasn't supposed to be like this. "Russetfur, I will never forgive you if you die now. Stay alive. Stay alive..." And she had held on, fought against StarClan, kept herself from going to a place of eternal rest and happiness... Kept herself alive, for him. Because she loved him.

She held her breath in an attempt to calm herself as she remembered the night when it had happened.. "One day you'll be the leader of ShadowClan, and I of ThunderClan. We'll be Russetstar and Tigerstar, and our kits will be deputies, and we can always be together in secret." Tigerclaw had promised, just before everything fell apart. That beautiful dream of his.. Russetstar and Tigerstar... They were like figments of her imagination, some mysterious alternate future... But these kits, her kits, could one day grow up to be deputies, and she and Tigerclaw could one day be the leaders of their Clans... But they would never be together again. Not in secret, and never again. Not after what he did. The henious crime that he comitted was one that could not be forgiven... Right?

Russetfur found herself doubting if that was the right answer yet again. If it really was one huge mistake, she was condeming herself to a dark, lonely future, and him as well. It pained her to hurt him, but if this would hurt him or not she had no idea. She thought about everything he had ever said to her, about loving her, about wanting to be with her forever. Was it all a lie? Or was what happened that night the lie? Perhaps Tigerclaw did love her, and if that was true...

NO! She screamed mentally. Don't do this! It doesn't matter if he meant to or not, he still did it, and that IS unforgivable. Do not go back to him. Not after that. He doesn't deserve it! She took strength from these words and shut out the other thoughts, the ones that reminded her that she still loved him. The light of the sunset suddenly spilled into the nursery, turning the ground blood red, and making her fur shine with light. Maybe this is a sign that StarClan agrees with me. I'm no medicine cat, but it'd be better to pretend she was than fall into Tigerclaw's spiderweb again.

Sunset, she thought. Blackfoot would be taking Icetalon and Clawface back to ThunderClan now. What they were doing, taking kits from their mother, was a terrible, terrible thing, she knew, but she also knew that ThunderClan would get them back, probably before the night was done. And she would be banished from her Clan. Flamesong was as sure of that as she was that she was going to die, and that had come true... So Russetfur believed it. And she would take Falconkit with her. The tiny she-cat was outside the den, staring at the sky as the first stars began to appear, whispering at them, talking to Flamesong.

The storm that was lingering overhead all day broke, rain starting to first trickle, then pour down. Wordlessly, Russetfur padded outside, leading Falconkit back into the den and out of the rain. She didn't fight it, but she stayed at the mouth of the den, where water cascaded from the top of the den into an icy curtain and stared up at the sky, which was now almost completely covered in clouds, so much that the sun was blotted out, and stared at the one star that was still visible before it was covered by the rolling black clouds.

Lightning flashed, a huge bright light in the sky, and thunder roared through the camp. Falconkit didn't flinch, only sat there and stared. The loss of her mother had shaken the kit to her core, and nothing could faze her from speaking to her mother, even if Flamesong couldn't hear her. But Russetfur knew that Flamesong was listening, and Quakekit, and the unnamed kit too.